


The Process of Healing

by Hufflepuff_Romantic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Childhood Trauma, Coming Out, Draco has low self-esteem, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Grief/Mourning, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Healing, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Inexperienced Draco Malfoy, Inexperienced Harry Potter, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Minor Violence, Night Terrors, Non-Graphic Violence, Not Epilogue Compliant, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Confusion, Sexual Orientation, Sexuality, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 110,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24470794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hufflepuff_Romantic/pseuds/Hufflepuff_Romantic
Summary: Draco goes back to Hogwarts after the battle as part of his probation and learns a lot about himself and his classmates.It is a story of healing and acceptance with the characters finding their place in the world after the war and thinking about what they want that world to look like. Things will be difficult at first with tension amongst the characters, many of them still suffering the after effects of the war. However slowly, they will start to understand and support each other as existing relationships continue and new ones form. On top of this Harry and Draco (but Draco especially) haven’t really had any experience of relationships and are still trying to work out their sexuality and what they want from life as they are now able to look to the future in a way they never really thought they could.This story is set immediately after the final battle at Hogwarts and will take us through the next year (and a bit!) after the war. The idea is that it could be the next book in the series after DH, however, as a bit of a twist, Draco is the main character, not Harry. It is canon-compliant with all the events of the books but ignores the epilogue and the later events of The Cursed Child. Full summary inside.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood, other side ships
Comments: 73
Kudos: 120





	1. Prologue: The Dark and the Light

**Author's Note:**

> Very slow burn Drarry (don’t say I didn’t warn you!) slash fic.  
> This is more of a romance story, (what else would you expect from my username?!) where Harry and Draco slowly work on their relationship from enemies to friends to more than friends.  
> *~*  
> It is an ‘8th Year’ Hogwarts fic but with a bit of a difference and it does take a while to set things up over the summer before school starts back again so don’t expect it to jump straight into the Hogwarts part of the plot. Strong themes of inter-house unity and breaking old prejudices.  
> Harry isn’t actually in it that much at the beginning so be prepared for that but I wanted to really set Draco’s character up and see how he copes with things after the battle, plus they are split up for the summer anyway each doing their own thing. Don’t worry, time with Harry will come!  
> We don’t really see Harry’s side of things other than through dialogue. I think we all know enough about what Harry’s going through and I really just wanted to get in Draco’s head and explore his character for this story.  
> *~*  
> Things to do move slowly with their relationship at first. There’s a lot to go through with these two and I didn’t want to rush it. Plus I wanted to work on Draco’s other relationships with friends and family and write about his school lessons etc.  
> It’s quite long, just so you’re aware of what you’re getting into!  
> *~*  
> It’s labelled as Mature because of the topics that it handles. It probably won't have explicit sexual content, the sex stuff will most likely be quite tame and mostly implied. There are moments that touch on death, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, nightmares and some references to child abuse (emotional, neglect, a bit physical but never sexual). Some angst in places but not too much. Draco also does have quite a low opinion of himself and stuggles with self-worth for a big chunk at the beginning of the fic so if that's something that you struggle with then this fic might not be for you, but he does overcome it. Sorry if I’ve missed other warnings.  
> *~*  
> I really hope you enjoy it. I’m new to writing so I’m very much still learning how to write a good story! Constructive criticism is welcome and I’d love to know what you think. I’ve really enjoyed the Drarry fics of many others on this site so if you’re one of those authors then thank-you for all the inspiration. I have tried to make this story my own but I’m not claiming it’s 100% original, I know some of the things I’ve included have been done before but I certainly didn’t deliberately copy anyone and I’m pretty sure there are elements to this story that are a bit different! Certainly some things that I haven’t seen done so hope you like my version!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End of the Battle of Hogwarts but from Draco's perspective.

Potter was dead.

Draco had been sneaking through the castle amongst the mourners and the injured just trying to stay hidden. He didn’t even know what side he was on anymore. Well, truly he had known for a long time what side he wanted to be on, and he thought his parents did too now, but it wasn’t that easy was it? Physically they had been on different sides of the battle tonight. His parents were with Him, in the darkness somewhere and Draco was on this side, in the dim lights of the castle. Even though he wasn’t welcome here either, an impostor. He hadn’t been fighting, he had just been trying to stay alive; cowardly walking the line between the darkness and the light, not fitting in on either side.

A coward would have fled, though, wouldn’t they? Draco had the chance earlier when the Slytherin house had been evacuated. He had found some courage to sneak back in and the only reason he had was because his parents would be here. If the Dark Lord was here then they would be too and they were wandless, vulnerable. Draco couldn’t bear that, he needed to protect them, somehow. Vince and Greg, who had snuck back in with him, had assumed that Draco wanted to rejoin the Death Eaters, to fight. That had been convenient for him so he had let them believe it.

He hadn’t seen his parents since Easter having returned to school for the term with his mother’s wand. He had tried to get his wand back from Potter thinking then at least he could return Mother’s to her when he found her, but that hadn’t worked out too well. His mother’s wand had been left in that room somewhere, now destroyed by the Fiendfyre that had almost killed them and Potter had kept Draco’s wand so now Draco was wandless again.

He was vulnerable but it didn’t matter now because there was no hope left anyway. Vince was dead, Greg had vanished and then the worst thing of all.  
Now Potter was dead.

Draco was on the second floor when he heard that voice echo all around the school.

“Harry Potter is dead…” No, Surely not! “...we bring you his body as proof that your hero is gone.”

The Dark Mark was burning into the skin as if reminding him somehow that this was supposed to be good news, this is what his master wanted. Yet Draco felt no joy in those words, only more fear as he could feel the darkness flooding into the castle. He was getting closer, surely Mother and Father would be coming too. Unless they have already been disposed of… No, he couldn’t think like that. He had to check, he had to see for himself.

He ran down to the stairs and out towards the front of the school as so many others were doing now, blending into the crowd as they were all trying to catch a glimpse of their hero, praying it would not be true. With his black hood pulled over his platinum hair, one noticed him. They were all looking at one thing… the lifeless body in the half-giant’s arms. He could see it now too. There was no mistaking that messy mop of jet black hair.

Then the screams started. “NO!” "HARRY!” where the words echoing all around.

Then another, much more terrible, voice called out over the crowd. “SILENCE!”

There was a bang and a flash of bright light. Then everything went quiet and Draco could feel his throat constricting, knowing he couldn’t yell out now even if he wanted to. He could feel the darkness pouring into him, choking him. He couldn’t breathe. Looking at that snake-faced figure, with red eyes drilling into the crowd and a twisted smile looking down at them, he knew he could not be here.

The Dark Lord was beginning his new reign over the world. This was the end for Draco.  
The end for them all.

Words were being spoken and some people were moving towards the front but it was all fuzzy to him as he could feel the panic rising. He turned and pushed back through the masses. He was a coward after all; he knew that but he couldn’t bear to be in a world where the darkness had taken over. As long as The Chosen One was alive there had been a tiny flutter of hope in Draco but hope had died when Potter died.

So Draco started running from the fighting that had broken out once more, wandless and afraid. He crouched down low in an alcove trying to disappear into the stone behind him. His focus was sliding in and out, his breathing was ragged. He had no idea how long he was there for or what was happening around him.

Then all of the sudden the castle became still once and from his hiding place he heard cheering. Not the deranged roars of the dark side, but genuine happy celebrations. What? Was it over? Even though he could not comprehend it, he knew at that moment what it meant.

In his confusion he thought he had imagined the voices that came. “Draco, Draco, where are you?” “Draco, son?” “Oh, Draco, we found you, finally.” They had embraced like they had never done before and Draco had forced his feet to follow them back to The Great Hall following his mother’s voice as if in a trance. “Come, Draco, come, it’s ok, come and see.”

Walking back into the Great Hall the first thing that struck Draco was the light. The sun had risen and was beaming in through the broken windows. There was no sign of the hooded figures or their fearsome leader. The darkness was gone. People were rushing into the middle of the room, cheering and desperately trying to reach someone in the middle.

Then Draco saw him. Amongst the sea of arms all trying to hug him was Potter, very much alive.

The Dark Lord was dead and Potter… Well, Potter was alive.


	2. The End or the Beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Straight after the Battle of Hogwarts but from Draco's perspective. I went back and read it carefully and tried to picture where Draco would be whilst everything was happening based on what we now from canon and then I just added my own things in to fill the gaps.

It had been hours but Draco wasn’t sure if this was the end or the beginning as he sat there with his parents either side of him huddling together. It felt like the end as he looked around at all the crumbling stone and cracked windows that once was the Great Hall but was now just evidence of death and destruction. But the end of what? The end of the war? Was it truly over? There was an eerie sense of calm about the place now that only hours ago had seemed frantic. The sobs from earlier had stopped and although many a face was still tear stained, there were also some nervous smiles being exchanged between loved ones as if they wanted to be happy but they weren’t quite sure if they were allowed to be yet. The four long tables had been put back but no one was sitting according to house, they were all mingling together, teachers, pupils, parents and magical creatures alike. Some just sitting still, some holding each other, some sharing in quiet conversation. 

No one was looking in their direction though and Draco was at least glad for that. He didn’t want to join in with anyone’s sadness or anyone’s celebration because he didn’t feel happy or sad. In fact he wasn’t sure how he felt at all, mostly he just felt numb, empty. Should he be feeling happy? He had survived hadn’t he? The Dark Lord was dead wasn’t he? Yes he was, he has to be, Draco told himself. The three of them were sitting here very much alive and He was dead. That was more than he had ever hoped for in the last two years. He honestly didn’t think they would ever make it out alive but yet somehow here they were. Surely that was worth a smile at least, he thought, looking over again at his mother on his right and his then at his father on his left. Maybe, just maybe, they could move on from this now and be a family again. Could this be seen as a beginning?

His small smile vanished when he looked up and saw Weasley and Granger walking back into the Great Hall and the familiar pang of jealousy returned. Only this time it wasn’t an angry feeling as he had often felt looking at them over the years. He somehow couldn’t find it in himself to hate them anymore or be jealous of the mass adoration that always seemed to follow them. No, it was a sad jealousy as he looked at the scene in front of him. Their hands were clasped together and their eyes looking at each other with a softness he had rarely seen. He suddenly recognised that his rivals had each other, an official couple now it seemed and the love between them was obvious. 

That, he realised, was the source of this unexpected sad jealousy that possessed him. Who would he have? Who could possibly love him like that? It wasn’t just the two of them either, was it? The little crowd of redheads halfway down the hall now turned to look at the pair in the entrance and beckoned them over. They were a true family, united in love with a future they could all look forward to. They had won and would be seen as heros of the wizarding world now, all of them. Draco hadn’t won, and he certainly wasn’t a hero. He had wanted the cold, snake-faced bastard dead that was for sure, but he had still been on the wrong side of this war, hadn’t he? Even in a room full of people with his mother’s hand on his knee and his father’s arm around his shoulders, he still felt alone and the brief, tiny feeling of happiness he had allowed himself to feel slipped away.

Looking again at the two of them as they started walking over to the rest of the Weasleys, he realised there was someone missing. Where was that mop of unruly black hair that was always with them? The golden trio was one short. Thinking about it, where had Potter disappeared to, and when? He had saved his life earlier that day, in the room of requirement. Draco hadn’t really had time to process that or maybe he just didn’t want to. Why didn’t he leave them to burn in that stupid fire, they hated each other after all. But then he supposed that just what ‘Perfect Potter’ did, he was ‘The Saviour’ after all so he was just living up to his name. Probably just wanted to save Draco so he could lord it over him for the rest of his miserable life. 

So, where was he now, he wondered. Shouldn’t he be here, celebrating with his Weasley girlfriend and adopted family? The boy-who-lived-again, (as he would surely be known now) would no doubt want the attention of his devoted fans, everyone congratulating him on his victory. Maybe he was just waiting for his grand entrance. Hopefully Draco and his family would be gone by then so he wouldn’t have to witness it. That’s what Draco wanted wasn’t it? To never see his school rival again. Then he thought about whether he truly would ever see him again. I mean, of course he would see his face on the front page of every newspaper and magazine in the country no doubt and everyone would be talking about him, they always did. But would he ever really see him again, be in the same room as him, exchange words with him? Probably not. The war had been won, what reason would a Death Eater and the Chosen One possibly have to see each other. They were hardly going to socialise together. Maybe he would never see Harry Potter again and that would be a good thing, right? They had been enemies for so long but what would they be now? Strangers? Somehow that just didn’t feel right either.

After a while he was suddenly pulled away from his thoughts as he felt his father sharply withdraw his arm from around him and his mother tense up beside him. Then he realised they were no longer being ignored. A tall, broad-shouldered man was striding towards them with his deep purple robes billowing out behind him. The bloody Minister of Magic himself was heading their way. Technically, he was acting Minister of Magic, but surely it wouldn’t be long now before a vote was officially taken and he would be sworn in, Draco thought to himself. The Minister had two wizards he didn’t recognise following suit in rather official looking, although definitely battle worn, ministry robes. Aurors, he thought, of course. Then he almost laughed. How on earth did he think even for a second that he could possibly be happy. Was he really that naive? He was a Death Eater for goodness sake and now he was probably going to rot in Azkaban for the rest of his life, mother and father too no doubt. This definitely is the end, he thought bitterly as the other wizards stopped in front of them.

Draco followed the lead his father had set by rising to his feet, trying to look more confident than he felt. He sensed his Mother rising beside him too and the three of them stood to face their inevitable doom. Lucius crossed over in front of Draco to stand between his wife and son but slightly in front of them to face Kingsley Shacklebolt. Kingsley had the two aurors either side of him but slightly behind.

“Minister” Lucius said, bowing his head ever so slightly as he did so without breaking eye contact with the man.

“Mr Malfoy” Kingsley returned before hestitaing slightly as if unsure what to say next. He took a short pause before continuing. “None of us are quite sure how to proceed from here. To be honest, I’m not quite sure if I should be thanking your family here or arresting you all.” 

Kingsley gestured to Draco and Narcissa as he said it before putting his hand on his bald head and rubbing it slightly, frowning as he did so. He seemed genuinely confused, Draco held his breath, pondering this latest development. He had been sure they were about to be arrested, now it seems like it might not be the case. Dare he hope once more? Lucius did not reply and for a while it seemed like nobody spoke. They all just seemed to anxiously look at each other waiting for someone to make the first move.

After what seemed like an eternity, the Minister straightened up and spoke once more, this time with more confidence. 

“We all need time to process what has happened here today and get affairs in order. Witness statements will need to be taken about what truly happened but I know this, I did not see you fight today and you have not fled like the other Death Eaters and that does say something. It doesn’t, however, mean that I trust you. It is correct, is it not, that your home was being used as Voldemort's headquarters?” Kinsgley asked, addressing the eldest Mr. Malfoy.

“That is correct.” Lucius stated simply with no hint of emotion in his voice.

“Well in that case it will need to be searched, thoroughly.” Kingsley replied. “We cannot allow you to go back there.”

“Naturally” came Lucius' voice, still sounding neutral about the whole affair. 

Draco was somewhat surprised by this. Although his father wasn’t giving anything away that wasn’t necessary, he did seem to be cooperating with the Minister. He supposed there was no point denying what the Minister clearly already knew, it would only make things worse. If Kingsley was surprised by this too he didn’t show it. He just carried on speaking to Lucius in the same steady manner as before.

“We cannot simply let you go freely elsewhere either, you all still have some explaining to do. There are people here who would have me send you directly to Azkaban, however, it is not in my nature to incarcerate people before a trial, whoever they may be. We must also take into consideration that there are known Death Eaters who have escaped today. If they believe you have… switched sides... they may wish to do you harm. So what I propose is that you will all be taken to a safe house where you will await your individual trials. I can assure you that you will be looked after and your trials will be fair all you need to do is cooperate with us. This is the best I can do for the moment” 

Lucius gave himself a moment to reflect before the same cool voice responded. “That sounds reasonable.” 

Draco was wondering what was really going on in the minds of the two men. They were both so calm and collected they could have been having a polite conversation about the weather for all their body language showed; they were ever the politicians, never giving anything away. Draco knew that the Minister had to do what was expected of him and had to please the rest of the ministry let alone the public but he couldn’t help wonder what this man really thought of the Malfoys. He couldn’t decide whether Shacklebolt wanted them to be punished for their crimes or whether he believed they were worthy of redemption. 

Kingsley looked at Lucius for a moment and then turned directly to Narcissa. Draco took this opportunity to cautiously glance over to his mother too, trying to gauge her reaction to this. At first his mother mirrored his father's somewhat hard expressionless exterior, but her eyes seemed to soften slightly under the Minister’s gaze and she bowed her head to him in acceptance. Kingsley then looked to Draco and Draco found himself at a loss for what to do. His trained mind knew he should stand tall and simply give a short sharp bow of the head as his father had done only minutes before, nothing more. 

Yet in that moment there was some small part of him that wanted to finally push his father’s wishes out of his head. He was exhausted, too tired to think, too tired to put on his mask. He wanted to break down and tell the man looking at him that he had never really had a choice, in any of this. That he had been forced to take the mark. That he had been threatened over and over again and pulled in every direction until he no longer knew his own mind, own wishes, own feelings. Then, just as he opened his mouth to speak, still unsure of what exactly he would say, he felt his father's eyes upon him too and his years of Malfoy upbringing came back to the forefront of his mind. He snapped his mouth shut and simply bowed his head to the Minister in the manner that he knew was expected of him.

The Minister kept his eyes on Draco a little longer as if he was debating speaking to him. Draco kept his head bowed avoiding eye contact until finally Kingsley looked back to Lucius and addressed him once more. 

“These are Aurors Proudfoot and Williamson” Kinglsey gestured to the two men behind him that Draco had forgotten were even there. They both took a step forward before the Minister continued. “They will take you to the safe house and keep watch over you. They will treat you fairly and ensure you have everything you need as long as you are civil to them and continue to obey the law. Someone from the Ministry will be in touch shortly, until then stay safe… and rest” 

Kingsley added after a short pause and a glance back over to Draco. Then he swiftly turned and walked back in the direction he came.

The older looking of the two aurors who Draco assumed to be Williamson from Kingsley’s earlier gesture stepped up to the family. He addressed Lucius formally although he wasn’t unfriendly. 

“We can apparate to the safe house from the boundary of the school grounds, Mr & Mrs Malfoy, follow me.” Williamson said before walking ahead to lead them through the remains of Great Hall and out the front of the school. 

Draco watched his father hold his arm out for his mother to hold. Then the pair of them followed the Auror out holding their heads high and keeping their expression ever neutral. Draco hesitated before following suit, his eyes glued to the ground as he ignored the glances that were now coming their way. The second Auror, Proudfoot, followed in step behind Draco.

Once they were out into the fresh air and away from the crowds Draco lifted his head to look around him at what he thought might be his last ever look at the school that had been his second home for the last seven years. As they walked across the ground Draco spotted a figure standing by the lake not so far away. He recognised him immediately having watched him so closely for all those years, yet, on the other hand this model of him was like a stranger to Draco. Potter was looking down into the surface of the water, just standing there. What was he doing down here alone and why did he look so lost, Draco wondered. He looked again and realised, he not only looked lost but he seemed completely broken. Draco could almost recognise how he himself was feeling in that dejected stance and emotionless face. He didn’t think he’d ever seen that look on Potter though and it confused him. In that moment he could almost have… compassion for this man before him but it must just be the situation unsettling him. 

The group had been drawing nearer to him and Potter was now aware he was no longer alone. Draco saw him look up at mother and father as they passed by him with Auror Williamson. No one said a word they just kept walking but Draco could feel himself slow down for some unknown reason as he continued to look at the green eyed figure before him. Suddenly those piercing green eyes were looking back at him. His parents had carried on and were now nearing the school boundary but for some reason Draco had stopped altogether and could feel Auror Proudfoot stop just behind him, waiting. For a while the two school boy rivals just stood looking at each other. Both seemed to have something to say but neither quite sure how to say it. They’d never spent this long standing opposite each other without yelling some sort of insult. Draco found it very unnerving and couldn’t look at this unfamiliar version of Potter anymore. He found his feet once more but as he started walking away he heard a voice call out to him.

“Malfoy, wait”

The voice was so familiar to him yet the tone of his name sounded so strange in it. It was spat out like a distasteful word as he had heard for the past seven years. It was… well just normal sounding he supposed, like anyone who wasn’t his arch nemesis would say it. Draco didn’t reply but he stopped anyway, turned slowly back round and waited to see what would happen. Potter cleared his throat and then nervously took a step towards him.

“I...err... don’t know what you’re doing now or… err... where you’re going but I... erm.... Well I have something of yours” 

Potter stuttered at first before rushing out the last of his sentence in one short breath. He anxiously ran his hand through the black mess of hair and scratched his head before glancing at the auror behind Draco. Then took something out his back jeans pocket and held it out to Draco. Draco looked at what Potter was holding out to him and gasped. He never thought he would see it again, he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed it. He glanced nervously at Proudfoot thinking that the auror would move to take it instead but Proudfoot merely nodded at him and even smiled. Filled with a sudden rush of confidence that he hadn’t felt all day Draco stepped forward and took his wand out of Potter’s hand. He couldn’t help but smile when he felt that familiar rush of magic course through him. 

Then he looked back at Potter and suddenly felt nervous again. His throat went dry but he managed to force out two small words in a whispered voice. “Thank you”

For what? What exactly was he thanking Potter for, Draco wondered. Just thank you for returning his wand? Thank you for saving his life in the room of requirement? Thank you for defeating his evil master and setting him free whilst saving the entire wizarding world? All of it? Draco felt like he should say more but he couldn’t bring himself to so instead he just looked at the wand in his hand.

“Erm, you’re welcome” came the somewhat surprised reply.

Upon hearing the surprised tone, Draco forced himself to look into those green eyes again. It occurred to him that he didn’t say thank-you often so Potter had probably never heard it. He was searching for something in those eyes, anything, that would tell him what Potter was thinking but he couldn’t read this Potter as well as he might have been able to in the past. 

So he asked in a quiet, humble voice that seemed unfamiliar even to him. “Why?”

Why is Potter returning his wand? Why did he save his life when he could have left him to burn? Why was he down here talking to him instead of with his friends in the castle and why did he look so lost? Were the words that Draco left unsaid.

Potter stumbled over his words as he replied. “Erm…well... I guess... it just... erm... felt like the right thing to do.” 

They stood a little while longer, grey eyes searching green eyes, neither one speaking both leaving so much unsaid but at the same time saying so much. The silence should have been awkward but somehow it wasn’t. Potter was the first one to break it this time though as he cleared his throat once again.

“Take care of yourself, Malfoy” looking at Draco and cracking the tiniest of smiles but a definite smile nonetheless.

Then just like that he walked away before Draco could even reply. Draco watched the boy who had been his enemy and head back towards the castle seemingly an enemy no more. Had they just made some sort of peace? He wasn’t a friend either but Draco couldn’t help but wonder what that smile meant. Maybe this wasn’t the end. Maybe this was the beginning after all, but the beginning of what?


	3. The Endless Wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco, Narcissa and Lucius get taken to a safe house to await their trials as the Ministry have an awful lot to sort out and they're not quite sure what to do with them yet.  
> We get more of an insight into the relationships between the Malfoys and how they are each coping. Plus we get to know Auror Proudfoot more.

The beginning of boredom it seemed as Draco lay in bed staring up at the now familiar sight of his bedroom ceiling waiting until it was an acceptable time to get up. He was reflecting once again on that last encounter with Potter and how… strange it had been. He was beginning to wonder if it had been real, but then he had his wand back so it must have been. He could feel it now underneath his pillow. Had Potter had ever slept with it under his pillow, he asked himself. 

It had been a month and two days since the final battle; he knew that because it was his birthday tomorrow. So much happened that day but nothing much had happened since, not for Draco anyway. He had allowed himself a small bit of hope when he realised that they weren’t being whisked straight off to Azkaban but he had quickly realised that they were in a prison of sorts regardless. He had no idea what was going on in the outside world. No one had given him a newspaper and certainly no one talked about it or asked questions. 

Draco wondered for the hundredth time about how life was now, for the others, the ‘heroes’. Were they grieving, were they celebrating? There must have been funerals but no one had invited them, who would want a Death Eater at a funeral? But after the funerals was there some sort of ceremony? And what were the golden trio doing now? They'd probably all been given an Order of Merlin, first class no doubt. Draco had spent so many years obsessing over Potter, what he was doing, where he was going, it was a hard habit to break... And that small smile that Potter had given him, what did that mean? He couldn’t help but replay that smile in his mind over and over, it was something he’d never seen from Potter, not directed at him anyway. 

“Take care of yourself, Malfoy” that’s what he had heard when he last looked into those emerald green eyes. Does that mean Potter actually cared about what was going to happen to him now? Probably not, Draco thought bitterly. If he cared then he would be trying to get him out of here, wouldn’t he? He probably could, he could ask the Ministry for anything he wanted now. The Chosen One would have anything he asked for given to him on a silver platter. 

What about his friends? Where were they now, Draco wondered. Were they even his friends still? Had they ever really been friends? He had spent most of his life just bossing them around, thinking he was above them, he knew that. He had never really treated them like friends. Except maybe Blaise, he wasn’t like the others. Surely Blaise would still care what happened to him, they had been close once. Blaise might possibly be the only true friend Draco had ever had, but then Draco had pushed him away. It had been for his own good, Draco told himself. He didn’t want Blaise to be caught up in the war, not when he didn’t have to be. But Blaise might not have realised that, of course, Draco had said some horrible things to him and to Theo too. 

He didn’t particularly want to see Pansy again, not after the way they left things but he did wonder where she was and if she was OK. No, Draco didn’t think he had any friends now and it serves him right. He had been awful to them, all of them, especially Greg and Vince. Ohh… Vincent. Did anyone recover his body? Did he have a funeral? Surely his Mother would have wanted one but then were they allowed? His father had been a Death Eater too so where was he now? And the others, Greg’s father and Theo’s what happened to them all. He had no idea. All he knew is that he was stuck here for the indefinite future. It seemed like no one wanted to deal with them, not Potter, not the Minister, not anyone. They were ‘safe’ here, out of everyone's way and the outside world could go on ignoring them. Maybe that’s what they were hoping would happen. There would never be a trial, and the Malfoy’s would just be left here to rot, not living just existing, forgotten.

The safe house, as it turned out, was a small three bedroom country cottage in the middle of nowhere. It had apparently been the home of Auror Williamson’s mother before she died. Draco wasn’t sure how long ago that was but it didn’t look like anyone had set foot in the house for years. Williamson had muttered some sort of apology when they had first arrived saying they hadn’t really had any notice and this was the only place they could think of. Then he had immediately set about casting cleaning charms all over the place clearing away the thick layer of dust that settled over every surface. Leo got his wand out but seemed a bit useless with cleaning charms. Narcissa had started directing him a bit and making suggestions. This surprised Draco as he wasn’t aware his mother knew any household charms, the house elves had always taken care of everything before.

After about twenty minutes or so though, she had declared a headache and had gone to lie down. During this time Proudfoot had lit the fire to try and get some warmth back into the stone cottage and then set about making everyone some tea. Lucius still didn’t have a wand so couldn’t really help even if he’d wanted to, which Draco doubted. He’d simply sat straight down in a tub chair by the fireplace and stared into it as if he was on an important floo call with somebody. It was only when he started protesting how uncomfortable the old armchair was that anyone remembered he was there. Williamson had then transfigured it to a black leather wing-back on Lucius’ strict instruction just to shut him up.

The worn-out man had stayed sitting in his new chair for the rest of the evening refusing any tea or making an effort at any conversation. Williamson had gone off to sort the bedrooms out, transfiguring, cleaning and conjuring furniture until the place was at least habitable for the five of them. Lucius and Narcissa had the main double bedroom, whilst the two aurors shared the middle twin room opposite and Draco had the single box room down the hall next to the only bathroom. 

Williamson himself has assigned the rooms that night before sitting down at the small kitchen table with Proudfoot, each with a big cup of tea. Draco hadn’t really known what to do as he didn’t really feel welcome or useful anywhere so he had simply taken the cosy little window seat at the other end of the sitting room from the fireplace that looked out onto the back garden and watched the sun go down. Before too long Williamson had announced that he was taking the night guard shift and that everyone else should get some sleep.

That had pretty much been the way of things for the past four weeks now. His mother seemed to have constant headaches and spent the majority of the time in the bedroom with the curtains drawn. Every now and then Draco would take a cup of steaming lemon and honey water to her and would sit on the bed for a bit. Sometimes they would be at other ends of the bed just sitting there awkwardly, other times he would curl up besides her and occasionally she would hold him in her arms like she did when he was little but they never really talked. 

Draco worried about her, she seemed just as lost as him but neither knew how to comfort the other. He knew she had lost her sister Draco could tell that she was sad about that in a way. Narcissa was mourning the young girl she had once loved, not the cruel crazy woman she had become but whatever she had been, she was still family. Although Draco could not pretend he was sad about her death to be honest. When the others were around Narcissa would put on her Malfoy mask but there, in that room Draco could see how frail she was. He wondered if his father had even noticed.

Lucius spent a lot of time sitting in that same black chair by the fireplace reading. He had given Proudfoot a list of books he wanted from Malfoy family library and the list had obviously passed ministry inspection as they had been brought over the next day by one of the aurors conducting the search of Malfoy Manor. Lucius had also asked for (or demanded) a desk to be set up where the window seat had been with some parchment and quills, consequently turning the only sitting room into his private study and not really giving his son anywhere to sit. What exactly he was studying Draco had no idea but he didn’t feel particularly inclined to ask. 

One evening he had seen Auror Williamson poking about the desk and searching the drawers while Lucius was in the bathroom but as nothing had been said Draco could only assume that Williamson had been satisfied with what he had seen. They had no owl and no one left to correspond with after all but even so Draco wondered what his father needed to write. Maybe the man was just trying to pretend he was still the important aristocrat he once was. Most likely he was trying to keep himself busy and that was understandable, but what could Draco do to keep busy and out of his father's way?

Draco’s room was tiny, it consisted of a single bed, a bedside table with a lamp and a small wardrobe. Certainly not what he was used to. Some basics had been sent over by the aurors from the Manor such as clothes and a few of Draco’s old school books but there was nothing in them to really interest him and he found the four walls of his room very depressing. He was pretty much forced to be in there from ten o’clock at night until seven o’clock in the morning. Williamson always took the night guard shift; he took his duty very seriously and didn't like Draco wandering about. Draco never slept anymore, when he slept the nightmares came and he would wake shaking and shivering screams replaying in his head, sometimes his own, sometimes those of others. It would always take him a few minutes to remember that the war is over and he wouldn’t be forced to torture anyone today or be tortured himself -not physically anyway. 

At first he kept himself awake trying to picture what his future would look like and imagining what he would do if he was free to do whatever he wanted but then he realised that this was just a different way torturing himself so he stopped. He tried counting Hippogriffs but that just reminded him of third year, so he tried counting dragons but that reminded him of fourth year. It seemed to Draco now that every memory he had was painful now even the ones that were once happy as they just made him wonder if he could ever be happy again. Yes, night time was definitely his left favourite time of the day.

His second least favourite time was dinner. The two aurors took separate shifts, Proudfoot being awake during the day and Williamson at night and breakfast was a bit hit and miss with Lucius normally taking it as his desk and his mother usually skipping it altogether. So dinner was about the only time the five inhabitants of this little cottage were all in the same place at the same time and the atmosphere was tense. Probably because no one ever discussed the reason why they were all forced around this tiny kitchen table together. They seemed to all pretend that this was out of choice like some bizarre holiday. 

Williamson always did the cooking as he said he used to cook meals for his mother and no one else had volunteered. The food was basic and nothing like the meals Draco had once been used to having always had his food prepared by house elves, but it did the job as he never had much of an appetite anymore anyway. The conversation was always awkward and strained. Lucius only spoke when someone asked him a direct question and even then he always responded in a stiff, formal manner with the minimum number of words he could get away with. 

Narcissa was a little warmer and would sometimes ask the aurors polite but friendly questions about themselves as she would have done when getting to know strangers at a dinner party, nothing too personal. Williamson would always answer in an equally polite and friendly way but never gave too much away. Proudfoot however seemed quite happy to talk about himself, not in a conceited way but in an open and engaging manner often sharing anecdotes about what he and his little sisters got up to when they were younger. No one ever asked about the trial and certainly no one ever mentioned the war.

Proudfoot tried his best to engage Draco in the conversation during the first week asking him things about his childhood but Draco never seemed to quite know what to say. He would usually hesitate too long and then his mother would end up talking on his behalf saying things that like “oh no Draco would never have done that, he was always such a good little boy”. Draco wasn’t really sure that was true but he wouldn’t contradict his mother, besides thinking about his childhood was as painful as thinking about everything else nowadays. One particular evening, however a couple of weeks ago things slowly started to change. Proudfoot had asked Draco a question that he could find an answer to.

“So Draco,'' Proudfoot has always called him Draco as it was easier than constantly clarifying which Mr. Malfoy he was talking to. “I saw you looking in the greenhouse today. Do you like Herbology?”

It was true, Draco had been looking in the greenhouse. Since his father occupied the sitting room and Draco hated being coped up in his room, he had taken to wandering in the garden. He found that the fresh air helped clear his mind and he didn’t dwell on his rather depressing thoughts as much. The small cottage had rather a comparatively large garden with lots of pots and flowers beds and one greenhouse. Although the greenhouse had long been abandoned, Draco thought that Mrs Williamson must have been a bit of a herbologist herself when she was alive as it was a decent size. Although Draco perhaps wondered now whether he had been wrong to wander into it and glanced over at the older auror sitting at the table. Williamson seemed to sense this as he spoke up.

“Quite alright by me if you were Mr. Malfoy.” The older auror was a bit more formal than Proudfoot and he didn’t spend as much time around the family due to the fact he mostly took the night guard duty. “Feel free to explore all the garden has to offer as long as you can still be seen from the house.” 

Draco relaxed a bit and looked back at Proudfoot. “Well Potions has always been my favourite but of course adequate knowledge of plants is beneficial to this subject” 

“Yes Draco has always been highly proficient in Potions especially but very good across all his subjects of course.” Narcissa spoke up proudly. 

“Well I always liked Herbology, maybe you and I could take a proper look at the greenhouse tomorrow. If you wanted? Perhaps we could spruce it up a bit” Said Proudfoot.

“I actually think I might like that” Draco answered truthfully, thinking for the first time in a while he had something to look forward to, even if it was a dirty old greenhouse.

His father snorted but mercifully was still remaining silent, Draco didn’t really want to hear a lecture about how Malfoys shouldn’t be working in greenhouses. After all, what else did his father expect him to do here? He was bored out of his bloody mind. 

After that evening things had improved somewhat for Draco. Proudfoot had found some of Mrs Williamson’s old Herbology books in the sitting room and the two of them had set about tidying up the greenhouse and re-potting some plants that had just about survived. Draco never really liked getting his hands dirty before, once upon a time he would have labelled this as servants work but now he just found himself grateful for something to do. He was slightly surprised when the auror had started working alongside him but then Draco wondered if he was just as bored as the rest of them, after all he was stuck in this house too and with a bunch of Death Eaters no less. 

After this rare feeling of compassion Draco decided to be a bit friendlier to the man. He even felt somewhat grateful to him for providing him with a distraction. Feelings of compassion and gratitude didn’t usually come easy to Draco but at least he was feeling something instead of just feeling empty for a change. They chatted a little whilst they worked and somehow the conversation was easier when they were out of the cramped house and in the fresh air.

The next day they had begun working again straight after breakfast and had soon established a bit of a routine. By the end of that week the greenhouse was looking quite presentable and Draco had found himself tolerating Auror Proudfoot’s company quite well. They started working on the flower beds the following week and Draco was able to revive some flowers using the spells in the book. He had started picking some of the more brightly coloured ones and putting them on his mother’s tea tray. This seemed to slowly start cheering her up and gave them something to talk about when he visited her. Slowly he started to encourage her to come out of the bedroom during the day and see the flowers for herself. Even his father looked up from his desk when he saw Narcissa up and about a bit more and gradually the atmosphere in this little house became a bit more tolerable for everyone. 

The nights were still hard, as proven right now with Draco still staring at his bedroom ceiling but he was used to surviving on very little sleep now. He hadn’t really had a full nights sleep since the end of 5th year. He was able to at least feel some peace during the day now and things were definitely becoming easier. At least he had someone to talk to. He found conversation flowed well between him and Auror Proudfoot now. The man had even asked Draco to start using his first name which he found rather amusing. Even though he insisted on being called Leo, Proudfoot’s full name was Leonardo, which Draco knew from his childhood Italian lessons meant ‘brave lion’. It didn’t take a Ravenclaw to figure out what house Leo and both his parents had been in during their Hogwarts days. Could you believe it, the man Draco was just starting to enjoy the company of was a bloody Gryffindor of all things. Whatever next?! 

The conversation they shared two days ago came to mind as Draco once again tried to process his thoughts and feelings on the matter.

“Leo...” Draco had started before pausing, he hadn’t really been sure how to ask what he wanted to know. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Leo simply shrugged “Why wouldn’t I be?” as if he didn’t really understand what Draco was getting at. Or maybe he did but he didn’t want to talk about it. 

What was Draco getting at? Sometimes he wanted to know Leo’s thoughts on the war and how he felt now being forced to guard Death Eaters day in day out, but then he thought it was best not to know. No one talked about the war or the reason they were here and Draco certainly wasn’t going to be the one who brought it up. So instead Draco played it down.

“Well you’re a Gryffindor and I’m a Slytherin. Typically, in my experience anyway, they don’t really get on.” 

Leo laughed at this which Draco found himself smiling at. Laughter wasn’t something he had heard much of these past few years, unless you counted the manic laughter of a psychopath. Leo didn’t reply straight away, he let Draco’s words sink in a bit, thinking them over before answering.

“Look, Draco... when you’re at school houses matter I get that. Hell, I certainly didn’t have any Slytherin friends at Hogwarts and yeh... most of them I’ve worked with at the Ministry aren’t great... but I work with some Gryffindors that are right prats too!” He let out another little chuckle before his expression turned a bit more serious.

“I guess, what I’m trying to say is, in the real world you learn to make your mind up about people yourself, not judge them based on what some old hat thinks they’re like at 11. I’m an auror, I know how to read people, it’s part of my job and... from what I’ve seen, you’re alright.”

That was the trouble though wasn’t it? Leo hadn’t seen much. He didn’t know what Draco had done. If he truly knew he wouldn’t be this friendly. Out there in the ‘real world’ as Leo put it, there were people that did know what Draco had done, who he was and Draco didn’t think they’d be as nice to him or his family. 

Hours had passed now with Draco deep in thought but he was beginning to feel restless once again. He thought he had heard Leo get up and that was usually around 7 so he could let Williamson get some sleep. There were definitely faint voices coming from the kitchen now so Draco took this to mean he could finally get up. His stomach was rumbling so he didn’t waste time showering, simply casting a cleansing spell on himself before getting dressed. He went into the kitchen to find both aurors hunched over some rather official looking paperwork on the kitchen table in a rather hushed and important looking conversation. When they saw him enter they suddenly turned the paperwork face down and straightened up. The two Ministry men exchanged a rather nervous look with each other before Leo looked up and spoke.

“Draco, perhaps you could go and wake your parents and bring them here. There is something we need to discuss with you all.”

Draco, feeling suddenly sick and all thoughts about breakfast were forgotten. He couldn’t find his voice so he simply nodded and swiftly turned back the way he came. Moments later he was following his mother and father back to the kitchen and they all sat down around the table. The senior Malfoys had their calm exterior back on display and somehow Draco found the courage to put his mask on too and face the inevitable. 

Williamson cleared his throat and then spoke in a rather official Ministry sounding voice.  
“We’ve just heard, your trials are all taking place tomorrow morning.”


	4. The Longest Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of the Malfoy's trials at the Ministry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying my take on Draco's character so far and piecing together what I think 'would have happened' during and after the battle.  
> *~*  
> I know the whole 'Harry giving back Draco's wand and then speaking at his trial' thing has kind of been done to death but I always like seeing people's different interpretations on it so hope you like mine. I wanted to write the trial in full and not just gloss over it. Also I do think there are some differences with this story coming up.  
> Please stick with this it and give it time, there is soooo much more to come! (although if you don't like long fics and slow burns then this probably isn’t for you!)  
> It does take a while to get going as I just really wanted to let the readers inside Draco's head and detail his summer before we get to Hogwarts. Be patient with me please, I promise it's worth it! Or I hope so anyway!!  
> *~*  
> Let me know what you think so far, I love comments! <3  
> *~*

Draco’s night had been even worse than normal and he hadn’t thought that was possible. He had spent the time going through every likely outcome of the trials that were about to take place. The only good thing he could possibly think of was that it had been the last night of staring at that same ceiling. Tonight he might be looking up the ceiling of an Azkaban cell. Well, at least it would be a change of scenery, he thought miserably. Today, after weeks of refusing to think about it, he would finally be finding out his fate and that of his parents. Typical that the trial would be on his bloody birthday. 

Currently he was sitting in a holding cell at the Ministry with his mother next to him and his father on the bench opposite. Two aurors that Draco didn't recognise were stationed at the door and he didn’t know where Leo or Auror Williamson were. They were probably glad to be rid of the Malfoys and having a bit of a break. Draco wondered if he’d ever see Leo again. They weren’t friends exactly, he knew that but he’d been glad of the man’s company and he begrudgingly admitted that he might miss it. He wasn’t sure when the next time he might see a friendly face would be after today.

Breakfast had been tense and silent this morning, even more so than usual. Draco had forced himself to eat a few mouthfuls of toast as he wasn’t sure where his next meal would come from, but it hadn’t done this sick feeling in his stomach any favours. The two aurors that had been their guardians for just over a month had escorted them to the Ministry about an hour ago, introduced them to an Auror Savage and then left without a word. Savage had taken the three of them to this holding cell and they hadn’t seen anyone since. 

Draco had no idea what to expect from the trial, no one had briefed him or explained anything. If either of his parents knew more than he did they hadn’t told him so there was nothing he could do to prepare. His father was sitting up straight, tight lipped as usual and showing no signs of nerves. His mother was, if anything, even worse. She was sitting with her hands in her lap and a forced polite smile on her face as if she was simply waiting at the salon for her routine appointment. Draco resorted to distracting himself by thinking about how he spent his birthdays in the past but the last few hadn’t exactly been happy.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. The door opened and Auror Savage stood before them. He glared at all three of them menacingly, as if deliberately letting the family know that not all the aurors were going to be as civil to them as Proudfoot and Williamson had been. 

He then directed his attention to Lucius. “Mr. Malfoy, your trial is about to begin if you’d like to follow me.”

Both his mother and his father immediately stood up.

“Lucius-” Narcissa began as she abandoned her forced smile and held her hands out to her husband, but she didn’t seem to know what else to say. Lucius took her hands briefly and looked into her eyes. He gave her the tiniest soft smile that you could have easily missed had you blinked at that moment. Then he dropped her hands and the mask was firmly back on his face. He took one quick look at Draco, before turning and swiftly walked out the door. 

Narcissa left out the breath she had been holding and sat back down on the metal bench, her mask was not back in place yet across her face and Draco could see now how worried she really was.. Draco scooted over to be close to her and took her hand in his. He wanted to tell her that it would be alright but he couldn’t bring himself to say it but he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and she seemed to understand this. There were a family of few words after all. 

Despite this, his mother turned to face him and said quietly “He loves you, you know. He doesn’t say it but it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. We both love you Draco.”

Draco didn’t really know how to respond to that statement. Love wasn’t something they ever talked about. He could probably count on his hands the number of times his mother said she loved him, even though he believed it to be true. His father though… well that was... different. Lucius had never once told Draco that he loved him. He supposed he should have said that he loved them too, or at least her, but somehow even forming the words in his head left a bitter taste in his mouth. He wasn’t sure why but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. 

They sat in silence for a while but they were close and still provided comfort to one another. In a surprisingly short amount of time, Auror Savage was back, and he seemed to be in a worse mood than before. His mother took to her feet again and Draco was only a second behind her. They were waiting for news but the auror gave nothing away. He simply looked at Narcissa and spoke in the same sharp tone as before.

“Mrs. Malfoy, it is now time for your trial if you’d like to follow me.”

His mother hadn’t taken a step yet and Draco found himself speaking before he’d even realised it.

“Wait” Draco stepped forward in a commanding manner which took even himself by surprise. “What about my father. Where is he? What happened?” He asked in a voice that sounded much more confident he felt.

“You will be made aware of the previous trial decisions when it is time for yours Mr Malfoy, and not before.” Auror Savage barked back as he took a step forward towards Draco in a dominating way. “Now, sit. back. down.” He spat each of the last three words out harshly. 

The two men glared at each other for a moment, neither one moving until Narcissa had composed herself and swiftly took charge of the situation.

”Draco dear” she said in a soft but still authoritative voice “It will be ok, do as he says.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and walked out of the room with her head held high.

Draco was then left in the room by himself. He stood there for a moment trying to process the little information he had. The trial had been over so quickly, which probably meant they had already made their minds up. It’s likely they hadn’t even given his father an opportunity to speak for himself and certainly no one else would have defended him, Draco was certain of that. Did that mean his father was already on his way to Azkaban. Draco hadn’t even been given the chance to say goodbye to him, but then what would he have said? Their relationship was… strained, complicated, but Draco still didn’t want the man in prison... again. He’d come out looking awful last time and it had scared him. 

Draco had started pacing backwards and forwards in the holding cell thinking. Savage had definitely been in a worse mood when he had come back from his father’s trial and that was confusing. He had the impression the man hated them all so he should have been happy if his father’s trial went as badly as Draco feared. Suddenly, in no time at all just when Draco was trying to understand the man, there he was again opening the door. Draco was shocked, his mother’s trial can’t be over already, can it? Where was she now? The auror didn’t give Draco any time to ask though.

“It’s your turn now, it seems. Follow me” He said quickly.

As Draco entered the courtroom he could feel all the eyes of the Wizengamot upon him. They were all sitting in a semicircle at the front of the room and in the middle of them all was a high box where the Minister himself, Kingsley Shacklebolt sat. Savage was stood by another box opposite Kinglsey but on the ground level and gestured to Draco clearly wanting him to take a seat in it. Draco felt numb and he wasn’t sure his legs were working anymore but after a little prod in the back by one of the other aurors he found himself walking forwards and taking a seat. 

It was only then that he noticed the benches around the circular room weren’t entirely empty as Draco thought there might be. Most of them were but he could see a small group of people sitting together out of the corner of his right eye. He also had a sense there was someone behind him but he didn’t dare look round. No doubt they were here to testify about all the horrible things Draco had said and done and he knew he wouldn’t be able to look then in the eye. So instead he just looked straight ahead and focused on the man who would be leading this trial.

The Minister, as he had seemingly now been officially selected, looked at Draco in a professional way. It wasn’t quite the cold look Draco had been expecting, there was a hint of warmth there maybe, behind the eyes, an understanding perhaps and Draco felt himself relax a tiny bit when he heard Shacklebolt’s smooth voice.

“Mr. Malfoy. You are here today so we can assess the true nature of your actions during the events of the second wizarding war. No doubt that the members of the Wizengamot here have heard some… troubling… stories but I promised you a fair trial and I intend to keep to that so we are eager to hear your version of things”

Draco wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, at least he would be allowed to defend himself if no one else would but then he wasn’t really sure what defence he could muster. He didn’t really have time to think about it though before the Minister started his questions.

“Could you please confirm for us all that you do in fact bear the Dark Mark on your left forearm?”

Draco immediately tensed up and he could almost feel the mark burning into his skin at that moment, although it didn’t really burn anymore, it hadn’t since that day. He never looked at it, keeping his arms covered in long sleeves at all times. Even in the shower he avoided touching it. He never allowed himself to think about it even though he could never forget it was there.

“Yes, I do.” he said quietly in an expressionless tone, looking down at the ground, unable now to meet anyone’s eye.

Kingsley continued on unsurprised by this. 

“Is it correct that Lord Voldemort-” Draco flinched. “-forced you to take the mark after the events at the Ministry in your fifth year at Hogwarts when your father was sentenced to Azkaban? You were to take your father’s place as Death Eater in punishment for his failed attempt to follow Voldemort's orders?”

Draco was so surprised that the second mention of the Dark Lord's name just glossed over him. The word ‘forced’ hadn’t gone unnoticed by him and that last question had really been more of a statement. How did the Minister know all this? Draco was lost for words, Shacklebolt had left it open for him to say that he had been forced and threatened into all of it. That he never chose to carry the mark, never gave his service willingly. This wasn’t what he expected at all. How did he respond to this? It was the truth but somehow it didn’t feel right. He’d still been on the wrong side of the war, he didn’t deserve to go unpunished. He still carried so much guilt with him, part of him wanted to be punished.

The Minister seemed to sense Draco’s moral dilemma.

“Draco” he spoke softly this time and Draco was surprised by the abandonment of more formal terms. “From the statements we have heard in this courtroom today, you were 16, underage, your father was in prison and your mother’s safety was in doubt and you were threatened, forced to take the mark. Is that correct?”

Statements? What statements? Had someone already spoken up for him? He then heard a tiny cough from behind him and he turned his head over his left shoulder to finally see who was there. His heart skipped a beat. His mother was there, listening to every word, supporting him in the small way that she could. She looked unharmed and, well, free from what he could tell. She must have spoken for him in her trial, he realised. He should have known his mother would have defended him if given the chance, and suddenly he felt her earlier statement that she did, in fact, love him. She was giving him a soft warm smile now silently telling him that everything really would be ok. He hadn’t believed her earlier, but now, maybe he could. 

He looked around to his left a little more but noted the absence of his father. He had known it really, he could always usually sense when his father was in the room, those grey eyes that he shared would always be upon him in silent judgment. This must mean that his trial hadn’t gone as well as his mothers. He wasn’t surprised or upset by this really. He didn’t really feel anything at all but he couldn’t help wondering if the statements the Minister mentioned had also come from his father. Would he have spoken up for Draco? 

He had gone too long without saying anything and Kingsley gave him a verbal nudge.

“Mr Malfoy” back to his professional tone “Do you disagree with anything that has been said so far or are these statements correct?”

“Er no… that is to say... I don’t disagree.” He stumbled in a most ‘un-Malfoyish’ way. He cleared his throat and gathered himself before sitting a little straighter. Nothing for it, he decided. “All the information presented thus far is correct.” He declared.

“Very well, it has been established that you became a Death Eater through force not by choice. On this, I think the Wizengamot can all agree” Kingsley stated and there were various encouraging nods from the benches surrounding him. “We have also received two written character statements from Auror Williamson and Auror Proudfoot on your conduct over the past four weeks that will now be passed around.” 

There was movement to his right where Draco hadn’t dared to look yet but when he did so now he saw the two aurors who had brought them all there that morning were in fact still here and were now standing up. Williamson wasn’t looking at Draco but was sending sheets of paper to every member of the Wizengamot with a lazy flick of his wand. Leo, however, had actually winked at him and had a crafty little smile on his face! Did he know something Draco did not? Was this another sign that things may turn out better than he had hoped for?

Draco noticed now that there were a couple more people sitting behind the Aurors but as they were still standing he couldn’t see much. Just a big pointy black hat but not who it belonged to and a figure sitting next to them but they were obviously a bit on the short side whoever they were. Before he could dwell on it too much his attention was drawn back to the Minister so had just finished looking over the document.

“Yes, this is very positive, Mr.Malfoy. It appears you have conducted yourself well thus far.”

This really was going too well, Draco thought as Kingsley paused.

“However” Ah, here we go, Draco had a funny feeling this would be where things took a turn for the worse and his suspicions were confirmed as soon as the minister resumed. “There is still the matter concerning the night of Albus Dumbledore’s death to be discussed.” 

Draco suddenly felt sick and he could feel the tension in the room increase tenfold as various members of the Wizengamot took sharp breaths or started muttering to themselves. Auror Savage was probably smiling now, Draco was pleased he couldn’t see his face. 

“Professor Dumbledore died at Hogwarts on the evening of the 30th June 1997. However there are some events of that night that are yet to be clarified. There were Death Eaters in the castle that night Mr. Malfoy. Could you please inform the court how it is that they came to be in the school grounds.” Kingsley asked, looking directly at Draco.

This was the question Draco had been dreading, he was guilty of this at the very least and this alone is enough to send him to Azkaban. There was no point denying it, he didn’t have to protect his mother anymore and he could not run from the truth. He wasn’t sure he had the energy to lie even if he was inclined to do so. He hung his head, and spoke clearly but quietly.

“I let them in. It was via a vanishing cabinet in the room of requirement at Hogwarts school. I spent a lot of time during my sixth year there repairing it. The other was at Borgin and Burkes, they formed a passage.” He said, defeated. More muttering of the Wizengamot broke out.

“I see. We will of course be searching the shop in question and taking into custody the shop owners themselves if they indeed cooperated with this. Now would you care to explain why you let Death Eaters into the castle and how Albus Dumbledore died?” The Minister said in such a direct manner that Draco found himself stunned once again.

He opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t know where to start, what to say. 

“I… I…” he stuttered, not knowing how to get the words outs. He knew he didn’t actually kill the Headmaster in the end but he might as well have. He should have done it but he had failed, yet that didn’t dissolve the guilt he felt surrounding it.

“No matter, Mr Malfoy. I know this must be difficult for you” Shacklebolt seemed to have that tone of understanding back in his voice again but he had cut Draco off quite quickly, It was as though he didn’t want to give Draco the chance to speak. He carried on. “We have a witness who can give us the details.” The Minister’s voice called out. 

Draco felt panicked now. A witness? Who could they mean? What was going on? Movement to his right caught his attention once more and as Draco turned to look his heart seemed to stop beating all together. He was looking at a short young wizard with messy black hair, bright green eyes behind round glasses and that telltale lightning bolt scar.  
Then he realised why that black pointy hat next to the wizard looked so familiar too, he should have known.  
This could not be good.


	5. The Unlikely Saviours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of Draco's trial.

Potter was here, at his trial and with Professor McGonagall of all people. Two of Dumbledore’s closest allies, of course they would be here to get justice for the old man. Snape couldn’t be punished, he was dead, so their vengeance would fall on Draco. Potter would have put it all together no doubt, interfering git that he was. Of course it would be Draco’s bad luck that his pathetic assassination attempts at the Headmaster would land on Potter’s best friend and a member of his Quidditch team. No doubt he was about to tell the court about the necklace and the bottle of mead and there would be no coming back from that for Draco. 

The Minister's voice resounded round the courtroom once more. “Mr. Potter, are you here to testify for or against Mr. Malfoy?”

As if that needed clarification! Draco thought bitterly to himself as Potter rose to his feet and addressed the Wizengamot. Potter spoke in a clear, flat, rehearsed sort of way, not stumbling like he usually does under pressure.

“I, Harry James Potter, am here to testify for Mr. Draco Malfoy.” 

What?! Draco’s face whipped round to look at Potter and he was so shocked that his Malfoy mask slipped right off. He knew that his surprise would be evident on his face and he was grateful that Potter seemed to be avoiding his gaze. Clearly, Draco wasn’t the only wasn’t the only one taken aback by this, mutterings had broken out amongst the Wizengamot once more and a few other surprised faces had turned to look at the Chosen One. Why would he of all people testify in Draco’s favour and what evidence could he possibly have?

His question was about to be asked it seemed as the Minister took control of the courtroom once more.

“What is the evidence in Mr. Malfoy’s favour that you think we should hear Mr. Potter?”

“I was there that night on the Astronomy tower when Professor Dumbledore died. I have other knowledge of Mr. Malfoy’s actions too and I believe I can form a decent picture of his intentions throughout the war and I trust that my word can be believed now in this courtroom” 

Draco was beyond stunned now. He simply could not process or indeed believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t have been there that night, there was no way. Draco had been alone with Professor Dumbledore at the top of that tower until the other Death Eaters turned up. No one could have witnessed their conversation could they? He would have known. But then Potter did have a habit of being places and knowing things he shouldn’t… 

Then it struck him. Of course, that bastard had an invisibility cloak. So it was possible… but if ‘The Saviour’ had been there the whole time then why didn’t he intervene? Say something, do something! The idiot was a man of action who reacted on instinct, this Draco knew. That foolish Gryffindor ‘bravery’ would have kicked in so maybe Potter was making it up, but then why would he do that? Draco was more confused than ever now but his thoughts were once again interrupted by the man leading this trial.

“Of course, Mr. Potter, your word carries more merit than most here. We shall trust what you have to say so please share your evidence with us.” The Minister spoke addressing the ‘Golden Boy’ as that was the part Potter seemed eager to play today. 

“Very well. I shall speak plainly. We have already heard from the testimony of Mrs. Malfoy stated earlier today Draco Malfoy was given the task of killing Professor Dumbledore by Lord Voldemort during his sixth year at Hogwarts.”

Draco blinked several times in surprise yet again. So that had already come out in his mother’s trial? He really wished they would stop using his name though. Draco knew it was stupid, pathetic really, he was dead, he couldn’t hurt him anymore, but that name still haunts him.

Potter carried on his speech undeterred.

“Mrs. Malfoy was naturally, as she said before, upset about this task being given to her underage son and approached the only person she could think to help, Draco’s godfather Severus Snape who also happened to be a Death Eater and stationed at Hogwarts as a professor. We heard earlier that she made an unbreakable vow with Professor Snape that he should assist Malfoy, I mean, Mr. Malfoy, in any way he could and ultimately take on the task himself should Mr. Malfoy fail.”

Potter spoke these words like they were rehearsed and that he already knew them to be true but there was no way he could have known that. He must have just found that out during his mother’s testimony moments before Draco’s trial. How did he have time to prepare such a speech, Potter was not normally good with words. It all added to Draco’s bewildered state at this turn of events but Potter was far from done and the Wizengamot were hanging on every word. Potter continued but he was slightly quieter now, Draco noticed. 

“As I said, I was there that night… I saw it.” He paused, his tone was less assertive now, more reflective and he seemed to forget the formalities of his testimony as he carried on. “Malfoy raised his wand to the Headmaster that night but I saw the lack of conviction on his face. He was scared, following orders from a… a maniac… that was threatening him and his family. Whatever Malfoy is… he’s not a murderer and Dumbledore knew so too, he told Malfoy that and he offered him a chance to come to the right side, he offered him protection and… I think… Malfoy might have taken it. He lowered his wand anyway, that’s… important but then the Death Eaters arrived. Bellatrix, Snape… and others, and… well Snape d-did it.” Potter’s voice went so quiet at the end there, trailing off. 

The rest of the courtroom was silent. Potter was looking at the floor but he stood up tall again once Professor McGonagall placed a small hand on his shoulder in encouragement. Draco watched, still stunned into silence, as Potter regained his composure, acting the Ministry’s golden boy once more.

“I have more evidence on Professor Snape’s actions and intentions that aren’t relevant to this trial but the Minister and I shall be clarifying his involvement in the war at a later date even if he... is no longer with us. But I will confirm that Professor Snape killed Dumbledore, not Mr Malfoy and I do not see why Mr. Malfoy should be punished for failing to fulfil Lord Voldemort’s orders.” 

For a while now, nobody but Potter had spoken but the Wizengamot were turning to one another and whispering to themselves once more. Draco could see a few nodding heads again and it seemed like they were in agreement. He could not believe that Potter had spoken out for him like this. He would have to ask his mother later if this had all really happened. This is certainly not what he expected. 

Potter claiming that he shouldn’t be punished. He hadn’t even mentioned Weasley or that Bell girl, why was he doing this? He still couldn’t believe that he had seemingly heard every word of the conversation between himself and the Headmaster that night. And what did he mean about clarifying Snape’s involvement? Draco couldn’t wrap his head around any of this. He must still be dreaming. Finally, Shacklebolt, who Draco had temporarily forgotten was even here, spoke out again.

“Thank you for clarifying the events for us further Mr. Potter and your account does indeed tally with the testimony we have already heard from Mrs. Malfoy.” The Minister said before turning his attention back to Draco once more. 

“Mr Malfoy. Do you agree with Mr. Potter’s version of events for the evening in question?”

Draco had forgotten he’d need to speak again at some point. His calculated Slytherin mind usually tried to stay one step ahead thinking of his next move but it had been impossible here. His head was still spinning trying to make sense of it all and his throat was dry. Somehow, Potter’s tale was accurate, he supposed, so there wasn’t really anything else to say. Draco couldn’t think of anything other than his one word response which he just about managed to croak out. 

“Y-yes” 

“Excellent. Mr. Potter, do you have anything else to add before you conclude your witness testimony?” Kingsley said in a rather chipper voice which further confused Draco. 

He had stolen glances at Potter this whole time, looking at his body language, listening to his voice, trying to understand him as he had done so often in the past but until now Potter had been ignoring him. He had either been looking straight at Kingsley as he spoke or down at his own feet, however, this time he turned that scruffy black head of hair in Draco’s direction and the two made eye contact for the first time during this trial. Looking straight at him Potter simply said

“Yes. Draco Malfoy also saved my life during the war and those of Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger.” Audible gasps around the courtroom followed before Potter continued, this time addressing the Wizengamot for the first time. 

“During our time on the run, before the final battle, we were captured by snatchers. They suspected who I was but Her- Miss Granger had shot a stinging hex at me disfiguring my face significantly. I was taken to Malfoy Manor where Mr. Malfoy was spending his Easter holidays. They knew he would still be able to identify me. Malfoy looked straight in my eyes that day and I know he recognised me and he would have definitely been able to recognise Miss Granger and Mr Weasley as their appearances hadn’t been altered.” Draco was holding his breath, he hadn’t known until that moment that Potter knew. 

“Mr. Malfoy had the opportunity then to hand us all, myself included, over to Voldemort. He could have brought back honour to his family name in the eyes of their master, he could have taken the direction of the war in a very different way so easily but he didn’t. He lied to his father and to Bellatrix, the real Death Eaters and said he couldn’t be sure it was me, that it was us. This allowed me and my friends time to escape. In that moment, he made a decision about what side he was on. He stopped me from being handed to Voldemort. That there is your proof of where Draco Malfoy really stood in this war.” 

Silence followed. Potter, having ended his little speech somewhat, dramatically, turned to look at Draco once more and their eyes locked for the second time. There was an air of finality to his words, spoken like the true Saviour of the Wizarding World, that no one would dare argue with. Draco seemed to just be in a permanent state of shock now. He knew he was staring back at Potter but he couldn’t bring himself not to. 

In that moment it was just the two of them in that room both trying to understand one another, both thinking for so long that they had been on different sides of the war yet, seemingly, that illusion had just shattered. Did Potter really believe the words he was saying? But then why would he say them? Potter turned to look back at the Minister which is when Draco vaguely realised he was speaking again, conducting the trial once more.

“Well there we have it ladies and gentlemen of the Wizengamot. I shall now summarise what we know of Mr. Malfoy's actions and indeed intentions. We have established that Mr. Malfoy does carry the Dark Mark but was not a follower of Lord Voldemort by choice. I shall remind you that he was underage at the time. Coerced by his father, forced and threatened by Voldemort himself and his other, more loyal, more... willing followers. His life, and the life of his mother was on the line, he did what he had to do to survive. Mr. Malfoy failed to carry out his orders in the execution of Albus Dumbledore, he lowered his wand that night and did not partake himself in any of the battles fought. In addition, when given the chance to deliver Mr. Harry Potter himself to Lord Voldemort he did not take it. I ask that you take all this into consideration when making your decision.”

Kingsley was about to carry on when a member of the Wizengamot raised their hand for the first time so he looked at the witch and invited her to speak. “Yes, Mr. Ogden?”

“Whilst I understand what you are saying Minister, you failed to mention in your summary the one thing Mr. Malfoy confessed to being guilty of. He still knowingly let Death Eaters into a school full of vulnerable children, my great-nephew was there at the time, Kingsley, a 13 year old boy, he was terrified, he could have been killed.”

A few of the Wizengamot were nodding their heads in enthusiastic agreement and one other spoke out.

“And my granddaughter was at the school last year, she has told me what Mr. Malfoy and his Death Eater friends got up to. They tortured children Minister, we simply cannot allow him to go free.” 

Draco felt the familiar nauseous feeling return. The Minister had seemingly conducted this trail in his favour and Potter had no doubt managed to persuade a few people but this was a reminder of what Draco knew. People would never forgive and forget. They all had loved ones affected during the war and they wanted someone to blame. They would never accept him as anything other than what the Dark Mark burned into his skin represented. Looks like he was going to be punished after all.

“Thank you Mr. Ogden and Mrs. Banks you have my sympathies for your family and my understanding. I do think that Mr. Malfoy needs to consider the consequences of his actions but no doubt he already has and I rather agree that it wouldn’t be wise to simply let Mr. Malfoy walk free.” The Minister responded to the member of the Wizengamot before turning back to Draco. “I think the world will need some... assurances of your character Mr. Malfoy so I do believe you should be… monitored for a while.”

Monitored? What did that mean, Draco considered. It wasn’t freedom and he didn’t like the sound of aurors following him everywhere he went. Still, it didn’t sound like a prison sentence and if it was Auror Proudfoot it wouldn’t be too bad… Before Draco could contemplate his fate much longer Shacklebolt was addressing the other person over to his right who hadn’t yet spoken.

“Professor McGonagall, I believe you have a suggestion on how this could be achieved?”

Draco had forgotten she was there, was this trial going to take yet another bizarre turn?

“Thank you, Minister. Yes, I do believe I have the most appropriate solution” She began in the familiar stern Scottish voice Draco knew well. “Unfortunately control of Hogwarts school fell into the... wrong hands last year. Our Muggle-born students were not allowed to return and many of the other students were too afraid to return or sadly got caught up in the war themselves. Even for those who attended the full year of schooling it could hardly be described as an... appropriate education. Therefore, as Headmistress, I am reopening Hogwarts for all students who wish to return this September-” 

Well, this was news to Draco, he had wondered whether it would reopen but it was good that it was, he supposed. Although he was still a bit clueless as to what it had to do with him or his sentencing. He was intrigued though so he listened to his former Transfiguration teacher as she continued.

“-however, students who enrol will be redoing their last year. Last year's first year students will return as first years, second years as second years and so forth.” Redo? Draco sat up straighter, definitely interested now. Could this mean… 

“Consequently, I shall be inviting all of Mr. Malfoy’s peers to come back and have the proper seventh year of education they deserve in order to take their exams. If Mr. Malfoy wishes to make a valuable contribution to society then obtaining his qualifications in full is the right way forward. I believe as a school, we failed Mr. Malfoy in his sixth year, perhaps even before then. We didn’t notice what he was doing and did not realise that he needed our help and guidance then, more than ever. He was a child, a student under our care. If we had reached out to him sooner we may have been able to steer him in the right direction and certain outcomes may have been different. I would, therefore, personally like to make amends for this by offering myself as his mentor over the upcoming school year which I very much recommend he attends. If so, you can rest assured I will be working him very hard and I will be guiding him with a firm hand. He will not be allowed certain privileges that his classmates might have, this in itself may be punishment enough. He will be there to learn, not enjoy himself and will have to prove himself worthy. At the end of the school year you may assess for yourself what kind of man he is and he will be able to go out into the workplace properly equipped to make a positive impact in the world, you shall have my word on that.”

Draco was taken back by the level of care and responsibility Professor McGonagall hinted at in her little speech. It suddenly struck him that this had been arranged, all of it. The Minister and McGonagall, maybe even Potter and the aurors, had all sat down and planned this outcome just for him. How did they care about his future that much? 

It was clever too, he could see that. It was a ‘punishment’ of sorts, he didn’t know exactly what privileges he would miss out on, Hogsmede perhaps, but he believed McGonagall when she said he would have to work hard and prove himself. She had a fearsome tone in her harsh Scottish accent when she needed to and she certainly didn’t make it sound fun! That should please the Wizengamot and the more doubtful members of the public. 

It was more of a rehabilitation programme than a jail sentence. They seemed to be reprimanding him and helping him at the same time, it was quite cunning really, almost… Slytherin like. Even if he couldn’t really understand why they would want to help him. McGonagall made it seem like they could wipe out the bad in him and replace it with good. He wasn’t sure that was possible, but... he wanted to believe it could be… deep down. 

Kingsley addressed the courtroom once more.

“An excellent suggestion Professor McGonagall, thank-you. I propose that the accused should be sentenced to a twelve months probation where he will be monitored and have restricted freedom of movement. This period of time will be mostly spent gaining his N.E.W.T.S at Hogwarts school whilst it is in session. During the school holidays he may join his mother at Malfoy Manor under house arrest if he so wishes but he will not be allowed out into the wider wizarding world until we have assessed his conduct at the end of this probation period. Mr. Malfoy will have his wand examined every month to assess the magic performed and all his correspondence will be checked. He will have an appointment every month with Professor McGonagall who will act as Mr. Malfoy’s mentor and probation officer. At the end of the twelve month period a small hearing will be held here at the Ministry to determine where or not these terms have been met and if the conditions will be lifted. Mr. Malfoy do you agree to these terms?”

It certainly wasn’t the worst sentencing that could have happened today, Draco thought to himself. It would be annoying to be watched so closely and to be honest he wasn’t sure how he felt about going back to school… On the other hand to have true freedom at the end of the year with full qualifications… that was better than he could have hoped for. He hadn’t looked to the future much. The past was too painful, the future was too uncertain. He had just been existing in the present, trying to get through each hour, but if he could do this… Maybe he could have some sort of future after all.

“I agree.” He found himself declaring with more confidence he had felt in a while. 

“Good.” Kingsley’s smooth voice echoed around the circular room. “Members of the Wizengamot, I now turn to you. All those in favour of Mr. Malfoy’s 12 month probation under the terms laid out please raise your hand.”

Draco held his breath and started to count as the hands went up. A few shot straight up in the air without hesitation, a few were firmly tucked down and were unlikely to rise at all but most seemed uncertain. Slowly but surely more hands started moving up in the air until…yes, it looked like just over half.

“Excellent, we have a majority. Sentencing of a 12 month probation period has been passed. Mr. Malfoy, you may leave the courtroom with your mother and return to Malfoy Manor where you must remain until term starts again at Hogwarts school. You may collect your wand on the way out and Professor McGonagall will arrange a suitable time with you for your first probationary interview. Good day Mr. Malfoy.” The Minister concluded the trial and the Wizengamot started rising to their feet and just like that it was over. 

Draco hadn’t moved yet, he wasn’t sure if he could. There was so much to take in and he still couldn’t understand what exactly had happened here today. He suddenly looked around for that familiar head of messy black hair but he couldn’t see him anywhere. He had already gone. Professor McGonagall, however, was walking towards him. She stopped just in front of him to speak.

“Mr. Malfoy, I trust you are pleased with the outcome here today. I will write to you in about a month, please look for my owl. Good day.” 

With that she walked out of the doors alongside the last remaining Wizengamot before Draco could respond. The courtroom seemed also empty now but he was still aware of someone just behind him. He remembered who it must be and stood up and turned round slowly. Looking at her he found her smiling softly at him with a proud look in her eyes that he had so rarely seen.

“Mother” he said and before he could even think about his actions he found himself rushing over and giving her a rare hug. She welcomed him into her arms in a way he could only remember doing a couple of times and they stood there for a moment saying everything they needed to in that embrace. Finally she stepped back and looked into his eyes, once more

“Let’s go home Draco.” she said.


	6. The Empty Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Narcissa try to settle back into The Manor.

Except this wasn’t home, not really, not anymore, not after He had lived here. Draco thought to himself as he walked around his old suite in Malfoy Manor. All his things were here. The big four poster bed with the green drapes, the extensive walk-in wardrobe with all his clothes, the bathroom with all his luxury products in, even the attached sitting room with his desk and his favorite reading chair by the fireplace. All the furniture matched in the exact same ebony wood. It would have been quite a dark coloured suite together with all the dark green tones if it were not for the subtle accents of silver reflecting the light coming in from the windows. Everything was exactly the same as it always had been, yet somehow everything felt different. He used to cherish his space here but the rooms felt cold and unwelcoming to him now. 

Leo had brought them here about an hour ago after the trial. Turned out he was the auror assigned to Malfoy Manor for the near future. Draco found himself pleased at that turn of events, he actually liked Leo and it would be nice to have a friendly face around. Upon arrival Draco had immediately started questioning his mother about the missing details from the trials he needed to know but she had firmly said that she had to “get her affairs in order” first and that they would “converse later over tea”. 

Once his mother had decided the plan there was no arguing with her so Draco hadn’t been left with much choice but to come up here. He had spent the last hour trying to decide if he wanted to unpack his Hogwarts trunk or not. He hadn’t seen it since before the battle but now it was here by the foot of his bed. Normally he would unpack straight away, he liked things to be in their proper place but he couldn’t bring himself to open it, scared of all the memories it might bring back. The coward in him wanted to get out of this room already and not have to face it but then where would he go? This room was bad but there were other rooms here that would be worse. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to see the rest of the house yet, he dreaded to think what sort of state it would be in. 

The manor had hosted a number of Death Eaters over the past two years and most of the planning for the war had been done here. The Dark Lord himself had taken over the master suite after Lucius’s failed attempt to get the prophecy had landed him in Azkaban the first time round. Fortunately that suite was in the West Wing away from Draco’s own. The Lestranges had the next biggest suite in the West Wing which had meant his mother was forced into one of the smaller guest suites in the East Wing next to Draco’s. His father had been quietly livid about it when he got broken out of prison but he was too scared to actually voice his opinion. Everyone knew who the real master of the house was at that point.

His thought her interrupted by the sound of wandering footsteps and a voice out in the hall

“Draco?” He recognised the male voice and went from the bedroom, through the sitting room to the entrance of his suite.

“I’m in here Leo” he said as he opened the door.

“Ah great, this place is huge! It’s going to take me ages to remember which room is where. So this your room is it? Or should I say rooms?!” He asked jovially, stepping in and looking around.

Draco tried to keep his tone humorous too. “You’ll get used to it, don't worry. It’s not that big and the symmetrical layout of the house helps in navigating your way round. The Chȃteau in France is the real nightmare.”

“Ha, well I doubt I’ll be visiting there anytime soon!”

“No… I don’t suppose so…” The light tone of the conversation stilled somewhat as Draco couldn’t help let some of the sadness show in that remark.

“Ah well, one day maybe! And hey, it could be worse mate. Being cooped up in a palace like this aint all bad! Better than old ‘Azkey’ right?” Leo said, giving him a playful tap on the shoulder and clearly trying to make him feel better. It didn’t really work though. It was obvious he didn’t understand how much of a prison this really was and there was no point trying to explain it. 

“Is that where father is?” He asked Leo directly, seeing as no one had actually confirmed it.

“Er, yes, sorry. I did try but, erm, well he technically had a life sentence before so it probably was a bit too much to hope for.” Leo said awkwardly. 

“It’s quite alright Leo, you did your best I’m sure and we didn’t expect anything from you anyway.” After a slight pause Draco cleared his throat. “I should thank you for your testimony of my character, it seems to have helped a great deal... and... if you also spoke out for mother then I should thank you for that as well.”

“It’s quite alright. We had to write character references for all of you, part of the job, and I was only being honest. I did speak highly of your mother but I didn’t think I needed to. Harry Potter did most of the work there, I guess if you save the ‘Chosen one’ from certain death they let you off the hook! Seems like you both saved him at one time or another, quite funny really! I guess the wizarding world owes you!”

“What? Mother saved Potter, you mean? When?” Draco questioned, startled by this new information.

“Oh, er, you didn’t know? Hmm, well perhaps I shouldn’t be the one… well, maybe you should ask her…” Leo stumbled.

“I see, perhaps I shall.” Draco said slowly. “So is mother on house arrest too?” 

“Yes, 12 months, similar conditions to you but without the terms at school of course. Quite a good result actually.”

“Yes it is, I suppose. And you’ll be here for the duration?”

“Yes, mostly. Technically, as she has no wand and I put some extra security measures in place then I can leave her here and just check in on her once in a while, but I don’t think that’s quite right. It was talked about, back at the office but I said that someone should be here really, at least at night. No one else was that keen honestly so I volunteered. I take this job seriously and I’m more concerned about her safety than her escape. The Death Eaters are still out there, some anyway, and this was their base. They might come back and they might want revenge on your parents for defecting. Your father has offered to help the Ministry with their search too giving information on the escaped Death Eaters so yeah… I’d rather be here in case your mother needs protection more than anything.” Leo explained.

“You actually volunteered for this?” Draco said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeh… had enough of fighting for a while, and it’s still a bit stressful amongst the aurors at the moment. To be honest this seemed like a good peaceful assignment and I thought you’d be happier when you go to school if you knew she was with me. She’ll be alright with me.” Leo shrugged.

Draco considered this for a moment. He happened to agree with Leo that it wasn’t safe for his mother to be alone right now with Death Eaters on the loose. He also couldn’t deny he was happier knowing it would be him here with her and not someone like Auror Savage, but he wondered why his personal happiness should mean anything to Leo 

“So has Mother informed you what suite you’ll be having?”

“Er yes, well, I said I’d rather have the one closest to the top of the stairs so I can keep an ear out. Anyone coming up at night would have to pass by my room to get to yours or Mrs. Malfoys.” He gestured in turn to the three rooms in question.

“Ah, so you’ll be taking the Sapphire suite next to mine on the other side. Nice one that one and, luckily for you, it was empty during the war.” Leo suddenly looked horrified as if he hadn’t even thought who the previous occupant of the room had been. Draco carried on undeterred “I presume then by what you just said that Mother will be keeping the Amethyst suite then, I wasn’t sure… it is rather small for her but I suppose if that is where she is comfortable…” Draco trailed off, thinking aloud. 

“Is that what they’re called?”

“Yes all the suites are named after precious stones and the colour scheme of the rooms match the colour of the stone. It’s all very original.” Draco replied in a bored flat tone. “This is the emerald suite of course, it’s always been my favourite colour. Mother added the silver touches when I got sorted into Slytherin”

“As if there would have been any doubt huh?!” Leo teased.

“Well, no, I suppose not. I think if I’d been sorted elsewhere I’d have had to sleep with the house elves.” Draco replied, not entirely joking. “Speaking of the house-elves I wonder if we have any now. We used to have a few but… well… I am not quite sure what happened to them.” 

Draco phrased it carefully not wanting to voice how horribly they had been treated during the war. The Dark Lord like to torture things when he was bored and kill other things when he was angry. That was probably where the peacocks had gone too. 

Leo coughed drawing back Draco’s attention. “Er, well I’ve seen one”

“You have?” This was surprising but good news to Draco. “Oh good, hopefully that means at least one of them is ok… and it certainly will make things easier for mother. I hope it’s Pinky, mother always liked her.”

“Didn’t catch the name sorry, but your mother was sorting out food for later with… her? I think it was female…” Leo seemed a bit bewildered. Draco wasn’t sure what sort of upbringing he’d had, in fact he really didn’t know much about him at all, but he got the impression he wasn’t used to house elves.

“Yes, she would be female, the only male house elves we’ve had belonged to father. One of them… er, accidentally got set free” Draco smiled to himself at the memory of how cross Lucius had been about Dobby. It was the only time Draco could remember being amused by Potter causing some disruption to his family. He wondered what had happened to Dobby, maybe he would ask Potter if they were ever on speaking terms.

“Oh, did your father replace him?” Leo asked.

“Of course, but, erm-” Draco’s smile vanished as he recalled what had happened. “unfortunately, his allegiance switched to me when father got sent to Azkaban a couple of years ago but I had to, erm, tell him to obey the Dark Lord. It... it didn’t end well.” That was rather an understatement but Leo didn’t need to know the specifics and Draco wasn’t inclined to reveal them. 

“Right… er, sorry” This seemed to be the way of their conversations, all light and friendly until they inevitably stumbled across something painful from the war that made Draco shut down and Leo awkward. The auror then did what he always did and tried to pick up the mood. “Well, anyway, Mrs. Malfoy has arranged afternoon tea in the conservatory in one hour, that will be nice. That’s why I came actually, she wanted me to tell you.”

Draco looked up. “Afternoon tea? That’s a bit formal even for Mother given the circumstances of today.”

“Well, none of us had lunch I suppose and it is still your birthday after all, we’ve still got to celebrate that haven’t we?” Leo said smiling.

“Oh, right… yeh.” Draco had completely forgotten it was his birthday, not that there would be any presents, he supposed. “Well, afternoon tea would be nice.” He said after some consideration. “Will you be joining us?”

“I will at first, if that’s ok. Mrs. Malfoy said I could and I’m not going to lie, I am hungry! But once I’ve had my fill, I reckon I’ll leave you to it. I’m sure you’ll want to talk a few things over.”

“Yes, I suppose that would be best.” Draco thought out loud. “In that case I really should unpack my trunk and get my room in order first. I wouldn’t want to unleash mother’s bad side on our first day back”

Leo laughed. “No, please don’t! I haven’t seen her bad side yet but I’m not sure I want to!” 

“You definitely don't.” Draco said seriously.

*~*

Nearly an hour later, Draco had finally unpacked everything and had his suite sorted out the way he liked things. Once he started he realised it was quite cathartic. Some things had been painful to look at again, such as his extensive encyclopedia of potions ingredients signed by Severus. His godfather had never really lavished presents on Draco so it was special when he did and that book really was rather useful. However, he realised that he did still have some fond memories of Hogwarts, maybe going back wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

He had even made some alterations to his suite making his black desk grey and transfiguring the old fashioned chesterfield into a more modern loveseat, also grey. The grey goes nicely with the green, black and silver and Draco thought it freshened the rooms up a bit and made them lighter. More than anything he just wanted a bit of a change. He still kept his favourite chair the same though and the bedroom wasn't really that different with the exception of grey curtains instead of the dark green ones that had blended into the wallpaper. He made his way downstairs thinking at least he’d have something to talk to his mother about over tea. He went through the parlour and into the conservatory, grateful that the route avoided the dining room. He wasn’t sure he could face eating at that table yet and he guessed his mother felt the same way having chosen the conservatory. 

Looking around as he entered he realised that this room actually looked rather nice. He remembered being fond of the light airy conservatory when he was a child but they hadn’t used it much in recent years and he was sure it had changed a bit. He was certain the floor used to be a dark stone but now it seemed to be made up on shiny white and blue tiles in a beautiful mosaic pattern. The large, floor to ceiling window panels had obviously been very recently cleaning and were also sparkling with the sun shining through them. In the centre of the space stood a small water fountain. It was nicely done, quite simple for the usual standards of this house and Draco was immediately soothed by the sound of the trickling water, he had always been fond of water. 

“Ah Draco, you’re here.” His mother was just walking into the conversation from the other door to the one Draco had entered from, the one that was nearer to the kitchens. 

“Yes mother, I got your message.”

“Good, well thank you for coming.” As if he had anywhere else to be, Draco almost replied but censored himself just in time. Instead his mother carried on. “I know this isn’t how we used to celebrate your birthday before… -well I thought we could start a new tradition.” 

Before the war, was what she had avoided saying, nicely rescued anyway and Draco couldn’t argue with the need to start new traditions.

“That sounds rather nice actually, thank you mother.” He replied honestly. “This room is looking nice, it wasn’t always like this was it?”

“No, not exactly. I thought I would freshen it up a bit and make it more of a sunroom. My wandless transfiguration is somewhat limited but the house elf helped.” 

Wow, wandless transfiguration! Draco had no idea his mother could do any, even a small amount was impressive. Clearly he had underestimated her. Leo was obviously right about the house elf too… it seems they did have one, Draco thought as his mother carried on. 

“The weather is rather lovely today after all, nice to enjoy it, but I’m afraid the grounds aren’t what they once were.” She paused thoughtfully before dismissing it. “Never mind, we can spruce them up a bit too I’m sure.”

“Of course we can mother, I know how much you liked your roses. They will grow again, I’m sure.” Draco said kindly.

“Yes, I hope so.” Her voice had gone quieter than before and it carried a hint of sadness with it than Draco didn’t like as she looked out the window to where the rose garden had once been. He sought to distract her quickly.

“This water fountain is nice, was it always here?” It seemed to work, as she turned her head back towards him and smiled.

“No dear, I added that just now for you. I know how water soothes you.” She said with a fond smile.

“Oh, I didn’t know you knew that about me.” He hadn’t really meant to say that but he found himself thinking out loud.

“Really, Draco dear, you’re talking to your mother you know. I remember when you used to scream as a baby, giving you a bath would sometimes be the only thing that worked to make you stop!” She smiled at him fondly, taking a step towards him. 

“I thought the house elves always bathed me.” He realised too late that it was probably the wrong thing to say that as his mother shifted awkwardly. 

“Well, they may have done more of the physical work, that was just the way of things.” She looked into his eyes before continuing “but I was still there Draco, I’ve always been there.”

She held his gaze and Draco was just considering whether he should hug her when Leo strolled in from the garden through the double glass doors in the room whistling as he left them open behind him. Neither of them had seen him coming and he didn’t seem to notice that he may have been walking in on a private moment between mother and son.

“Sorry I’m a little late. I was just taking a walk around the perimeter. All seems to be in order with the boundary but you were right about the pond Mrs. Malfoy. I’m afraid it is showing little signs of life. You could start from scratch with the carpe of course, or you could just turn it into a pool!” He said in his usual chipper tone, only then looking round properly at the two blonds in front of him and taking in the scene. “Oh, er, sorry, was I interrupting?”

“Not at all Auror Proudfoot, you’re just in time for afternoon tea. Let us sit.” Narcissa gestured to the modest round glass table to her right. They each took one of the elegant black iron garden chairs, that were more comfortable than they looked, before a house elf suddenly appeared wearing a frilly yellow apron, that Draco had never seen before, and pushing a trolley. 

“Pinky!” Draco exclaimed in a manner that was highly unusual to greet a house elf in but no one seemed to mind.

“Young master Malfoy, it is a pleasure for Pinky to be seeing you again” See said whilst bowing very low to him.

“It’s good to see you too, I wondered what had happened to you but glad you’re here.” He was speaking much more honestly than he ever had to a house elf and his mother was giving him a curious look. She didn’t seem cross, just a bit bemused. 

Pinky was giving him a slightly puzzled looked too as she straightened up.

“Master Malfoy is very kind to be wondering about Pinky. Pinky has been staying safe at Hogwarts sir on Mistress' orders. Pink even fought in the battle sir which Pinky is proud of! Us house elves followed Harry Potter’s elf sir and Pinky wanted to protect Mistress and Master but Pinky is pleased to be back sir now that Mistress has returned and all is well. Although there is much work to be done to get the house back in order.” Pinky spoke freely in a way that Draco had never heard before.

The house elf seemed to be muttering to herself now more than anyone else as she was taking food off the trolley and onto the table. Draco on the hand was considering how thoughtful his mother had been to get Pinky safe and out the way and how on earth she managed it with no one noticing. He thought perhaps he may have been underestimating her.

“Yes thank you Pinky. It is good to have you. Now if you could see to the other matter we discussed.” Narcissa was clearly dismissing her, although her tone was kind.

The house elf took a quick bow and then she was gone as suddenly as she appeared. Draco was now keening eyeing the trays on sandwiches and the stands full of cakes and pastries that were now in front of them. It was true, he had less of an appetite these days but looking around he saw all his old favourites and suddenly felt very hungry. 

“Do eat up Draco, you’re looking a bit too thin these days.” His mother said, and he didn’t need telling twice. 

Perhaps this might turn out to be a decent birthday afterall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because I'm that sad I have created my version of Malfoy Manor on the Sims... ;)  
> It's not as good as others I've seen, I've kept it simple in terms of the shape but I thought I'd share it with you so you can visualise the layout.
> 
> You can check it out here https://www.pinterest.co.uk/hufflepuffromantic/the-process-of-healing-drarry-fic/
> 
> I have a Pinterest board full of inspiration for this story and my other one too and will be adding to them as I progress with my writing so feel free to refer to it to help you picture everything!  
> If any of you super talented people free the desire to draw some fan art inspired by my stories then do let me know, I'd love to see it! I am useless at drawing :(


	7. The Release of Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We catch up with Draco after his first night back in the Manor and see how he will spend his first day here.  
> Plus some important mother and son bonding time.

Unsurprisingly, Draco had spent the majority of his first night back at the Manor staring at the dark wooden ceiling of his four poster bed thinking. Admittedly it was much more comfortable than his lumpy single bed at the safe house but it still wasn’t as comfortable to him as it had been, before he had experienced anything that would keep him up at night. 

A lot had happened over the past twenty fours hours and it might take a while still for him to process it. Still, it hadn’t all been bad. His birthday tea had actually been quite enjoyable and it had been a while since Draco had enjoyed anything. He had even had presents after. Only a few of course, not the amount he had once been used to but no presents at all would have been an improvement on last year. He shuddered remembering what his Aunt had considered a birthday present. No, best not dwell on that, the new emerald quill set that Leo had given was much better. 

“They were blue but after what you said earlier, I transfigured them, thought this would suit you better.” He had said whilst grinning at him. 

He had received a few other practical gifts from him and his mother for the upcoming school year which he had graciously accepted. True, they weren’t amazing gifts but they had hardly been able to go out shopping and they would undoubtedly be useful for N.E.T.W.S which he was determined to do well at. The best present had come after Leo had left them and he was currently staring at it against his pale skin with his mother’s words still going round in his head.

“I want you to have this Draco, to remember that there is always light to be found amongst the darkness. You have both inside you, I know that, but you are good Draco.... I’m sorry for not protecting you against the darkness... I am sorry for a great many things... but maybe this can be the start of something new… for all of us. You are more than that Dark Mark on your arm Draco, you have light... Remember that, use it.” 

She had reached out to his left arm and fastened a beaded bracelet onto his wrist. When he took a closer look at it all the rounds beads threaded on were the most exquisite black onyx gemstones except one. The one in the centre was pure white selenite. The meanings were not lost on him. Black onyx typically symbolised blocking out negativity and being determined whereas selenite meant purification and enlightenment. It was perfect and it was nice to have something on his left arm that he actually wanted to look at. 

It was the most thoughtful present he had ever received and he found himself fighting back tears. Draco knew better than to not openly cry so he was suddenly immensely grateful that his father wasn't present. His father would have launched into a speech about how “Malfoy men do not cry”. His mother however had just delicately placed her hand on his shoulder to give it a little squeeze before quietly slipping away without another word. It was her way of silently letting him know that it was ok to cry, so cry he had.

Draco had thought that would be the only show of emotion he would have that day but a few hours later he found himself full of emotion once more. This time it was anger, founded in some sort of disbelief and confusion. Leo had come into his sitting room again after supper (a delicious french onion soup made by Pinky) to talk to him. He had only wanted to reiterate the security measures. Draco had already assumed them all correctly but Leo said that he needed to note that he had officially told him “for the file” so Draco listened.

Leo got quite awkward when he said that he would have to read all of his correspondence but Draco didn’t really see why, he had expected it. It was then that the auror had claimed that he didn’t want Draco to think that he didn’t trust him because he absolutely did, he was just doing his job and that was what had got Draco confusingly angry. Trust?! Leo’s confession had rather startled him. How could this man trust him? They barely knew each other. Foolish Gryffindor, thought Draco. He had never had anyone so openly trust him and it unnerved him. Draco didn’t even trust himself and he certainly wouldn’t trust him if he was in Leo’s position. 

“Has it ever occured to you that maybe you shouldn’t?” Draco had snapped at him.

“Huh?” had been Leo’s not-so-eloquent reply which had just further infuriated him.

“You’re an auror for goodness sake, aren’t you trained to be suspicious of dark wizards? In case you hadn’t heard the Malfoys are dark, they’ve been dark for centuries the whole lot of them, and the Blacks are even worse which I am also descended from, for your information. Did you bother to find that out? If you don’t know what sort of family you’re dealing with then maybe you should do more research. If you could see the things this house has seen you’d have nightmares for the rest of your life, I know I will. We’re dark, evil, Slytherins, Leo, you can’t trust us, ok? I don’t even trust us. Don’t trust me, don’t even trust mother and certainly don’t trust father. Understood?” 

Draco had sat back down in his chair, having not even realised that he had at some point stood up. Leo had simply been smiling at him. Clearly he did not understand.

“You feel better now you’ve got that off your chest?” Leo had said after, his smile growing into a ridiculous grin. Draco had opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again as he didn’t really know what he would say. He was angry and confused all at once. Leo had then sat forward to look at him a bit more seriously.

“I get it Draco, I do, you don’t want me to trust the ‘evil Malfoys’, understood. You know what I heard then in your little rant with my trained ‘auror ears’?! You think your family is dark and that clearly disgusts you based on how angry you got. That tells me that you are not a dark wizard. You also don’t want me to trust any of you, but if you’re so evil why would you care if I did? Surely that would just play into your hands? You’re warning me, protecting me even, that means you care. Therefore, and I hate to be the one to tell you this Mr. Malfoy, but you are good whether you’ve admitted it to yourself or not.” 

Leo had looked very pleased with himself after that and Draco hadn’t really known how to respond. He had simply claimed how tired he was and suggested it would be better if they got an early night. 

It wasn’t a lie, he had been tired. Draco had never in his life been told that he was good so to be told so many times in one day had been mentally exhausting. Ironically it had been that, and not the nightmares he thought would come with this house, that had kept him awake. Was he capable of being good? Wasn’t that the million galleon question, he thought over and over to himself until it was an acceptable time to get up.

*~*

When he decided that it was, he slipped out of bed and made his way over to his en-suite bathroom. It was when he got into the shower that he was reminded of how much worse his ‘prison sentence’ could actually be. He hadn’t really missed the manor but he had forgotten how amazing his personal bathroom was compared to that pathetic thing in the safe house. He had a choice in here between a powerful and invigorating shower or a relaxing and indulgent jacuzzi corner bath. This morning he felt more like a shower so he opened the glass door and stepped in. 

This was better for washing his hair after all and Draco had his favorite bergamot shampoo in here too. He had made the formula himself so it was perfect for his hair and he had forgotten how good it smelled. It had a mixture of light floral notes and the more earthy scents of tea it soothed him as he ran it through his soft hair. He had been neglecting his hair and he hadn’t thought to care before but now he was suddenly frustrated with himself that he asked for his products before now. He silently promised himself that he would never wash without them again as he poured some of the homemade lavender shower gel into his hands to wash the rest of his body.

After the best shower he had in a long time it didn't matter much that he hadn’t slept a wink. He felt energised and ready to face the day which was just as well as the moment he was dressed there was a knock at the door of his suite. It was gentler than Leo’s had been though.

“Mother?” he called out and gave himself a final check in his bedroom mirror.

“Yes it is just me Draco, may I come in?” the voice called back.

“Of course, I’ll be out in the sitting room in just a moment.” He replied.

Once he had cast the final drying charm on his hair to get it just perfect, he walked out of his bedroom to find her sitting on his new grey sofa. He couldn’t help notice that she looked a bit tired too. It wasn’t obvious but it was there to his trained eye. 

“Good morning Mother.” he said, giving her a courtesy kiss on the cheek before taking the armchair opposite. “To what do I owe this early visit.”

“Morning Draco” She replied, neither one asking how the other slept out of courtesy, both knowing they would not answer honestly. “I had wondered whether we could have an informal breakfast in here today. I know it’s unusual but you seemed pleased with the changes you’d made to your sitting room and I wanted to enjoy them for myself.”

Draco suspected that the real reason was that she was still avoiding the dining room but as he had no desire to visit it either he thought the subject was best left alone for the moment.

“That’s a lovely idea mother.”

“Pinky” She called out and suddenly the elf was in the room.

“Yes Mistress” she said bowing so low that her frilly apron touched the floor, it was blue today. Draco wondered how many aprons she had as he had only ever seen her in rags before. 

“Draco and I will be having breakfast in here today, nothing too fancy just come coffee and some pastries will suffice please.”

“Of course, Mistress, Master, Pinky is happy to serve.” came the squeaky little voice in reply.

“Thank you Pinky, would you please take a tray into Auror Proudfoot’s sitting room too.”

“Yes Mistress, right away.” A ‘pop’ and she was gone.

“It was kind of you mother, keeping Pinky safe. I didn’t like… what happened… to the others I mean.” He said tentatively.

“No, that was rather sad. I know your father has never been kind to the house elves but Pinky has always been good to me and she deserves a certain level of... good-will, in return.”

“Is she free? She’s wearing aprons.”

“She is now, I couldn’t free her before as it would have been too dangerous. I still had to forbid her from saying who she worked for and anything from the Manor but I ordered her to stay safe so I knew she would be ok. Yesterday, when I called her back, I told her she was free to do as she wished but that I would be grateful for the help if she stayed. She insisted that she wanted to stay here and serve so I gave her a set of dolls aprons we had in storage to replace that hideous rag. I said we would pay her and give her time off and everything but I have yet to sort it out.”

“I’m glad.” Draco said simply.

“Yes, me too.” came the considered response.

Another ‘pop’ and Pinky was back in the room with a french press of steaming coffee, two cups, a rack of toast, a plate of croissants and a cinnamon swirl. She placed the single cinnamon swirl in front of Draco and winked at him before disappearing again. Draco was taken back at first but then of course she would remember that they were his favourite, she had always been attentive. Narcissa seemed to think so too.

“I see she is still spoiling you.” she said in her normal matter-of-fact tone. It wasn’t disapproving though which she proved by continuing. “Still, I suppose it has been a while since anyone spoiled you so you may as well enjoy it.” She finished with a tiny smile.

“Yes, I rather think I shall.” he said tucking into the pastry.

They chatted a bit over breakfast, carefully avoiding any uncomfortable topics which was easier said than done. His mother had finally told him some of the details of her trial and that of his fathers at supper the night before and the rest he could piece together. He still didn’t know what Leo had meant about his mother saving Potter, she hadn’t but he didn’t think the time had come to ask yet. Before sixth year he had confided in his mother a lot but his task that year and had caused him to shut her out like so many others and they were still finding their way back to talking openly with each other. 

She then asked him how he would spend his time here before going back to school. He told her truthfully that he would spend the majority of the time studying. There had been rather a large distracting shadow cast over his school work over the past two years. His O.W.L results had actually been pretty impressive but his grades had fallen dramatically in sixth year and he needed to catch up on the work he’d missed then if he was going to do well in his N.E.W.T.S. 

On reflection he was rather looking forward to having something else to focus on and challenging his mind into something useful. He knew he didn’t need to work really, he could live off the Malfoy estate for the rest of his life but he had to do something. He was unconvinced that anyone would actually hire him but at least having good qualifications wouldn’t hurt. 

His mother encouraged his plan to study which was good but she did increase the pressure somewhat with her typical gentle but somehow still firm reminder.

“I am rather pleased that you have the opportunity to gain your qualifications, Draco, and I am fully expecting you to achieve the grades befitting a Malfoy heir. You are clever and if you apply yourself you should do very well.”

He couldn’t help but think she was saying what she knew father would say if he were here and he hated the reminder of being a ‘Malfoy Heir’ but at least her version was a tad nicer than he would expect of the current head of the Malfoy house. He sighed inwardly thinking he should have expected this even if his father was out of sight he was never out of mind. He could cope with that, he’d have to, but his mother’s next question turned the conversation to something that Draco wasn’t quite prepared for. 

“Have you thought about what it is you’d like to do with your future once you have completed your education?” 

Her tone was carefully neutral as if she didn’t really care about the answer but Drcao knew better and no doubt whatever he answered would make its way back to father. He decided he couldn’t really do anything else than answer honestly even if it wasn’t the whole truth

“Truthfully Mother, I am not yet sure. I haven’t really allowed myself to think too far ahead as I was very uncertain what the future might hold for me. I’m sure you understand.”

He tried to keep the tone of accusation out of his voice. Rationally, he knew that it wasn’t his mother’s fault but sometimes he hated her pretence that the war never happened and he couldn’t help but subtly remind her that his priority had just been to survive over the past couple of years. Draco knew she would understand the message behind his statement without him having to say it; it was how slytherins communicated. 

“I - I do understand, Draco, forgive me.” She said slowly after a short pause. “A mother is always thinking about the future of her only son.” She stopped again as if deciding whether to add the next words but then she seemed to find a renewed sense of determination and looked him straight in the eyes. “Now, Draco, you may have any future that you wish and you will find what it is that you wish to do, I am sure of it.”

This was definitely his mother talking now with no hints of his father and Draco didn’t think he would support her words which made them even more precious to him. Hopefully she would remember them when Draco had made some decisions about his future and the time came for him to be more honest with his parents. Fortunately that time was not now. Now he would just concentrate on his school work and passing his probation.

A short while passed where mother and son seemed to be content with eating their breakfast in silence before Naricssa spoke again.

“If you could spare some time away from your studies, I was wondering if I might have your assistance with the Manor?” She questioned him carefully. 

“What exactly is it that you want doing with the Manor?”

“Well, I rather like what you’ve done to your suite. It’s subtle but it’s lighter now which makes it more... relaxing.” She said, looking around.

“I think the time has come now for a bit of a change. The estate has remained the same for decades and although it has always been grand there has still been a sombre atmosphere about the place which has increased tenfold in the past couple of years.” She stopped herself like she always did when she came too close to the subject of the war before changing tactics. 

“It is a shell of its former existence and now might be a good opportunity to breath new life into it. You have an eye for this Draco and there is much to be done. As I don’t have a wand-” Draco felt a twinge of guilt about this. “-I am limited as to what I can do. It would also be a way of us spending time together.”

There was no hint of emotion in her voice but Draco could read the sentiment there. He agreed wholeheartedly that a change of decor was in order but he still wasn’t sure if he was able to face some of the rooms. Selfishly he wanted to say no but he realised that she probably felt the same way and it would be easier if they did it together, besides he knew his mother well enough to know that she was not really asking and part of him did want to spend the time with her.

“I see what you mean Mother and I don’t disagree. The house could do with a lift and of course, your company would be welcome too, but, you know that you can borrow my wand any time you like Mother. You lent me yours when I needed it and it’s my fault you don’t have one anymore-”

“Nonsense Draco” Narcissa cut in. “You needed it more than me at the school and I could not have you unable to defend yourself. I do not blame you for what happened to it. Thank you for offering it to me but it is yours and you need it. Besides, I was rather thinking that I could teach you a few things, it would be useful for your upcoming examinations.”

“Well in that case, thank you Mother, some spell practice would be welcome actually. Did you have an idea of where you wanted to start?”

“Yes, I was considering what you were saying yesterday about the rose garden and it is looking like a lovely day again today. Why don’t we start in the grounds?”

Relieved that he only had to face the grounds today Draco agreed and after finishing their coffee, they set off downstairs through the conversatory into the garden. It was indeed a lovely day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is progressing quite slowly but I have a lot to set up about Draco's home life, family relationship and his character.  
> I really want to spend the time here getting to know him. :)  
> We do get to see Harry again briefly before Hogwarts starts and more time will definitely come with him when school is in session but we're still a long way off from that to be honest!  
> Stick with it, hope you enjoy! Romance will happen.... eventually!
> 
> P.S) for anyone interested in Draco's bracelet I have put an inspiration picture on my Pinterest page for this story (link below). I know that selenite is not often used in jewellery as it's quite fragile and scratches easily but this is magic jewellery so... I'm sure it can be magically reinforced and protected! 
> 
> https://www.pinterest.co.uk/hufflepuffromantic/the-process-of-healing-drarry-fic/


	8. The New Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A chapter that summarises the events of June describing Draco's new routine at the Manor.   
> Then we have Draco's first probation meeting with Professor McGonnagall.

The events of that first day back at the Manor quickly became routine. Draco and Narcissa would take breakfast together in Draco’s sitting room while Leo ate in his, then after breakfast mother and son would choose an area of the house or the grounds that needed work and would set about transforming the space. A light picnic lunch would often be taken in one of the newly restored gardens to make the most of the summer weather. Draco would then have the afternoon to himself to study before the three of them took dinner together in the conservatory. 

After dinner Narcissa would retire to her rooms, she still seemed to tire easily which worried Draco a bit. Night time was still his least favourite time of the day, however, so he was grateful for the continuing evening chats that Leo initiated in the evenings. It was a nice balance over all and Draco found himself enjoying the quality time with his mother and the conversations with Leo as well as the time he shared with both of them together and the solitude he had. 

Slowly but surely the Manor was becoming more welcoming and less oppressive. Some things were simply restored to the way they were before the war such as the entrance hall, the parlour and the greenhouses. However, mostly, when they set about restoring an area they would take the opportunity to make it slightly brighter and a touch more modern than it had been. It was quite therapeutic to Draco as if they were removing bad memories of the war and giving the manor a new lease of life, somewhere where they could possibly make more, happier, memories. 

Some mornings it was just the two of them, but sometimes Leo would come and help too. Most of the time they would discuss a plan and then work in a comfortable silence just coming together every so often to decide on a colour or agree the layout. Occasionally, the morning would be a bit livelier and they would talk as they worked. Either one was fine with Draco, it was nice to have something to do and he found himself enjoying the company in whatever form it took.

They had found lots of books in the library on household charms, herbology and furniture transfiguration which gave good instructions and Pinky was a valuable asset too. Draco was continually surprised at the magic his mother knew, she had always led a comfortable life without having to do many day-to-day spells and he couldn’t really remember her teaching him anything before. However, he had recently found out that she had once been top of her class in charms and transfiguration and she made quite a good tutor. She was firm and pushed Draco hard yet at the same time she was patient and never gave him anything more than he could cope with. 

Leo didn’t have much knowledge in these areas but, like Draco, he followed instructions well and was a quick learner so between them they made good progress. Narcissa didn’t know much about herbology though it seemed so Draco’s practice at the safe house came in useful there. Pinky was often cleaning somewhere else and quickly the layer of dust that had accumulated was gone and the surfaces were beginning to shine once more. She was also incredibly useful at going to fetch items out of storage or moving them from room to room being that the anti-disapparition jinx didn’t affect house-elves.

They quickly learnt, however, that between the numerous ministry raids and the destruction of the Death Eaters, they were left with few possessions. Many of the rooms were barren and impersonal now, just dark empty spaces that seemed haunted. Furniture that was broken could be easily mended but many of the trinkets and ornaments that had once given the spaces character were gone. Leo had been out a couple of times with shopping lists from Narcissa to replace some of the items. He always seemed happy to help but he could tell that his Mother wasn’t completely happy with everything he brought back and was feeling frustrated that she couldn’t go out herself.. 

The rest of June passed very uneventfully with this new routine established and slipped into July. The grounds were actually looking quite nice now. They didn’t have the grandeur they had previously boasted but if anything Draco preferred the understated elegance they had achieved with the separate gardens. The rose garden was smaller than it had been but it was still impressive and rather beautiful and Narcissa definitely still appreciated it. The statues in the statue garden had all been cleaned and restored but instead of the stiff formal layout they had been in before, they now sat dispersed amongst wildflowers and this garden had a peaceful rustic charm about it making it Leo’s favourite. 

Draco’s favorite though was the serenity of the brand new water garden which they had put in place of the old pond. It was definitely one of the more modern additions to the manor with contemporary water features and black stones underfoot which contrasted nicely against the green bamboo growing tall against the walls. Amongst the stones were white stepping stones which lead to a raised seating area which had been used for informal lunches a few times now, not that they really did any formal eating anymore. 

This was largely due to the fact that they still hadn’t set foot the drawing room or the dining room. These were the two rooms most often used when the place acted as the Death Eaters headquarters and therefore had the most unpleasant memories attached to them. Although it was only a matter of time before they needed to be done. The library had been the first room on the ground floor to be finished, other than the conservatory, as this really didn’t need much doing to it. The books of a more sinister nature that had been confiscated by the Ministry had all come from the smaller library upstairs that had been used as Lucius’s private study. Therefore, all the books in the grand library were still resting on the wooden floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that sat on every wall, all they had done was spruce it up a bit. 

They had now started work on the main family sitting room which hadn’t really been used over the past two years and was one room that Draco did actually have positive memories of as it was always the room they unwrapped the Christmas presents in. It had always been one of the brightest rooms too in a nice light blue which Narcissa was keen to keep. The curtains, however, did need updating as Aunt Bella had taken her frustrations out on them once after a rather unpleasant meeting that hadn’t gone her way. Draco had been struggling for a while to transfigure them to the exact shade of powder blue whilst his mother was effortlessly plumping up the cushions. Eventually she decided it was time to break for lunch so he gave up and made them cream instead to match the cream trim of the upholstered blue sofa. She looked over with a raised eyebrow at his failing but then must have decided that the cream looked good as she didn’t say anything.

After some sandwiches in the rose garden he went upstairs to his sitting room as normal. He was just about to revise the theory of turning vinegar into wine which was needed for N.E.W.T level charms when there was a knock at his door which he recognised as Leo’s. Sure enough, after Draco called “come in” the auror entered walking over to where Draco was sitting at his desk and held out a letter for him.

“Hey, this just just arrived for you. It’s from Professor McGonnagall. I’ll leave you to it but when you’ve written the reply just let me know and I’ll seal it and send it off for you.” 

He said a bit awkwardly. It was as if Leo hated remembering he was an auror here and not just a guest, Draco still didn’t understand that. It’s not as if they were actual friends even if they were friendly. Draco didn’t really have time to consider this or respond though before Leo walked back out the room. He opened the scroll, recognising the familiar Hogwarts crest on the already broken seal and began to read. 

It was a short letter so it didn’t take him long. The Professor had asked after his health and that of his mother, although Draco assumed this was just a polite courtesy rather than actual concern, and she “hoped they had settled back in well”, whatever that meant. She reminded him that the first month of his probation had nearly passed so she was requesting his presence for their initial meeting in her office on Monday at ten o’clock sharp. Apparently there would be a temporary direct floo network set up by the Ministry to go from the Manor to Hogwarts. Draco had sent a short, formal reply back confirming he would be there (like he really had a choice) and two days later he was stepping through the fireplace.

*~*

Draco landed gracefully and stepped out into the office that had been Dumbledore’s for so long and Snape’s ever so briefly. Both of whom were now looking at him from their portraits immediately behind the large desk. He looked away hastily, not wanting to think about either of them right now and was thankful for the distraction of conversation in the room even if it appeared as though he was interrupting midway through. To his right sat Professor McGonnagall at her desk as expected but the chair opposite, which Draco had thought he would sit at, was already occupied.

“Thank you Mr. Longbottom for your help with this matter and the ideas you have sound very practical. If you could go and make a start I would be grateful. I shall come along to check your progress in about an hour but as you can see I have company now.” 

McGonnagall looked over towards Draco where he stood near the fireplace and Longbottom turned round and eyed him nervously. Draco sighed inwardly thinking that this was one of the better reactions he would get from his peers and it was probably due to the fact the headmistress was present.

“Er, y-yes, Professor, of course.” Longbottom stammered before swiftly removing himself from the room, looking at his feet as he went.

“My apologies Mr. Malfoy, that meeting with Mr. Longbottom was not scheduled but thank you for being on time. I have much to do today so let’s get started shall we.” She said, gesturing to the now empty chair at her desk. 

Draco took her prompt and sat down.

“Well thank you for making time for me, Professor. I will try not to keep you for longer than necessary.” He said with his cool Malfoy exterior firmly in place thinking that he didn’t really want to be here either.

“Come now, Mr. Malfoy, I didn’t mean anything by it, it was my idea to have you here today after all, I just meant it would have to be a short meeting.” She said, seemingly offended at his cold response. 

When he didn’t reply she carried on. “I fully intend to make time for you over the coming year Mr. Malfoy. I meant what I said at your trial, I regret not having taken a closer role in your education before now. Godric knows, there are a number of things which we all regret.” She said poignantly. “However, it does not do to dwell on the past, we are where we are and we must make the best of things, do you agree?”

“I suppose I do, Professor.” He replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Well then, we may not have seen eye to eye in the past Mr, Malfoy but I do think that we could work together now I fully intend to help secure you a better future than you could have had and in return I would very much like you to help me too.”

Draco took a moment to consider this statement before speaking.

“I do appreciate the support you have provided thus far Professor. I confess I do not understand why you would choose to help me but it seems like you already have so for that I am obliged to thank you. However, I fail to see what I could do to help you.”

“I chose to help you quite simply because you are a student at my school. I care a great deal about Hogwarts and all that pass through its doors. It is my wish that every student leave here with a well rounded education and adequate qualifications to achieve anything they desire in life. Unfortunately, if we were to take into consideration the last year of schooling, you, amongst many others would not meet this requirement. It is for this reason that the teachers and the governors have decided that all who come back this year will repeat their last year of education. Logistically, this is not easy to implement and organise which is why I am relying on the help of Mr. Longbottom and maybe others to get the school ready for this upcoming term.”

Why on earth would she need Longbottom's help of all people, surely there was nothing he could do that the teachers couldn’t? Plus Draco still had no idea how the headmistress would benefit from his help, what did he bring to all this? He had a few questions about how the repeated year would work too. The best thing to do would probably be to let her carry on hoping it would all become clear.

“This year at Hogwarts will be quite different from any other but the changes we are making should be positive rather than negative this time. I shall not go into detail now, it will all become clear once you rejoin your peers here Mr. Malfoy but yes, I am very much hoping you will help me implement the necessary changes at Hogwarts this year.” She ended somewhat dramatically.

Well that was hardly the clarity he was looking for and he wasn’t really sure how he could agree to help in something of which he had no details of. Definitely not something a Slytherin would do. So he chose his next words carefully, as he usually did.

“Despite not being that well informed, Professor, I will admit to being intrigued. I still do not see what assistance you would need from me but I will endeavour to be useful if the need arises.” 

“That is all I ask for now, Mr. Malfoy. We shall speak further on this matter once term has started. As you know, we will need to meet monthly so I can assure the Ministry you are meeting the terms of your probation. For today’s meeting let us simply discuss the first month of your probation.” She looked down at some notes and letters on her desk. “I have been having regular correspondence with Auror Proudfoot and he assures me that you have been compliant with all the security measures at the Manor.”

This didn’t seem like a question but she paused to look at him so he decided to answer anyway.

“Of course, I have no reason not to be.” He stated.

“Good, well I hope you continue to take your security seriously whilst you are at Hogwarts. I know you are an adult now and I have no desire to babysit you, however, I am afraid you shall have stricter measures placed upon you in comparison to your fellow students. For example, I cannot allow you to visit Hogsmeade, this is not a punishment, it is simply for your own safety.”

Draco wasn’t surprised by this, he knew it was coming and as much as he hated being treated like a child he probably wouldn’t really Hogsmeade this year anyway. ‘Fun’ didn’t really have a place in his life anymore so that wouldn’t be any different. Besides, who would he go with if none of the other Slytherins came back, which he doubted they would. 

It was the fact that she claimed it was for his safety that annoyed him the most. He wasn’t worried that he was still a Death Eater target, the worst they could do was torture him and that wouldn’t be anything more than he’d already endured at their hands. If they killed him then that would be an act of mercy. To be honest he was more worried about what the students would do to him inside the castle grounds. The ones he had been forced to torture last year, the ones who had lost loved ones at the hand of Death Eaters and wanted revenge. Would Professor McGonnagall protect him from them? Doubtful. 

As he hadn’t spoken, Professor McGonnagall carried on. “He also tells me that you have been studying every day which I find very welcome news. It seems to me like you are prepared to take your N.E.W.T.S seriously.”

“Yes, Professor, even though I was rather distracted these past two years, I have always taken my studies seriously and I am genuinely grateful for the opportunity to gain my qualifications in full. I intend to focus entirely on my studies this upcoming year.” Draco stated thinking that might possibly be the longest and most honest sentence he’s ever said to her. 

Apparently she was thinking the same as she seemed slightly taken back but pleased with his quick and open response.  
“Excellent. I must confess I didn’t not realise how well you did at your O.W.L.S having only seen the results of my house students previously but I have them here and they are impressive Mr. Malfoy. I believe if you applied yourself you could do very well at N.E.W.T.S. You have shown an aptitude for transfiguration during exams at the very least even if you did not always listen during my classes. I remember being surprised by your result of Exceeds Expectations, clearly your natural talent is all the more impressive if you are not listening to instruction. However, I must warn you that you would do well to pay more attention this year, if you had before, I believe you could have achieved Outstanding.”

“Yes, Professor, I am inclined to agree with you and I intend to be more attentive this year. It would probably please you to know that I am getting lots of practical experience in Transfiguration at the moment as we are redecorating in the Manor.”

“Indeed, that does please me. Of course, I shall not be your teacher this year but I look forward to hearing how your skills have improved.”

“Of course, I had forgotten. Have you managed to find your replacement?” He asked politely and slightly intrigued.

“Unfortunately I have a number of teachers who need replacing this year and recruiting is proving difficult I must admit. Still, I am confident it will all work out in time.” She took a moment to look at her wrist watch. “I am afraid that is all I have time for today. I had hoped to go through your O.W.L results more thoroughly and refresh our minds together on your N.E.W.T classes but we shall have to do that next time. Oh and I didn’t even offer you any tea or biscuits, you must forgive my manners. Oh well, next time we shall have some.”

Draco stood up to leave. “Not a problem, Professor, thank you for your time.”

“You’re welcome.” Professor McGonnagall said as she rose to her feet as well. “I will say again before you leave that I am pleased with the reports from Auror Proudfoot. I firmly believe a promising student stands before me. I am invested in your future now Mr. Malfoy, whether you like it or not and I am determined to make a good man of you yet. Don’t let me down.”

Then she gave him a rare faint smile that Draco felt proud to receive, even if he did not want to admit it. He gave her a polite bow of the head before taking a pinch of floo powder once more and stepped into the fireplace.

“Malfoy Manor.” He spoke clearly before the green flames engulfed him.


	9. The List of Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco doesn't have the best day being forced to confront a growing list of fears but then in the ends he finds that life is not so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not getting a chapter out yesterday, I took a day off from writing for some much needed family time!
> 
> *Slight warning for you- this chapter does contain a brief suicidal thought, it's not long or graphic but it still could be a trigger for some people so just thought I'd mention it. It does turn out OK in the end though don't worry!

The morning after his meeting with the headmistress started as every other with a shower to invigorate him after his single hour of sleep and his mother coming into his sitting room for breakfast. Draco didn’t have much of an appetite this morning, after a particularly bad dream featuring Nagini, but he sat drinking his usual large mug of coffee thankful for the caffeine it contained.

It was partly for this reason that he hadn’t engaged his mother in conversation but also because she had brought a magazine into breakfast as she often did. Neither of them read The Prophet anymore by choice but his mother had asked Leo to arrange a subscription to Magical Interiors on her behalf so that she could read all the latest trends on interior design and get some tips on home renovations. It was only when breakfast was nearly over that she spoke.

“Draco dear, I’ve been thinking that we ought to thank young Mr. Potter for his defence at the Ministry. It’s been over a month now, we should have written already really but no doubt he will forgive our lack of courtesy. Would you write to him on behalf of the family?” She said nonchalantly not even looking up from her magazine.

Draco didn’t say that he’d started a letter to Potter about twenty times over the past month knowing that this was the expected thing to do but this did not make writing his first ever letter to someone considered his enemy for seven years any easier. He’d ended up throwing each draft away. Come to think of it he wouldn’t be surprised if Pinky had told his mother this after emptying his waste paper basket, so this was her way of ensuring it happened.

His mother had instilled in him the importance of social etiquette but his father had constantly reminded him that “Malfoys do not grovel, apologise or say thank you to anyone and definitely not their inferiors” so it was hard to know which voice to listen to. He was brought up thinking that anyone was his inferior but now everything that he once thought to be true seemed wrong to him and it was hard to find his own opinions amongst the jumbled stuff in his messed up head.

Deciding that now wasn’t really the time to contemplate how messed up he was and whose fault that was he simply replied “As you wish Mother”.

“Good, you have the morning off today as I shall not be here so you will have plenty of time for your correspondence.” That got Draco’s attention as he turned to look at her.

“Where are you going?” He said surprised, aware that his mother was not allowed to leave the house.

“I am visiting your father. Auror Williamson is coming to escort me there and back so Auror Proudfoot will be here ready to send off your letter when you are done.” She said in her usual matter-of-fact tone.

Draco hadn’t spared much thought to his father over the past four weeks if he was honest. He hadn't even realised they were allowed to visit him but then he had clearly not been asked to, just mother it seems. He wondered whether she had requested the visit or whether his father had said he didn’t want Draco to come. His mother clearly wasn’t going to clarify this and Draco didn’t ask as he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know.

“I see. Will I see you at lunch?” He asked, trying to be casual.

“Yes, I expect so.” She replied as she stood up and tucked her magazine away under her arm. She walked over to the door but then hesitated and turned back slowly. “Is there any message you wish me to pass onto him?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Draco said quietly, staring into the fireplace.

“OK then. Well in that case I shall see you at lunch.” and with that she was out the door.

Well, there was nothing for it. He could sit there and think about his father or he could write this sodding letter to Potter. Sighing, he called out for Pinky and asked for a fresh french press of strong coffee knowing he would need it for this task and begrudgingly walked over to his desk. His first attempt was awful and he hastily scribbled it out.

_~~Mr. Harry Potter,~~ _

_~~My apologies for not writing sooner but I have been very busy of late.~~ _   
_~~I wanted to formally thank you on behalf of my family for your testimony at our~~ _   
_~~trials, I expect your words helped our situation a great deal.~~ _

_~~You have my gratitude.~~ _

_~~Sincerely~~ _   
_~~Mr. Draco Malfoy.~~ _

It was a complete lie of course, he was hardly busy but what else could he say?  
You have my gratitude?! No he couldn’t write that.  
His second attempt wasn’t much better.

_~~Mr. Potter,~~ _

_~~I’ve been quite busy here and realised I had not yet written to you. It would be~~ _   
_~~remiss of me not to thank you for your defence at our trials and I would not want~~ _   
_~~you to think I’d forgotten my manners.~~ _   
_~~On behalf of myself and my family, thank-you.~~ _

_~~Hope you are well.~~ _

_~~Mr. D. Malfoy~~ _

Hope you are well?! What was he thinking? Besides that was far too polite, since when had he ever shown Potter any manners?

~~_Potter,_ ~~

~~_I suppose it would only be proper for me to thank you for your defence at our trials._ ~~   
~~_I have no idea why you would defend us but it seems my mother and I owe you our freedom._ ~~   
~~_Thank you._ ~~

~~_Malfoy._ ~~

Argh. He couldn’t admit that he owed Potter anything. His next few attempts got worse and worse as he vented his frustration.

~~_Boy-who-lived,_ ~~

~~_Apparently I should be thanking you. I reluctantly admit that you may have helped_ ~~   
~~_mother and I out a great deal at our trials._ ~~   
~~_Cheers._ ~~

~~_Malfoy_ ~~

~~_The Chosen One,_ ~~   
~~_Thank-you, I guess. Looks like you came to my rescue once again_ ~~

~~_Saviour of the Wizarding World,_ ~~   
~~_Apparently your annoying hero complex means you even save Death Eaters_ ~~   
~~_and their mothers so guess I should say thanks._ ~~

~~_Saint Potter,_ ~~   
~~_You’ve really out-done yourself this time saving your Death Eater Schoolboy_ ~~   
~~_enemy from certain imprisonment, so… thanks?!_ ~~

~~_Harry ‘Bloody Perfect’ Potter,_ ~~   
~~_Guess you couldn’t resist rubbing it in my face one more time how completely_ ~~   
~~_fucking perfect you are and how you can get the world to do whatever you bloody_ ~~   
~~_well say._ ~~

He sighed and screwed up all the scribbled out notes. He should really just burn them but after that fateful event in the room of requirement he couldn’t bring himself to conjure even a simple fire spell so he added fire to the mental list of things he was now afraid of right under snakes. Argh, get a grip, right the damn letter and stop being such a coward, he told himself putting his quill to a new sheet of parchment determined that he would just send this one no matter what it said. He decided to address it formally and forget who he was writing to. He was done over-thinking it and it was best to just keep it simple.

Mr. H. Potter,

My apologies on the lateness of this note but it was brought to my attention  
that we had not formally thanked you for your testimony at our trials. I wished to  
remedy this and to let you know that it is appreciated.  
Thank you on behalf of myself and my family.

Mr. D. Malfoy.

Without giving himself time to change his mind he called Pinky in and asked her to deliver the note to Leo to be sealed and sent. Then he went to his bathroom cabinet to get a much needed pain relief potion for his headache before remembering that he didn’t have any left. It wouldn’t take him long to brew one but he hadn’t been under ground to the potions lab yet. It would remind him too much of Severus and he hadn’t really processed his Godfather’s death. Now wasn’t the time to do that either, surely it would be fine to carry on repressing it.

This day really wasn’t off to a great start. Maybe some fresh air would clear his head and with that he thought of the one thing that might actually cheer him up. He went to get changed into some more casual clothes before heading out to the quidditch pitch they had just beyond the gardens.

As he walked across the grounds he realised that he hadn’t been flying in so long and he was determined it would put a smile back on his face. When even was the last time he was on a broom? He thought to himself as he reached the outbuilding and opened the door. Suddenly as he was faced with the neat rack of broomsticks he remembered the last time and slammed the door shut quickly.

He felt the familiar sick feeling building up his stomach as a vision of himself on the back of a broom holding on to Potter for dear life came into his head with the fire swirling up all around them. He collapsed onto the ground shaking. Great, another bloody thing that he used to love was now ruined for him, he thought bitterly. This day really couldn’t get any worse.

His mother had returned by lunchtime as she had promised but Draco couldn’t face anyone and was shutting himself away in his bedroom. When Pinky came to tell him that lunch had been served in the newly restored family sitting room, he asked her to make his excuses to his mother saying he didn’t feel well. Draco half expected his mother to come up and check he was OK but she didn’t. He wasn’t sure if he was pleased about this or not, he didn’t want to talk to her particularly but it would be nice to know someone cared.

He decided to have a bath and carefully drew one up with a blend of essential oils and bath salts. The lack of sleep, the nightmares and the terrible morning he had all finally caught up with him and he lay down into the tub and allowed his body to melt away. As he slipped beneath the water he felt a sense of calm wash over him as if this was where he truly belonged.

Maybe it would be better to just stay here and not come back up. He could do it. He could simply stop breathing and allow the water to take him away. Here, in this moment, he wasn’t hurting and he could stay like this forever and never hurt again. He would never hurt anyone else again either. Except, maybe his mother. It would hurt her, Draco knew that and no matter how much he wanted to take the cowards way out, he could never knowingly hurt her. He came back up out of the water quickly and very ungracefully, choking and spluttering everywhere. Despite the fact the water was still hot he felt cold and shaky and suddenly decided he couldn’t bear to be in here any longer.

He got out and quickly drained the bath and dried himself off not looking back at the bath, not allowing himself to think about what could have happened. Maybe baths were another thing to add to the list now. He laughed out loud at that. He actually laughed. What the bloody hell was wrong with him? Maybe he had finally lost it.

He walked through to his bedroom and saw a single rose on his bedside table next to a small vial of potion. He knew the dusty pink English rose was his mother’s favorite so he assumed the potion was from her. He recognised the potion immediately too. So far, he had been avoiding taking Dreamless Sleep, he knew how addictive it could be and he always thought he would just cope without it. After all, a lack of sleep was hardly a new thing for him now and he didn’t like being dependent on a potion to help.

However, he couldn’t deny how tempting it was now. He wanted to just slip away for a while. Not permanently, he quickly decided looking at the rose again, reminding himself how much his mother did care for him, but it wouldn’t hurt for a little while. Just to lie back and feel nothing, for a time, to escape. He unstopped the vial and drank the contents before sliding into the soft silver sheets of his bed.

*~*

When he woke up he felt better than he had in a long time. He stretched his limbs out thinking that his muscles didn’t feel weak and achy like they usually did. No, he felt strong and… happy, like he didn’t have a care in the world. So this is what it feels like to be well rested, he’d forgotten! Maybe he should start taking more Dreamless Sleep if this was the result, but then he quickly reminded himself that this was precisely why he didn’t want to take it in the first place. This afternoon had been a desperate measure, but he was recovered now so he wouldn’t pretend the morning had never happened and carry on as before.

He was just wondering what the time was, he felt like he’d had a good eight hours sleep, it had only been a small vial, but then that would make it late evening and he could see the bright summer sun poking in through a gap in the curtains. He was just about the check when a house elf in a frilly pink apron appeared at the foot of his bed with a ‘pop’.

“Master Draco, it is good to see you awake again. Forgive me, sir, but Mistress Narcissa is most anxious, she wanted Pinky to tell her as soon as young Master was awake so Pinky has been popping in every hour sir.”

“Oh right, er what time is it Pinky?”

“It is 4 o’clock in the afternoon sir.”

“4? But then, that means I have only had two hours of sleep?”

“Forgive me, Master Draco, it is 4 o’clock on Thursday sir.”

“Thursday?!” Draco said in alarm, sitting up sharply in bed. “So I was asleep for…” he trailed off in disbelief.

“26 hours exactly, sir.” She said bowing and then she paused slightly. “Master looks much better now, if you don’t mind Pinky saying so sir.”

“Merlin, no wonder I’m hungry” He thought out loud, more to himself than to Pinky but to her he turned and said “Yes, thanks Pinky I do feel better.”

“Pinky shall inform Mistress that Master is awake and then Pinky will fetch Master Draco’s favourite sir.”

“Where is she Pinky?”

“In the rose garden, sir. It calms her, Mistress has not eaten either today. Pinky shouldn’t really be telling Master that but Master needs to know that Mistress cares.”

Draco was wondering when Pinky grew to be so bold, she never would have spoken out like that before but he found it strangely refreshing.

“Good, I think I’d like some fresh air. Could you please tell her that I’m ok and that I will come to her in just a moment?”

“Of course, Master Draco sir. Pinky will bring food to the rose garden.”

She bowed quickly and disappeared again with another faint popping sound.

Draco got dressed in simple white linen trousers and a blue V-neck cotton top. It was still long sleeved of course to cover his mark but it was thin enough for the July late afternoon sun and he rarely dressed in robes anymore. He smoothed his hair down and then made his way out into gardens still enjoying how much better he felt.

His mother was waiting for him in the arched hedge entrance to the garden and when he got close she rushed towards him and started fussing about him in a most unusual way.

“Oh Draco dear, it is good to see you, I have been so worried, still you must have needed your sleep, you do look much better, I knew you weren’t right at breakfast yesterday and then you didn’t come for lunch, oh you must be hungry.” She rushed out in one long sentence

“Really, Mother I am fine.” Draco said coldly bating her hands away, suddenly feeling annoyed. Part of him had always longed for a mother than would fuss over him the way he’d seen that Weasley woman do with her brood but now it was actually happening it was quite unnerving and Draco didn’t like it.

Narcissa composed herself, and when she spoke again Draco was soothed by the voice he was more familiar with.

“I’m sorry Draco, I was just worried. I-I do care.” She said slowly before brushing off her show of emotions with a more formal tone. “I believe Pinky is bringing some food out, it is rather lovely here. Would you care to sit with me for a while?” She asked tentatively.

Draco was touched by her care and felt a bit guilty now about his initial response so tried to show some care back in his reply.

“I am sorry I worried you Mother.” He reached out and tucked his arm through hers as he led her back into the rose garden. She was right, it really was rather nice out here. “You were right I suppose, yesterday was… difficult and I believe the rest has done me some good. Thank you. Let us sit, I would like to have your company for a while.” He said equally formally but much warmer than before.

They sat down next to each other on the white stone bench overlooking the roses just in time for the arrival of food. Pinky had indeed got Draco’s favourite, he realised, as the small table in front of him magically doubled in size and a modest Italian feast was placed in front of him dish by dish.

There was a caprese salad with a pesto dressing, a platter of cold Italian meats and cheeses, a basket of fresh focaccia bread and a large bowl of the most creamy looking mushroom risotto. There was even a generous helping of tiramisu for afters which made him smile, a ‘pick-me-up’ indeed. He was immediately reminded of his childhood summer holidays in Italy, some of his fondest memories were there. This was exactly what he needed. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any better a bottle of his favorite Tuscan white wine appeared with two glasses.

Pinky was standing by the table beaming at him. This hadn’t gone unnoticed by his Mother who looked over at the house elf with a raised eyebrow.

“Pinky, this is rather more than the light afternoon tea I asked for.” She said, but her tone was amused rather than scornful.

“Forgive me Mistress, Pinky would never normally disobey but Pinky is thinking that this is what Master Draco be needing Mistress. Pinky is just wanting to see young Master smile.”

“Thank you, Pinky it’s perfect.” Draco said honestly, with a rare genuine smile on his face.

His mother turned towards him and saw his smile matching it with one of her own.

“Yes it is rather.” She agreed before turning back to Pinky. “Pinky, you will never hear me say this again and if you ever repeat it I will deny having said it, but I believe in this instance I was wrong. It seems like you are rather more clever than I have given you credit for and I’m glad you disobeyed me.” She said in a mock-stern force but still unable to keep the smile from her face.

Draco laughed, and actual proper happy laugh this time not the weird deranged laugh from yesterday. The laugh sounded strange to his ears, he couldn’t remember the last time he had heard himself laugh but looking around him he realised it was the happiest he’d been in over two years.

Maybe life could be worth living.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I'm a massive foodie and I love coffee! Those of you reading my other story will know this!  
> I love putting these little fluffy moments in here and there and for me good food with loved ones is just one of the best things to this scene at the end for Draco is like my happy place! <3
> 
> See my Pinterest board to help you set the scene!  
> https://www.pinterest.co.uk/hufflepuffromantic/the-process-of-healing-drarry-fic/


	10. The Potion Master’s Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco hears back from Harry with some interesting news and there is some other surprise correspondence for him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter for you as a treat!  
> I love this chapter so hope you do too!

A week had passed and although Draco still had his down moments, overall life had been slightly more enjoyable since that evening they had sat in the sun and enjoyed their Italian supper. Him and his mother had got through a bottle and a half of wine that evening and Draco, having never seen his mother enjoy more than a polite toast of champagne before was surprised at how relaxed and funny she had become. She had even started telling him some stories of when he was a baby that he’d never heard before. Something seemed to have changed in his Mother and even though she was still somewhat formal and quiet she was definitely warmer and less distant now. She smiled much more freely these days and didn’t retire to her bedroom after dinner anymore. 

Three days ago, Draco had finally asked his mother about her visit to Azkaban, feeling a bit guilty that he hadn’t seen her straight away when she came back. At first she simply said it had gone _“as well as could be expected”_ and hadn’t really elaborated so he still didn’t really know. However, she brought it up a bit more of her own initiative over the past couple of days, casually slipping mentions of his father into conversation. Apparently the conditions there were, in fact, much improved and he had been given books to read and a basic writing set which helped him pass the time. Draco still didn’t know what he was writing but he supposed it didn’t much matter. His mother said he had been quiet during her visit but had otherwise seemed ok. She also said he had asked after Draco but part of him wondered whether that genuinely came from him or whether she’s made that up.

Draco had noticed that wine was being served with dinner more often than not now and although they rarely indulged in more than one glass each it seemed to relax his mother more in the evenings and the consumption wasn’t enough to worry him. They would often go into the family sitting room to play cards or chess together along with Leo before going to bed and Draco liked this new addition to the routine. He was even coping a bit better at night now, sometimes even managing up to four hours of uninterrupted sleep which was rather miraculous. He still had unpleasant dreams which woke him and often stopped him from going back to sleep but they weren’t quite the terrible nightmares they were before. 

This meant it had also been a week since he sent that letter to Potter and he couldn’t help but feel annoyed that he hadn’t received a reply. Admittedly the contents didn’t necessarily require a reply but it was common courtesy to respond wasn’t it? Clearly Potter had never been taught proper etiquette but then that was hardly surprising news to Draco. He wasn’t even sure why he wanted a reply from Potter, what would it even say? And if he did reply would that mean that Draco would need to write back to that one? It couldn’t go on like that, they were hardly going to become regular correspondents. Just when Draco had decided that it would indeed be better if Potter never replied Leo strolled into the library, where Draco was supposed to be studying, carrying a letter.

“So, Potter actually replied then did he?” Draco asked the auror looking at the scroll in his hand.

“Oh, er no actually, it’s not from him.” Leo replied

Well that was strange, who else could it possibly be from. He’d already had his monthly owl from McGonagall and their meeting was scheduled for tomorrow. Leo simply smiled at Draco’s confused look.

“Looks like you do still have a friend out there Draco, told you didn’t I?” He said as he held the letter out to Draco.

He took it from the auror, unscrolled it and began to read. A few moments later he looked back up at Leo who was still standing there smiling at him. 

“Well, I guess every now and then you’re bound to be right.” He said humorously. 

He couldn’t help but smile now either. This certainly improved things and he was quite surprised. The letter had been from Blaise offering a renewal of their friendship. Apparently Blaise had heard that Draco was coming back to Hogwarts (although he didn’t say where he had heard this) and he wanted Draco to know he wouldn’t be the only Slytherin in his year to return, Blaise would be there and apparently so would Daphne. 

Draco was a little nervous about this. For five years the Slytherin group in their year had been pretty close with Draco in the middle like their ring master but a rift had started in sixth year between those whose families were Death Eaters and those who were trying to remain neutral. Vince and Greg and Theo had still looked to Draco and Draco had used them when he needed them but mostly had tried to keep to himself, he didn’t want to be their leader anymore. Blaise, (whose real father had died when he was very young and since then had a string of step-fathers) had tried to remain neutral too and had distanced himself from the other boys to spend more time with the girls. He guessed that Blaise and Daphne were quite close now and he didn’t really know where he fitted in. 

Draco knew he’d have to make up for pushing him away in sixth year but it seemed like Blaise still genuinely cared about Draco on some level so that was a good start. It would be really nice to have a friend, Draco thought honestly, even if it sounded a bit pathetic. Well, he had been offered an olive branch and he would be a fool not to take it, he thought as he started to write his reply.

It was two days later when Leo handed him another letter, thinking it was from Blaise Draco smiled but he’d forgotten he was still waiting for another reply.

“Looks like Potter finally replied to you.” Said the auror giving the piece of parchment over to Draco. “I’m assuming it’s ok for you to have it but to be honest I couldn’t really make out half the words. He’s got awful handwriting hasn’t he? Still he can’t be perfect I suppose.” Leo said in his usual half-joking tone.

“No, trust me, he is most definitely not perfect.” Draco said, looking at the scroll now in his hands with what Draco could only assume was his own name in the slanty black scrawl. “And yes, you’re correct, his handwriting truly is atrocious, why does that not surprise me?” He said dryly.

“Well, have fun trying to read it! Let me know if you want to reply.” Leo smiled and walked away.

As Draco unscrolled the parchment a torn page of newspaper fell out of it with a note attached that he just about managed to decipher.

_Malfoy,_

_Can’t imagine you subscribe to The Prophet these days and I can’t say I blame you but I thought you should see this article even if it isn’t written in exactly the way I would have wanted. (Sorry about the mention of you, I tried to get them to take it out but turns out I still can’t control what they print, ignore it)._

_Potter._

Suddenly Draco was looking into a familiar pair of black eyes and reading the

Newspaper article underneath the picture.

  
  
  


**_Snape: Dumbledore’s loyal spy or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s_** **_right hand man?_ **

**_The truth comes out at last!_ **

**_Harry Potter clears the name of the Death Eater Severus Snape as he is_ ** **_posthumously_ ** ******_awarded an Order of Merlin first class._**

**_-Also features news of the Malfoys and other Death Eaters._ **

_Severus Snape was a known Death Eater in both the first and second wizarding wars. After the first he was acquitted based on the evidence of Albus Dumbledore and allowed to carry on his long serving role as potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Dumbledore continuously claimed that Snape was a spy for the Order of the Phoenix however his true allegiance has always been doubted. Indeed, when it was rumoured after Dumbledore's death that Snape himself had cast the killing curse there seemed to be no doubt whose side the so-called spy was really on. He was then appointed Headmaster of Hogwarts in Dumbledore’s place and brought known Death Eaters to the school to teach._

_The body of Severus Snape was discovered after the Battle of Hogwarts in May, away from the main source of the fighting. It showed obvious signs of a snake attack which many assumed to be the work of You-Know-Who’s infamous serpent. Had he discovered that his most loyal servant was in fact Dumbledore’s man all along? The true nature of Severus Snape’s death is still not widely known but the Saviour of the Wizarding World himself claims to have witnessed it. Harry Potter has been seen going in and out of the Ministry several times over the last month having already given evidence in support of Narcissa Malfoy, wife of known Death Eater Lucius Malfoy and their son Draco Malfoy who is also rumoured to carry the Dark Mark. No one knows exactly what was said in the trials as the witches and wizards present were all sworn to secrecy but the senior Mr. Malfoy has only been given a year of incarceration when many believed he should be continuing to serve the life sentence he was given after the attack on the Ministry in June 1996. Mrs Malfoy and Mr. Malfoy junior were seen leaving the Ministry in the presence of an Auror and although their exact living conditions remain unknown, some were not happy to see them seemingly walking out free._

_Many people have speculated about The Chosen One’s reasons for coming out in support of these infamous public figures as it is not clear exactly what evidence he has but the Ministry obviously trusts him and it appears the Golden Boy has been at it again, this time speaking out in defence of Severus Snape. It is not widely known exactly what happened between Harry Potter and You-Know-Who in their final duel, despite the fact that a reasonable group of people apparently witnessed it. Rumours have spread that in their final confrontation Potter told The Chief Death Eater (as named by the famous Potterwatch last year) that Severus Snape was never really loyal to him. Will we ever find out the true extent of their conversation? We at The Prophet are still working on gaining evidence so keep reading, hopefully a witness will eventually speak out!_

_Potter disappeared into the Ministry again yesterday coming out alongside the Minister himself an hour later to issue a statement which has been written here in full._

_“I would like to state for the record that Severus Snape was murdered on the 2nd May by Lord Voldemort. I was with him when he died and he gave me certain memories of his life as a double agent that confirmed what side he was truly on. In honour of his memory I will not comment on the details of what I saw in the pensieve nor will I answer any questions, I have given my evidence in private to the Minister and a small team of aurors and they are satisfied with it. What I wish to say now is that Severus Snape was a very brave and honourable man, much more so than I ever realised while he was alive. He was loyal to Dumbledore and loyal to the Order of the Phoenix until the very end even when the Order, myself included, lost faith in him. Snape protected me more times in my life than I was aware of and he had a crucial role in securing our final victory against Voldemort. I cannot stress enough how difficult and important his part was and how well he played it. Severus Snape was a hero. Thank you.”_

_The Minister of Magic then stepped up to address the small crowd gathered outside the Ministry yesterday afternoon. He seconded Potter’s statement and announced “in light of the overwhelming evidence Severus Snape is hereby_ _posthumously_ _awarded an Order of Merlin first class”. Well, isn't that a turn out for the books? Certainly not the way many predicted a hearing of Snape’s life to have gone. When the Minister was asked what would happen with the other escaped Death Eaters when they were captured and whether Potter would swoop in and defend them too, Shacklebolt replied “In the case of Severus Snape, he has not been a true Death Eater for over a decade, in the case of the Malfoys, they defected to the right side during the final battle and have been very cooperative with the Ministry. I want to make it absolutely clear that the Ministry and Harry Potter do not support any other Death Eaters or Death Eater activity. I also wish to state on record something which I have said many times before, anyone, and I do mean anyone who is arrested under my rule shall have a fair trial before any decision is made about their sentencing no matter who they are. This is the only way to restore true justice.”_ _(see pages 9-10 for an article about the newly reformed Wizengamot and changes the Ministry has made to the department of magical law enforcement)_

_The minister also gave us an update on other known Death Eaters, “As you know, it was announced last week that Fenrir Greyback has indeed been captured and has now received the Dementors Kiss. I am also pleased to announce today that new information has led to the capture of Thorfinn Rowle who has been given a life sentence in Azkaban after his trial. Macnair, Goyle and Nott still remain at large and the Ministry is appealing for any information on their whereabouts. The public is to remain alert and report any suspicious figures or activity to the Ministry immediately.”_

  
  


Draco sat for a while processing the article, thinking about how little he really knew Severus Snape and how many details about the war he was still lacking. He wondered how Potter came to be with Severus when he died if Nagini had killed him. He wondered what on earth the man could have shown Potter in his memories to convince him and he wondered again truly which side of the war his Godfather had been on. He wondered a great many things. 

Potter has obviously convinced the Ministry that Severus was on the right side all along and Draco finds himself hoping that is true. Maybe one day he could ask Potter to fill in the blanks for him, possibly, if they were ever able to have a decent conversation. Is that likely though? At the very least he knew Severus deserved an Order of Merlin if he really was a spy for the Order all along. It takes a great deal of courage to go behind the Dark Lord like that. Draco shudders at the thought of his former evil master. 

He’s not thrilled about his part in the article, particularly as now everyone would be looking for any signs of the Dark Mark on his arm anywhere he went. Although that isn’t anything new really. He’s been hiding it on and off for two years, terrified that one side would find out he had it and the other side would find out he was hiding it. At least now he only had to worry on one front so if anything it was an improvement. 

It was one thing to be the son of a Death Eater, it was another thing entirely to be one yourself. Everyone knew about the former of course and had known that at school for years and some had even correctly accused Draco of being one too last year but he had neither confirmed nor denied it. He hated his mark, he couldn’t bear to see it and he would never be naked longer than necessary because of it. He wanted so badly to be rid of it but didn’t know if it was even possible. Any books on the matter would be considered dark and have therefore been taken out of the Manor library and he didn’t have anyone he could ask. Severus would have known, he thought, picking up the newspaper to look at his face again, he would have asked him if he were here.

He reread the note from Potter attached to the article, it seemed strange that his enemy (or should that be his former enemy now?) was apologising to him. Why would Potter care what the public thought of Draco? Had he really tried to get them to remove his name from the paper? Looking back at the papers on his lap he remembered that there had been an actual letter from Potter which the article had been wrapped in so he put the thoughts of his mark behind him and read that one.

  
  


_Malfoy,_

_Sorry my writing isn’t as elegant as yours, never had letter writing lessons! But don’t worry about it. Like Kingsley says, everyone deserves a fair trial and I happen to agree. Just doing my bit, seems like that’s part of the job now._

_Guess, I’ll see you at school. Maybe this year we can try not to hate each other. There’s been enough hate in the past couple of years and I just don’t have the energy for it anymore._

_Potter._

_P.S. Sorry about the delayed reply, held off on sending that note until the news on Snape came out cos I thought you might want to know. Hope you don’t mind me sending it to you. I have arranged a small funeral for Snape next Wednesday afternoon. It will be private, I got permission from Kingsley but he’s too busy to attend. No one else knows about it apart from Professor McGonagall who will be there. I’ll be there too obviously and some of the other teachers may come. I'm not really sure but I haven’t asked anyone else. If you and your mother want to come then I’m sure that would be ok. Just let me know and I can arrange it with the Ministry. I’ll stay out of your way and no one there would bother you, you should be allowed to pay your respects if you want to but no big deal if you don’t._

  
  


Well, it seems like Draco was constantly getting bombarded with more things to process. He wasn’t really sure if the first line was a dig at his pureblood education or a genuine compliment/apology. Hmm, best just ignore that it wasn’t important. The bit about it being _‘part of the job’_ was interesting. Reading between the lines he’d almost say that Potter was frustrated and a bit bitter about being the Ministry Golden Boy. He thought Potter would love that, arrogant saviour poster boy that he was. Maybe Draco doesn’t know him as well as he thought… or maybe he’s just overthinking it. But then that last line about him not having the energy anymore seemed quite defeatist too. Draco was picturing the broken man he’d seen alone by the lake after the battle and for the first time began thinking about what life was really like for Potter now. Maybe he was suffering too just like Draco, maybe they all were. 

Guess he’ll probably have the chance to find out. He was convinced Potter and his gang of heroes wouldn’t be back at School. Surely no one was making them go? They could walk into any job they wanted now and no one would give a damn about their qualifications. Interesting that he’s going back. Draco doesn't really know how he feels about that. He was hoping for a year of relative peace where he could just keep his head down and focus on his work without Potter getting in the way, but then maybe Potter would just leave him alone now. That’s what he meant right? ‘ _Maybe...we can try not to hate each other’._ Draco couldn’t bring himself to hate Potter anymore anyway. 

How could he hate the person who got rid of the thing that made Draco’s life a living hell. Doesn’t mean he _liked_ Potter but if he was honest with himself, he hadn’t hated Potter in a while. He realised that when he saw him at the Manor last Easter. If he’d hated him he would have gladly handed him in but not even Potter deserved that. Potter had killed the _thing_ Draco feared more than any other. He still couldn’t fathom _how_ he had done it sometimes but Merlin knows he was pleased that he had, he couldn’t deny that. 

He wouldn’t pick a fight with Potter now even if he wanted to, he had better sense than that, but he actually understood what Potter meant and really he didn’t have the energy to harbour that kind of hate anymore either. So that was his truce with Potter sorted, now for the other matter. Snape was actually going to have a funeral and they could go… if they wanted. It wasn’t really a choice though was it? He knew he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t go. Nothing for it really, he’d better go find Mother and talk it through with her. Rising to go and find her he thought maybe it was finally time to confront how he felt about the death of his old Potions Master.

  
  


*~*

  
  


Potter had been true to his word. The funeral was a very private affair in the small graveyard of Cokeworth near Snape’s old house. An old short wizard who Draco didn’t recognise had stood in front of the hole in the ground, in it a plain black coffin, and conducted the funeral. McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout all came to represent Hogwarts and they stood at the front on the left. On the front on the right stood Potter, very much alone. Obviously he knew that Potter would be there but he did wonder why he was alone again. No one had seemed disturbed by the presence of Draco and his Mother as they stood slightly further back from the small group before them alongside their Auror escort. Leo was there of course but when Draco had written back to Potter to say that he and his mother would indeed like to attend Potter had informed them that Auror Williamson would come and escort them both to the funeral too. Still, it could be worse. Williamson was alright. 

The whole thing was over quite quickly. It was simple, understated but respectful and Draco thought it suited Severus. Professor McGonagall had said a few words but Draco hadn’t really been listening, he had been processing his own grief for the man he had known all his life. The teachers left as soon as it was done, each giving Draco a polite nod of the head but nothing more. Potter had spent some time looking at the simple headstone that appeared once the words had been spoken. He had drawn out his wand, muttered something and conjured a single white lily and placed it on the fresh mound of dirt that now covered the coffin. Draco wondered what had been going through his head and what the significance of the lily was but he respected his privacy. Potter had turned to look back at Draco for the first and only time then and had given him a sad sort of half smile before apparating away. The wizard who conducted the funeral had gone too so that left Draco, his mother and the two aurors. 

His mother had stepped up first conjuring an elegant floral wreath of rare dark roses symbolising thankfulness to the deceased without a word. Then she had turned back, placed a hand on Draco’s shoulder briefly and walked to where the aurors stood to wait for him. That left Draco alone near the grave for a few moments to say goodbye. It was strange. He didn’t really _miss_ his Godfather as such, they weren’t really that close. Professor Snape didn’t get _close_ to anyone, but he had been a consistent figure in Draco’s life and it felt weird knowing he wasn’t going to be at Hogwarts this year. 

If he was honest with himself Draco always felt incredibly guilty for the way he’d treated the man recently, especially during sixth year. Looking back, he realised he had only been trying to help but Draco had been too scared to accept it so. He’d pushed everyone away that year, he thought he had to cope on his own. When he was Headmaster, Snape had done his best to protect Draco from the Carrows, he knew that and was grateful for it but the two of them hadn’t really talked, they never really reconciled. He regrets that now, there is so much he would ask him if he had the chance. 

Then he thought about the portrait of Snape in the office that was now McGonnagall’s… maybe he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP Severus Snape. <3
> 
> So Hogwarts starts next chapter! Finally! For those of you who have been waiting for it! :D


	11. The United House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the 1st of September and Draco dresses in his Slytherin robes again to go meet the Headmistress and find out exactly how the repeated 7th year system is going to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know the whole 'united house' thing has been done so many times in '8th year fics' but I really put a lot of thought into all the logistics and what I think McGonnagall would realistically do. Hopefully you find it a fresh take especially as they are technically still all 7th years students.  
> More will be explained next chapter in McGonnagall's speech to the whole school in case it's still confusing but I know this chapter provides a lot of clarity!

The 1st of September arrived quite quickly and Draco found himself dressing in his old Slytherin school robes before he knew it. It felt strange putting them back on again, especially here in his bedroom but he was due at the school in ten minutes so he thought it best to put them on first. Draco was privately grateful when he realised he would be spared platform 9¾ this year. There would be too many people there. He didn’t want to see the crying mothers on the platform saying goodbye to their children as if they didn’t want to ever let them out of their sight again. He didn’t want to catch the eye of the anxious fathers looking around constantly still on the look out for any potential danger. It had been four months since the battle of Hogwarts but Draco understood that wasn’t enough time for people to trust that this was a time of peace. He was still avoiding the newspapers but he knew from his conversations with Leo that there had still been a number of incidents this summer. 

One member of the wizarding public had spotted the well known Death Eater Macnair on the run in the forest whilst out walking and instead of alerting the ministry he had decided to take measures into his own hands. Macnair was now a permanent resident of St. Mungos and the other wizard was doing time in Azkaban. Apparently this has caused a public uproar with people claiming he shouldn’t have been punished for attacking a Death Eater but Shacklebolt had wanted to strongly discourage this show of vigilante justice and had reminded the public that catching Death Eaters was the job of qualified aurors only. Draco also knew that despite the information his father had given the Ministry, some of the other escaped Death Eaters had yet to be caught. He would hate to see the reaction of the other parents if they knew a Death Eater was aboard the Hogwarts Express alongside all their beloved children. No, it was better this way, he thought to himself as he stepped out of the floo network and into Professor McGonagall’s office again.

This was the third time he’d been here in three months. The last time being their second probation interview in which they had gone over his O.W.L results in full, confirmed his N.E.W.T subjects and summarised the work he’d done for them up to that point. He was taking seven subjects which was rather more than the average five. The headmistress informed him that some students were taking six but only one other student was taking seven. (Draco thought he could guess pretty accurately who that was!) The Professor warned him that this would mean a lot of hard work but she seemed genuinely pleased with the progress he’d made so far in his solitary studies. He was well caught up on all the sixth year work he’d missed out on (as he had been pretty distracted that year) so she seemed pretty confident that he could manage the normal seventh year work. 

He was actually strangely looking forward to doing his seventh year properly. The education he had received last year wasn’t exactly to Hogwarts usual standards. Draco hadn’t bothered with any of his school work. There had been no point, he’d been pretty convinced that either the Dark Lord would take over the world (horrible thought) or the war would be over at some point in which case Draco would either be dead or put in Azkaban, none of these options particularly needed N.E.W.T.S. Besides there had been no consequences of not doing homework last year. Any student who got detention had to be reported to the Carrows for punishment so the other teachers had simply stopped giving detentions in order to try and protect the students. Some of them had even stopped setting homework. Nobody had cared about exams, they had all just been trying to survive.

Draco had realised by now that he was alone in the Headmistresses office which was strange as she had specifically asked him to arrive early before all the other students. Thinking back to the thoughts he had at the funeral a couple of weeks ago he looked up at the portrait of Severus Snape to find the black eyes looking back at him. He wasn’t sure he was ready to talk to him yet though which was just as well as the office door had just opened and in walked the Headmistress.

“Mr. Malfoy, I apologise for keeping you waiting” 

“Not at Professor, I have only just arrived.”

“Well thank you for coming early, I have actually asked all your year to come early. There are things I would like to discuss with you before the other students arrive. Do follow me.”

Draco was surprised, he expected to be sitting down and having another one-to-one with the Headmistress. He wasn’t sure if he was quite ready to face his peers yet, but at least he didn’t have to see the whole school at once. Wondering what McGonagall needed to say to them all together, he realised that he was following her into The Great Hall. He paused in the entrance. The room looked very different to when he was last here. He tried to block out the vision of all the dead bodies in rows across the floor but it was hard to do. The walls and the ceiling had all been restored to their former glory and the house tables and banners all stood proudly where they had been before. He glanced over to the Slytherin table and he hoped that he would feel at home once he was sat there again. There was no one sat there now though and as Draco looked up down the middle of the hall to where McGonagall was leading them he saw where he was expected to sit. 

Beneath the raised stage at the end of the hall where the teachers table stood was a table that wasn’t usually there. It ran the width of the hall in parallel to the one of the teachers rather than the four house tables than were lengthways. Annoyingly it was already occupied too and Draco could now feel all the eyes on him as McGonagall had reached the head of the table.

“Come along Mr Malfoy, do sit down” She called out to him.

Great, he has stupidly drawn even more attention to himself now. He forced his feet to move in the direction of the table eyeing up who was there and where he could sit as he did so. His eye was immediately drawn to that messy black head of hair. Of course, typical that he would spot Potter first, but then Draco had always been able to spot Potter in a crowd. He was sitting on the end of the bench closest to the teacher’s table and next to where McGonagall now stood. Next to Potter was the red headed Weasely of course and Granger was next to him. Suddenly Draco felt that familiar feeling of hatred and anger stirring up inside him. He wanted to push it down but he couldn’t. Seeing the three of them together again in their stupid Gryffindor robes brought all the old feelings back and it actually felt good to feel something this strongly again, he felt alive! He could sense the notorious Malfoy sneer creep back onto his face like muscle memory. He looked into those green eyes expecting to see the familiar Potter scowl looking back at him. Except it wasn’t there. Potter was looking at him alright but it wasn’t an expression that he’d seen before. It was a tired, pleading look, a look that just said  _ ‘please don’t’  _ and then the words of Potter’s letter came back into his head. ‘ _ There’s been enough hate in the past couple of years and I just don’t have the energy for it anymore.’  _ That sentence was written on his face and just like that Draco’s feeling of hate went away and he could feel his face set back into neutral. 

He was close to the table by now and he could feel panic start to rise as he still didn’t know where he was going to sit. He hadn’t really taken a good look at anyone else but he could see a small group of red robes all next to each other down the far end of the table and about the same number of blue robes taking up some spaces either side in the middle. The bench furthest from him had four yellow robes at the other end all sitting together in a row. Finally his eye caught the back of some green robes and relief set in as he spotted a gap in between Blaise and Daphne opposite the Hufflepuffs. He realised they must have saved this space for him as Blaise knew he was coming and he felt a rare rush of gratitude towards them and he climbed into the seat as quickly and as quietly as he could.

“Thanks” he muttered to them as McGonagall started to speak and all eyes went back to her.

“Right, now that everyone is here. Let’s get started.” She addressed them all in the familiar Scottish voice as she launched into her clearly rehearsed speech.

“I apologise for not giving you the opportunity to ride the Hogwarts Express this year but I have a number of important things I need to say to you before the rest of the school arrives and as you can all now apparate into Hogsmeade it made facilitating this little meeting a lot easier.” 

Ah, of course, so they all walked up together then. Perfect, no doubt they would all now know why he had been escorted in separately like the criminal he was, Draco thought bitterly as the Headmistress continued. 

“I want to thank you all for coming back. I know that your year class has reduced in number somewhat but it is good to have you here and I am grateful for each and every one of you for putting your faith back into the school. I realise that this year will be different for a number of reasons. Firstly, you are all adults and although you shall be students this year I realise that you don’t deserve to be treated as children. As such, I shall allow you certain privileges.” 

A couple of people looked around excitedly as they listened to the Headmistress’ words. 

“At weekends you shall be permitted to visit Hogsmeade, as long as you return to the castle by midnight. I realise it would be pointless for me to forbid you from drinking alcohol whilst you are there but I do trust that you will be sensible and do not over-indulgence. Anyone, and I mean  _ anyone _ , found to be intoxicated on school grounds at  _ any _ time will have the privilege of such trips revoked for the rest of the school year. Do I make myself clear?” She asked sternly.

A general chorus of “Yes, Professor” followed.

“Good.” Professor McGonagall stated.

“Professor, Is midnight our curfew then?” One of the Grffyindors asked. Draco suppressed a twinge of guilt when he realised who it was and when he’d last seen him.

“Curfew isn’t necessarily the word I would use Mr. Thomas.” The professor answered before elaborating. “You are to remain in the school grounds at all times from Monday to Friday. I would strongly recommend you remain in your dormitory after eleven in the evening but I am treating you as adults so you do not officially have a curfew  _ at the moment _ . On Saturdays and Sundays you may venture to Hogsmeade village only at your leisure but you have to be back  _ on school grounds by midnight _ at which time you would be  _ advised  _ to go straight to your dormitory. That is what I meant. If it becomes obvious that my decision to treat you thus is a mistake then I will not hesitate to enforce a curfew. I will of course remind you that you are primarily here to do your N.E.W.T.S. This year will be tough for you all. Your workload will be immense so you will need as much as your free time to study as possible. Your teachers will push you and you, of course, shall still be disciplined if you fail to hand in your assignments on time. So you should do wisely to remember that if you visit the Three Broomsticks every weekend it is unlikely to do your school work, or indeed your future any good.”

Draco was only half listening to this as he knew he wasn’t allowed these privileges anyway. He did, however, notice McGonagall shifting to a softer tone as she continued.

“I also realise that some of you may find it harder to be away from your families this year. You may use the weekends to visit them if you wish, I simply ask that you let me know in advance. I can only apologise for the circumstances that have led the examinations to be cancelled for the last two years and I hope that we can all have a better year together this year and you will all leave here with qualifications that will help you on your way into your working life. However, it is not just about the qualifications. This past year has been hard on us all and I know it is not easy stepping foot in this castle again but I hope that by giving you this extra year here it will help us all to heal and move forward. Some of you were here at school last year for parts or all of it and some of you weren’t, each of you has been through a different experience during the war that is unique to you and no one here can know exactly what another has been though. I want you all to remember that, we are not here to judge anyone’s past actions. However, at the same time we have all been through the same thing as well so hopefully that means we can understand one other. I want us to all be able to support one another.”

Draco knew that McGonagall’s speech would have to touch on the war but he expected it to make him feel uncomfortable instead he found the words soothing. She was exactly right, they had all been through the same thing but in a different way, he hadn’t really thought of it that way before. There was a tiny spark of hope in what she said that maybe he wouldn’t be judged more harshly than his peers around him for being back here, but then again, of course he would. Was anyone really going to bother to  _ ‘understand’ _ or  _ ‘support’ _ him? Doubtful.

McGonagall had taken a short pause and was looking around the table at them all. No one was speaking, not even whispering. Some looked sad, others thoughtful a couple were even frowning slightly but no one looked bored, everyone was taking in every word. She carried on.

“It is for this reason that I am glad you are all here. I believe it might be rather good for the younger students here to have you. They will look up to you even more than they would normally look up to the seventh year students because of what you have been through. The teachers are always here to support the students but sometimes the students don’t want to listen to the old hags like us.” She said with a bit of a smile. “I confess that I am hoping you, as young adults, can help bridge the gap between the students and the teachers. I am rather relying on you to set a good example to the rest of the school and assist me and my fellow teachers in our new path forward here at Hogwarts. I will admit that I have found recruitment hard and a couple of the empty teaching positions were only secured last week. Some of the new teachers are not that much older than yourselves and they have also been through a war. They may need your support too. I trust that you will not let me down on any of these fronts.” 

The smile had gone now and was replaced with a meaningful look.

“I am also extremely pleased that we have representatives of all four of the houses here. The current seating arrangement is natural of course but I must confess myself slightly disappointed with how the colours are clustered. That brings me to my next matter. You will no doubt be aware of the articles that have graced The Prophet over the last month. They have been very unkind to the Slytherin house.” 

Draco had been avoiding The Prophet so had no idea what she was talking about but he wasn’t exactly surprised to hear it. Of course the Slytherins would get the blame for the war, all the Death Eaters had come from that house, apart from Wormtail. He shifted in his seat slightly as he could tell that Blaise and Daphne were a bit uncomfortable too with the looks that were now coming their way.

“I will be addressing this matter with the rest of the school shortly but as I have already expressed a desire for your cooperation I want to make the situation absolutely clear to you all first.” McGonagall carried on. “There have been all sorts of rumours and suggestions flying round about disbanding the Slytherin house, or not sorting the first years. Hogwarts students have been sorted into the four founding houses by the sorting hat for hundreds of years and that is not about to change. Certainly not under my leadership anyway. Whilst it is true that Lord Voldemort-” A couple of people still flinched, Draco included. “-recruited almost exclusively from Slytherin house it does not mean that all Slytherins are evil. I hope I am making myself clear on this. Slytherin house does not deserve to be punished for the actions of one evil man and his choice of followers. Mr. Potter and I have discussed this and I have asked him to share a few things with you.”

McGonagall conjured a chair and sat down at the head of the table and all eyes went to Potter. He looked a bit nervous and uncomfortable with this but started speaking anyway from where he sat.

“Er, yeh thanks Professor. Erm, I’m not going to stand up for anything, I don’t want to make a speech and I certainly didn’t want to share this with the whole school but I wanted you guys to know a few things.” He cleared his throat and carried on more confidently. “Someone told me just before I started Hogwarts that  there's not a single witch or wizard who went bad who wasn't in Slytherin. The naive eleven year old me let that old prejudice define how I thought about Slytherins despite not personally knowing much about them but I know that not to be true now. The person who sold out my parents to Voldemort was in Gryffindor, it was because of him that they died that night. You all know now that Snape was actually on our side. He was one of the bravest men I have ever known. I realise that sounds weird when you all know how much we hated each other but I know a lot more now than I did when I was last wearing these school robes. Snape was a Slytherin and a good wizard, proof that it is possible. Also Slughorn is a Slytherin who was on the run for a year because he knew that Voldemort was trying to recruit him and then he ended up fighting against him to protect this school. Think about that, think about all the Slytherins who didn’t join the Death Eaters when it would have been easy for them to do so. I know it’s not easy but maybe we can kind of start over and get to get to know each other for who we are rather than just what house we’re in. You know what I mean?”

Draco was reminded of the conversation he had with Leo and it suddenly hit him that Leo and Potter might be quite similar. Merlin, he actually thought he could be friends with Leo, did that mean he could be friends with Potter too? Surely not, they would never be  _ friends _ but he could appreciate what Potter was saying. After all he was sat next to two Slythethrins who had done nothing bad during the war. McGonagalls’ chosen spokesperson was looking around nervously now trying to gauge a reaction to his words. Nobody spoke but there were a lot of raised eyebrows and questioning looks. Potter carried on.

“Look, I know what you’re all thinking and it might seem hypocritical of me to start sticking up for Slytherins now when I’ve probably hated the lot of them the most but I recently told a Slytherin that there’s been enough hate going on the past couple of years without us adding to it and I meant it. We don’t all have to like each other but let’s at least be civil. If you don’t want to be friends with a Slytherin then don’t be friends with them but make sure it’s because you know enough about them to genuinely not like them, not just because they are wearing green. Come to think of it, that’s true for any house. I’m sure you don’t like  _ all _ the members of your own do you? I know I don’t, McLaggen is the perfect example of that.” A few people laughed but McGonagall gave a little cough. “Er, anyway, Professor McGonagall’s right, we’ve all been through the same shit -er, sorry Professor-”

“That word may be appropriate in this situation Mr. Potter but don’t let me catch you saying it in front of the younger students” Professor McGonagall chimed in but she didn’t seem cross.

“-er no, Professor, of course. What I meant was, we’ve been through one war. Let’s not start another one amongst ourselves.”

“Well said Harry!” Came the voice of a pompous Hufflepuff Draco recognised as Macmillan and a few others nodded their heads in agreement. 

“Yeh, I agree with Harry.” Longbottom spoke up proudly.

There seemed to be a whole mix of reactions ranging from enthusiastic nods to disbelieving scowls, the worst being on the face of a Ravenclaw and Draco knew why. It was hardly a secret last year how badly the Carrows had tortured Micheal Corner when he’d tried to release that first year. Most of the other Ravenclaws around him were looking sombre. Smith, who was next to Macmillian, was looking pretty cross too but the two Hufflepuff girls were just looking at each other nervously. No one was looking at the Slytherins except for Potter. Draco noticed by the side of him that Blaise gave Potter a courteous nod of the head in silent gratitude and he could see Daphne giving a little nervous smile in Potter’s direction. 

The Gryffindor reactions were the most interesting to him. Draco assumed they would all fall in line behind their leader as Longbottom had done but apparently not. Thomas had a skeptical look as if to say ‘yeh right, like that’s going to happen’. Granger was looking around from one person to another as if trying to read everyone’s reactions but not actually giving one herself. Ironically a very Slytherin move, Draco smiled to himself. Weasley, however, was determinedly staring at the spot on the table in front of him and looking very uncomfortable, the tips of his ears flushing red. Well, that’s fine by him, Draco knew he didn’t like Weasley because he’s  _ Weasley _ not just because he was wearing red. 

McGonagall stood up once more and all eyes went back to her. 

“Thank you, Mr. Potter for those words. I hope you were all listening carefully. I am rather hoping for more inter-house unity this year and as I said, I am expecting you to all lead by example.” She eyed them all in warning. “This brings me onto the next matter. I am sure you are all wondering where you shall be sleeping this year as we shall need your dormitory space for the new first year students. It may have been possible to extend the house common rooms, I admit, but some of your house year dormitories would be very small so it hardly seems worth the effort.” 

That was probably true, thought Draco, Daphne for example was the only Slytherin girl and Granger the only Gryffindor one. 

“I rather favour a different solution for many reasons.” McGonnagall carried on.

More nervous glances were exchanged. Draco echoed this sentiment, he had been particularly worried about the arrangements. He didn’t particularly want anyone to hear his nightmares, or see his mark in the showers. The next words out of McGonagall's mouth did not make him feel better. 

“It has been decided to best demonstrate an example of inter-house unity, you shall all form one small new house and have a shared common room this year.”

There was a collective groan and one cry of outrage from somewhere.

“You can’t be serious!”

“I assure you Mr. Smith that I am quite serious. Need I remind you that your place at this school is a privilege and you have been invited to come back to receive your qualifications. Anyone that cannot put petty squabbles aside and live in peace with each other in a time like this is not worthy of a place.” McGonagall said fiercely in a voice they had not yet heard today. 

Smith shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He looked like he had a great deal more to say but for the moment he shut his mouth.

“As I was saying” McGonagall continued calmly. “You shall have a shared common room this year. This will also allow you to enjoy the privileges I have given you as adults without affecting the younger students. Also, you shall have all your classes together but given your year group is rather smaller now you may not have anyone in your former house in your lesson with you if they are not sharing the same subjects so this will give you all a common room in which to study together in.”

It was quiet as people seemed to be thinking this through. No doubt there was logic in it from the teachers point of view but could they really all live harmoniously amongst each other? Draco doubted it. He feared what it would mean.

“Excellent. Now that we have that sorted out I do believe a change of colour is in order no?”

Some confused looks were shared until McGonagall clapped her hands and they all gasped as their robes changed in front of their eyes. A second later they were all sitting there in matching robes. The coloured trim of their black robes was now purple and the stripes on their ties were purple and white. Where the logo of their house had been before the Hogwarts Crest was now in its place with all four houses represented on it.

“Much better I’d say!” McGonagall said, smiling at them.


	12. The ‘Not-so-welcome’ Feast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome feast, sorting etc... plus the united seventh year house check out their new common room and dorms.

The atmosphere was tense to say the least around the table of the new united house as the time for the rest of the school to arrive drew near. McGonagall had left now but other footsteps and voices were slowly filling the Great Hall as the rest of the teachers were taking their seats and the table behind them. A few whispered conversations were being had amongst the seventh year students but no one had addressed the group as a whole yet. It seems old habits die hard. They were all wearing the same robes now but the small gaps on the benches were still obvious as a divide between the old house groups. 

When Draco spoke, he only did so quietly to Blaise and Daphne. “Thank you for saving me a seat. It’s nice to see you both” 

“No problem, we’re still Slytherins no matter what anyone else. We’ve got to stick together.” Blaise replied.

Daphne smiled at them both but she was quiet. Draco had opened his mouth to speak but Macmillian’s loud voice fell over the whole table once more.

“So, what do we all make of this situation then?” He asked casually.

There was a bit of hesitation but then Boot from Ravenclaw offered his opinion first. “It’s complete codswallop if you ask me.” 

“Utter bullshit more like” Smith declared angrily, not bothering to hide his disgust.

“Too right!” Muttered Weasley but not quite quietly enough. Granger elbowed him in the ribs and Potter frowned at him.

Goldstein shrugged, he’d been so passive that people seemed to have forgotten he was there but they looked at him now as he spoke. “I dunno, could be alright.” 

Next to him, Corner frowned. “Care to elaborate on that?” He asked disapprovingly.

“I’m sure here to get my N.E.W.T.S, I’m happy to study with anyone or alone, whatever. As long as no one makes trouble I don’t care who I’m with.” Goldstein said nonchalantly. 

“Well, I’m happy to get along with  _ most _ people here.” Said one of the Hufflepuff girls, Draco thought it was Bones but he couldn’t be sure. It was pretty obvious who she was talking about though as she sat directly opposite and was now looking directly at the three Slytherins before her.

Thomas obviously realised who she meant as he piped up from the ‘Gryffindor’ end. “Yeh, I think it’s pretty obvious you’ll be causing the trouble.”

Draco wanted to defend himself but he couldn’t. Even though he knew it was probably too late, he didn’t want to draw any attention to himself. Fortunately, it seemed like someone did have his back. 

Blaise addressed the whole table as everyone turned to look at him.

“I think we all know who you’re directing that at and I want to make something clear. Draco, Daphne and I are all here for the same reason that you are. Our education was equally affected and we would like the opportunity to gain our qualifications in full so we can make our way in the world. That is it, we are not here to make trouble. I speak for all of us when I say we will be civil to you as long as you are civil to us. I appreciate that the house we represent may have been the most hostile to you in the past. I personally am sorry for anything I may have said or done to any one of you over the first six years of school together. However, the hostilities have not always been one sided. We could sit for ages and all apologise to each other for everything we’ve ever done wrong, or maybe we could just start over, forget the past and get to know each other now, properly like Potter said.”

Everyone was silent, cautiously looking around each other once more. Until something Draco did not expect happened. Longbottom slowly got up and off the bench, walked round and came to stand behind Blaise’s right shoulder. He stood there for a minute until Blaise slowly got up and turned to face him. Longbottom then held out his hand.

“Hi, I’m Neville Longbottom, nice to meet you.”

Blaise eyed him carefully for a moment before slowly extending his hand out to shake Longbottom’s.

“Blaise Zabini, pleasure to meet you.”

With that Longbottom plonked himself down on the bench between Blaise and Goldstein and engaged Goldstein in a chat about what subjects he was taking as if nothing had happened. Goldstein followed his example and talked back completely unphased by the whole thing. Blaise slowly sat back down and Draco breathed a sigh of relief. No one else moved but somehow having one single person not sitting amongst their old house seemed to make a difference. One by one they started talking normally to those around them about everyday mundane things and the atmosphere grew less tense at the table. 

After a short while, the noise levels started to steadily rise in the Great Hall as all the other students were now arriving; all in their usual coloured house robes and going to sit at their house table. Some were coming in groups laughing and chatting; others walked in alone looking very nervous. Draco saw a few of the younger Slytherins he recognised sitting down at his old table but the far table of Slytherin house was definitely looking less full than the other tables. He could see the Weasley girl glaring at him from the Gryffindor table but he was ignoring it. He thought she would come over and say hello to Potter, weren’t they still going out? But she didn’t. 

Soon people started noticing their table, pointing over in their direction and commenting. Soon all Draco could hear was sounds of:

“Look, there, it’s Potter-”

“Harry Potter is back-”

“He’s here, at that table look-”

“There he is-”

“Why is that table there?”

“Why are their robes purple?”

“What’s going on?”

Then he started hearing different voices. Much worse ones.

“Look who else is there”

“Is that Malfoy?”

“What’s he doing back?”

“It’s him-”

“Why is that Malfoy boy back?”

“Isn’t he a Death Eater?”

Suddenly Draco wished he was sitting on the other bench facing the teachers table instead of facing the rest of the school as the voices got louder. 

“He IS a Death Eater. I’m sure of it”

“Did you hear his dad’s in Azkaban?”

“He’s a Death Eater for sure”

“I heard he’s got the Dark Mark”

Then a voice came across louder than all others.

“WHO LET YOU BACK IN HERE YOU DEATH EATER SCUM?”

The Great Hall went quiet and everyone was looking between the Hufflepuff boy who shouted and Draco who was looking down willing himself to disappear. Professor Sprout appeared from somewhere behind Draco in a flash and was walking very sternly towards the boy. Then another voice called out amongst the crowd. It was quieter than the first but as the hall was much less noisy now so every word could still be heard.

“My brother is dead because of you.” 

Draco looked up, he couldn’t help it. His eyes met the face of a small, frail boy with mousy-brown hair, and Gryffindor robes. He looked desperately sad and it broke something within Draco. He opened his mouth to say something, anything ‘I’m sorry’ maybe... but his throat went dry and he couldn’t speak. Then he saw Potter rise and walk slowly over to the boy. Potter pulled him into an awkward hug and spoke to him quietly but Draco strained himself to hear the words.

“Dennis, I know it’s hard but Malfoy didn’t kill Colin…. No one here did… Come on, let’s get you sat down.”

Just then the doors of the Great Hall opened once more and Professor McGonagall came striding in with a short line of tiny terrified looking children in tow. The small group gathered just in front of the united seventh year table, blocking Draco’s view of the rest of the school which he was glad of. McGonagall went up on the platform to the teachers table to stand at the podium there which was beside a chair with the sorting hat on top of it. 

“Welcome to all students and teachers, old and new, to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In a moment the sorting of our new students will begin and they will join the students who were sorted last year to become first years together. Firstly, I wish to say something brief about the houses. I won’t keep you too long as I know you are hungry and I wish for you to be well fed before I deliver my official, and very important, welcome speech…”

McGonagall launched into a condensed version of the  _ ‘Slytherin’s are still welcome and we will still sort first years there no matter what ‘The Prophet’ says’  _ speech that she had already given them. Draco stopped listening as he started whispering to Blaise. 

“So, I haven’t really been keeping up to date with the news over the summer, what exactly has been going on?”

“Oh it’s just rubbish really. You know what journalists are like and how fickle the public are.” Blaise whispered back.

“What did they say about Slytherin?” Draco asked.

“Well, like McGonagall said, it’s just been stuff about how all the Death Eaters came from Slytherin and how no one good is ever in that house. People have been saying they should disband Slytherin to stop more ‘evil wizards being produced’ and just generally blaming the whole of Slytherin house for the war really.”

“But that’s ridiculous!” Draco exclaimed.

“Well yes it is but it makes the public feel better if they have somewhere to direct their anger, people to blame, that’s why they do it. It’s more about just humiliating and discrediting everyone that could possibly be linked to ‘the dark side’ as they call it. Like you know in 5th year where they just made Dumbledore and Potter the butt of every joke? That’s what they’re doing now with Slytherins and Purebloods. Just slipping small stuff in here and there flipping the prejudice against muggle borns from last year on its head. Now if you’re muggle-born you’re likely to be ‘good’ and if you’re pureblood you’re likely to be ‘evil’ and everyone just associates purebloods with Slytherin even though there’s plenty of purebloods in other houses.”

The sorting hat had started singing it’s annual song now. Draco was only half listening when it was going along the same lines as McGonagall of inter-house unity but he couldn’t help notice the song dwelled on Slytherin more so than any other house listing all the possible positive traits a member of the house might have and how they could be valuable. He turned his head back to Blaise as the song was drawing to a close and the first student walked round their table and up onto the stage to be sorted.

“People can’t blame the entire of Slytherin though, there’s loads of people like you who didn’t do anything!” 

“But that’s the point, Draco, I didn’t  _ do anything _ . The majority of the Slytherins didn’t to be honest, we stayed neutral. Now the war has been won without our help and the side that won it is snubbing us because we didn’t win it with them. They can’t punish us for something we didn’t do but they won’t let us share in their victory either.”

“Yeh but I bet they don’t realise how hard staying neutral was when a lot of the old Slytherin families were being targeted for recruitment.” Draco argued.

“No they don't.” Blaise said in a sombre tone. 

Once all the first years had been sorted they went to join their new classmates of students who were sorted last year. There were hardly any first years last year as most had been too scared to come and muggle-borns hadn’t been allowed to anyway. This year's group was still smaller than usual so together they made about an average size year group. Repeating a year was good for everyone really as noone had actually learnt anything from the normal curriculum last year. Plus the 5th year students hadn’t been able to do their O.W.L.S so they could hardly progress to N.E.W.T.S.

The next thing Draco knew was that McGonagall was telling them to tuck in and suddenly platters of all sorts of food filled the table in front of them. The seventh years all started tucking in and there was almost no sign of the earlier tension. People were still mostly talking in their old house groups but Granger was leaning over to talk to Brocklehurst and Turpin, the Ravenclaw girls, well ex-Ravenclaws he supposed.

Macmillan also seemed keen for the inter-house unity and engaged Blaise in a conversation about quidditch. Blaise seemed tolerant of it, at least answering back politely even though Draco knew he wasn’t a massive follower of the sport. No one bothered talking to Draco but he wasn’t surprised by that. There was a difference between being nice to Slytherins and being nice to Death Eaters. He didn’t mind if no one spoke to him though, being ignored was the best he could hope for really. He wouldn’t talk to anyone one else unless they spoke to him first. Daphne was different though, he was determined to try and be friendly with her at least if the three ex-Slytherins of them were going to spend more time together. Besides, she was kind of her own at the moment.

“You ok Daphne? You’re quiet.” He enquired tentatively.

She shrugged. “It’s just strange, not sitting over there-” pointing to the Slytherin table “-with everyone else, you know?”

He nodded slowly. “I know. Is Astoria over there?” He asked.

“Yeh, she is. That’s the main reason I came back. You know her best friend Viola?”

“I think so.” Draco said picturing the girl who could always be seen next to Astoria.

“Well her father got attacked this summer.”

“Attacked? Why?”

“I don’t know all the details but it seems they thought he could have been a Death Eater. He wasn’t, he didn’t do anything in the war but their family were always close with the Nott family you know? So people assumed… Anyway, he’s recovered now but the family have moved abroad. Astoria was really scared about being here without Viola but she had to come back. She’s so young. She can’t leave school without any qualifications, at least we’ve got our O.W.L.S. I wasn’t sure about coming back here without Pansy but I promised mum I’d look out for Tori and Blaise and I have become close.”

“Gosh, wow… that’s awful.” After a pause he added. “So, er, you heard from Pansy? Where is she, do you know?”

“We wrote to each other a bit over the summer. Her and her family have moved to America now. They thought it was best, Pansy wouldn’t exactly be welcome here after… well you know.” Trying to hand Potter over to the Dark Lord in front of the whole school, yes, he knew! “Her parents wanted to escape it all too I think, fresh start. A lot of Slytherin families have moved away. Pansy doesn’t exactly care about qualifications anway. You know what she’s like. Her parents are already on the lookout for a suitable rich American bachelor to marry her off too and I’m sure she’d be thrilled about being a kept woman.”

“Yes, I’m sure. Well I’m glad she’s ok anyway, she could have a good life there.” Draco said thoughtfully.

“Yes, I expect she could.” Daphne replied.

They talked a bit more about this and that. Conversation was still a bit awkward between the two of them, they’d always been in large groups before but Draco found that he liked Daphne more than he remembered. Maybe she was better now without Pansy. As they talked and ate, Draco couldn’t help but glance over at the Golden Trio as he had always done at mealtimes in this room. How easy it was to slip back into old habits. Something definitely seemed odd about them now though, their chemistry was different somehow. 

Potter still seemed on his own still even though he was sitting right next to them. Whether it was just because Weasley and Granger were obviously a lot closer now as a couple and Potter was left out of whether it was something more, Draco couldn’t tell. His former school rival was definitely different though, something about him had changed. He looked like he had aged at least five years since the last time he’d put on school robes. True, it suited his figure, he was slightly broader now and more muscular. He was a young man and not the scrawny skinny little boy he had once been, but his face looked tired and his head seemed to be weighing heavy on his shoulders.

Draco wasn’t sure when Blaise had started talking to him but he suddenly became aware he was looking at him waiting for an answer.

“Er sorry, what did you say?” Draco asked him.

“I wanted to know what you made of Potter’s little speech. You’re clearly staring at him by the way! I suppose some things never change!”

“I was not staring!” Draco replied indignantly.

“Sure. Whatever you say.” Blaise rolled his eyes and Daphne giggled. ”Seriously though, he’s kind of changed hasn’t he?” Blaise asked.

“Yeh, he has” Thought Draco out loud.

“You know he wrote to me.” Blaise said simply.

“What?!” Draco whipped his head round to stare at Blaise now in surprise. “Potter wrote to you? When? Why?”

“In the summer. It was how I knew you were coming back. The results of your trial weren't made public. I wasn’t sure where you could or if I’d even be able to write to you or not. Potter wrote to me to let me know you were at the Manor but coming back here once term started and he asked if I was too because he said that you might need a friend.” Blaise said casually.

“You serious?” Draco asked, still in shock.

“Yeh, completely. I knew then he had changed. We never really had a lot to do with one another to be fair. He was too busy hating you to bother with me but I reckon he must be alright you know. He was looking out for you and it seemed genuine. Weird but kind of nice I guess.” Blaise commented.

“Yeh, weird but nice.” Draco repeated still trying to process it all. He went quiet after that for a bit.

After all the food had been eaten and most people were complaining about being too full (not Draco though, his nervousness was still putting him off his food) McGonagall got up once more to start her official welcome speech. Again, it was much the same as what she had said to them earlier. She carefully referenced the war in a sensitive way offering words of comfort to those that needed to hear it and gave a positive message about moving on and beginning to heal. This tied into a more elaborate version of the inter-house unity talk and an explanation for the rest of the school about the united seventh year house. The rules were read out and she gave a warning to all that bullying would not be tolerated and that everyone was here to learn and all were welcome. Personally, Draco still didn't feel welcome and he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen when their little group got away from the teachers and into their dorm rooms. Finally she turned to her fellow teachers which Draco actually turned around and paid attention to tuning into McGonagall mid sentence.

“-back all our existing teachers and thank them for all they did to help protect the school last year. We also have a number of new staff this year which I hope you will join me in welcoming. Firstly, welcome to Professor Haywood who has come to teach Muggle Studies. I am aware that this subject was not what it should have been last year-” Understatement of the century, thought Draco. “-and we wish to put matters right this year. Our N.E.W.T level students have already chosen their subjects and will have no more room in their timetables but for all students O.W.L level and below Muggle Studies will remain compulsory. We wish to  _ remedy _ the damage that was done last year and remind all students that compassion and cooperation with our muggle neighbours is essential.” 

Granger could be heard on their table complaining about how she couldn’t take Muggle Studies which seemed to be amusing Potter and Weasley who were sharing an understanding smile between them once more and rolling their eyes. Potter looked better when he smiled, though Draco before he could himself. As McGonagall was introducing a new potions teacher, Draco realised he needed to stop looking at Potter and focus on what the Headmistress was saying.

“What happened to Slughorn?” He whispered to Blaise.

“Retired again, weren’t you listening?” He shot back.

“No, not really.” Draco admitted.

“Well she’s the new head of Slytherin now too.”

“Wonder what she’ll be like.” Draco thought out loud.

“Shh, don’t want to miss the others.” Blaise said back.

Draco focused back in on what McGonagall was saying.

“-will be focusing on my numerous duties as Headmistress and as head of the united seventh year house so Transfiguration classes will be mostly taught by Professor Delacour here with some assistance from me. Our older students will recognise her as the Beauxbatons champion in the Triwizard Tournament, I trust that you will all make her feel welcome. Some of you will know that Professor Delacour is married now but she has chosen to teach under her maiden name to make things easier as her husband is also here at the school with us this year. Professor Weasley will be taking over as Gryffindor head of house and the Defence-”

Draco absentmindedly stopped listening again. He was suddenly glad he hadn’t eaten much as he thought he might be sick. All he could do was stare up at that face as the familiar nauseating feelings of guilt came flooding in. That face that bore those sickeningly familiar scars of Fenrir Greyback, the werewolf that Draco himself had let into the castle that night. His new DADA teacher was the man whose body Draco had stepped over on his way up to the Astronomy tower. Well there goes his hope at a decent mark in that subject then. Maybe he should just drop it now.

He wasn’t aware of when Professor McGonagall had stopped talking but she must have done as the sounds of students getting up and walking out the hall filled his ears and before he knew it Professor McGonagall was at their table once more.

“I must congratulate you all on getting through your first meal together without any casualties, overall that is quite an achievement I feel.”

“It’s not too late” Weasley muttered from the other end of the table but McGonagall didn’t appear to have noticed.

“Now is probably a good time for you to go and see your accommodation. Each dorm will have the names of the occupants on the door, I have tried to mix up the old houses within the dorms and before you ask,  _ no you may not _ change them. Mr Longbottom has been invaluable at helping set up the rooms this summer so he will take you to them. Remember please that you are adults and I am putting a great deal of trust in you this year. I shall be sorely disappointed in any of you if I am required to come and discipline you on the first evening, or any evening for that matter. You may now go get some rest. I shall be issuing your individual timetables tomorrow morning. Goodnight.”

The Headmistress swept away from them and left them all looking nervously at Longbottom.

“Er, right well, come with me then!” 

He said cheerfully to the group as he started to lead the way. They followed him up one flight of stairs and then another, up and up until someone from the back called out

“Blimey Neville, how far are we going? Must be nearly at the seventh floor by now.”

“Yep, that’s where we’re going!” Their leader called back.

The seventh floor? Draco thought, but that must mean… no surely not… and all too soon he found himself facing that familiar stretch of wall where he’d spent most of his dreaded sixth year. The door had not yet appeared though as the small group gathered outside it. 

“We’re staying in the Room of Requirement?” Boot asked.

“Erm, well not exactly.” Longbottom said scratching his head pondering how to explain it. 

“See, the room was kind of broken in May, after…” ...after the fire, after Vincent… Draco finished silently wondering how many more of his demons he would need to face today. “...it doesn’t quite work the way it used to but the space was still here. I managed to mend it somewhat to give us what we needed and every now and then when you’re inside if you think of something you want it will pop up! It’s a bit hit and miss though. Anyway, the basic structure of the room stays the same now no matter if anyone is inside it or not. It won’t ever become something else for anyone else. All you have to do is stand at this point and picture the seventh year common room in your head and the door will appear but you can only picture it if you’ve already seen it, see? So at the moment no one but me or Professor McGonagall can get inside but once I take you guys in you’ll see it and then be able to get back in.”

“Wow, Neville, that’s really clever.” Granger said in awe.

“Thanks, it took a while but I think it’s nice enough inside. I hope you guys like it anyway!” He turned to face the wall and after a couple of seconds a big brown wooden door started to appear in the wall with a black iron door knob. Longbottom turned it and went inside. Everyone else followed eagerly.

It was a large rectangular room that was predominately decorated in the purple and white colours of their new robes. On the back wall however all the house banners hung proudly on the wall, separate but all joined by a thick purple rope at the top. Underneath the banners was a cosy, colourful raised seating area with green, yellow, red and blue assorted cushions and bean bags. There was a fireplace with comfortable sofas and armchairs on the left with chess sets and other games scattered around. The right side of the room was taken up with tables and chairs grouped together to work on and bookshelves lined the left hand wall like their own personal library. In the far left corner there were some target dummies for spell practice. 

“This is brilliant!” were the voices that echoed on all sides and any qualms about sharing this space seemed temporarily forgotten. Even Draco had to admit it was a very nice room and pretty perfect really. It certainly was lighter and less gloomy than the Slytherin common room despite the fact that it didn’t have any windows.

“Great, so pleased you liked it.” Said Longbottom from the middle of the room looking genuinely thrilled, “if anyone thinks of anything else that we might need, let me know and we can try and alter it.” He said with an air of authority.

Draco contemplated the fact that Longbottom had almost become the leader of their little gang of misfits and thought that he wasn’t repulsed by the idea. The confident, smiling, engaging man before him was most definitely not the Longbottom he had once stolen a remembrall from. What was happening to the world?!

“So where are we sleeping?” was the question from one of the girls that broke Draco out of his thoughts.

“Oh right yeh. The girls are through that door on the left, rooms first then bathroom at the end and the same with the boys on the right. Two dorms for the girls, three for the boys” Longbottom replied pointing at each door in question.

The girls started to wander over and inspect their living situation whilst the boys went to theirs. Smith was through the door first and all Draco heard were three very loud words that made his stomach twist horribly.

“NO FUCKING WAY”

Draco cautiously made his way through the door and beyond that saw another one that had a small plaque with four names on:

-Anthony Goldstein

-Draco Malfoy

-Zacharias Smith

-Harry Potter

Fuck, thought Draco. 


	13. The First Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco tries to settle into his new dorm for the night but things don't quite go smoothly.

Draco was trying so hard to disappear, to not exist. It wasn’t his fault, he didn't want to share with anyone let alone them. He had thought that Potter would be the worst person in the world that he could be put in a room with but apparently there was one worse. Smith had been ranting, raving and swearing in the new seventh year common room for about half an hour and had drawn everyone’s attention back into the main common room again. Macmillan and Longbottom had been trying to calm him down but to no avail. The two Hufflepuff girls Bones and Abbott had gone to fetch Professor McGonagall and when they finally came back with her she looked furious.

“Mr. Smith.” She rounded on him and he and the rest of the room went silent at once. “What did I say about having to come down here on the first evening? Are you trying to tell me that I was foolish to treat you like adults and think that you might be able to function without the supervision of teachers?”

“No, Professor, but seriously you can’t expect me to share with him? Why is he even here? He should be locked up in Azkaban with his maniac of a father. They’re Death Eaters, it’s absurd.” 

Smith spat out pacing the room and shooting dirty looks at Draco who was nervously standing in the doorway to the boys dormitories. Blaise and Daphne were standing just in front with their arms crossed and scowls on their faces like some sort of personal bodyguards. Draco didn’t know whether to feel grateful to them or embarrassed. Goldstein still seemed unphased by the situation and was leaning on the right hand wall casually observing with Boot next to him. Thomas and Corner were sitting on the sofa frowning and the Hufflepuff girls went to join the Ravenclaw girls in the opposite doorway leading to the girls rooms and they were all huddled together gossiping. Draco looked around trying to gauge what Potter thought of the situation when he spotted him in the far corner with Weasley and Granger. He had his back to the rest of the room so Draco couldn't read his face but Weasley was whispering furiously to him and Granger wore a concerned face as she kept shooting glances over Potter’s shoulder to where Draco stood.

McGonagall drew a sharp breath and looked Smith square in the eyes.

“Mr. Smith. Do you believe that I would let anyone back into the school who I believe to be a danger to my students?”

“No, Professor, not intentionally but-”

“Are you suggesting, therefore, that I lack intelligence and I let them in accidentally?”

“No, of course not, Professor but-”

“Perhaps it is time for you to stop talking and listen Mr. Smith.” She took a step back from him and looked up at the room as a whole. “Perhaps you should all listen, and listen carefully for I am only going to say this once. Every single student is here at my invitation because they are worthy of getting an education. I realise that I did not have control of the school last year and I am sorry for it, you can blame me for that if it helps you but this year I can assure you that I have not let anyone into the school who wishes to do you harm.” 

Weasley then strode into the centre of the room.

“But come on Professor, you can’t expect Harry to share with  _ him  _ it’s not fair!”

“Ron, I told you to drop it.” Potter called out as he tried to grab the redhead's arm and pull him back.

“Mr. Weasley, I must confess I am disappointed in you, I expected better.” McGonagall addressed him as Weasley’s cheeks and ears flushed red. “If Mr. Potter has a problem with the dormitory arrangements. I trust that he can speak to me directly, can he not?”

“I- … Well-...” Weasley stammered before Potter finally stepped into the centre of the room to speak.

“I don’t Professor, it's fine.” He sighed. 

“Good. I spent a great deal of time putting these rooms together and every decision has been made consciously for reasons that I do not need to share with you. Is there anyone here that does not trust my judgement?” 

A few nervous glances were passed around the room but no one spoke out against the Headmistress. Their unelected leader spoke out bravely once more.

“We trust you Professor.” Longbottom said loyally.

“Thank you Longbottom. In that case I suggest you all retire to your dormitories and get settled in. Normally, I would have encouraged some social time for you all but perhaps it would be better for you to all get an early night. I expect no more disturbances tonight, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Professor” came the general chorus.

“Right, well goodnight.” She said firmly before walking back out of the room.

Nobody moved at first and they were still all exchanging anxious glances. Finally Potter spoke once more.

“Right, come on then guys you heard her. Let’s just go to bed.” He said a bit frustratedly.

“But Harry-” Weasley started up again.

“No, Ron! Leave it!” Potter warned.

“Fine but if he murderers you in your sleep tonight don’t blame me!” Weasley spat back angrily before barging his way back Draco in the doorway and storming off into his dorm room and slamming the door.

Thomas and Corner rose up and followed him shooting a scowl at Draco as they passed him. 

Boot looked at Goldstein as he spoke. “Well, I’m with them. Night.”

“Night” Goldstein called back before making his way over to Draco. He looked at him and then said “Right, shall we?” and motioned to their dorm room.

Draco hesitated slightly and Blaise muttered to him. “You ok?”

“Yeh I’ll be fine.” Draco whispered back trying to sound more confident than he felt.

“Right, well I’m with Longbottom and Macmillan and I reckon they’re alright so any problems come and find me ok?” Blaise said back under his breath.

“Yeh, thanks.” Said Draco. “Night then” He said before following Goldstein into their new room.

There were four black wooden poster beds with white linen and purple curtains around them. Draco noticed his trunk was by the foot of the nearest one. That’s good, he thought, at least he could slip out the door quickly if he needed to. Goldstein seemed to be in the bed next to him so that was a relief too. Out of the other three Draco felt safest with him. They’d shared lots of classes together before over the years and although they’d never really spoken they certainly had never had any issues with each other. The others hadn’t come in yet and the atmosphere was still a bit awkward. Goldstein clearly wanted to clear the air.

“Look” He said, turning to Draco. “I meant what I said earlier. I’m just here to get my N.E.W.T.S. I’m hoping to just keep my head down and study.”

“Me too” Said Draco honestly. 

“Well if that’s true then I reckon we can get on alright.” Goldstein hesitated before continuing. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not offering to be your best friend or anything but I don’t want to be your enemy either, I’m happy to give you a chance.” He said casually.

“Thanks, Goldstein, I appreciate it. That’s all I ask” Draco replied. “I’m not looking to make friends, I just want a quiet year.” He said honestly in a quiet voice.

Goldstein let out a small laugh. “Yeh a quiet year sounds good!” Then he held out his hand to Draco. “Well in that case call me Anthony or Tony, whatever.”

“Draco” he said whilst reaching out to shake his hand.

“Good, that’s that settled then.” Anthony said and Draco let out a small sigh of relief.

“Yeh, thanks. Guess I’ll hit the showers and call it a night.” Draco said.

“Good idea.” Came the reply.

Draco was exhausted, the day had been very mentally draining. Despite that he knew he wouldn’t sleep, he just wanted an excuse to get in and out of the shower before anyone else came in and thought maybe he could hide away behind the curtains of his bed.

He grabbed his pajamas and wash bag and headed to the showers.

The bathroom was a decent size and was actually nicer than the one he was used to in Slytherin. He was also relieved to see five separate shower cubicles with solid white doors. They were quite big inside containing a dry area to change in as well as a sunken wet room with a big overhead shower. He spelled the door shut twice just in case but no one else came into the bathroom during the time he showered. At least one thing was going right tonight. He didn’t take too long though just in case and ten minutes later he was walking back to his dorm in his long grey silk pajamas with his robes and wash bag in his arms.

When he walked back into the dorm Potter was there. He had been clearly talking to Anthony but they had stopped as Draco walked in. Potter looked up at him and for a moment they both stared at each other before Potter glanced back at Anthony and he gave Potter a small nod of the head. Potter slowly got up and walked over to Draco before speaking.

“Malfoy, I’m not going to make any trouble for you this year I swear as long as you don’t make any for me, deal?” and he held out his hand too.

Draco looked at that hand and couldn’t help being taken back to their encounter on the Hogwarts Express seven years ago. Potter’s rejection had hurt and Draco had half the mind to reject him now, but what good would that do? This is what Drao wanted wasn’t it? 

Potter sensed Draco’s hesitation and spoke again, still with an outstretched hand that Draco was yet to take. “We’re all agreed on a quiet year yeh?” Potter said looking back to Anthony before returning his gaze to Draco.

“Yes.” Draco said simply before finally taking Potter’s hand. 

His hand was slightly rougher than Draco expected as he shook it and Potter’s olive skin looked dark in comparison to Draco’s, it had the weathered colour of spending time outdoors that Draco’s pale complexion lacked. Finally, Potter slacked his grip on Draco’s hand and Draco forced himself to let go, even though a small part of him didn’t really want to.

Potter turned and went back to his bed which was on the far side of the room to Draco’s and sat down on it breathing out a sigh of… relief? Anthony was relaxed on top his bed now still dressed in robes but the bed between Anthony and Potter was still empty. Potter caught Draco eyeing it up nervously. 

“Smith is a twat” Potter said out loud making Draco jump slightly. “Honestly, I was more annoyed about sharing with him that  _ you _ for Merlin’s sake, how weird is that?!” He laughed nervously. 

The tension in the room eased somewhat and Anthony laughed too and Draco relaxed ever so slightly. 

“If he makes any more trouble McGonagall will kick him out, I’m sure of it, so don’t worry about it.” Potter said and Anthony agreed. 

“Right, thanks.” Draco said awkwardly. 

He was relieved there there seemed to be an understanding between the three of them but he still didn’t particularly want to face the forth occupant of the room so he climbed into his bed.

“Night then.” he called out before closing the curtains around himself and creating his own fragile sanctuary.

“Night” he heard the two voices call back.

  
  


He lay there listening to the sounds of the other two moving around, someone was getting undressed near him, Anthony he thought and someone walked past his bed and out into the corridor who he assumed to be Potter. He was gone for a little while, showers he guessed as when the door clicked open again Draco could smell a waft of sandalwood coming in through the door. So that’s what Potter used in the shower, though Draco. It was nice, not quite as soothing as his lavender one but it was relaxing and the woody notes were quite manly, it suited Potter. Slightly disconcerted by the fact that he was analysing Potter’s shower gel he tried to block out his thoughts and relax his mind and his body.

He knew it was pointless though, even when he was alone he couldn’t sleep but he was still on high alert waiting for the sound of Smith coming into the room. He was lying on his back stiffly with his hand clutching his wand on his chest. Hopefully, if he thought Draco was asleep he wouldn’t say anything. He could sense that Anthony was now in bed next to him and he heard the sounds of two sets of curtains closing so he figured Potter was in bed now too. Then the door creaked open and another set of cautious footprints came in. Smith was as quiet as possible as he got himself ready for bed but Draco was listening to every sound. He heard the sound of curtains closing again but there was something off about how loud the noise was compared to the other way Smith had been moving around and the noise the other two sets of curtains had made. Plus Draco thought he heard a faint sound of movement in the room still. 

All the hairs on the back of Draco’s neck stood up and the grip of his hand on his wand tightened as he saw the shadow of a figure move by his curtains and then heard shallow breathing the other side of them almost next to his face. Smith was crouched down by the side of Draco’s bed he was sure of it. Then he heard him whisper.

“You thought I was just going to sit back and let a Death Eater sleep two beds away from me? No fucking chance. Your masked friends aren’t here to help you now, Malfoy.” The voice was quiet but very malicious. 

Then several things happened at once. Draco heard the sound of curtains being ripped open and feet touching the floor, then the crash of a wooden wand hitting something across the room and he saw a faint light glow the other side of his curtains. 

Anthony opened the curtains of his bed at the same time as Draco and they both took in the scene before them. Potter was standing commandingly by his bed. He had his wand in his right hand and was pointing it straight at Smith who had been flung back on the floor at the foot of Draco’s bed. Potter’s left hand was stretched out flat in Draco’s direction and there was a faint shimmering white barrier between Draco’s bed and the rest of the room. Anthony was mirroring Draco’s shocked reaction and was also looking at Potter in awe. 

Potter was standing there in checked flannel pajama bottoms and an old baggy white t-shirt with black messy hair all over the place but somehow he still managed to look fearsome; fire was raging in those bottle green eyes. The look almost took Draco’s breath away. It was the same look he had in his eye when they had duelled in second year, but that was a boy and this was a man with all the experience of war. Also that look was directed at Draco then but this time it was directed at Draco’s would be attacker. 

For a while nobody spoke and the scene before him seemed frozen in time. Then slowly Potter picked up Smith’s wand from the floor by his feet and put it in his pocket, glanced over at Draco and lowered the shield charm without a word. The fire had settled somewhat in his eyes but it was still there as he took command of the scene once more. 

“Smith. You’d better come with me.” He said in a tone that one one would argue with.

They both walked out of the room without another word. Smith was looking furious but he was without his wand and not willing to stand up to Potter. Draco wondered what curse Smith had been about to use but Potter had obviously seen him raise his wand. He must have been peeking through his curtains. Draco still couldn’t understand why Potter had seemingly rescued him, again. Part of him was annoyed that he was relying on Potter to bloody save him all the time but another part of him was beyond relieved that he had intervened. Selfishly, as much as he didn’t like the idea, it would be stupid of him to fight against the hero’s protection, he obviously needed it. He couldn’t forget that look in Potter’s eyes either. He was replaying it in his head over and over. He’d never had anyone protect him that fiercely before. It was confusing to say the least but he couldn’t help be glad of it. No doubt Potter would do it for anyone though, he wasn’t special, it was just what Potter did wasn’t it?

He lay in bed for what seemed like hours, the curtains closed once more until he heard the door open once more. One set of footsteps came in quietly and creeped into the bed at the far end of the room, the now familiar waft of sandalwoods came in with them. Smith hadn’t followed him and wherever he was now, he wasn’t here. After a while when he was sure that Anthony at least was asleep and Smith wasn’t coming back, Draco silently got up and crept out of the room. He couldn’t stay there, he felt like he was suffocating with his thoughts in that bed. He knew that he wouldn’t sleep tonight and he was restless. He needed to get away for a while, to think.

The castle was silent and no one disturbed him as he walked slowly through the corridors. He didn’t have a destination in mind but he just followed where his feet were taking him. He wasn’t sure why he trusted them though as they took him up and up until he was standing in the very last place he thought he wanted to be. Standing in the place that he last saw Albus Dumbledore as the vision of him falling back over the ramparts and into the night sky filled his head once more. He crumpled to the ground and sobbed silently. It was all just too much. Being here again was too much.


	14. The Start of N.E.W.T.S

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's first full day back at Hogwarts, what will the day have in store for him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *warning: nightmare scene here involving death. It's not graphic but just thought I'd warn for it just in case.

The absence of Smith was clearly noticed on the seventh year table at breakfast the next morning but no one said anything. There was definitely a start of inter-house unity today with the seating arrangements, amongst three of the old houses anyway. If anything there was more of a gender divide this morning. There was still some tension amongst the boys with Weasley, Thomas and Corner still looking a bit grumpy and uneasy down the far end of the table the furthest they could be from the three ex-Slytherins who had taken the same seats as last night. The other small group of boys further along consisted of Longbottom, Potter, Macmillan and Goldestein with Boot sitting in between the two male groups looking from one to the other as if he couldn’t make up his mind which group to be in. Most of the girls on the other hand had clearly taken the inter-house unity to heart with Granger sitting amongst the ex-Hufflepuffs Bones and Abbott and the ex-Ravenclaws Brocklehurst and Turpin in the middle of the table. They were chatting away speculating about the new teachers and passing the breakfast stuff to each other without a care in the world. No one was talking to Blaise, Draco or Daphne though.

It was interesting to Draco how the Golden Trio were now sitting separately in three different groups; the issue of inter-house unity had obviously divided them. Potter was clearly for it in principle but still seemed a bit awkward about it around the Slytherins despite what he had said last night. They hadn’t exchanged any more words since the previous evening and Potter, so far was ignoring them at breakfast. Granger seemed unsure, clearly willing to try with some of the group but her and Draco had been very deliberately avoiding each other. Weasley on the other hand had definitely made his feelings known and had clearly ‘recruited’ Thomas and Corner to his side. 

“So how was it for you last night?” Draco asked Blaise.

“It was fine. Neville and Ernie are alright actually, a bit extroverted for my taste perhaps but they’re making an effort with me and it’s tolerable.” Blaise replied in his cool manner.

“First name basis huh?” Draco teased.

Blaise shrugged. “They insisted, plus they have annoying surnames so…”

“Well I’m glad they’re not arseholes to you.” Draco said sincerely.

“Yeh not like Smith, sorry about that by the way.”

Draco hadn’t gone into details about what happened but Blaise and Daphne knew the gist.

“Well I don’t think he’s coming back. If he doesn’t then it should be ok. Still not my favourite choice of roommates but we’ve made an agreement.” Draco said seriously before turning to Daphne. “What about you?”

“It could have been worse.” She sighed. “I thought they might put all six of us in together but I prefer the smaller rooms. Granger and Abbott have just ignored me so far. They won’t try anything. The atmosphere is not really tense, they just act normal and pretend I don’t exist.”

“Well that’s still not very nice.” Said Blaise frowning.

“No it’s not but I prefer them talking to each other rather than no one talking at all. It’s easier to fade into the background which suits me.” She replied nonchalantly. 

Draco was actually pretty hungry having hardly eaten last night and he felt a bit more settled this morning having released his emotions into the silent night at the top of the Astronomy Tower, so he tucked into the food. They spoke a bit more over breakfast and conversation was much easier between the three of them than it had been last night. Maybe this year wouldn’t be so bad if they had them, Draco thought. However, he knew they weren’t taking all of his classes so he was a bit worried about the ones they wouldn’t be in. 

  
  


Before too long, the food had all disappeared and the heads of houses were coming round to issue everyone’s timetables. McGonagall came to stand at the head of their table once more as she had done the previous evening.

“Good morning, I trust that you all slept well.” She paused and waited for the few nods and muttered responses before carrying on. “You will have noticed that you are one short this morning. Smith did not heed the warning I issued last night and as such he has forfeited his place at this school. He shall not be returning. Take that as a sign of how serious my words were.” 

She looked around the table at them all and then her eyes settled on the three Slytherins at the far end. “I’m glad to see you have taken some steps towards inter-house unity amongst you but I can see there is still progress to be made. I shall say no more about it now however as your timetables need to be distributed. Please wait your turn until I have sorted them all out with you.”

She started down one end with a less grumpy looking Thomas and he was soon cleared to leave the table. She spent a little longer with Weasley and seemed to be frowning at him slightly. One by one however, they got up and left the table until only Draco, Blaise and Daphne remained.

She had obviously left them to last on purpose as she now addressed them together.

“And how are you three doing?” She inquired kindly.

They didn’t really give an answer though, unsure what to say they all gave a bit of a noncommittal shrug. She carried on undeterred.

“I am sorry if your classmates are not being as accepting as they should be. It will take time but rest assured that you are welcome here. The staff take your wellbeing and your happiness very seriously and I want you to know that you can always confide in any of us, myself particularly. I shall not be offended if I have not yet gained your trust. I expect you probably miss Professor Snape but the new head of Slytherin Professor Rosier has said that she will be happy for you to have tea in her office at any time. She knows what it is like to be a member of the Slytherin house. She also carries an infamous name which does not reflect her personal beliefs and has therefore made her a target in the past.” 

The last sentence McGonagall specifically looked at Draco when she said it. He knew the name Rosier of course, his Grandmother had been a Rosier before she married a Black so he was somehow related to this new Professor. Interesting. Mind you it was hardly a surprise, all of the old pureblood houses were related in some way or another.

“Anyway,” The Headmistress continued, “There is the matter of your timetables now.” She turned to Daphne first. “Miss Greengrass, I have you down for Herbology, Potions, Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Divination, is that correct?”

“Yes, Professor”

“Very well.” McGonagall tapped a blank timetable in front of her and immediately Daphne’s subjects appeared on it and she passed it over. “You have Divination first period so you may head there now.”

Daphne turned to the others. “See you at lunch then I guess.” She said, looking a little nervous but she picked her head up and walked out the Great Hall anyway.

“Mr. Malfoy here is yours as we have already discussed your subjects.” McGonagall said passing his already completed timetable over to him. “You start Thursday mornings with Arithmancy but you may wait for Mr. Zabini and walk up together. I have already informed Professor Vector that you would likely be a little late.” She turned to Blaise. “That is, assuming you are still carrying on with Arithmancy, as well as Potions, Transfiguration, Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts Mr Zabini?”

“I am Professor.” Blaise replied.

“Excellent.” She said tapping another timetable and handing it to him. “That’s all sorted then. I hope you both have a pleasant day.”

  
  


Draco’s first day back at classes was the only day of the week where he didn’t have any free periods but he didn’t mind that as he was hoping to keep busy today. Besides, they would be more useful next week when the workload was piling up. The morning passed by relatively quickly and was actually quite pleasant. Draco had enjoyed Arithmancy, it was mentally challenging. He was getting a bit nervous towards the end about going to the next class on his own but surprisingly Anthony, who also took Arithmancy, heard Blaise wish him “good luck in Ancient Runes” and said as he was also taking it that he’d walk with him. Ancient Runes was even smaller than his Arithmancy class but Draco worked surprisingly well with Anthony and found the class almost as enjoyable. 

It seemed he could not escape from Granger who, unsurprisingly, took both but she ignored him still and was nowhere to be seen at lunch. Infact Potter and Weasley hadn’t come to lunch either which was strange but then Draco understood as he saw the three of them come out of Hagrid's hut after lunch on his way to the greenhouses with Daphne. It turned out all three of them were in his double Herbology class on Thursday afternoons but thankfully that time passed without drama too and before he knew it Draco was back in the Great Hall for dinner.

The Golden Trio were all sitting next to each other again now, they had been huddled together all of Herbology and seemed inseparable once again so maybe the half-giant had helped heal their rift. Weasley certainly seemed in a much better mood and his smiles seemed infectious to those such as Thomas and Corner who had mirrored his emotions earlier. All in all, people seemed to have experienced a good first day back and that dinner was the most pleasant meal time the seventh years have had together. Maybe it was because they all now had the subject of classes to talk about and could all moan about the amount of homework they had already received rather than moan about each other.

  
  


After dinner Daphne had gone to catch up with her younger sister so Blaise and Draco figured they may as well get started on their Arithmancy homework. They decided to go to the main library to work as they thought they would get more peace there rather than their common room but typically Granger, Weasley and Potter were already there. They were sitting at the largest table in the middle with Longbottom, the Weasley girl and… Luna Lovegood. 

Another twinge of guilt surged up in Draco as he remembered where she had spent over three months of her life last year. He had been at the Manor when they had brought her in just before Christmas. He’d manage to sneak down there a couple of times over the holidays to give her some extra food and sometimes just to sit with her. He was lonely too and she was surprisingly good company. 

When he returned over Easter he had gone straight down to see if she was still there, which she was. Draco was horrified she was still being held captive and secretly relieved she was at least still alive plus a little bit grateful that he could still talk to her.. He actually ended up confiding in her a couple of times, it had been stupid but he had no one else to talk to and he thought they would probably both die at some point anyway. He hated seeing her locked up like that and couldn’t understand how she managed to stay so upbeat. Sometimes he had even envied her thinking that he might have prefered her prison sentence to his. She had been kind to him, but that was then and this was now. What would happen now, he wondered as the small group looked up to Blaise and Draco standing in the doorway.

Without hesitation Luna looked straight up at him and actually smiled.

“Hello Draco.” She said in her usual dreamy tone.

Before Draco could even reply two other voices were cutting in both belonging to fiery redheads.

“ _ Draco? _ Since when do you call that slimy ferret  _ Draco _ ?” The female redhead said his name like it disgusted her.

“What you playing at being _ nice _ to him? You were a prisoner in his house for Merlin’s sake!” Weasley said, glaring at Draco.

Luna turned to address her friends.

“Draco was a prisoner there just as much as I was,” she said in a matter-of-fact kind of way “and he was kind to me.”

“HIM? KIND?” Weasley spat out incredulously. 

“Luna, what are you talking about?” Granger asked softly as if she really wanted to know. Potter and Longbottom were looking interested too. 

“He came down to keep me company when he could and he brought us some food on occasion. It was rather horrible there for him too you know.”

Draco was nervous that she would reveal too much but she didn't, her voice was soft and thoughtful and the others were quietly contemplative. 

Longbottom got up from where he sat and walked over slowly to Draco. He looked at him and said “Thank you.” quietly but sincerely then held his hand out to Luna “Come on, let's go for a walk.” He said and they walked out hand in hand. 

Draco moved out the doorway and watched them go unable to find any words. Blaise looked at him in silent questioning but he gave him a small nod to indicate that he was ok. Then Blaise, ignoring the other group but holding his head up high went over to a smaller table, sat down and started to get his Arithmancy books out. Draco followed in silence. For a minute it was peaceful until-

“Well I’m not falling for the ‘nice guy’ act. I’m going. ‘Mione you coming?” Weasley said.

Granger hesitated but then said “No Ron, I really do have to get this work done.”

“Fine!” Weasley stormed out of the library.

The girl Weasley and Potter were now having some heated whispered conversation before she followed her brother and left. Potter got up to follow her but then looked back at Granger.

“Go, it’s fine.” She said to him softly. He hesitated but then followed her bouncing red head out the door.

Granger was now alone at the table. Draco noticed her glance his way as he quickly bent over his textbook again pretending like he hadn’t been watching. Out the corner of his eye he saw her move towards them until she was at their table. When she spoke it was almost so quiet that Draco couldn’t hear her.

“Is that true? What Luna said?”

Draco looked up and found her looking at him studying his face gently.

His throat was still dry and he couldn’t quite find the words but he nodded slowly.

She thought about this for a moment before she breathed out a long breath and spoke a bit louder. “Well I was just going to do my Arithmancy work too” she said gesturing at their open Arithmancy books. “I may as well sit here and do it if you don’t mind.”

Blaise looked over at Draco slightly but when he gave Blaise a subtle nod Blaise gestured to one of the empty seats and said “Be our guest.”

It was odd having Granger at their table and the three of them worked in uncomfortable silence the air still thick with tension but it was a start at some sort of fragile peace and for the first evening back it was more than Draco had ever hoped for. He could tell, however, that there were others in the library looking their way and some of them were not bothering to keep their insults about Draco quiet and after a while it started distracting him from his work. 

He turned to Blaise and muttered something about finishing it upstairs and started putting his books back in his bag. Blaise immediately started doing the same. Draco got up to walk away and Granger lifted her head. They were looking at each other again and Draco realised that he still hasn't said a single word to her. He didn’t think he liked her much but then she had made an effort hadn’t she? He should say something.

“See you around Granger.” He decided on before walking out of the library with Blaise.

They were just reaching the end of the corridor when Draco felt a tripping jinx hit his ankle. He stumbled over and landed very ungracefully on the floor. His head whipped around to where a group of fourth year Gryffindors were all stood laughing at him. The one at the front with his wand drawn puffed out his chest and called out.

“Show us the mark then!”

Blaise helped Draco to his feet. “You hurt?” He asked quietly.

“No, only my pride.” Draco replied sourly.

“Good job you’ve got enough of that then eh?” Blaise teased.

“Not sure I have anymore” Draco muttered.

“Come on, we wanna see it” called the Gryffindor boy once more.

“Ignore them, Draco. It will pass.” Blaise said and the two of them turned to leave.

He was worried that the Gryffindors might follow them but Professor Flitwick’s appearance in the corridor seemed to deter them… for now.

The trouble was, Draco wasn’t sure it would pass. Even though this was the first incident of the day, he had nearly been cursed last night and he could feel glares everywhere he went. It was only a matter of time before he got hit by something worse than a tripping jinx. 

  
  


They managed to get back to the seventh year common room without any more incidents and they saw Daphne reading at a table by herself so they went to join her. Blaise was asking after Astoria but Draco wasn’t really listening. To be honest he’d had enough of being around people all day, he just wanted to be alone. He was used to being on his own and the constant presence of people at Hogwarts was beginning to make him feel claustrophobic. The trouble was he also felt vulnerable on his own now, at least during daylight hours anyway. He’d feign a social interest in the conversation for now and then have a nighttime walk later.

Weasley, Longbottom and Potter obviously hadn’t made their way back to the common room yet either. Macmillan and Thomas were playing a game of wizards chess by the fire and Anthony was studying with Boot over on one the table. The four other girls were sat on the comfy bean bags at the far end but they seemed to be painting their nails rather than studying and gossiping as usual. It seemed Bones, Abbott, Brocklehurst and Turpin had formed quite a clique. Corner was nowhere to be seen. After an hour Longbottom returned looking cheerful and slightly disheveled. He went over to join Macmillian and Thomas. Thomas was raising his eyebrows and laughing at Longbottom whilst giving him little teasing jabs and Macmillian reached over to ruffle Longbottom’s hair even more. Longbottom was laughly coyly.

All things considered it hadn’t been a bad first day back. Weasley, Corner and Thomas were still shooting daggers at him everywhere he went and seemed to want to be as far away from him as possible but after what happened with Smith they weren’t openly causing trouble. Potter was sometimes around sometimes not. He didn’t seem to mind being around Draco but wasn’t really making an effort to talk to him. The same could be said for Longbottom and Macmillian. Granger was still giving him nervous looks but she had taken a step. Boot and the rest of the girls were just firmly ignoring Draco like he wasn’t even there. Anthony was the only one that was actively being friendly but it was one more friendly face so Draco was content with that. Then there was Luna, Draco thought. Maybe he should try and talk to her at some point.

With that thought, Draco registered that it was getting late and he still wanted to hit the showers and get changed before anyone else made a move to, so he told the others he was tired and left them to it. Fifteen minutes later he was in bed with his curtains drawn. He realised in that moment how tired he actually was. Despite being used to not sleeping, he at least usually got a couple of hours but he’d had none at all last night and it really had been a long day. Maybe tonight without Smith he could relax a little bit and allow himself to sleep…

  
  


_ He was sitting at home in the rose garden with Blaise and Daphne and they were all laughing at something Blaise had said. They were having a picnic on the green grass, the weather was glorious yellow sunshine and the roses all around them were brightly coloured and beautiful.  _

_ All of a sudden the sun was gone and the garden was covered in darkness. The roses all turned black and shriveled up in front of his eyes and all light and colour was gone from the world.  _

_ Draco could feel the mark burning on his arm. _

_ No. No it could not be, not him, not again. _

_ A cloud of black smoke swirled in front of him and formed a robed figure before his very eyes. His pale head was bald, he had snake-like slits for a nose and his eyes were menacingly red and piercing.  _

_ It spoke to him in a high cold voice. _

_ “Draco, I have been looking for you. You did not come and find me after the battle. Did you think I had lost? Did you think I could die like a mere mortal?” _

_ “No, you can’t be here, you’re not real” _

_ “Tut tut Draco, so little faith I would punish you but I need you to do a job for me.” _

_ “I can’t, I won’t, I won’t do it. Just kill me instead, kill me please.” _

_ “Kill you? No I think not. You are my faithful servant Draco, I need you. Your friends however are not, I don’t need them.” _

_ Suddenly Draco remembered Blaise and Daphne. He turned around just in time to see a bright green light hit Daphne square in the chest. She crumpled back onto the grass, her eyes open but lifeless. _

_ No, Daphne! No! _

_ Maybe he could still save Blaise. Blaise hadn’t noticed anything was wrong, he was still laughing happily. Why hadn’t he seen? Could he not see? _

_ Draco reached for his wand, but he didn’t have it. Where was it? _

_ RUN BLAISE, he shouted, but it was no good. Why couldn’t Blaise hear him? _

_ Another green light soared through the air and Blaise’s body fell back too, his last laughed still etched on his face. _

_ No not, Blaise. _

_ Blaise, Daphne. Gone. He couldn’t save them. _

_ The voice spoke to him once again, _

_ “Now Draco, the job I require of you. You must go back to school and you must kill Harry Potter. Do it or else your mother will die. Do it Draco.” _

_ “No I won’t” _

_ “You will obey me Draco. CRUCIO” _

“NOOO…”

  
  


He woke with a start, his chest heaving, his body cold, shivering but drenched in sweat. He didn’t think he’d cried out in his sleep but he couldn’t be sure. He definitely needed to calm his breathing down, that in itself was loud enough to be heard by the others. He wasn’t sure what the time was but it was dark in his dorm and he was sure the others had come to bed. After a few minutes he managed to get it under control. He opened a small gap in his curtains to look at the clock on his bedside table, it was 1am. At least he’d got a couple of hours sleep in but he couldn’t stay here. Not now, he needed air, he needed to breathe. 

He got up quietly and slipped out of his bed. Smith’s bed that had never been slept in was still there to see but the other two had the curtains round tightly round. He quietly made his way out of the room, snuck through the common room and was out in the school corridor. It wasn’t a conscious decision but he somehow knew where he would end up and soon enough he was climbing the stairs to the Astronomy tower once more. He stepped out and could feel the refreshing night time air hit his face. 

Then he realised that he was not alone.


	15. The Astronomy Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We discover who Draco found at the top of the Astronomy tower (as if there was any doubt!) plus we get to see Draco's second day of classes including his first DADA class with Bill.

“Potter” Draco stammered in surprise. 

What was Potter doing here of all places, and now at this time? This was supposed to be Draco’s place where he came to escape the nightmares and be alone. Potter looked just as surprised to see him. He was sitting on the ground with his knees brought tight to his chest, curdled up as small as he could be. This was another vision of the lost broken man he’d seen down by the lake after the battle. Potter had obviously come up here to be alone too. When he noticed Draco he unfurled immediately letting his legs go down across the floor and squaring his shoulders but he didn’t get up. He was studying Draco’s face but he didn’t seem to know what to say so Draco spoke first.

“Sorry, Potter, I didn’t know you were up here. I’ll go.” He said quietly and turned to leave.

“No, wait!” Potter called back. Draco turned back to look at Potter once more. Potter hesitated but then spoke once more. “No offence, Malfoy but you look like shit… erm are you ok?”

Great. Just what he needed. He didn’t think anyone would see him so he hadn't bothered to check what he looked like. The least thing he needed was for Potter to know about his night terrors.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing” He said defensively and looked down at the floor. 

After a pause he heard a soft voice. “You get them too huh?” it asked.

Draco looked back and studied Potter’s face this time and not just his body. His eyes were red and puffy, his face paler than it usually was and a bit clammy, suddenly he felt stupid for not realising that Potter would get nightmares too.

“Yeh, all the time actually.” Draco found himself confessing. He would never usually admit something that made him so vulnerable, so weak, especially to Potter but somehow saying it out loud made him feel better.

“Me too.” Potter said looking out into the night sky.

Silence followed but it was a comfortable silence, a moment of peace and stillness. Draco made a decision and went to sit down on the floor like Potter. He was facing out to the night sky too but a comfortable distance away, not too close, not too far. It was oddly comforting to share this silence with Potter and he obviously thought so too because his body language relaxed and he made no moves to leave. After a while Draco found himself sharing again although he had no idea why, it just felt right.

“It was  _ Him _ … He came back. He said he’d never really died. He came to find me.” He said quietly.

“Yeh… that’s a regular of mine too.” Potter said in a quiet, sad voice. He was still looking out ahead, not looking at Draco but when he spoke again after a long pause his voice was bolder than before. “But he is really gone you know. He’s dead, for good this time. He’s never coming back… He’s gone.” His finger started absentmindedly tracing the faded lightning bolt scar on his forehead before he added “I can feel it” he said in a whisper into the night time air. 

“Yeh I know.” Draco replied before he added something of his own, his right hand gently resting over the area on his left forearm that hadn’t burned at all since that day. “I can feel it too.”

They sat there for a couple of hours, not talking, just sitting, breathing, being. It didn’t even feel like a long time it just felt comfortable, felt right, to be alone but not alone. Draco had questions he wanted to ask but somehow he knew he’d have time to ask them, for now this was nice. After a while they started to get a bit cold and Potter suggested they should go back to their room. They walked in silence back towards the common room but just as Draco was about to walk through the door Potter grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. The touch was odd, it was gentle but strong at the same time. Draco couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched him, other than to shake his hand, this was different, personal somehow, to feel Potter’s fingers on the soft skin of his wrist. Draco paused and looked back at Potter who let go quickly but looked into his eyes and spoke softly.

“If - when- you have another one, you can always wake me you know… if you need to. I’ll probably be awake anyway. I think we all get them, you know. Anyway, the offer is there.”

“Right, yes, thank you… you too.” Draco replied in an awkward manner than he didn’t usually have.

“And erm, don’t worry about Tony, you know, he’s alright, decent guy actually.” Potter stammered. “I, er, had one last night, you weren’t there, I know… but anyway, Tony, he heard me, it was bad… but he got me some water and sat with me for a bit. He didn’t say anything to anyone either and he won’t you know...” Potter trailed off.

“Ok, that’s… good to know. Thanks.” Draco said not really sure if that was the right thing to say or not and he couldn’t help thinking about the fact that Potter had noticed his absence from the dorm room.

They walked back in quietly together and crept into their separate beds, curtains pulled shut once more. Draco slept on and off until morning but he woke peacefully and despite still only having about four hours sleep in total he felt well rested. 

  
  


An hour later he found himself back in Great Hall eating breakfast once again. He smiled as he saw some cinnamon buns on the table and helped himself to one. It was damn good, but it did make him think of the Manor. He wasn’t exactly  _ homesick _ but he was thoughtful of his mother sitting at home alone and it made him miss he could be with her. They had gotten used to having breakfast together in Draco’s sitting room and he wondered where she was taking hers at the moment. The other thing he was missing was the coffee. He’d never really drunk it before this summer but now he found he couldn’t start the day without it and looking around there didn’t seem to be any on the table. Suddenly he missed Pinky too, and not just because he could get whatever he liked from her but because it was her. Merlin, he never thought he’d actually miss a house elf in that way. Just as he was contemplating whether he could ask the teachers for some coffee, a steaming pot of coffee appeared out of nowhere on the table. Excellent, he thought as he poured himself a mug, it smelt strong too and just the smell alone immediately made him relax. Then he heard that voice that he knew so well.

“Malfoy?” He looked up to see Potter half standing awkwardly and looking in his direction. “Is that coffee?” he asked quietly as if shy.

This was the first time that Potter had spoken directly to him with other people around. A few others were looking nervously between them as if unsure how this interaction would go. Somehow their nervous glances were making Draco feel on edge and it seemed like a big moment for someone asking a simple question. But it wasn’t just  _ someone _ was it? This was Potter. 

“Yes Potter it is coffee how very observant of you.” He drawled before he could help himself, the nerves making him slip back into his Malfoy tone. Just then Blaise elbowed him subtly in the ribs under the table. He sucked in his breath and forced a half smile onto his face looking up at Potter trying to make it seem like a joke and not an insult. “Would you like some?” He asked as genuinely as he could manage.

A look of relief spread across Potter’s face before he gave a sort of half smile back at Draco. 

“If I’m allowed some, your  _ Highness _ .” He replied cheekily and did a sort of mock half bow that actually made Draco chuckle and the smile on his face was actually genuine now. Merlin’s beard were he and Potter actually joking together casually over breakfast? 

“Can the Chosen One not get his own coffee now? Well something will have to be done about that. Maybe I’ll ask the house elves to bring you an ornate gold one that’s just for you, we’ll call it Potter’s Pot.” Draco replied jokingly, there was no malice in it this time though. 

“I’m sure your coffee will do just fine, no doubt you would only have the finest arabica coffee beans from Ethiopia or somewhere, now just hand it over before it gets cold.” 

Draco casually flicked his wand and wordlessly made the coffee pot float over to sit in front of Potter.

“Show off” Potter called out but he took it and poured himself a mug.

“You’re welcome Potter, and it's Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee by the way, very rare.” He said grinning.

“Of course it bloody is” He heard Potter mutter.

“Is it really?” Blaise whispered to him once everyone had returned to their own conversations.

“No idea.” Draco shrugged, still smiling.

  
  


It turned out that all the seventh years had a free period first and last thing on Fridays which many were pleased about as they all returned to their common room after breakfast. Most of the girls disappeared back into their bedroom chatting away. Some of the more studious boys immediately sat down at the tables in the common room and got their books out. Draco, Blaise and Daphne followed suit as they found themselves on a table with Anthony. The other table had Boot, Corner and Macmillian on. 

“This is excellent,” Weasley said as he collapsed into the sofa by the fireplace. “Well mostly excellent” He muttered looking over at Draco. Then quickly looked away. “Hey Harry wanna play exploding snap?” He called out normally again.

So Potter and Weasley were obviously back on good terms, thought Draco. It was hard to keep up with those two at the moment.

“Yeh alright.” Potter happily agreed.

“You two are supposed to be studying!” Granger barked at both of them to the amusement of Longbottom nearby. 

“Relax Hermione, we have another free period later, we’ll do the Herbology homework then.” Weasley said back casually.

“I thought you said you were going to go flying then?!” She said accusingly. 

A guilty look came across Weasley’s face. “Oh yeh.”

Potter sighed. “Maybe we should do some work now Ron.” 

“Yeh alright.” He said back reluctantly.

“Well Ginny and Luna have a free now too, Neville and I said we’d meet them in the library, I just need to get my things. You both coming?” Granger asked them.

“Sure.” Weasley said and got up to follow her but Potter seemed hesitant and hadn’t moved. 

“She won’t mind you know, Harry.” Granger said to him softly.

He sighed. “I know... but... it’s fine, you guys go. I’ll catch you in Charms.”

“Alright mate.” Ron said quietly and then he left with Granger and Longbottom. 

Potter went to his room and came back with his Charms book. He came over to Draco’s table and addressing no one in particular he said “mind if I sit with you guys?”

Anthony replied on their behalf “Go ahead.” Potter sat in the empty chair between Anthony and Daphne. He shared a nervous but polite smile with Daphne before Anthony tapped the charms book he’d just put on the table. “We haven’t even had charms yet you can’t possibly have homework.” He commented.

“Yeh I know, but I haven’t touched this book since 6th year and I’ve always been rubbish with theory, can’t hurt to revise.” Harry said, shrugging. 

“It will all be about non-verbal spells again I bet.” Said Blaise.

  
  


Blaise’s prediction was spot on. Charms had indeed all been about non-verbal spells but Draco didn’t mind that, he was actually quite good at them and Charms was one of the classes he shared with Daphne and Blaise so he’d enjoyed it. It was Defence Against the Dark Arts that Draco was most worried about. So much so that he wasn’t really eating the food in front of him this Friday lunchtime. It was the one class that all of them were taking and everyone else seemed pretty excited about it apart from him. Draco wondered again whether he should have dropped it as they finished off lunch and headed to the defence classroom but he knew what McGonagall would have said. It wasn’t that he thought he’d do badly at it. He could duel pretty well and knew lots of offensive spells but not all of them were ‘Ministry approved’ exactly. His defensive magic could probably do with some work but he wasn’t bad at it and he knew all the theory. It was the fact that this class out of all of them was the most likely to bring up stuff about the war, stuff he didn’t want to think about that made him uneasy. Not to mention who would be teaching it.

The small group of them were huddled outside when the Professor that Draco had been most trying to avoid opened the door and he saw the scars that made him feel sick once again.

“Come in” He called cheerfully.

They walked into a room that had no tables or chairs in all but it had no target dummies either. In the middle of the floor were just lots of beanbags and large cushions. The professor’s desk was there but it had been pushed against the wall. Instead of going to sit at it the teacher took one of the bean bags and casually sat down on it at the front of the room. 

“Sit down, make yourself comfy, grab a cushion.” He called out and people started to follow his example.

Draco had never sat on a bean bag in his life and found it most undignified as he reluctantly sunk into one at the back of the room. What sort of lesson was this? He looked at his new Professor having never been up close to the eldest Weasley before, apart from well… He pushed that night out of his mind. Professor Weasley was tall like the other Weasley in the room but thinner. He had the signature red hair of course but it was much longer than his brother’s and tied back in a scruffy man bun that showed off his dangling earring. He looked even less like Professor now than he had on the first night. At least then he’d been wearing robes. Now he was wearing brown slacks over a pair of dragon hide boots and a casual white shirt with the top button undone. He had been surprised to see the least when he heard Fleur Delacour married a  _ Weasley _ but he could see it now. This particular Weasley was actually kind of handsome. Salazar! What the bloody hell made him think that, and he pushed that thought out of his mind too quite determinedly. 

“Right, excellent. Got to be honest this was the class I was most looking forward to!” The teacher said enthusiastically once they were all sitting down.

“If you think I’m calling you ‘Professor’ you’re out of your mind.” Weasley muttered under his breath but somehow loud enough for everyone to hear. A couple of people laughed at this.

“Don’t worry brother, I won’t make you! But don’t tell Ginny cos I told her she had to!” More laughter followed but Draco just frowned at the number of Weasleys he couldn’t seem to escape from. Their Professor carried on. “In fact, in these four walls you can all call me Bill but outside of class you’d probably best call me Professor Weasley, especially if McGonagall’s around! Anyway, let’s get to it then. I thought we’d start off with a bit of a chat-” 

Draco sighed inwardly, were they actually going to be taught something or was this just a social occasion for Weasley and his friends?

“-I really just want to know what level you’re all at before I plan the lessons too much. This is a pretty unique class and I’m not really sure how much I’ll even have to teach you to be honest! So I reckon most of the theory you can learn yourselves, of course we’ll have lessons where I check in on that to make sure you’re on track. I think you’ll be quite knowledgeable but we just need to make sure you know the stuff that’s actually going to come up in your exam so I’ll get you some practice papers of course. Mostly though I want to provide a safe and fun environment for you to practice your magic cos that’s the stuff you can’t do so much outside of class. I think you’ll all have the basics covered really especially from the rumours I’ve heard about certain students taking matters into their own hands as far as defence lessons huh?” He said with a smile and a wink towards Potter. 

Most of the group were also turning to each other and smiling all in on the worst kept secret around. It was only the three at the back who weren’t included in this moment. Draco had a sudden rush of jealousy as he remembered trying to figure out what the group had been up to during fifth year. He was trying to suppress this old feeling but it was hard. Looking around the room now he realised he was still jealous. How different could things have been for him if someone had thought to invite him into ‘Dumbledore’s Army’? What did they all know that he didn’t? Of course they wouldn't have though, he knew who he had been back then, it was a ridiculous idea that they would have recruited him.

Professor Weasley -Draco would not call him ‘ _ Bill’ _ whatever the man said- carried on.

“Obviously our focus this year will be on non-verbal magic too as with your other N.E.W.T classes. I’m sure you know that for defence this is particularly useful as it definitely gives you an advantage in combat. For those of you wanting to become Aurors it will be crucial to master. We may also try some wandless magic too, definitely useful to have a couple of tricks up your sleeve if you find yourself disarmed. Don’t get your hopes up about that though, some of you won’t be able to do it, maybe ever and that’s ok, you’ll have other strengths. What I really want to achieve this year though more than anything is for each and every one of you to learn proper control over your magic. To be able to truly master it means that your magic works for you in every situation at exactly the time you mean it to, in precisely the right location with the perfect amount of force. You will all have strengths and weaknesses in this no doubt, some of you will have power but without control some of you will have precision but lack strength. Over the next couple of weeks I really want to see what your strengths and weaknesses are and then I can start to pair you up with someone that has the opposite traits so that you can help each other out and learn from each other. I hope that sounds good.”

The students were hanging on his every word and most were nodding enthusiastically. Even Blaise had a raised eyebrow and was clearly impressed which didn’t come easily to him. Draco had to admit that the lessons sounded good and the idea of mastering his magic in that way greatly appealed to him. He was pretty good at non-verbal casting in duels, the only good thing that came out of his training with his crazy aunt, but he’d never been able to do anything wandless before. He remembered feeling really vulnerable and powerless when Potter had taken his wand and he never wanted to feel like that again. Suddenly he was determined to apply himself in this class and he very much wanted to be one of the few that could manage a wandless spell by the end of the year. He remembered the power he’d felt across the room from Potter when he’d cast that wandless shield charm. He wanted to have that power. He wanted it a lot.

After the excited chatter had calmed down, their teacher addressed the room once more, this time his voice was more sombre.

“I just wanted to say that I know this class might be…  _ difficult  _ for some. I’m not going to lie to you, it might bring up some painful things, we’ve all got... bad memories now, myself included...” He said sadly. 

The smiles from a moment ago had vanished now and lots of people were looking quite sad. Weasley in particular had his face screwed up as if trying not to cry and was looking at a very uninteresting patch of ceiling. Granger put her arm around him gently and pulled him close. A vision of a red headed man lying on the floor of the Great Hall with a bunch of sobbing redheads gathered around him filled Draco’s head. He hadn’t thought about what he’d seen until now, he had a lot of repressed memories that he hasn't processed but it suddenly occurred to him that the Weasleys had lost someone and he felt a tiny hint of compassion towards Potter’s best friend that he’d never felt before, no wonder the guy was angry. 

After a long pause Professor Weasley continued “...but sometimes these things do need to be confronted and I hope that we can help each other this year. Maybe we can slowly get rid of the baggage that we’re carrying. You are all far too young to have been through what you’ve been through and I realise some of you may feel like this class is a little too late. This is a time of peace now and I very much hope you will never have to use what we learn this year but I’m hoping that by gaining more control of your magic and mastering defence it can help you feel stronger and safer out in the world. If you’re anything like me then challenging your grief, your anger in a practical way can help but I don’t want you to do it to each other outside of this classroom where you could get carried away and hurt each other. This will be our safe space, in all meanings, ok guys?”

“Yeh Professor, that sounds good.” Corner spoke out determinedly and people seemed surprised to hear his voice come out so strongly as he’d been pretty quiet around them until now.

“It really does sound good Bill.” Potter said to him in a quieter voice and clapped his hand on his shoulder as he was sitting next to him.

Lots of others were joining in and agreeing. Then the moment that Draco had been waiting for happened. Bill Weasley looked him straight in the eye. Draco stilled expecting to see some malice there but he was surprised when there was none. The man was looking at him softly but questioningly trying to gauge Draco’s reaction as he had been the quietest student so far. Draco swallowed the lump in his throat and forced him to give his Professor an approving nod, reminding himself that despite who this man was Draco really did the words he said had been good. Then the Weasely Professor actually smiled at him and nodded his head back. Draco breathed a sigh of relief, maybe this class could turn out to be good after all.

  
  


The rest of the day had been fine and everyone had enjoyed the free period after defence as it signalled the start of their first weekend. The homework they’d been given that day could wait at least a day and it was a warm sunny afternoon still, perfectly for lazing about on the grass outside.

Most of the other seventh year boys had gone flying as McGonagall had said they could use the pitch whenever it was free for some leisure time even though none of them were allowed to play for their old houses this year. Draco had felt a pang of envy when he’d seen them walk towards the pitch thinking he’d secretly love to go flying but he still hadn’t faced his new fear of it so he was grateful that no one had asked him or Blaise. 

Dinner had been very uneventful too and the common room had been very quiet after as everyone except Blaise, Daphne and Draco had gone down Hogsmeade to enjoy their first night of being able to go to the pub. It was nice to have the space to themselves for once and Draco had taken the opportunity to write a letter to his mother. He knew McGonagall had to read it first so he was careful what he wrote but he didn’t want to worry his mother anyway so he left all the negative stuff out. He had his first probation meeting with the Headmistress since school had started in the morning so he could give her the letter then. 

All too quickly Draco found himself back at his least favorite time of the day staring at the black wooden ceiling on his four poster bed. He had been expecting Potter at least, if not Goldstein too to stumble in around midnight a bit worse for wear but he was surprised to find they came in quietly as normal. About an hour later, the soft rhythmic breathing from the bed next to his told him that Anthony was asleep and he thought that Potter was too but he wasn’t sure. Allowing himself to slip back into the false sense of security that his dorm room was a safe space at night he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I particularly like the cute funny little coffee scene at breakfast, hope you do too!  
> Please let me know what you think, I love reading your comments they motivate me!  
> Constructive criticism is also welcome, thanks!


	16. The Pieces of the Puzzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco finds himself up on the Astronomy tower again and a now friendly face follows him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I had some lovely comments I thought I'd treat you to another chapter!  
> Please keep the comments coming, they motivate me! :D  
> Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy.

He was wrong. Nowhere was safe at night. One of his regular night time visions came to haunt him as he saw the flash of green light hit the Headmaster in the chest, his face go still and his body tumble backwards off the top of the tower. He woke clammy and shaky once again with erratic breathing. The curtains on his bed and the darkness that surrounded him were closing in on him. He had to escape. He had to go and he knew exactly where he was heading. Five minutes later he was standing in the very spot that Albus Dumbledore had breathed his last breath and he was looking down at the distance patch of grass that his lifeless body had fallen on too. 

Why was he here again? He had no idea why being here was a good idea, it wasn’t really. Everything in him was telling him he was crazy for returning to this place three nights in a row but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to stop coming. It felt strangely cathartic even if he didn’t understand it. He was so focused on his thoughts that he didn’t even hear the footsteps coming up the stairs. 

“I thought you’d be here.” Said a quiet voice from behind him. 

He knew who it was without having to turn and check and weirdly he found himself neither surprised or upset about it, like he had known he was coming. From the corner of his eye he saw Potter come and stand next to him, not too close but too far, like last night, only this time they were on their feet.

“Is it ok that I’m here?” The same quiet voice asked again.

“Yes, it’s fine.” Draco said back, knowing that it actually was fine.

After a short pause with the two of them standing looking out onto the night sky, Potter spoke again.

“We went to the Hog’s Head tonight to see Ab... Aberforth I mean, you know, his brother… and, erm, it was nice but it just made me think of  _ him _ … you know?”

“Right, yeh…” Said Draco in a flat voice, not really knowing what to say.

Potter hesitated but then continued. “Was it him… was it that night, in your nightmare just now?” he asked carefully.

Damn it, how much had Potter heard? Maybe he should start casting  _ Muffliato  _ on his roommates before bed. No point denying it, for some reason he didn’t want to lie to Potter anyway. Potter had been at his trial, Potter knew more about him now than anyone at school really, even Blaise probably.

“Yeh it was.” He said quietly.

“But you know it wasn’t your fault, right?” Potter replied quickly.

“I guess so, but doesn’t make it any easier. I disarmed him, I made him vulnerable, I brought the Death Eaters into the castle. I’m not innocent Potter.” He took a deep breath and then everything that he was feeling came out of him, like turning on a tap.

“I know Severus… did it and I know you said that he was with the Order all along but it still doesn’t all make sense to me to be honest. It’s like I have some of the puzzle pieces but not all of them and my brain is trying to put it together but it can't. It’s how I feel about the whole war to be honest. I didn’t keep up with any news over the summer. I shut myself away from it all and I told myself I just wanted to move on. I didn’t know but I didn’t want to know, it was over and I didn’t want to revisit it. Except I revisit things every night when I sleep and I can’t stop… So maybe I do need to know things, in order to understand what happened. In order to process it and move forward you know?”

He hadn’t meant to admit that much. There was one thing being civil with Potter but it was another thing to confide in him. He hadn’t even consciously put together everything that he had been feeling but as it came out of his mouth he knew it was the right thing to say and if anyone could help him put the pieces of the puzzle together it would be Potter. There was no one else he could ask. Potter seemed to understand too, he had turned to look at Draco now, Draco could sense it but he was still looking straight ahead. 

Potter took a deep breath. 

“Yeh, that makes sense actually. I don’t know how much you know. A lot of it came out in my final duel with  _ Him _ , you know, and a lot of people were there, they heard it, I don’t know if you did or not… but anyway a lot of those who did kept asking me about it, they wanted me to clarify certain things or tell it again but I just couldn’t you know? I told Ron and Hermione everything but I couldn’t keep going over it and over it again. As far as I know, one one there told the papers anyway. They’re all pretty loyal you know, but there was still a lot of bits of information and a lot of people. Some stuff gets out, gets retold, rumours spread. I was hounded all summer by journalists wanting the full story and people offering to write about it, about me, they’re still all desperate to publish it but I just didn’t want to talk about it…” He trailed off.

Draco thought he understood but he couldn’t help feel disappointed somehow. Of course Potter wouldn't want to talk about it, least of all with him. At least he’s explained and been nice about it.

“I understand that… I wasn’t asking for anything. It’s fine. Just forget it.” Draco said flatly.

“No.” Potter said so sharply that it made Draco finally turn and look at him. Potter seemed to have surprised himself. “Sorry… I’m shit with words, it never comes out right, I didn’t mean you.” He carried on “I understood what you meant and you deserve to know, all of it, whatever you don’t already know. I’ll tell you… it will help I think… like you said, you can’t move on unless you can make sense of it and put it behind you.” He took another deep breath and looked straight into Draco’s grey eyes. “Where do you want to start?” he asked boldly.

Draco was taken aback. “Are, are you sure?” He asked quietly, blinking in surprise.

Potter ran his hands through his messy black hair as he so often did, thinking for a moment.

“Yeh I’m sure, maybe it would be good for us too? You know, to put all our shit behind us. I have questions too... There’s a lot though, if you really want to know everything. It might take some time. “

“I have time, and I’ll answer your questions, it’s only fair.” Draco shrugged trying to be casual but failing.

Potter smiled at him. “I’ll make you a deal Malfoy, seeing as neither one of us seems to be able to sleep anyway, and I don’t particularly want to go through this with others around, how about we come up here every night and we each get to ask the other one question per night. We tell the truth and what we share doesn’t leave this space. If it’s a question that we don’t want to answer at the time or ever, we just say honestly that we don’t want to answer it. No pressure or anything. How does that sound?”

“You’ve got yourself a deal Potter.” Draco held out his hand to Potter this time and Potter took it straight away. His hand felt warm to Draco, his skin inviting and weirdly Draco found he didn’t want to let go again, but he forced himself to and then both sat down to get a bit more comfortable.

“Alright then, well you start, ask away I guess.” Potter laughed nervously. He was trying to smile but his hands were shaking. “Wait,” He said and Draco thought he was going to change his mind. “It’s colder tonight and I need something to take the edge off. Two seconds, Kreacher.” He called out and Draco was puzzled for a second until a very ugly looking old house elf appeared out of nowhere. He was dressed in an old dirty rag like most house elves but he had a gold shining locket around his neck that looked quite valuable. 

“You called, Master Harry.” He said bowing to him. 

“Er, yeh, thanks Kreacher, sorry if I woke you or anything.” Potter said to the house elf.

“Not a problem Master Harry, Kreacher is always here.”

“Great, thanks Kreacher, if it’s not too much trouble do you reckon you could bring us a couple of hot cocoas?” Potter asked nicely

The house elf turned to look at Draco and he was surprised to find himself being looked up and down, he wasn’t sure if he’d never been scrutinised by a house elf before, this one seemed a bit impertinent. 

“Master Harry is with the Malfoy boy. Is he bothering Master Harry?” Kreacher said frowning at Draco.

“No Kreacher, it's fine.” Potter chuckled and Draco couldn’t help feel he’d missed a joke. “Kreacher… the drinks?” Potter prompted.

The house elf turned back to his master. “Of course Master Harry, straight away.”

“And Kreacher, you know how I like it yeah?” Potter said and actually winked at the elf.

After the house elf vanished, Draco raised an eyebrow and asked “You have your own house elf? Here?”

“It’s not like that, the school didn’t give me my own personal house elf or anything.” Potter gave a little exasperated snort but then a flicker of something sad shot through his expression. “I… inherited him... but now he works here, although he’s pretty loyal to me now so he does help me out a lot I guess. He really wasn’t at first but it’s a bit of a long story… maybe one for another night!”

With a pop the elf was back on the top of the tower and passed a steaming mug of hot cocoa to Potter without hesitation. The second one Kreacher just put on the floor scowling at Draco when he did it. Then he was gone again.

“He doesn’t like me.” Draco said as he reached for his drink. “Thanks for this though.”

Potter laughed and Draco still had the feeling he was missing something. Although he couldn’t help the flutter of warmth that settled in him when he heard Potter properly laugh for the first time and it wasn’t anything to do with the sip of drink he just took.

“Funny, he used to love you, you should have heard him, but yeh, like I said I guess his loyalty has changed.” Potter said, taking a sip of his.

The cocoa was really good! Draco could feel warmth spreading into him and burning the back of his throat slightly slowly relaxing more than he had for a while.

“This has got firewhiskey in it hasn’t it?” He said accusingly but in a jokey tone.

“Yeh, don’t tell McGonagall!” Potter chuckled.

“Your secret is safe with me. We might need it for this conversation.” Draco said honestly.

“Yeh…” Potter trailed off and the jovial atmosphere evaporated. “Go on then, hit me with it.” He said more boldly.

Draco paused for a moment feeling serious once again. He already knew what he was going to ask, what he’d been thinking of when Potter had first walked up next to him that night, but he just didn’t quite know how to ask it. He couldn’t look at Potter as he spoke and his voice came out quiet and shaky.

“You said some things, at the trial, about that night here on this tower. How did you know? What don’t I know about that night?” 

Potter sipped his cocoa before saying quietly “I was here that night. I’m sorry…” 

“I guessed as much after, I thought I heard voices when I was coming up the stairs but then I forgot all about that until the trial then I realised it must have been you. You had your cloak then?” Draco asked. 

Potter nodded. He took another big sip of his drink before starting his story. He didn’t look at Draco as he told it and his hands were still a bit shaky. His voice though was calm and steady, emboldened by the firewhiskey no doubt. Draco didn’t interrupt him, he just let Potter speak and he was grateful that he now had something to hold in his hands. Focusing on drinking his drink he just listened and took it in. 

“I had been with Dumbledore that evening, we’d left the castle. The… task we’d had to do had already made him weak, anyway when we got here I was under the cloak over there but he immobilised me just as you disarmed him. I couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything, it was pretty frustrating but he knew what was going to happen and he knew I would have tried to stop it. Protecting me allowed him to be disarmed, I felt pretty guilty about that. He planned the whole thing you know, well I guess maybe you don’t but that’s what I told Voldemort-” 

Draco shuddered, he couldn’t help it and Potter noticed. 

“-sorry, I’ll call him Riddle, you look confused, guess you don’t know that either but his real name was Tom Riddle, a story for another night but it’s much less frightening if it helps you. Anyway, Dumbledore knew what was going to happen, he always knew and he planned it with Snape. You noticed his blackened hand right? It was a curse, we’ll cover that at some point too I guess, there’s a lot to say, but he’d been cursed and he was dying. It happened in the summer before sixth year and he only had a year to live so whatever happened he’d have died anyway. He knew that Riddle had given you the job but he didn’t want you to have to do it. He told Snape that it had to be him and not you, he said your soul was still pure and that if Snape did it it would ensure Riddle’s trust.

So you see it really wasn’t your fault but I’m glad for your sake that it wasn’t you that did it. I knew that you would never have done it. You might have been a bit of a prat over the years but you're not a killer Malfoy, you never have been and you never will be. I could see how scared you were that night. I don’t blame you, you know? For any of it. We were just kids, all of us and none of us knew the whole picture of what was going on, even me. We all had different puzzle pieces. know? It was all broken. We were each just playing the part we had to play, just trying to survive. I know a lot more now and looking back on things I see them differently and hopefully once you know all of it you will too.”

They were both quiet for a while after Potter’s little monologue. It was a lot to take in for Draco and Potter was just letting him absorb it. Dumbledore was dying anyway and he’d planned it with Severus. We were kids all just playing our part, trying to survive. Potter didn’t blame him, he was not a killer. He was repeating it all in his head until he could believe it. He wasn’t sure he could yet but he hoped in time he would. He knew he could never kill anyone, he was too much of a coward but he still made mistakes and did things he wished he’d never done. Wished he’d made different choices. After a while he found his voice.

“I just sometimes wonder what would have happened if I’d taken him up on his offer, straight away, before the other Death Eaters came up. What would have happened? I wanted to, you know, I was just so stunned by it that I just stood there. It was the first time anyone had offered me the choice. My whole life I was brought up to be a certain way, do a certain thing and I was raised to be just like my father. For such a long time I wanted to be him, but then I had to step into his shoes far earlier than I ever thought I would and in far worse circumstances. I wasn’t given a choice about the mark, he...  _ Riddle _ ... you’re right that is better...Riddle would have killed mother you know that and I couldn’t let that happen. There was no way out as far as I could see. Riddle was living in my house, father was away, Aunt Bella was taking over too. There was no choice. Then I was given a choice but it was too late by then. I couldn’t see how Dumbledore could get my mother to safety from our house where Riddle was at that very moment waiting for news of the mission. It was impossible to me… but what if someone had given me the choice earlier. It could have been different.”

“Yeh, I know. I’m sorry that no one gave you the choice in time, that no one helped you.” Potter said quietly. “You know you did make your own choice though. You chose a side. You chose at Easter when you had me at your mercy. You saved my life, and Ron & Hermione’s too… why?” Potter looked him in the eyes and asked.

“Is that your question for the night?” Draco said with a small smile.

“Yeh, I guess it is.”

“It was easy, you know.” Draco started in a flat but honest sort of robotic voice, not giving too much away and not dealing with feelings. “I didn’t have to think about it, it was just an instant decision. As soon as I saw who they had captured I felt sick and panicked inside. It couldn’t be you. You were supposed to stop him. I know there was a prophecy, I don’t know what it said but then they started saying all this stuff about you being ‘The Chosen One’. I know you can’t believe everything you hear so it probably wasn't even true but I chose to believe it. I put my hope in you, I told myself that if anyone could get rid of him it would be you so I wanted you to succeed. It was selfish. I wanted you to win for my sake, for the sake of my family. I’m not pretending to be a good person and I’m not saying I saved your life because I liked you or anything but I didn’t hate you by then. I stopped hating you a long time ago really. I didn’t have the energy to hate you anymore. So you say I made a choice but I didn’t see it like that, I just did what had to be done.”

“It was still a choice Malfoy and it was a brave one. Lying to Riddle, even indirectly was not any easy thing to do, that was crazy brave. Dumbledore once said something about choosing between what was right and what was easy. You could have taken the easy way out but you didn’t, you did what was right and I know what happened after... When Riddle showed up. I’m sorry about that. Everyone says I won the war like I did it by myself but that is so far from the truth it’s ridiculous. I nearly died so many times, Merlin, if you only knew, so many people saved me along the way. I couldn’t have done it without them and you’re part of that. It was true you know, the whole… ‘Chosen One’ thing. I hate that name by the way so if you ever call me that then this whole deal is off!... But it’s true, it had to be me. Whatever you want to tell yourself about the reasons why you did it the simple fact is if you hadn’t saved me that night I couldn’t have gone on to kill him. So therefore you helped to kill him too.”

“Salazar Potter, there’s a lot to deal with there.” Draco’s brain felt like it was about to explode, he had more questions than he’d had at the start of the night. “You really were The Chosen one? The Prophecy… what… and you know what happened after... how…” Draco stammered feeling tired trying to think all this through. Potter snorted and hung his head, he looked tired too. “Sorry,” Draco said looking at him, “one question per night. I got it. I’ll save those ones.” He said with a smile.

Potter looked up at him and smiled back. “Yeh, one question per night.”

They sat in silence for a couple more minutes while they finished off the rest of their drinks until Draco said “Did you ever think we’d both end up sitting here in our pyjamas exchanging stories and feelings drinking hot firewhiskey cocoa at three in the morning?!” 

“Nope, never in a million years” Potter replied with faint amusement.

“It’s not bad though, is it?” Draco asked shyly. 

“No, it’s not bad at all.” 


	17. The Tale of the House Elves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's first Saturday of term and another little night time trip to the Astronomy tower with Harry.

Draco’s first Saturday of term was pretty uneventful. Most of the seventh years had spent the evening before at the pub so they slept in late and missed breakfast. McGonagall made a bit of a comment when she saw it was just Draco, Blaise, Daphne, Anthony and Potter that turned up but she didn’t seem cross. A pot of coffee appeared immediately in front of Draco today when he sat down and after he poured himself a mug he set it down in front of Potter without a word. Potter had chuckled to himself but it had been a relatively quiet but peaceful breakfast. Blaise had asked Daphne if she wanted to walk into Hogsmeade that morning and Anthony had asked Draco why he wasn’t going but Draco said he had to meet McGonagall. Three of them there already knew he was officially on probation and Draco found that he didn’t mind Anthony knowing, oddly, even though Draco found it hard to trust anyone, he trusted him with this. Daphne said she wanted to go though and, to Draco’s surprise, Anthony asked them if he could go too and they agreed. 

Potter didn’t volunteer any information about how he was spending the day and Draco didn’t ask. After breakfast they went their separate ways. His meeting with McGonagall went well. Really she just wanted to know how things were with him after the whole Smith incident and if anyone else was causing any trouble. He reassured her truthfully that things were going better than expected for him even if he left out some of the things he saw still hearing from other students in the corridors. No one else had openly confronted him yet so it was ok. He gave her the letter for his mother and she said she would send it on and then they just spoke about his classwork. The Headmistress seemed pleased with him so far and he found himself oddly satisfied that he’d met her approval.

During his time in her office he couldn’t help glance up at the portraits of his two previous headmasters on the wall. He was still processing all the information he’d learnt last night but somehow, armed with the new knowledge Potter had given him, he found looking at their faces a lot easier. Maybe he was carrying around slightly less guilt than yesterday. It reminded him of what Professor Weasley had been saying about helping each other lighten their burdens, maybe there was some sense in that. Draco thought that Potter was still carrying around a heavy load too and he didn’t really understand why, but maybe in time he would. Draco thought Potter had comforted him a lot more than the other way round during their conversation and couldn’t think of anything he’d said that would have done it but Potter had seemed a bit brighter at breakfast this morning. 

It was odd, this new relationship with Potter. Draco was hoping to not be enemies this year and Potter had made that clear over the summer but he never thought they’d end up being friends. They still weren’t really, not by a long stretch but the more Draco thought about it, the more he reckoned they could be, maybe, at some point. The Potter that had talked honestly with him up on the Astronomy tower last night was definitely not the boy Draco had hated so much when they were younger. He had changed, a lot really, but then Draco wondered how much he really knew him before and whether he’d just been seeing what he wanted to see. Either way, he knew he wanted to know more about him. He wanted to know everything. Draco had even spent most of his Saturday wondering about how Potter was spending his. He’d always been a bit obsessed with Potter if he was honest with himself so in a way this was no different. Except it was different, it was completely different now. 

The night time was usually something he dreaded yet now he found himself willing away the day just so he could be sitting with Potter, looking out at the night sky and drinking hot cocoa, being more open and honest with him than Draco had ever been with anyone in his life. How had so much changed in the last 24 hours? Soon enough he got his wish. He got out of bed around midnight and crept up to the Astronomy tower. They hadn’t exactly agreed on a time, they usually just happened to meet up here but Draco knew he couldn’t sleep anyway so he may as well just wait here for him. 

He was sitting on the floor with his arms behind supporting him and his legs stretched out in front looking very relaxed. It was a little colder tonight so he was wearing his silk silver and black dressing gown too. He’d only been there about half an hour, enjoying the stars in the night sky when he saw Potter approach and sit down beside him, a little closer to him than last night. He was looking at him with a raised eyebrow in amusement.

“What?” Draco asked.

“Really? A matching silk dressing gown? The pyjamas were bad enough!”

“There is nothing wrong with my pyjamas, it’s not my fault that you have no taste. What on earth is that thing you’re wearing?” He said playfully in his old Malfoy schoolboy tone.

“It’s called a hoodie Malfoy, it’s nothing new.”

“It’s hideous.”

“It’s comfortable.” 

Draco could admit to himself that it did look quite comfortable but he’d never say so out loud. In fact there was something oddly comforting about Potter in general looking so relaxed in his grey and red checked pyjama bottoms and his dark red jumper, or ‘hoodie’ whatever that was. He couldn’t help but feel privileged that he was being allowed to see this rare version of ‘the real hero’ that the public didn’t get to see.

“So what have you been up to this fine Saturday?” He said casually trying not to tell himself that he’d been wondering this all day.

Potter shrugged. “Not much.”

“You spend it with your girlfriend?” Draco found himself asking before he even knew why.

Potter looked surprised. “I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Draco really wasn’t sure why he cared but for some reason he asked anyway. “Oh? I thought you were with that Weasley girl?”

“Oh, you mean Ginny.” Potter said. “No, we never really got back together... not properly anyway.” He said quietly.

Draco suddenly found himself annoyed that he’d so blatantly enquired about Potter’s private life. They definitely weren’t there yet. “Sorry, forget I asked.” He said quickly.

“It’s alright.” Potter shrugged and he genuinely didn’t seem to mind as he carried on. “After the battle, we found... comfort in each other you know, we've always been close and there was part of me that really wanted to be with her again. I missed her last year, I thought about her so much when we were on the run and I always thought if we made it out somehow that we’d be together. I think she did too but it just wasn't the same… I went back to the Burrow with them all, I didn’t really know where else to go. I thought Ginny and I could spend time together but it was hard being there... after Fred… We were kind of _together_ , and everyone thought that we were but we never actually _talked_ about it. Molly, Mrs Weasley, was fussing over us saying how nice it was, then the marriage word popped up out of nowhere and I was suddenly hit with this vision of us twenty years from now sending the second of our three kids off the Hogwarts...”

He took a short pause before carrying on. “I just realised that’s not what I want. I mean, yeh sure that sounds nice one day but we’re still so young you know? And Ginny, she’s great, she really is but we spent last year apart each going through our own thing. It was hard on both of us in different ways and we both have our own way of coping. I guess she doesn’t really understand what I went through, what I’m still going through. I thought she’d want to talk about it, to know everything that happened but she didn’t and I- I think I do want to talk about it, to process it all. She wants to just keep the past in the past and move on from it all. Also, she has this fire, this passion for life, it’s great but I just don’t share it. She was talking about travelling and playing quidditch and everything... she has all these plans you know and I wasn’t sure where I fitted into it all. When we eventually spoke about it, it turned out that the whole ‘married with three kids thing’ wasn’t what she wanted either. That made it easier. It was mutual and there’s no hard feelings but our friendship hasn’t really recovered to be honest and I think everyone else is a bit upset, especially Ron, I think they all wanted us to be together..”

There was a bit of an awkward pause before Potter laughed nervously.

“Sorry did I share too much?”

“Well it was a longer answer than I was expecting but it seemed like you wanted to get it off your chest so I didn’t want to stop you” 

“Hmm yeh, maybe I did need to. Thanks.” Potter said before changing to a more lighthearted tone. “So was that your question?!”

“Hey! No it was not, don’t cheat. I didn’t think we’d started yet.” Draco said indignantly. 

“I wasn’t aware there were rules!” Potter said playfully.

“The rule is we start when we get the hot cocoa!” 

“Ah right, of course!” Potter smiled. “Kreacher.” he called.

This time Draco was expecting the funny old house elf when he came.

“Yes. Master Harry.” Kreacher said taking in the scene and looking around at Draco.

“Same as last night please Kreacher, it, erm, might become a regular thing.” He said.

“Right you are Master Harry.” he said and then muttered “regular thing” under his breath before disapparating. 

“So how come your house elf happens to have a source of firewhiskey in the kitchen for you then?” Draco asked. 

Potter broke out in a cheeky grin that Draco couldn’t help but smile at. He could get used to seeing Potter’s face like that, he thought to himself. 

“Well saving the world has to have some benefits!” He said in mock arrogance.

Just then Kreacher came back and once again passed Potter his drink but put Draco’s on the floor just out of his reach. The house elf was eyeing Draco curiously.

“Is Master Harry friends with the Malfoy boy now?” Kreacher asked.

“Yes Kreacher, we’re fri-friend _-ly,_ it’s ok you can be nice to him again now.” Potter said in amusement. Draco had noticed him stutter over the word and it was mildly awkward, did Potter think they were friends? Had he just corrected himself because Draco was here? They were friendly but friends was a whole other matter. Friends call each other by their first name and Draco was definitely not ready to do that yet. He took his time in reaching to get his drink and bringing it to his lips so he had an excuse to look busy for a short time. Once Kreacher was gone Potter turned back to him.

“So question?”

“What’s the deal with the house elf? I got the impression there was a story there?” Draco asked. It wasn’t the question he had been planning to ask but there would be time for that and this one just came to him.

“Ah, yes that’s a good one. You’ll like it.” Potter said.

“Good.” said Draco. “Maybe we need something a bit more lighthearted tonight.”

“Yes, you could be right. Although I have to warn you that pretty much all my stories have some sadness in them now.” He said, his tone a bit more serious.

Draco felt sombre at Potter’s confession, that truly was a sad thing to say if it was true. How could he not have any good memories? But then, if he thought about it didn’t Draco feel the same? Everything was slightly tainted now, even his once happy visions of home and school.

“Yes, I know what you mean actually.” He found himself saying.

Potter was studying his face curiously but after a moment he stopped and looked down at this drink which he took a big sip of.

“So Kreacher…” He said as if not sure where to start but he took another sip and carried on. “I inherited him and the house he was bound to from my Godfather, you know, Sirius Black?”

“Sirius Black was your Godfather?” Draco said, surprised he hadn’t known that before, although when he thought about it, it did make sense. “First I heard, he betrayed your parents and was trying to kill you, then I heard he turned up at the Ministry on your side. Never quite made sense to me but I know that his family disowned him. Mother certainly never talked about him. He was the first Black to be in Gryffindor that much I do know! I expect you know that too. I guessed he might have been friends with your parents at one point but I wasn't really sure where him and Wormtail fitted into everything.” Potter was nodding along a bit but not speaking. Draco silently kicked himself for saying too much. “ I heard what happened to him… I’m sorry, if you were close…” 

“Yeah, I did take it pretty hard… it still hurts if I’m honest.” Potter was hanging his head down staring at his own lap.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, sorry, I was just asking about the elf I didn’t mean to…” Draco said awkwardly.

“It’s ok, I said you can ask anything, it’s fine but I'll tell you more about him and Wormtail another time.” Potter gathered himself and looked up once more and he looked better so Draco took it as a cue to carry on.

“So that means you got the Black inheritance?” Potter nodded. “Wow. Didn’t expect that. I’m related to the Blacks you know? My mother was one before she married my father.”

“Er, yeh I know. Your face is on the family tree tapestry in my house.” Potter said with a bit of a nervous chuckle.

“Oh, right. Yeh it would be. Sorry about that!” Draco said, if they were joking then did that mean they are ok?

“It’s ok. I mean I was pretty annoyed when I first saw it but your face isn’t as irritating to me as it once was.” Potter said casually.

“Good to know Potter!” Draco said in a mock sarcastic tone.

“Anyway, I don’t want the inheritance really, I don’t need the money and the house is awful. You should have seen it when we first started using it. It was filthy. Kreacher had been pretty neglectful, he was still mourning his old mistress. He worshipped the Black family, full of pureblood nonsense you know. He hated Sirius and he definitely hated us using the house for the order.”

“Yes that doesn’t surprise me, the Blacks were a notoriously dark family.”

“You don’t say! The house was full of dodgy stuff. We cleaned most of it out but Kreacher stole stuff back and hoarded it. He wasn’t loyal to Sirius or any of us and he wasn’t helpful but Sirius wasn’t exactly kind to him neither… it was hard. Anyway one day Sirius yelled at him to get out and he took it literally. He went to your place, to your mum and your aunt, he betrayed Sirius. The Ministry thing was a set up for me. I fell for it, I was stupid, it’s my fault… I went there cos I thought he was in danger, I went there to save him but…”

“We don’t have to talk about that, not now, if you don’t want to.” Draco said gently, part of him was astonished that he was offering some sort of comfort to Potter at all. He looked sad and for a split second Draco actually thought about giving him a hug but that was absurd. It was just strange to see Potter like this and Draco found that it sort of upset him that Potter was carrying around this much guilt when he had literally saved them all. He tried to move the topic on still thinking they hadn’t exactly got to the funny part.

“So what happened with Kreacher, he seems loyal enough to you now?”

“Yeh we’re good now, he’s great but it wasn’t always like that. You wanna know why I was laughing yesterday huh? That’s where this is going?” Potter was smiling now and Draco nodded in encouragement. “Sixth year, I knew you were up to something and no one else believed me, it was driving me mad you know. I kinda turned into a crazy stalker I admit but I couldn’t follow you all the time. So… I.. er, well I ordered Kreacher and erm, and Dobby to follow you and report back to me.” Potter admittedly with an embarrassed look. 

“You sent house elves to spy on me?” Draco asked incredulously, Potter nodded. “Well I can’t really blame you, I was _up to something_ wasn’t I?” He said with a tone of bitter resentment. 

“Hey, I don’t like the fact that I was right you know?” Potter said kindly. “But the funny thing is you should have heard him then. He hated serving me and he loved you. Merlin, he was always going on about how amazing you were, it was bloody annoying!” Potter smiled “Kreacher would much rather be the servant of the Malfoy boy, oh yes…” He did a good impression of the house elf’s voice which made Draco laugh.

“Well he certainly doesn’t seem to like me now! What changed?” Draco asked.

“His loyalties I guess. It's another long story but we needed his help with something last year. He was reluctant at first but I tried to order him as nicely as I could and explained to him the reasons why we were doing what we were doing… He ended up helping a lot and told us the whole story all about Regulus Black, he was a death Eater you know?” Draco nodded. “But he defected at the end. It was a pretty sad story and I actually felt kind of sorry for Kreacher. That locket he wears, I gave that to him, it belonged to Regulus and I said we were going to destroy Vol-, er, Riddle in Regulus’ name. Since then he’s been loyal to me and as nice as anything, he even fought in the battle on our side with the rest of the house elves.”

“Wow” Draco said quietly. He thought that Potter could probably get anyone on his side though with his talks of bravery, loyalty and vengeance, still it was impressive.

“Yeh” Potter said back.

“Still can’t believe you stalked me and set house elves to tail me!” Draco muttered, Potter smiled. They were quiet for a short time in comfortable silence drinking their drinks.

“What happened to Dobby? After… you know...” Draco asked slowly after a while.

“He died.” Potter said quietly. “He died saving us.”

“Aunt Bella’s knife?” Asked Draco cautiously. Potter nodded. “I did wonder, I’m sorry. He was… weird but a good house elf and my father was never kind to him.”

They carried on drinking their drinks in silence until the mugs were empty. Finally Draco turned to Potter. 

“So you got a question for me?”

“I dunno actually. I have a few but not sure if I can handle anything else heavy tonight.”

“I know what you mean. Can be anything though, doesn't have to be anything big.”

“Yeh you’re right.” Potter said slowly. “I guess I’d just quite like to get to know you. I’m beginning to think that we never really knew each other. We just saw what we wanted to see. I hate that actually. People everywhere think they know me because I’m famous, they always assume things but they don’t actually know anything about me. I think maybe I’ve been guilty of that too with you. I’d like to start over and get to you know, properly, if you’ll let me.” 

Draco swallowed a lump in his throat. Somehow this seemed more personal than just filling in each other's gaps of knowledge from the war. He wasn’t sure anyone had ever asked to get to know him properly before. He was quite guarded with things and only his mother and Blaise really knew him. Even then they didn’t know everything. But then isn’t this what Draco wanted all those years ago? To be Potter’s friend... This was his chance now. Hadn't he been thinking earlier that he wanted to get to know the man, properly, to know Potter like no one else did, wouldn’t that be something.

Slowly he nodded. “I’d like that too, to get to know each other properly.” he said honestly.

“Alright then.” Potter smiled. “So tell me something, nothing big just… I dunno, you like coffee I gather! So what’s your favourite food?” 

Draco breathed a small sigh of relief, start small, he could do this.

“I never used to drink coffee, that’s quite a new thing but yes I very much like to start the day with a big mug of strong coffee now. Guess that counteracts the lack of sleep!”

“Yeh I get that, believe me!” Potter said smiling.

“I don’t eat a lot to be honest. Always preferred quality over quantity, and you know I have to watch my figure!” He said jokingly.

“Of course!” Potter cut in teasingly.

“But my favourite has always been Italian food. Some of the best memories I have are of my childhood holidays in Italy. We have a villa there with our own vineyard, it’s so beautiful, all the colours… and the air. It’s not like the Manor. My father was... _different_ there, more relaxed, and the food is my kind of food. Everyone raves about the french cuisine you know, Pansy would never shut up about foie gras and duck á l’orange, but it’s too rich for me. I like things that are delicate, simple but beautiful, each thing isn’t much on it’s own but when it comes together it’s harmonious and it’s perfectly balanced, like potions in a way.”

Potter was quiet for a minute just looking at Draco and he suddenly felt a bit embarrassed that he’d gotten carried away, opened up too much. 

“So, maybe my first impression of poncy stuck-up git wasn’t too far off after all?” Potter teased.

“Shut up Potter!” and Draco gave him a playful shove on his shoulder instinctively. The teasing felt good though, kind of familiar territory and cleared the air of emotions for a bit but the friendly teasing was much nicer than the malicious stuff of their youth. 

“Ha, sorry Malfoy. Seriously though that was nice little insight thanks. I’m kind of jealous actually, I’ve never been on holiday.”

“You’ve never been on holiday?! Not once?!” Draco said disbelievingly. 

He knew Potter had been brought up by muggles but surely he would have gone away with them. He had money so surely they would too? Even the Weasley family had been to Egypt! Draco realised that he didn’t actually know anything about Potter’s upbringing though. A question for another night perhaps.

“No, never.” Potter said quietly. “Would be nice.”

“Well I daresay you’ve earned one Potter!”

“Yes! I rather think I have!” 

Draco suddenly had this vision of himself and Potter drinking wine on the terrace of the Malfoys Italian villa, in the sun, talking and laughing, sharing antipasti without a care in the world. It was nice. 

Merlin. What was happening here?!


	18. The Potions Project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's first potions lesson is here! :)  
> Enjoy.

Sunday passed with only one incident. Draco, Blaise, Daphne and Tony (who seemed to join their little trio a lot now) had been studying in the library as Daphne had wanted to check in on Astoria too who was sitting with them. Draco had only got up to go to the toilet, surely it was safe to go to the bathroom at the end of the corridor by himself... Apparently not. As soon as he’d finished at the urinal (thankfully he had already done up his trousers) three Gryffindor fifth year boys came in with their wands already drawn. They had clearly followed him. Draco got his out instinctively, he was good but he was still not sure if he could face off against three at once and a couple of these guys were quite big, not necessarily tall but broad. He recognised two of them as the beaters that replaced the Weasley twins on the quidditch team. 

They had been shouting insults at him but he had brushed them off planning his defensive moves, refusing to let them rile him up. The one he didn’t recognise fired a jinx first but he dodged it. He was quicker than them with his seeker reflexes. He put a shield charm to reflect another one from another boy and it hit the sink causing it to crack. Just as he was getting ready for another attack the door of the bathroom burst open and Professor Weasley had come through the door looking furious. The three Gryffindors stopped at once and tried to hide their wands but it was too late they had been seen. Draco still had a shield charm up in a defensive position and it had been obvious what had happened. 

The red headed professor had docked them a ton of house points and given all three of them detention. They had been outraged and actually attempted to argue back with their head of house. One of them claimed that they should be “within their rights to attack a Death Eater” which had earned him another detention. Draco had been pleased the Professor had come in to put a stop to it but the whole thing had made him feel very vulnerable. He had a massive target on his back still and he knew it. He couldn't even go to the bathroom by himself it seemed. He was frustrated that just as things were starting to get better, there had been another set back. Another incident to remind him of who he was and that he was not welcome here. Suddenly he felt angry that he had to be here, maybe it would have been better for him to serve his probation at home after all. He hadn’t told the others about it. He didn’t need their pity or their worry.

He had been quiet during his night time chat with Potter and the other boy could tell there was something wrong but he hadn’t pushed Draco to find out. In the end they hadn’t talked too much; they had just been asking simple ‘get to know each other’ type questions, talking about treacle tarts and cinnamon buns. It had definitely been one of their shorter conversations but weirdly Draco just found comfort in sitting next to Potter in relaxed silence once more. He’d actually had a decent few hours sleep after their talk on Saturday night but he hadn’t even tried last night. He could tell by his mood that a nightmare could come if he closed his eyes so he had fought to keep them open. 

  
  


When Monday morning came Draco found his feet walking the familiar path down to the dungeons for double potions. He hadn’t been to this part of the castle yet. It was comforting and painful for him all at the same time with memories of Snape coming back to him. He was looking forward to potions though, brewing always helped to calm his mind but he wasn’t sure how it would be with the new teacher. She was ready for them when they started coming in standing at the front of the room. She looked stern but not unfriendly, almost the same look that Professor McGonagall often had although they looked nothing alike. This Professor was young, maybe 30, around the same age as Leo. She had mid length straight black glossy hair which she wore down under her very dark red pointy witches hat. Her complexion was on the pale side but she was pretty, no doubt about that with black eye makeup and dark red lipstick. Her black robes had a deep red trim on them to match but overall they were simple and elegant in design. 

The first few students had started to sit down but she stopped them raising her hand with a flat palm and beckoning them forward.

“Stop! You do not know who you are working with or what you are doing yet so you cannot possibly choose your seats.” 

Her tone reminded Draco of his mother, clear, articulate, formal and polite but emotionless and still gave the impression that she could be harsh if she needed to be. 

“Please come to the front and I shall explain.” She said, slightly softer.

The students looked around some showing mild concern others looked slightly excited but they all did as they were told quietly.

“This class will be most difficult for you all. I do not yet know what your skill levels are but you must have done well enough in the past or you would not be here. I am expecting great things from you but I warn you that if you do not work hard you will soon find yourself left behind and it will be very difficult to keep up. I like structure and order in my class. You shall have the same potions partner throughout the year so I urge you to choose wisely.”

A couple of people started giving each other looks and trying to identify their partner. Draco had been thinking about this but there wasn’t a clear solution. He wanted to partner with Blaise but that would mean leaving Daphne on her own which hardly seemed fair. Tony was here too so that could be an option but he noticed that Boot was sticking very close to his side nervously. 

“You will of course be having the more normal lessons where I teach you to brew certain potions that will come up in your examinations. However, a large part of the seventh year N.E.W.T. course work will be made up of your potions project which you will be doing with your partner. This is why I urge you to choose the person who you would work best with and not just your friend. Together you will be required to do tricky experimental work to make your own brand new potion. It will take months of hard work, dedication and research. You will no doubt experience many setbacks and some of you may even fail.” 

People were looking a bit more nervous now, this was definitely going to be hard. Draco loved a challenge though and had been experimenting with improving basic potions for years so this sounded great. To him the idea of creating a brand new potion excited him like nothing else had this year and he was now immensely grateful for this education opportunity.

“The best course of action is to think about something you want to achieve where a similar potion already exists but maybe it’s outcome is not quite what you’re looking for or it has other adverse effects. That way you have a base to start from but you can make yours unique. Today I want you to simply find your partners and do some planning. I will give you twenty minutes to form a basic idea and then I will start coming round to look at your initial plan and give you further instruction. I am happy to give you a small amount of guidance but it has to be your idea and your work. Right then pair up and take your seats.”

Boot immediately grabbed Anthony and whisked him away to a table at the side and Macmillan and Bones went to sit at a table on the other side. That left Draco, Blaise and Daphne standing at the front with...of course, Granger, Weasley and Potter. Daphne was looking nervous and Weasley was glaring at the three Slytherins and then shooting pleading looks to his friends. Potter however looked around unphased and if anything slightly amused. Then he took a step forward to Draco looking directly at him.

“What do you say Malfoy? Could you work with me? I know it’s a big ask, I’m shit at potions but I want to do well and I genuinely think I have a good idea. I have no clue how to go about it but I reckon you’re the best person to ask and I promise to let you lead and do what you say.” He said sincerely. 

This was unexpected and really he would rather have more time to think about it. He knew he could never work with Granger or Weasley and to be honest he wasn’t even sure if he could work with Daphne. Potions work was precise and you have to communicate and trust your partner. He knew him and Blaise would work well together but that was selfish. Blaise and Daphne could work well together too and Granger and Weasley would work too even if it just meant that Granger would do all the work. Thinking about it this really was the best solution for the six of them. He had to admit he was curious about Potter’s idea as he didn’t have one himself yet. Somehow he believed Potter when he said he would let Draco take the lead and that would work well for him. He wasn’t sure if Blaise would let him have as much control over the project as he would want to. 

There was a slight awkward silence as everyone looked at him nervously waiting for his decision. The more he thought about it though the more he thought he could work with Potter. Trust and communication. Wasn’t that exactly what they were working on every night up on the Astronomy tower?

Blaise was looking concerned but before he could talk himself out of it Draco took a step forward.

“Alright Potter, you’re on but you’d better listen to me and you’d better work hard. I’m warning you, I’m not failing this class.” He said seriously.

“I know Malfoy, I won’t let you down I swear.” 

“Harry, you can’t seriously-” Weasley began.

“Well what do you suggest Ron? You want to work with him? I’d happily work with Hermione.” Potter cut across him in a bit of a cross voice, it shut the weasel up anyway.

The others were all looking shocked and worried at the same time but Potter and Draco ignored them as they walked to take the bench at the back of the class. Blaise and Daphne took the bench in the middle, Daphne looking very relieved, and Granger and Weasley were left with the bench at the front. Weasley was still throwing them the odd glance. He looked a mixture between cross and relieved.

Professor Rosier, who had clearly been watching the whole thing, now had the corner of her mouth turned up in faint amusement as she spoke again.

“Excellent, these will be your partners for the year so I hope you have chosen well as you are going to have to spend lots of your own time researching together for this project too. Quills, books and parchment out everyone. Start planning and I will be round in twenty minutes or so.” 

“Alright then Potter, what’s your bright idea?” He said after they had taken their seats. 

Potter was starting to look a bit nervous now and was running his hand through his hair again. Draco sighed. “Please tell me you actually have one?” He asked in frustration.

“I do!” Said Potter quickly. “I’m just not sure about it... I don’t know anything about potions, it might be a dumb idea, it might not work…”

“Well just spit it out will you and I’ll tell you if it’s a dumb idea or not.” Draco said but his tone was slightly gentler this time.

“Right. Ok.” Potter took a deep breath. “Well I was thinking of the nightmares, you know? I know dreamless sleep exists but it’s highly addictive right? You ever tried it?” He asked.

“Once.” Draco said, thinking.

“Yeh, well same. I figured you must feel the same way as you clearly don’t take it regularly. When I woke up that time I felt amazing, like I’d slept for a week, I was on such a high but it almost scared me. I thought I could easily take that every night but then it almost worked too well if you know what I mean? I don’t want to rely on that. Once I got over feeling completely restful I was almost numb when I woke up. If I took that every night I think I’d never really feel anything again, almost like I’d never be my true self. Plus it’s really expensive right?”

Draco nodded still thinking. If Potter was going where he thought with this then it could actually lead somewhere interesting.

“And I know there is a basic sleeping draught, but that’s only temporary and it’s not perfect either. It’s instant which is a bit impractical, like you have to get comfy first I guess and it knocks you out for like an hour or two but the effects are really short term. It also doesn’t say anything about preventing dreams. I almost feels like there should be something in the middle of the two, you know? Something which can keep the nightmares away and allow you to sleep for the whole night but not too long and could still provide a natural sleep, not completely knock you out. It should be strong enough to rely on but not strong enough so that it has negative side effects. You with me? What do you reckon?” 

Potter was looking at him nervously and Draco was listing all the ingredients of the two in his head and already thinking of how to combine them.

“You know Potter…” Draco started, still thinking. “That is actually a really good idea. This could work.”

“Really?!” Potter said and his face cracked a relieved smile.”Great, cos I was thinking, we’re the perfect test subjects for it really and if we could get it to work then it might really help people you know? There’s probably loads of people who suffer with… erm what did Hermione call it… P.S.T.D or something…”

“Are you talking about post-traumatic stress disorder Potter?” Draco asked, amused by his ramblings.

“Yeh! That! I guess St. Mungos use dreamless sleep a lot right? But then they won’t want patients to get addicted to it. If we could make something that was better to be taken long term, people could take it every night and get the sleep they need without having to worry.” 

Potter said excitedly but Draco was only half listening. He was already writing out the initial notes for their new project. He was actually pretty excited about this. He always worked best when he had something to focus on and he surprisingly found himself pleased at the prospect of spending more time with Potter on this. 

“Right, well I’ll be making the notes Potter, no offence but your handwriting really is atrocious.” He pointed out.

“Yeh, that’s fair.” Potter shrugged. “I’ll give you that one Malfoy. What can I do?”

Draco directed Potter to read out the notes from the existing two potions in their book whilst he made notes on them already thinking of possible substitutes for ingredients and alterations to the method. He found that the once irritating voice of Potter now soothed him and he subconsciously wondered what that was about as he wrote in his elegant style. He could feel Professor Rosier’s eyes on him and once the twenty minutes was up she came to them first. Draco couldn’t help but think they’d made more progress than the rest of their classmates. 

“Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter” She said as she reached their bench. “You make the most intriguing pair.” She said with a faint smile. 

Draco couldn’t blame her. It was rather ridiculous really to think of the two of them working together and he imagined it’s what everyone would think, but somehow he had already made his peace with it and realised that it worked. As he explained Potter’s idea, in a much more concise and coherent way than he had done, the professor seemed genuinely impressed with their idea though and the notes they’d made so far.

“Yes… I think this could work.” She said slowly after a moment’s thought. “Potentially something that numbs the function of the cortex to stop dreams but doesn’t affect the rest of the brain so that the drinker can still achieve the natural sleep-wake cycle. Hmm… It will be very difficult gentlemen. It will take months of hard work and it is potentially very dangerous. You are messing with the mind here and if brewed incorrectly it could put the drinker to sleep permanently or cause permanent brain damage. I am forbidding you to work on this potion practically without my direct supervision in any way do you understand? You can only do theory and research outside of this classroom.” She looked at them sternly and took a dramatic pause to let her words sink in and they both agreed. Then she continued.

“However, if you manage to achieve this, it is likely that you would both receive an outstanding N.E.W.T level potions qualification. Not to mention the real life implications this could have. St. Mungos will surely be interested. I will make some enquiries on your behalf, I may know of a mind healer there that could assist you in your research. I have to say that I am very interested in this and I shall be keenly following your progress. If you ever need my assistance I shall be happy to provide it. For this lesson, I’d like you to start by making me a basic sleeping draught so I can check your brewing skills. Make your own notes on it as you go for any ideas for alterations. It should be fairly easy for you to brew and I expect it to be perfect. If it’s not then this project may be too ambitious for you. We shall see. I will give you one hour from now.”

  
  


They were working in a practical way long before anyone else was. Most of the other pairs spend much longer trying to come up with a plan and talking through their ideas with their teacher. Draco couldn’t help but feel very smug when Professor Rosier told Granger that her idea needed rethinking and asked Weasley what exactly he was bringing to their project. Granger was looking at them enviously as they started their brewing. Yes, he was very pleased indeed that Potter had partnered with him instead of her. He fully intended to  _ finally _ be top of the class this year. 

Anthony and his partner were the second pair to start practical work closely followed by Blaise and Daphne. Then finally Granger and Weasley’s idea was given approval but Bones and Macmillan seemed to still be struggling. It was only when Draco and Potter’s sleeping draught was nearly finished did the fourth pair gain approval for their idea but by then it was too late for them to start working on anything practical so their task was just to do some initial research.

When the hour was up they had a single vial of perfect deep purple liquid that had a distinct lavender smell with just a hint of valerian, very floral and relaxing. Professor Rosier had been pleased with it and commented on how “complementary” their working relationship was. She told them that next lesson they could get straight on with brewing a perfect dreaming sleep potion too. Their homework was to write a two foot long essay on each potion listing their properties, how they were made, what the effects were and what possible side effects they could have. It was a lot! The professor assured them they would only be able to start their project if she could be assured they knew the ins and outs of the two base potions they were using first before they started altering them. It made sense really. At least, seeing as they were finished before anyone else they could get started on their homework now during the end of class time.

Draco had been pleased with how Potter worked. True he lacked the natural instincts of a great potion maker but he followed instructions very well and Draco could tell that he was really trying hard. He seemed to really want to impress, whether it was for Draco’s benefit or if he simply wanted to please the new teacher he wasn’t sure but as long as he was willing to work hard that’s all that mattered. He was beginning to think maybe Severus had been a bit too harsh on Potter for all those years, Potter can’t be a complete imbecile if he passed his potions O.W.L and he seemed to do very well in Slughorn's class in sixth year. Although there had been something a bit odd about that. 

Draco almost found himself disappointed when Potter immediately returned to Granger and Weasley after class and walked with them to lunch instead of him, but really what did he expect? He was getting carried away, they weren’t  _ friends _ they were potions partners, nothing more. But then did people who weren’t friends spend most of the night getting to know each other and sharing their darkest experiences, their innermost thoughts and feelings? It was a deal, Draco reminded himself. Potter was just helping him make sense of the war and move on. After the year was over they’d go their separate ways. But Potter did genuinely want to help Draco process everything, he seemed committed to helping him heal and wasn’t this potions project even partly motivated by the fact that he couldn’t sleep for fear of nightmares. Of course that was true for Potter himself too so maybe it was just self-serving. Except that Potter seemed like the least selfish man Draco had ever met. 

After lunch they had a free period so Draco had found Potter and insisted they get straight back to work on their potions essays. Potter had seemed a bit reluctant at first and Weasley had told Draco to “shove off and leave Harry alone” but if anything this seemed to convince Potter in Draco’s favour and not the other way round. Potter had then followed Draco to a table in the common room and they got back to work. Weasley could still be heard to be complaining about it but Granger suggested they go for a walk and that seemed to cheer Weasley up. Draco was just glad to be rid of them for a bit.

Blaise and Daphne were working on their potions work too although their idea was still a little sketchy so they had been told to properly think it through and have a solid plan in place for the next lesson. They asked Draco if he could help and explained that they were aiming to create a confidence potion inspired by Felix Felicis but it didn’t actually ‘produce luck’ it just enhanced the drinkers confidence to think that they might be able to achieve something they otherwise might not have been able to. Draco, however, as it turned out wasn’t the one who provided the help. 

Potter had heard this and joined in the discussion. He told Blaise and Daphne about the time he’d tricked Weasley into thinking that he’d poured liquid luck into his drink before a quidditch match. He hadn’t of course but because the keeper  _ thought _ he’d taken some it increased his confidence such that he performed really well. Blaise got really excited about this and said that’s exactly the effect they were looking for. Potter also explained to them how he felt when he actually took some although he didn’t say what he actually took it for and Draco made a mental note to ask him some time. Blaise and Daphne thanked Potter and Potter said he was really glad to have helped. 

That was the first time that Potter had joined in with Draco’s little trio and it seemed natural and effortless. Draco found that he liked it and hoped it would happen more. Daphne, who wasn’t taking transfiguration, stayed in the common room at the end of the hour but Potter walked to class with Draco and Blaise. Draco had distinctly heard mutterings in the corridor asking “what’s Harry Potter doing with  _ them _ ” and he was sure Potter could hear them too but he really didn’t seem bothered by them so Draco tried not to be either.

Their first transfiguration lesson was easy and Draco found himself a bit bored by it, his mind wandering to his favourite subject, ‘Harry bloody Potter’. Professor Delacour was obviously nervous but she was competent enough and Professor McGonagall was there too offering her support. All they were doing was non-verbally transfiguring a chess set to a dinner setting one piece at a time. As Draco effortlessly transformed the black queen into an elegant black goblet he was watching Potter struggle to change his white king into anything at all. Finally he saw him mutter the cast under his breath and the piece turned into a simple white dinner plate. How is it that the man could cast a wandless, non-verbal shield charm but he could so a simple piece of transfiguration? The thought amused him, but then he began to seriously wonder whether he could offer to help Potter with his transfiguration. He pushed the thought from his mind as he saw Granger could easily do this work too and surely Potter would rather have her a tutor.


	19. The Beginning of Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit if a 'filler chapter' I'll admit as I needed to move time on a bit but I hope it is still enjoyable.  
> I hope it's not too much to read and digest everything. I did struggle a bit with this one :S   
> Forgive me! I promise the next one will be a bit more exciting.

Once the school term had properly started and Draco had gotten into a bit of a routine, the rest of September went by in a flash. Schoolwork was going well. The workload was huge already and Draco was now working solidly in every free period and for at least two hours every evening. He didn’t mind that, it kept his mind busy and he wasn’t dwelling on his negative thoughts too much. The seventh year common room had actually become a rather pleasant place to work too. The students were pretty well integrated now and although they still kept the old house friendships, some new friendships had definitely formed. Mostly anyone was happy to sit alongside anyone else to work. 

Tony could probably be considered a friend now. That became clear to Draco after a particularly bad nightmare he had where he woke up screaming. The boys from the next dorm along all came rushing into the room but Draco had still been hiding behind his curtains. Tony had got up straight away and told the others that he was sorry, it had been him screaming. He said he’d had a bad dream and they should all just go to bed. After they had left Draco had muttered a thanks and Potter had silently got him a glass of water. The three boys realised soon enough that they did in fact all have nightmares but it was an unwritten rule that they didn’t talk about it. 

It took Draco a while to trust Tony. He was wary of him for about a week after that night. Every time Tony could be seen laughing with the others Draco thought he’d spilled the beans and they were laughing about him, but they never were. Eventually Draco realised that Tony would never tell anyone and he did find himself admitting to Blaise and Daphne one day how much he liked the ex-ravenclaw. Tony now spent most of his time with Draco, Blaise and Daphne and the group had pretty much become four instead of three, it was nice. He was mostly quiet and studious so he fitted in well but he did have a bit of a Slytherin sense of humour, turned out he was quite cunning and resourceful which Daphne seemed to like. 

In fact Draco couldn’t help but notice Tony spent more time in particular with Daphne and thought it was that which largely contributed to Daphne’s happy moods of late. Daphne’s life had become a little easier now. Although the clique of ex-Hufflepuff and ex-Ravenclaw girls still mostly ignored her they weren’t unkind and would occasionally ask her about schoolwork or something else mundane like passing the potatoes just to keep the peace. Apparently Granger had finally admitted to Daphne that she found the other girls quite annoying actually so she had started to talk to Daphne more in the dorms.

Longbottom and Macmillan would happily talk to anyone about anything. Draco liked them when he was in a good mood but sometimes found them a bit too loud for his taste. However, he had actually got into quite a long chat with Longbottom about Herbology one day and Draco was surprised to find him very knowledgeable. He even helped Draco with his essay on the proper care of Sneezewort plants. Thomas was still refusing to sit near Draco and would shoot him dirty looks but this seemed to be something personal about him and not just a ‘Slytherin’ thing as apparently he had started to talk to Blaise when Draco wasn’t around so that was progress. Mostly they talked about quidditch. Although Draco didn’t think Blaise actually liked Thomas and he could help but wonder if Blaise was only being nice to the Gryffindor in order to help ease Thomas’ dislike of Draco. 

Blaise was also getting quite a lot of attention from the girls who seemed to realise that their dating options were a bit more limited now and Blaise was certainly one of the most good looking guys around. Blaise pretended not to care and was so far refusing their advances but Draco knew he secretly liked the attention even if he wasn’t interested in settling down at the moment. No would seem to be interested in dating Draco, of course, who would want a Death Eater as a boyfriend? But this didn’t bother Draco, he definitely wasn’t looking for romance this year. It seemed like everyone else was though. This was probably prompted by Macmillan and Bones going official about their relationship. Relationships were becoming a much talked about subject now and Draco didn’t really care too much for the gossip but he supposed it was only natural. Dating hadn’t exactly been top of anyone’s priority list last year and it seemed like despite the school work piling up, people were trying to make up for lost time. 

During the week the common room was a pretty studious place but Friday and Saturday nights were a bit different. The pub trips were still a common thing and Draco, Blaise and Daphne had actually started getting invitations now, despite Weasleys’s protests. Draco didn’t want to admit to the whole group he couldn’t go so he made his excuses to stay and Blaise and Daphne (and more recently Tony) loyally stayed with him. One Friday however, Longbottom had suggested a bit of a night in, mostly because he wanted to include his girlfriend Luna who didn’t have the same privileges as them being a sixth year. Thomas had rather encouraged this and had even snuck in some butterbeer for them all, but his motivations to include the Weasley girl had been obvious.

Now it seemed like the Weaslette and Luna could get into their common room too, although they didn’t abuse this and weren’t around a lot during the week. Draco didn’t mind Luna coming in, in fact she was always really nice to him. She didn’t talk a lot but she had a knack for saying the right things at the right time and there was something truly profound about some of the things she said which Draco appreciated. Of course some of it was just nonsense about wrackspurts and nargles which once would have annoyed Draco but now just made him smile.

He was a bit annoyed about having another redhead in his life but the female Weasley didn’t cause any trouble for him. Once or twice at the beginning he would see her in deep discussions with Potter, one day he even saw them hug. The sight had stirred something inside him, it was odd. He found himself really hoping they weren’t getting back together and he wasn’t sure why that was. Probably because he thought him and Potter were on their way to becoming friends and he didn’t want to have to put up with her if she was around more. Yes, that must be it. However, the next time he saw her in the common room she seemed to be pretty close to Thomas so maybe Potter had just been getting some final closure with his ex. That was good, thought Draco, even though he had no idea why he cared so much.

Even the male Weasley mostly seemed to be in a better mood these days. He didn’t seem to mind his sister and Thomas being close. Him and Granger could often be seen with them as well as Luna and Longbottom. In fact the six of them often went out together leaving out Potter. Sometimes Draco could see Potter on his own again looking lost and broken and it unsettled him. However other times Potter could be seen laughing and joining in with all his old Gryffindor friends like old times. It was odd. Potter was also spending more time with Draco, Blaise, Daphne and Tony in a group too, often sitting at the table doing their homework together. The potions project was coming on well, it was all still research and guess work at this stage but it was enjoyable. 

Defence Against the Dark Arts was also a good class, they were mostly still demonstrating what they knew to Professor Weasley working on target dummies or random pairs. More often than not Draco would work with Blaise and Daphne would work with Tony but sometimes they would swap. Draco didn’t really find the duels that interesting though, he knew Blaise too well and could always predict his next move. He also found Tony’s style to be too similar to his own so they didn’t really work well together and Daphne just didn’t challenge him enough. He couldn’t help but wonder who Professor Weasley would eventually pair him up with and he found himself secretly hoping it would be Potter. He would often sneak glances at what Potter was doing with Weasley or Granger and he found himself mesmerised by the way he moved and the power he had. 

All in all, the first term was off to a good start. The introvert he’d become didn’t like being surrounded by people all day and he still couldn’t let his guard down fully with others. It was pretty much fine for him to do that when it was just him, Blaise and Daphne in the common room but those times were rare and there were still things they didn’t really know about him. Walking around the castle between classes and at the weekends were the worst. The school was big and there were so many directions that people could come from that he always felt vulnerable. Even though no one else had actually attacked him people still said things and occasionally he would see someone draw their wand and then think better of it or put it away because a teacher came. He never used any bathroom except for the one in the seventh year common room now even if it meant he had to walk all the way back up there and would occasionally be late to class because of it. 

Oddly enough, the only time of day where he felt like he could truly relax and let his guard down was during his night time visits to the Astronomy tower despite the fact that he was accompanied by the one person he thought he could never ever do that with. It still confused him but he was forced to admit that he never actually knew Potter before so armed with that knowledge it was easy to let the old school boy rivalry go. The old Potter he hated was gone and  _ this  _ Potter was someone he actually liked. It was simple as that. After all, Draco really was a different person now too, when he looked back on the person he’d been before sixth year he barely recognised himself and he kind of hated the old version of himself now too so it was easy to see why Potter had. Although he still couldn’t understand why Potter seemed to like him now. 

They never openly discussed or planned it but they’d just fallen into a natural routine. Draco would still have his early pre-bed shower and get dressed in his pyjamas in the security of the locked shower cubicle. Then he could come to bed, draw the curtains and wait. Sometimes he would just enjoy the quiet time to think about the day or plan what he was going to ask Potter that night, or sometimes he would read in bed, sometimes, if he was really tired, he would get an hour’s sleep in then if he could. A little while after Draco went to bed, Potter and Tony would come in, sometimes separately, sometimes together and Draco could hear them moving around and getting ready for bed. Tony would never usually shower in the evening, Draco thought he did every morning but he was usually up too early to tell what his roommates did before breakfast. Potter was very hit and miss, sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. Draco liked it when he did though as the soothing scent of sandalwood would always come back in with him. 

After an hour or two when Draco could tell Tony was asleep he’d get up and walk himself to the Astronomy Tower usually around midnight. He was always there first but he was happy to wait. He liked looking up at the stars in the night sky, it made him feel peaceful and he knew that Potter would always come. They would talk for about two hours usually and then walk back to the dorm together. After that Draco would usually have a lot more to think about but then he’d usually fall asleep about 3am and wake up about 6am. Three hours a night was still not a lot but Draco was used to the lack of sleep by now and he didn’t mind. He liked routine. There were still the nights where he woke around 4 or 5 with a nightmare and then he wouldn’t get back to sleep but as long as he always had his morning coffee he was fine. 

There was still a lot he didn’t understand but he was beginning to. The broken jigsaw puzzle in his head had been slowly putting itself back together again piece by piece, largely because Potter was giving him the pieces he was missing. He’d asked Potter the question about when he had taken Felix Felicis and the answer he’d received predictably gave him about ten more questions. That was a bit of a regular theme now. It led to a very long discussion about horcruxes which had happened over many, many nights. A month ago Draco had never heard about such a thing. Now he knew far too much than he’d ever hoped to know about them and rather hoped he’d never heard the word again. 

Potter had been slowly filling him in night by night about all the horcruxes Riddle made and why each one was significant. Draco was amazed at how much Potter knew about the man he’d vanquished. It made sense I guess to learn everything you could about your mission but still. Potter seemed to have really understood him. It was disturbing to say the least and the conversations hadn’t been easy. Every time Potter talked about the evil wizard Draco would get his own painful flashbacks, which had definitely not helped with his nightmare during the limited time he  _ did _ spend in his bed. However, Draco did understand more now and he had to admit that understanding it all in some way was helping him with his healing. 

Then the stories started to come about how they had found and destroyed all the horcruxes and Draco was taken through all of the Golden Trio’s adventures whilst out on the run. If it hadn’t been a true, and horrible, story of war it would have made a good book! He couldn’t believe the stuff they had got up to, I mean escaping out of Gringotts on a dragon?! Seriously?! Also, Potter hadn’t been lying about the number of times he had nearly died. To think that Potter had been so close to being caught at Godric’s Hollow by Riddle himself made Draco shudder. 

The stories Potter told him gave Draco a new found respect for Granger and Weasley too. He felt like he’d finally been let in behind closed doors of Potter’s relationship with his two best friends. It was a privilege to really understand what they went through together. Potter also shared with him the troubles they’d had recently. Draco knew there had been something going on. Potter said they would always be his family, they’d been through so much and all saved each other's lives more than once, that type of bond would never fade, but they had also all grown up and coped with the after effects in different ways. Everyone had changed somehow, Potter and Draco talking about such things together was an example of that. 

Most of the tension had come from Potter’s relationship with the Weasley girl. It seemed like Weasley wanted his best friend and his sister to be together and couldn’t understand why they couldn’t make it work. Now thought he seemed to have finally accepted it. Potter and his ex-girlfriend had found closure and could be friends again now which had helped heal Potter’s relationship with Weasley. Granger had been caught in the middle of everyone so she was relieved it was all over now. Apparently Weasley’s anger hadn’t helped the situation either. He was notoriously hot-headed but Potter said it had gotten worse since the death of his brother and one moment he would seem fine but the next he would be flying off the handle at every tiny thing. It hadn’t been easy for the three of them but they would always be ok. 

Potter had also said that sometimes he felt like despite everything they’d been through together Granger and Weasley still didn’t understand him all the time. One night he’d made the confession that Draco had been waiting for him to say having seen it himself so many times. Potter said that often he looked at them and felt very much alone. It was partly to do with Granger and Weasley being a couple but Potter said that no one truly knew what it was like to really face Riddle, not one-to-one as he had done. Weasley and Granger would get offended when Potter told them they didn’t understand because according to them the three of them had done it together. They said they knew Potter better than anyone but really, when it came down to it Potter had still done the last thing on his own. That was the way it had to be, with the prophecy. 

Draco could understand that, he really could, but he still felt like despite everything Potter had shared with them there was something he wasn’t saying. Something big. Something to do with that final night. Something to do with how Draco’s mother had saved him in the forest and Hagrid had walked back to the castle carrying a ‘dead’ Potter in his arms. Draco still didn’t understand all of that but he didn’t want to push Potter. He felt confident that Potter would tell him in his own time, after all, they had time.

Draco found himself sharing his own fair share of horror stories answering all of Potter’s questions as openly and as honestly as he could which was still something new to him but he knew by now that Potter was genuine and wasn’t telling any of this to anyone else. What they had up here on the Astronomy tower was something sacred, something special, so he talked. He talked about his life at the Manor when Riddle and his followers had been there. What he’d witnessed, what he’d seen, what Riddle had made him do. With difficulty he’d shared the times when Riddle had made him torture someone knowing that it was torture to Draco too so twice the fun for the evil psychopath. 

Potter had just listened. His reaction was exactly what Draco had wanted. He didn’t overreact or make a big deal out of anything as some would have done, he didn’t explain to Draco that it wasn’t his fault until he was blue in the face like others. He listened and he understood and that was enough. It was perfect actually and Draco found the more he shared the better he felt. Potter had wanted to know what it was like here at Hogwarts too the year he had been gone so Draco had filled him in on everything that had happened the year the Carrows rained. 

Letters were exchanged between him and his mother on a weekly basis now, the process took slightly longer as the letters still had to go through McGonagall or Leo but it was nice to hear from her. The letters he received were of course quite formal and lacked any real detail about her solitary life at the Manor. She kept insisting that she was fine but her letters were short as there didn’t really seem much going on in her life for her to update him on. She said she liked reading all of Draco’s stories from school though so he made sure his letters were long enough for her to spend more time reading. He didn’t include any of the negative things of course he mostly just told her what they’d been learning at school, she seemed particularly interested in his transfiguration lessons.

Draco was still worried about his mother though so he ended up writing to Leo too hoping the man would be honest with him about his mother’s life at the Manor. Also, it was actually nice to hear from Leo. Draco had always been somewhat lonely as an only child and he was beginning to regard Leo as a sort of older brother. Even though the thought was preposterous he found himself hoping against all odds that they would stay in touch even after the Malfoys probation was over.

On Friday 1st October he was reading Leo’s reply sitting on the common room sofas with Blaise, Daphne, Tony and Potter. It was one of those rare times where the five of them were alone in the common room as everyone else had gone to the pub. Potter didn’t go as apparently he had an early start tomorrow but Draco didn’t know why. 

He must have been frowning as he read the letter, or perhaps his sigh was audible as Blaise asked him what was wrong and Potter looked up in concern. 

“It’s my mother.” Draco said honestly even though he hardly talked about his private life even when it was just him and Blaise let alone with these other ‘sort-of-friends’. 

“Is she lonely?” asked Blaise.

Draco was about to answer when he realised that Tony didn’t know about his probation or his mother’s house arrest. Daphne could obviously sense his reservation as she followed his gaze to Tony but then she looked back at Draco with encouraging kindness. 

“Draco, Tony won’t say anything.” She said quietly. “I know you find it hard to trust, we all do, but he’s trustworthy I think you know that.” She had given Tony a quick flash of her dazzling smile then and he had returned it with a soft grateful look.

Draco knew that Daphne found it hard to trust too; it was a Slytherin thing, but if she could trust Tony then perhaps he could do. He already knew a few things after all.

Draco turned to Blaise in a silent question and Blaise gave a nod of approval so he decided it wouldn’t hurt to fill Tony in.

“You must have heard that my father is in Azkaban, it’s hardly a secret. It’s only for twelve months though despite what The Prophet seemed to suggest. Anyway my mother, mercifully, is safe at home but she is wandless under house arrest. She has an auror there with her, he’s nice actually but she doesn’t see anyone else. While we’re here you should probably know that I’m on probation too. One year also, I can’t leave the school grounds, that's why we don’t go to the pub.” Draco said quietly.

Tony didn’t make a big deal out of this news or about the fact that Draco had confided in him. On some level he probably already knew or suspected anyway but he was hardly a dramatic person. He was quite mellow really, which is probably why he got on so well with them all. He just shrugged and nodded his head in acceptance.

“Is your mum allowed visitors?” Tony asked casually.

“Yes she is as long as they are planned visits and approved by Leo but there is no one that would visit. She doesn’t have any friends or family anymore.”

“We could come sometime over Christmas if you wanted, if we’re allowed. I’d like to see the Manor again. I haven't been there in years, the rooms you said you’ve redecorated sound lovely and the gardens!” Daphne said excitedly.

Draco thought about this. It would be nice to have his friends over sometime and Mother would probably like to have people in the house again. He had known Theo, Vince, Goyle and Pansy before Hogwarts and they had often come to the Manor when they were kids. Then when Blaise and Daphne joined their gang he’d had them all over for a week in the summer holidays after first, second and third year. Everything had changed the summer after fourth year though when his Father had resumed his Death Eater duties.

“We could potentially sort something out.” He said cautiously. He didn’t like to say then that he wasn’t ready to show Tony his home and Potter definitely wouldn’t be coming but Blaise and Daphne could, if they were allowed.

Potter had been quiet for this discussion but he looked like he had something he wanted to say but wasn’t she how to say it. He was looking around nervously.

“Spit it out Potter!” Draco said, mimicking his old tone but with a genuine smile.

“Huh?” came the typical incoherent Potter reply.

“Very eloquent Potter as always.” Draco teased. “You obviously have something you would like to say and I’m giving you permission to do so.”

“Right… well…” Potter said slowly looking around at the others carefully before taking a deep breath. “It’s just that when you said before about your mother not having any family left, that’s not strictly true. I know it’s  _ complicated _ and it’s really none of my business but… well I saw quite a lot of Andromeda over the summer, cos of Teddy you know, and well… she’s lonely too. She lost her husband, her daughter and her son-in-law. I think she might like to reconnect with the only other family members she has left. They could be good for each other you know? Maybe… but like I said it’s none of my business and I don’t really know what went on between them so…I dunno, maybe forget I said anything.” Potter was rambling and nervously playing with his hair again which always made Draco smile for some reason. 

That distracted him but then he thought about what Potter actually said and he was confused, something else he didn’t know?

“You... you know my Aunt?”

“Well yeh, through the Order firstly they helped get me away… you know from my Aunt

and Uncle’s house. Their daughter, your cousin, was an auror and with the Order, you must know that and she married…” Potter took another breath and Draco thought this was another thing that was painful to say. “She married Remus and they had Teddy. They named me Godfather, before they… you know. So yeah, I spent quite a bit of the summer with ‘Dromeda and Teddy and I’m seeing them tomorrow. That’s where I’m going first thing, I didn’t want to be hungover.”

“Oh, right, of course. I did know that there had been a wedding actually and there was  _ something _ about- about a baby…” He shuddered as a cold familiar voice entered his head  _ ‘What say you Draco, will you babysit the cubs?’  _ He blocked the voice from his head and carried on calmly. “I just never put it all together before. Never realised that you would know them but of course you would. So you’re the Godfather of my cousin’s son?”

“Yeah…” Potter said awkwardly, he hesitated before adding quietly. “I wanna do right by him, you know? I didn’t really have a lot of time with my godfather so… I want to make sure I’m there for him. I know what it’s like to grow up with parents you never knew because they died fighting in a war. All because of  _ Him _ …”

It was quiet for a few seconds. Draco was used to these moments with Potter but it was the first time they’d ever discussed anything to do with the war in front of other people. It was Daphne who spoke first to Draco’s surprise.

“And he’ll grow up knowing that his famous Godfather saved the wizarding world and avenged his parent’s death. He won’t have to grow up in fear of  _ Him _ .” She said smiling kindly at Potter. 

Draco didn’t really know Daphne could be kind to anyone else. Slytherins weren’t really kind unless it suited them to be and usually it was only amongst their own house. Daphne had always been a bit of a bitch when Pansy was around but she was actually quite a nice person underneath. She had changed now too, just like they all had.

Potter seemed to be taken back by Daphne's words too, blinking at her in surprise for a few moments before saying “yeah… thanks.”

Draco knew that he should probably say something in response to all this but he needed time to think. Suddenly Daphne was doing what she did best. Slytherins were cunning after all but cunning didn’t always have to be cruel.

“So what’s Teddy like? Is he cute? How old is he now?” She asked Potter excitedly.

“Oh yeah, he’s so cute you should see him. One time he…” Potter started back to his happy happy manner but Draco stopped listening. Daphne was clearing the atmosphere and giving Draco time to think, he’d never been more grateful to her. 

He knew his Aunt existed but he had kind of forgotten all about her. They’d never even met as she had been disinherited for marrying a muggle before he was born. He’d never met his cousin either and now he never would, that felt weird to Draco. He didn’t even realise that his cousin had died, which made him feel a bit guilty, and Professor Lupin too. They must have been close to Potter to name him as Godfather, Potter would surely miss them then. He’s lost so many people. Everyone had lost someone.

The uncle Draco had never known was dead now too but he had one Aunt left alive. His family had always been so small, his father being an only child. His mother had never talked about her sisters when he was growing up, one being estranged from the family and one being in Azkaban most of Draco’s life. When Aunt Bellatrix and Uncle Rodolphus had been broken out of prison to come to live at the Manor it had hardly been a happy reunion. Now that aunt was dead, thank goodness and his uncle was locked up once more. This time there would be no one to break him out. He, unlike Draco’s father, had shown no remorse and had been given a life sentence.

His grandparents were all dead too by the time he was five so it had really only ever been the three of them growing up. Him, mother and father. His parents often had people round, dinner parties, annual balls and the like but it wasn’t family. It was just about having a social presence in the community and impressing people, all a show. He’d always wanted to have a big loving family, perhaps that’s why he was so jealous of the Weasleys even though he would _never_ admit that to anyone. The fact that he had an Aunt out there was strange but Draco found himself wanting to know her but would she want to know him? That was the real question wasn’t it? And what would his mother think? Hmm, there was lots to think about. 

He made his excuses to the others and went to bed. He needed to be alone. There was so much going on in his head that he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep. He planned to think it through and wait until he could talk to Potter up on the Astronomy tower but when he did lay his head down on his pillow, sleep came more easily to him than he thought. As long as he was awake in an hour or two it would be ok.

Would it be a dreamless sleep? Let’s hope so.


	20. The Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Potter actually Draco's friend? Surely not?  
> Not being enemies was one thing but friendship... that was something else.
> 
> After a month of slowly becoming friends, one long night breaks that final friendship barrier and brings Harry and Draco closer together.  
> They finally talk about this 'deal' they have and how they really feel not being enemies anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring a poor little insecure Draco with serious trust issues.
> 
> *Trigger warning for nightmares and panic attacks

_ “Show us the mark Malfoy” _

_ “Yeh we wanna see it you Death Eater scum” _

_ “We know you have it, if you don’t show it to us we’ll find it ourselves” _

_ They were closing in on him from all sides. The Gryffindors that attacked him in the bathroom were leading the way but they had others with them, more this time. There were too many of them, he was on his own, surrounded. He couldn’t fight them off. _

_ “Protego” _

_ “You think your pathetic shield charm is going to save you Malfoy. We don’t need magic anyway. We could pin you down and rip that shirt off you before you knew it was happening, you scrawny git.” _

_ “Last chance Malfoy, show us or we’ll make you.” _

_ “No. I don’t have it. I don’t have one.” _

_ “Liar” _

_ Three sets of arms grabbed him, they were stronger than him. He wasn’t that tough, he hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten, it was easy for them. Suddenly his shirt was ripped off by two more sets of hands and he was standing there topless, vulnerable. He tried to pin his left forearm to his body, he couldn’t let them see it but they were too strong, too quick. _

_ “There it is. See that wasn’t so hard now was it?” _

_ “Such an ugly thing, no wonder you hide it.” _

_ “There’s our proof anyway, now you can’t deny it. We all knew what you were. The teachers say it’s safe for us here now but how can it be with you walking around? You’re one of them, a Death Eater, there’s the evidence right there.” _

_ “How can they allow you to walk around free amongst us?” _

_ “You don’t belong here.” _

_ “What’s going on here then?” Another voice came into the room. He knew that voice. _

_ Suddenly he was standing in front of him, his saviour. He wouldn’t let them hurt him. He’d saved him already so many times. Saved his life, secured his freedom, his future and now they were friends against all odds. He trusted him, he already knew he had the mark but he was nice to him.  _

_ Harry Potter would save him. _

_ “We got him Harry, he’s got the mark just like you said and now we have proof that he doesn’t belong here!” _

_ Wait what? _

_ “Yeh Harry, we got him for you!” _

_ “Yes, you’ve done very well guys.” Said that voice again. _

_ Those green eyes were looking at him menacingly the emerald fire burning within them, burning with hatred. _

_ “Come on Malfoy, you didn’t seriously think we were friends now did you? Aww isn’t that cute? Why do you think the Gryffindors attacked you? They were only following my orders, Malfoy. McGonagall wanted you back here, not me, she thinks you’ve changed but she doesn’t know you like I do. You’re evil, you always have been and you're incapable of change. You’re rotten to the core just like your family. You disgust me Malfoy.” _

He woke up shaking. His chest was so painfully tight he felt like he couldn’t breathe. But he was breathing because he could hear the breaths louder than he ever heard them. It didn’t feel real though, he couldn’t control them. He felt like the ragged breaths were happening outside of his body. Was that his breathing or was that someone else? He couldn’t be here, he was in danger. They would find him here, he needed to leave. 

Potter had tricked him  _ ‘You disgust me Malfoy’ _ . Those were Potter’s words that played over and over in his head. 

He got to his feet, except he couldn’t feel his feet, was he moving? He knew he was making noise but he didn’t care; he just had to leave. Someone next to him was moving, talking maybe but he was already out of the door and out of the next one. His body knew it had to run, even though he couldn’t feel his legs still they had to be working. He was moving down the corridor except where could he go? He needed to go somewhere where Potter couldn’t find him. 

The Slytherins, he thought quickly. He would be safe there. It was where he belonged, down in the dark. It was a long way down to the dungeons but he could make it there. Someone was coming after him, he could hear it but he could outrun them. He was fast, long legs, sleek seekers build he could do it. He was down two flights of stairs already.

“Malfoy wait”

He wasn’t waiting for anyone. He wasn’t falling for that.

“Malfoy stop, it’s just me”

He couldn’t stop, he couldn’t trust anyone. He ran round the corner too fast and crashed straight into a suit of armour, the noise was deafening as it clunked over onto the floor, bits of metal hitting the hard stone. He ignored it, he couldn’t stop, the crash had slowed him down already.

“Who goes there?! Students out of bed!” Came another voice, this one gruff and cross.

“Shit! Malfoy stop!” Another voice hissed closer to him.

Stop? Should he stop? He was confused now. What was he doing again?

Suddenly a hand grabbed his and he was being pulled. This hand felt nice, it was warm, friendly.

“Quick in here”

He wasn’t controlling where he was going anymore, someone else was and it felt good to hand over control. He gave in and just allowed himself to be led.

“Sit down quick and under this.”

“I know you’re here somewhere. Find Them Mrs. Norris”

He could still hear loud breathing coming from somewhere, was that him?

“Shh, Malfoy, quiet…  _ Muffliato _ … there we should be ok now. Malfoy, look at me just breathe ok, slowly… in and out… in… out, that’s it keep going, deep breaths, in… out…”

He could feel himself coming to his senses, he was huddled on the floor with someone else, they were very close and there was something wrapped around them. It was nice, it felt warm, it felt safe. He was breathing now, he could feel it, in and out, in and out. He was looking into the most beautiful green eyes he’d ever seen… no, wait, he knew those eyes, it couldn’t be, not him.

“Potter!”

“Yes, Malfoy it’s me, you’re ok now. You just had a bad dream but it’s ok, you're safe.”

“No, Not safe.”

“You are, it’s fine. I got you”

“No, you tricked me”

“Malfoy, what are you talking about? I didn’t trick you, it was a dream.”

“No it was you, you set them on me, they did it for you”

“Who Malfoy? Who hurt you? I promise it wasn’t me, you’re safe with me”

“No, it’s all a lie, it’s all a trick, I need to leave.”

“Malfoy stop, you’re having a panic attack. You need to breathe, deep breaths remember. It wasn’t real ok? This is real now with me, you’re safe.”

“No, not safe with you. We’re not friends.”

“We are Malfoy-”

“-NO!” he shouted and Potter stopped. 

“You said I disgusted you.” Draco said quietly in between his ragged breaths.

Potter was quiet for a moment and everything was still.

Then the voice came again, softer than before. 

“Malfoy, it wasn’t me. I swear to you that it wasn’t me.” Potter insisted quietly and then his voice built up again in a more persuasive tone. “I’d never say that, not now anyway. That’s not what I think, look at me.”

But Draco couldn’t. He could feel himself getting worked up again but he had found himself with the one person he’d been escaping. He couldn’t look, he tried to move but he couldn't. Potter was too close and there was something over him, he was trapped. He tried to push himself up but his body didn’t feel like his own.

“Malfoy stop!... Malfoy!... Malfoy look at me! DRACO!”

Draco?! That name… that wasn’t what Potter called him. Potter had shouted his name urgently, but not in a cross way, in a scared way, pleading... It was too much, surprising, confusing, he stopped fighting. He just gave in and crumbled in a heap on the floor. 

Then he cried.

He sobbed and sobbed, he couldn’t stop now that he’d started.

He felt two arms wrap around him. Potters arms, they were strong but soft at the same time. He could smell those woody tones he now associated with potter. It was soothing, the sandalwood filled his nostrils as he breathed and slowly he calmed down. He found himself raising his arms and wrapping back around Potter. Too tired to even think about what he was doing, he just had to trust this. This felt right.

“Shh, Draco it’s ok. I got you.” Came Potter’s soothing warm voice and his strong manly hand was rubbing small circles on Draco's back. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched him like this and he relaxed into it. 

“Everything’s fine. It was a dream ok? A bad dream. It wasn’t me. I’d never hurt you. Shh, just breathe.”

And Draco did. He breathed and slowly he stopped crying. He let the words wash over him repeating them to himself like a mantra.

“I’d never hurt you Draco.”

They sat there for a while, he didn’t know how long, he didn’t care. He allowed himself to come back. He was still now, breathing normally but he was wet. His face was wet, had he been crying? His body was wet too, his back was sweaty. He felt hot, he was wrapped in… someone. There were arms holding him. Merlin. What had happened. He was sitting on the floor hugging Harry bloody Potter. Suddenly he was too aware of the situation and highly embarrassed. 

He coughed and lowered his arms. “Erm. Potter?”

The other boy lowered his arms too but tentatively and shuffled back a bit. He looked terrified and he was studying Malfoy’s face carefully but he didn’t look embarrassed at all.

“Malfoy, you ok now? You back with me?”

Draco nodded slowly.

“Merlin Malfoy, you scared me. Don’t do that to me again.” Potter was shaking slightly as he ran a nervous hand through his messy black hair.

“Er, I’m sorry... What happened? And where the hell are we?” He said, too tired and confused to form his normally coherent speech.

He was looking around now, he could definitely feel some material over them, it was thick, warm but he couldn’t see it, all he could see was the inside of a small dusty old classroom that looked like it hadn’t been used in years.

“Right, yeh sorry, probably don't need this anymore.” 

Potter said grabbing the thin air in front of them and pulling the material off them. Draco could feel it slipping off his back and shoulders and the air felt lighter already. He was breathing normally now.

“Your cloak” Draco said in awe and he could see the material now in Potter’s lap.

“Yeh, had to hide from Filch in case he came in here. We should be alright now, let me just check, two secs.”

We got a thick piece of blank parchment out of his pocket, it looked really old.

“I solemnly swear I am up to no good” He said unfolding it and tapping it with his wand.

Suddenly ink started appearing on the pages in all sorts of places, flowing over the parchment joining up to form…

“A map” Draco said out loud, staring at it in wonder.

“Yeh, it shows Hogwarts and everyone in it. There’s Filch, look. It’s alright, he’s back in bed now. And Mrs. Norris is all the way over there. We’ll be alright here I reckon but I’ll keep an eye on just in case.”

“Merlin’s beard Potter. An invisibility cloak is one thing but that map…” Draco trailed off thinking. “Actually... suddenly everything makes a lot more sense you know!”

“Yeh.. I know. Sorry.” Potter said sheepishly, he paused a bit awkwardly for a moment. “So, erm, you wanna talk about it?”

For a minute Draco didn’t know what Potter meant he’d been so distracted by the map and the cloak but then there was a reason why they were here wasn’t there? Salazar… What had he done? He'd made a fool out of himself.

He groaned audibly. “I don’t even know… what happened? What did I do?”

Potter gulped and he looked a bit scared again.

Draco sighed. “Just tell me...please.” He said defeated. 

“Erm, well it was pretty bad Dr-, er, Malfoy.” Potter stammered.

Malfoy noticed the correction, that was weird, and then he had this vague memory of Potter saying his name.  _ ‘Draco’  _ and the way he’d said it… Panicked, like he cared…

“I-I scared you?” He didn’t really know if it was a statement or a question.

“Yeah! Yeah you really did.” Potter replied, letting out a long breath. “You woke up badly, worse than I’ve heard you before. Your breathing was so loud and so all over the place that I thought you might faint but then you shot off of bed, like crazy quickly. You kinda got yourself trapped in the curtains and your feet were stomping... you weren’t exactly quiet. The scariest thing was your eyes though… they were so wide and, well you looked terrified… and you were so pale, even more so than usual I mean!” Potter said with a tiny feeble laugh. 

“I was just going to come over to help calm you down and Tony was getting up too but you took off. You were just gone, I’ve never seen anyone move so fast. I barely had time to grab my stuff and then I came after you but damn you were quick! I don’t know how you could run that fast with your breathing like that, I was sure you’d collapse… you were being quite loud too… you were saying… random words, then you crashed into the suit of armour and it made a right racket. Filch was here in a flash, fortunately you’d slowed down though so I grabbed you and pulled you in here. I got you down on the floor and under the cloak to hide us but your breathing was still so loud, I knew he’d hear us. I cast muffliato and that seemed to do the trick anyway, Filch left.”

Draco swore under his breath. “That’s… That’s bad. I’ve never been that bad before. This has never happened… argh! How loud was I exactly? The others…?” Draco said pleadingly wanting the truth but dreading it at the same time. He felt mortified.

“I could hear a few voices and doors opening as I ran after you. I’m not going to lie I reckon they heard…” Draco groaned loudly but Potter hurried on “but it will be ok honestly, they didn’t see you. You’d long gone, and it was just noise, you didn’t say any actual words then. They won’t know it was you. Tony will sort it, I know he will. I told him quickly as I left to blame me. He’s clever, he’ll convince them. It will all be fine. I’ll tell everyone it was me that had the nightmare and if anyone asks about you then we’ll say you came after me.”

“I-I can’t let you do that.” Draco said quietly.

“You can and you will.” Potter said stubbornly. “They won’t hassle me for it, and it will hardly be the first time. I’m a nutter remember? I collapsed in the middle of an exam in front of the whole year! Besides it’s really not a big deal, just a nightmare, honestly. The Gryffindor guys won’t even question it, they’ve seen me like it before.”

“Well thanks…” Draco muttered. 

“Don’t even worry about it ok?” A tentative hand came onto his shoulder in comfort. 

Potter was comforting him, and Draco could feel the arms from earlier that had wrapped around him. Suddenly he was defensive and he didn’t even know why, he just wasn’t used to this comfort. He shook the hand off his shoulder and recoiled. Potter lowered his hand and he looked… hurt, worried. 

“Why do you even care?” Draco said, scowling. “You don’t even like me. Why are you bothering?!” The words came out of his mouth harshly like he was spitting them out.

“Because I DO ok?!” Potter exclaimed. “I care because you’re my friend... or at least I thought you were...” 

The last part came out so quietly that Draco almost missed it. Potter looked sad again and Draco never wanted to be the one to make Potter sad, was it real? Could he trust it? Did he really want to be friends?

“Is that what your dream was about?” Potter asked cautiously. “Me… us… this?”

Draco was nervous. “Wh-what did I say? How much did you hear?”

“Enough.” Potter admitted. “It didn’t all make sense but it… it sounded like you thought I tricked you, like I sent people to  _ attack _ you or something… you said-” Potter swallowed a lump in his throat and was looking at the ground. “You said, you weren’t safe with me… that I was disgusted by you.” He said quietly, almost broken. He looked like he might cry.

Then he looked up at Draco with a fierce look in his eyes. The emerald fire was back, the green fire he’d seen in his dream… but it wasn’t a cross look. Draco wasn’t scared by it, he was mesmerised by it. It was a determined look, a passionate look.

“That’s not true Draco.” 

He’d said his name again, it sounded so good in his voice.  _ ‘Draco’  _ and the way he said the simple statement like it was fact. It was so persuasive that Draco found himself believing it. It’s not true. The Potter from his nightmare was Draco’s own stupid self-doubt. This Potter was the one he knew. The one he’d watched for seven years, the one who had saved his life, the one who had testified for him. The one who he had joked with over breakfast and worked together with in class. The one who he’d spent every night with for the past month talking to, sharing memories with, confiding in,  _ trusting _ . 

“I know.” He found himself saying. “I know it’s not true.” _Harry_ he added but only in his head. 

Potter,  _ Harry _ , breathed a sigh of relief and, almost to Draco’s disappointment, the fire in his eyes settled down. 

“Look,” he said “I don’t know where this has come from, tonight particularly, but I think we need to talk about it. I think it’s important. You don’t have to tell me anything but- but I- I have something to say to you.” 

Draco watched as the other man took another deep breath and steadied himself. “I know you find it hard to trust and I get that, I do. The way you were raised, the Slytherin thing, what happened to you... I understand. I’m not asking you to trust me completely, I just need you to know what this is to me. It started off as me just not hating you, you know that we talked about it. But then when you said all that stuff about not understanding and needing the missing pieces of the puzzle... I thought, yeh OK, I could do that. I thought I could help and I had questions too, it was a good deal. But this last month… getting to know you, the real you, it’s been good and for some reason I do actually like you!” Potter,  _ Harry _ , (what did he call him now?!) let out a small low chuckle before he carried on. Draco just listened, mesmerised. 

“You have a great sense of humour. Your quick wit and the little snide remarks that I used to hate I now find really funny and for a while, before you, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed… Plus you’re really smart, like much more than me. I didn’t even realise how clever you were in that way, you know with school work and stuff. I always knew you were cunning but you could really do something with that brain of yours. And you’re kind-”

Draco’s eyes widened at that in surprise. Was that really how Harry saw him? 

Harry clocked his expression and smiled. “Don’t deny it! The way you are with Daphne, like you’re worried about her and you want her to be ok... I’ve seen it, and what you did with Luna… that was…” Harry (that seemed to be what he was now in Draco’s head) trailed off and sighed slightly like he was struggling to find the words. Draco was speechless at this little appraisal of his character.

“I’ve spoken to her a lot, she thinks very highly of you and she sees things that other people don’t see.” Harry carried on. “I don’t really know why I’m saying all this, I sound like a blubbering idiot as usual… you’re better with words than me! You’re better at a lot of things than me!... but anyway I just wanted you to know. It seems like you  _ need _ to know that this is genuine. I really do just want to be your friend. No ulterior motive, no trick, I can’t be arsed with those games, I don’t have the energy for all that. I just want simple, honest friendship. That’s what I’m offering and…” He looked up straight into Draco’s grey eyes. “I protect my friends, always.”

Here it was. Everything that Draco had been wanting confirmation of. He actually liked him and wanted to be his friend.  _ ‘Yes, yes, please be my friend’  _ said the small voice inside his head. No, he can’t be that pathetic!

“Wow, Potter. I never realised you liked me so much.” He said in a sarcastic tone but unable to keep the growing smile off his face. Reverting back to humour seemed safe and he couldn’t bring himself to say Harry to his face.

“Don’t push it Malfoy!” Potter snapped back playfully with a matching grin on his face. 

He looked much better when he smiled and Draco so wanted to make him smile, but then his smile vanished as if he’d suddenly remembered something.

“There’s just one thing.” He said slowly. 

What? Was this it? Had he changed his mind already? All of Draco’s doubts came flooding back.

“Just one more thing I need to say, before we can... move on. Something I should have said a long time ago, it’s been playing on my mind recently…” He looked too scared to say it.

“What is it?” Draco asked as gently as he could.

Suddenly those green eyes were looking at him again but filling with tears threatening to spill out. “I’m so so sorry.” 

A quiet voice that Draco had never heard from him before, the voice of a desperate little boy.

“What on earth for? You have nothing to apologise to me for. What are you talking about?” Draco asked softly, thinking if he said the wrong thing in the wrong way he could scare this lost little boy in front of him away.

“For… for the bathroom, I- I almost killed you.” said the quiet voice again and his eyes looked straight to Draco’s chest, to his heart.

“Oh that!” Draco almost laughed, he was relieved, he thought it would be something much worse. “Don’t worry about that, I started it. I tried to crucio you for Merlin’s sake, you’re Harry-bloody-Potter of course you’re going to defend yourself!” He said casually as if it didn’t matter. It didn’t really, not to him.

“Don’t! Don’t do that, push it away like it was nothing.” Harry said crossly. “Defending myself would have been a shield charm or a disarm, that was not a defensive spell. I was so stupid, I didn’t know what that spell even did. I’d never even used it before but I just felt this rush of hate and I used it before I could even think, so stupid… when I saw what it did, when I saw you- you… I felt so sick, I couldn’t believe it... you were  _ dying _ Draco, if-if I’d... ki- _ killed _ you… If- If Snape hadn’t…I- I-... it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

He was shaking so much by the end and tears were falling down his face that Draco moved instinctively placing a hand on each of his shoulders. Harry buried his head in his hands and was practically pulling his hair out.

“ _ Harry _ …” His name just felt good forming in his throat and flowing out of his mouth. “Harry, shh. Harry, stop it’s ok. Look at me Harry.” 

Now that he’d started he just couldn’t stop saying his name but it got his attention and Harry looked at Draco once more.

“Listen to me.” Draco said boldly, offering comfort to Harry now in return. “I know Harry, I know how sorry you are. I could see it in your expression the moment you did it. Then you were next to me, looking at me with those damn eyes…” 

He hadn’t meant to say that last bit… Oh well, he’d started now, might as well be honest. He took a deep breath and carried on. 

“I didn’t hate you from that moment you know. When I saw how sorry you were, how scared you were that I might die, I couldn’t hate you anymore. I knew that you were an annoyingly good person, you’ve always been so damn  _ caring,  _ it had just never been directed at me- not that I ever deserved it I know! I do know how horrible I was to you and to your friends. You had every reason to hate me, every reason to curse me. But when I was lying on the floor in that bathroom you didn’t hate me then. You were worried about  _ me _ I could see that. You genuinely didn’t want me to die and the fact that you cared about me even though I didn’t deserve it... well that stayed with me. It was after that night that I truly changed my loyalties in my heart actually. I know I didn’t act on it as soon as I should have done but when I had the opportunity to do something for you I pictured the way you looked at me then, so I’m glad it happened. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Harry had stopped crying now and was still looking at Draco with a whole range of emotions flickering through his eyes. For a moment Draco worried he’d said too much but he forced himself to hold Harry’s gaze. They sat like that for a few moments. Then Harry breathed out a long peaceful sigh.

“Wow.” He said simply.

“Yeah” Draco gave a little chuckle as he breathed out too.

“Emotional night huh?” Harry said with a little hint of a smile forming on his lips.

“You could say that.” Draco said nodding and smiling, the tension easing out of him.

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to have a normal conversation?!” Harry asked teasingly.

“Probably not!” Draco said half wondering if it was true!

“So first name basis huh? Big step!” Harry joked. “What’s next?!”

“Shut up you git!” Draco gave him a little playful shove. “I have no problem continuing to call you Potter!”

“Don't.” Harry said quickly. “I like you calling me Harry.” He mumbled shyly

Draco smiled to himself. “Ok Harry, whatever you say.” He said happily.

“I say we go to bed!” Said Harry checking his magic little map once more before tapping it and saying “Mischief managed”. Draco watched it go blank once more before Harry tucked it back into the pocket of his flannel pyjama trousers. 

“Mischief managed?” Draco asked with a raised eyebrow as they got to their feet.

“Yeah… it’s a long story!” said Harry yawning.

“Isn’t everything with you?” Draco said back, opening the door.

“Yep! Pretty much.” Harry agreed as he walked through it.

“Good job we’re friends now then and you can tell me all of them.” Draco pointed out feeling like it was good to finally say out loud that they were in fact friends.

They walked back to the seventh year common room, through the door that appeared in the wall and through to the boys dormitories. Harry put his hand on the next door that led to their room but stopped just before opening it and turned back to Draco.

“Goodnight Draco.” he whispered.

“Goodnight Harry.”


	21. The Dating Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Draco talk about their dating lives... or lack of them maybe!

The next morning Draco woke to someone softly pulling back the curtains of his bed and it seemed lighter than it usually did when he woke up. Out of the three roommates Draco always got up first and would have an early shower before anyone else was even awake. Then, depending on much sleep he’d had and whether he’d had any nightmares or not he would either go for an early morning walk or he’d read in the common room. This morning however was already different. He opened his eyes and saw someone looking down at him in mild concern.

“Blaise?” he said, blinking rapidly, his eyes adjusting to the light.

Blaise drew the curtains of Draco’s bed fully for him and then sat down across from him on Tony’s empty bed. Draco stretched out realising he felt good, really good. Looking around the room he realised his roommates were already gone. 

“What’s going on, what time is it?” He asked Blaise, confused. “Where’s Harry?” He asked before he could stop himself.

“Harry?” Blaise questioned, raising one eyebrow.

“Potter!”

“Yes I’m aware of which Harry you are referring to thank you, I believe he is quite famous. I was merely wondering when he became Harry to you?” His friend said clearly amused.

“Ha ha very funny, just answer my questions .”

“Nothing’s  _ ‘going on’ _ I just came to find you because I was worried about you. I left you sleeping for as long as I could with assurances from Tony that you were fine but you skipped breakfast. It’s nearly lunchtime now, I thought you’d be hungry.  _ Harry _ , as you seem to refer to him now is with his Godson today, remember?”

Oh yes. Draco did remember now. He suddenly felt guilty that he’d kept Harry awake most of the night, mind you they never really got much sleep. He also felt a bit foolish that his first thought had been about Harry and that he’d voiced it allowed to Blaise. Blaise would definitely think there was something up now. Not that anything was of course. They had become friends, Blaise wouldn’t be bothered by that and there was nothing to hide.

“Oh right, yeh I remember. It just threw me because I’m always up first. I never sleep in, very odd for me. Was everything alright at breakfast?” He asked casually, sitting up in bed. 

Blaise paused and was giving Draco a strange look.

“Yes everything was fine at breakfast. There were a few minor references to something that occurred last night but no one seemed very bothered by it to be honest.”

“Oh, what happened last night?” He inquired as if he was feigning interest but not actually bothered.

“I would have thought you’d known about it, Draco, seeing as you were  _ involved _ .” Blaise replied back accusingly.

Typical Slytherin, this was getting them nowhere, thought Draco.

“Ok fine Blaise, come on, I’ll admit to being  _ ‘involved’ _ . I’m trying to find out what everyone else thinks happened, as you well know, so spit it out.” Draco said mildly annoyed. 

He wasn’t worried about Blaise, he was the best friend he had but he still didn’t know everything. It wasn’t that he couldn’t be trusted because he could, at least where Draco was concerned anyway, it was just that Draco was quite a private person.

Blaise was smiling slightly smugly.

“Well it seems that dear little  _ Harry _ had rather a bad nightmare last night and fled the common room in a bit of a panic. Apparently _ you _ went after  _ him _ to calm him down. Tony settled everyone back down and assured us all it was nothing to worry about. Apparently he gets nightmares too and you’ve calmed him down on occasion so he said it  _ ‘wasn’t a big deal.’ _ ” Blaise paused before putting a mock serious face on. “You ought to be careful Draco, you don’t want people to suspect you might be a nice person after all.”

“Yes, yes, very funny. Aren't you in a good mood this morning?” Draco snapped teasingly. 

“I am now.” he said happily until his face turned to a more genuine seriousness. “I was a bit worried about you this morning though.” 

“Worried about me? Come Blaise, we don’t want people to think that you have  _ feelings _ do we?” Draco said smiling but it was softer this time. 

He was actually quite touched that Blaise worried. Even though they had been reasonably close before, they never talked about real feelings and all the other boys had always been around too. Draco never wanted to appear weak in front of them. Now though, he understood what it was like to have a true friend and he liked the times when it was just the two of them. 

“You know I do Draco, don’t make me admit it again. So is it true, did you go after Potter or did he go after you?” He asked quietly.

“What do the others believe?” Draco asked back defensively.

“You don’t need to worry, they all accepted it no questions asked. Most of them didn’t really seem too bothered about it to be honest, they just wanted to know what the noise was. Weasley was the only one a bit annoyed. He said  _ he _ should be the one to go after Potter, muttering about how it was  _ his _ best friend and why did it have to be  _ you _ . But Tony was good with him actually, put him in his place a bit. It was rather enjoyable.”

“What did Tony say?” Draco asked, suddenly interested.

“He said that it wasn’t anyone’s fault that you and Potter got roomed together and everyone else had accepted it so why hadn’t Weasley. Said he’d seen you calm Harry down after a bad dream before and that you were very good at it so surely it would make sense that you would do it again as you’d been  _ ‘first on the scene’.  _ He added that at the end of the day why did it really matter  _ who _ it was as long as Harry was OK, stuff like that really.”

“Interesting.” Draco said, seemed like Tony really had come through.

“Yes it was rather. He’s a good man Tony.” Blaise said casually. “I rather think you got lucky with your roommates. I’m not sure anyone else would have gone after you or covered for you like that. I don’t think it’s the first time it’s happened either.”

“Well aren’t you clever, working it all out?!” Draco said in an affectionate tease.

“I am very clever, yes. Thanks for noticing.” Blaise said arrogantly but then turned to Draco with a soft smile. “Seriously though, you OK?” He asked genuinely. 

“Yes, I actually am.” Said Draco honestly. “It’s a bit of a long story but it seems I said some stuff in my dream about Potter,  _ Harry _ , about not being safe around him, about how he tricked me etc. I’m sure you’re  _ clever _ enough to work out what it means, you know how hard it is for me to trust people. I guess I’ve been worried recently as we’ve become friendly, thinking he’s the last person on earth I should trust given our history. He knows stuff about me, stuff he could  _ use _ if he wanted to, he was at my trial... but then part of me thinks there’s a reason why he’s  _ Harry Potter _ , you know? If you think about it, he’s probably the most trustworthy person alive. He had loads of secrets and stuff he had to keep to himself during the war, plus he had his chance to destroy me at the trial if he’d wanted to. Seriously, would have been easy for him. So I guess we had a long talk and I realised now that I do actually trust him. Crazy as it sounds. He’s actually a pretty great guy and it turns out he wants to be friends with me. Merlin knows why but he does. I mean what ulterior motive could he possibly have? There isn’t one, he just likes hanging out with me I guess. So yeah, I think we’re friends now.”

“That’s good.” Said Blaise simply after a moment, he was a man of few words after all. “I’m glad.”

“Yeh it is good.” Draco simply agreed.

“As long as I’m still your best friend” Blaise said indignantly. 

“Jealous much?” Draco teased.

“I’m always jealous.” 

“Yes I know. I know you Zabini but don’t worry still got room in my life for you. Believe it or not there aren’t that many offers of friendship for ex-Death Eaters these days.”

“You said ex-Death Eater.” Blaise stated.

“Yes…” Draco said wondering what he meant by it.

“You always refer to yourself as a Death Eater, that’s the first time I heard you say ex-Death Eater. I’m pleased about that.”

“Oh right, yeh guess so.” Draco said, pondering the matter. He hadn’t said it deliberately, it just came out.

“Don’t ever call yourself a Death Eater again. You never were one, not really. I think you’re starting to move on, starting to heal and that’s good. I think Potter is good for you. If you can put the stuff with him behind you then you can put all the other shit behind you too.” Blaise said bluntly.

“Yes, I think you’re right.” Draco said happily, allowing himself to believe it.

Blaise stood up suddenly. 

“Right well, I think that’s quite enough talk of emotions and feelings for one day. I’m hungry and I need you to sit with me at lunch so come on.”

“Why? Where are Tony and Daphne?” Draco asked.

“They’ve gone on a date.” Blaise said, smirking.

“Ah, finally!” Draco said, feeling pleased.

“Yes, quite! Anyway, let’s go.”

“I need to shower first, I can’t go down looking like this!” Draco said getting up and grabbing his things.

“Fine but hurry up or we’ll miss the food, and don’t spend ages with your hair it doesn't matter, Potter won’t be there anyway.” 

Draco suddenly looked at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Nothing, nothing. Hurry up!” Blaise called out pushing him in the direction of the showers.

  
  
  


“So, back to the usual routine tonight then?” Harry said much later as he stepped out onto the Astronomy tower roof. 

“Yeh, guess so!” Draco smiled. “Sorry again about last night, and sorry if I made you tired for your visit today.”

“Meh, I’m always tired.” Harry shrugged, taking a seat on the floor next to Draco.

“So how was it?” Draco asked as he sat in his usual spot looking out onto the clear night sky, it really was beautiful up here but it was definitely getting colder, thank goodness for warming charms. 

“Yeh it was a really good day. Teddy’s growing so fast though, it was only a month since I last saw him but he’s changed already, he can sit up by himself now. You should meet him one day. He’s so cute, you’d love him!” Harry said gushingly.

“Hmm I’m not so sure Potter. I don’t do babies and I definitely don’t do _ cute _ !” Draco said screwing up his nose.

“Potter?! What happened to Harry?” He asked playfully.

“That was before you started going on about babies. Merlin, Harry Potter talking about babies, who would have thought it? The Prophet would have a field day.”

“Ergh, don’t!” Potter groaned. “It’s bad enough with them speculating about who I’m going to marry. It’s gone a bit mental since Ginny was spotted holding hands with Dean in Hogsmeade and they’ve decided that means I must be single. I’m only 18 for Christ's sake and I’ve just fought a war, why can’t I be single and enjoy life for a bit before getting married!”

“Yes I did see a rather entertaining article suggesting you were dating the Holyhead’s latest seeker, perhaps you should pop the question?” Draco teased.

“Where did you see that?!”

“Witch Weekly, the girls were passing it around at lunch. There was a whole double page spread. Although they didn’t seem to have any recent photos of you, perhaps you should do some head-shots with your agent?!”

“Malfoy I’m warning you, shut up!”

“See? You’re back to Malfoy now.” 

“Only because you’re being an insufferable git!” Harry pointed out.

“It’s just too easy to wind you up you know.” Draco was smiling, it was rather fun!

Harry had a rather cute mock grumpy face now! No wait, not  _ cute _ , he didn’t mean that, just…  _ funny _ , he meant funny. 

“Alright, I’m sorry Harry, I’ll stop.” Draco said sincerely. “I used to be jealous of your fame, you know, and I always thought you loved the attention. I can see now that I was wrong. Now I hate the notoriety I have and definitely don’t envy you being in the public eye so much, even if yours is good press.” 

“It’s not always good press. Most of them love me now but I still get hate mail, that never changes. I don’t read it though, I, er, well Kreacher goes though my mail. Gives me the gist and hands me anything actually important or from someone who I want to write to.”

“Ah, makes sense, I wondered why I wasn’t seeing all the fan mail and the marriage proposals at the breakfast table. It’s all round the school now that you're single too. You’d better watch out!”

“Argh. God! Makes me wish I’d just stayed with Ginny, things might have been easier!” Harry said exasperated and Draco was worried he might not be entirely joking. 

“No, don't say that. If it’s not right you shouldn’t force it and if you don’t want a girlfriend then don’t have one. It’s your life, be single if you want to be.” Draco said casually.

“I know, it’s just…” Harry drifted off.

“Just what?” Draco asked, genuinely interested.

“Well, I don’t think I do.” Harry said quietly, he took a deep breath before carrying on. “Sometimes, I look at Ron and Hermione and I feel a bit lonely. They’re good together, they know each other inside and out and it just works. I thought... I thought Ginny and I could have that but we don’t and sometimes that makes me sad. Even though I know it’s the right thing, Ginny and I are good now, we’re friends and it’s not awkward. I look at her and Dean together and I’m not jealous of Dean. I don’t feel that way about Ginny anymore, she’s more like a sister, but I’m jealous of what they have, and sometimes I do wish we could have made it work... It sounds stupid I know.”

“It doesn’t sound stupid Harry, it makes sense, but you’ll find someone if that’s what you want. I know I was teasing about the amount of love letters and stuff but seriously every witch in the country is going to want to date you and statistically speaking there’s bound to be a few that you actually like. It wouldn’t be hard to go on a few dates and find someone suitable.” Draco said, trying to sound encouraging. 

“I guess, but honestly the idea of going out on a date with someone I don’t know terrifies me…” He did actually sound pretty scared, his voice came out shaky and quiet like the lost little boy again. “...and the trouble is, everyone thinks they know me you know? Some of the letters I have read… they’re just ridiculous like  _ ‘I know how much you like Japanese food and it’s my favourite too..’  _ when I’ve never even tried Japanese food in my life! It’s just stuff they read or hear and they think it’s true. Anyone who I go on a date with will already have this idea of me in their head and what I’m like but no one really knows the real me… and there’s so much stuff going on in my head, I’m pretty fucked up Draco, like seriously, how on earth can I made someone understand… and I don’t want to have to go through it all again you know? Sitting here with you talking about it all, it’s nice, it feels right cos you at least understand what  _ He _ was like, Riddle, and some of the stuff I’ve been through, you were there for, but explaining it all to someone else… They’ll never understand me, not even Ginny could so how could someone else…Maybe it’s better if I’m just alone.”

Harry sounded so sad again and Draco wasn’t quite sure how it had come to this. One minute they’d been joking around and now everything was serious once more. He wanted to tell Harry everything would be OK but he was the last person to dish out bloody  _ dating _ advice. He did the only thing he could and tried to make Harry smile again. He loved it when he could make Harry smile, he’d always been able to get some sort of reaction out of him anyway, it’s what he lived for.

“Merlin Harry, that turned bleak pretty quickly.” He joked. “And I should warn you that I’m the last person to come to for dating advice, Blaise is much better for that.” 

Harry gave a little chuckle much to Draco’s delight and all at once the little half smile was back.

“You saying you can’t get the ladies Malfoy?! I thought you could get anything you wanted?!” He teased.

“I might have been able to once, but I was never really interested if I’m honest.” He said with a smile. “Now, though… well who wants to date an ex-Death Eater?” He tried to sound joking but there was something slightly bitter in his voice that he couldn’t leave out.

“You said ex-Death Eater that time. Not Death Eater.” Harry said brightly.

“Yes, Blaise’s fault, he’s been trying to get me to say that. Guess it’s working” Draco mumbled.

“Good, Blaise is right. Maybe I should go to him for dating advice after all!” Harry said happily. “So what’s his situation? I heard Daphne and Tony went on a date today, that’s good.”

“Yes I believe that may have been Blaise’ doing actually. He’s always been good at matching people up, he’s very perceptive.”

“I can see that. He doesn’t take his own advice though?” Harry inquired.

“He…” Draco wasn’t sure how much he should say, he didn’t want to betray his friend. “He doesn’t really do  _ relationships _ , more in for the casual thing if you know what I mean. He has trust issues, you know he’s on his eighth step-father?” It wasn’t really gossiping when it was common knowledge, Draco told himself.

“Yeh I did hear that actually… suppose it makes sense he’d be like that. So he, er, sleeps around?” Harry asked casually.

Draco frowned. “He’s not a bastard about it.” He said quickly in defence of his friend. “He is  _ selective _ about who he chooses as his _ companion _ and he always explains the situation to them. He would never want to hurt anyone, it’s always consensual.”

“Of course, not I get that, sorry, I wasn’t judging or anything, just being nosy I guess. It’s all fine, each to their own right?” Harry said quickly. “So, er, Blaise not trying to set you up with anyone then?” He asked after a pause. 

“He knows not to try, it would be a waste of his time.” Draco said in a bored flat tone. Harry frowned at him and Draco sighed knowing he’d have to explain. “My parents will be choosing who I marry, it will all be arranged, or at least I assume that nothing’s changed. Usually they would be finding a courtship for me this year but… I guess it will be postponed a year. No doubt you’ll hear of my engagement when the time comes. Until then I don’t see the point in wasting anyone’s time knowing we would have no future and I don’t actually desire anything more casual so… that’s just the way it is. I want to focus on my schoolwork anyway, I don’t have time for  _ distractions _ .”

“Oh, right.” Harry said awkwardly. “That doesn't sound very…  _ loving _ though, I mean is that really what you want?” 

“What I  _ want  _ has nothing to do with it.” Draco said getting slightly irritated now. “It’s just

the way it’s done in families like mine, I wouldn’t expect you to understand but it’s just my duty to marry and produce an heir. I accepted it for what it is a long time ago.”

“Well what if you meet someone and fall in love with them first?” Harry insisted.

“ _ Fall in love?! _ ” Draco sneered. “What sort of fairy tale world do you think I live in Potter? People like me don’t get happy endings, besides I’m not sure I’m capable of loving anyone and I’m sure they won’t love me. Father will have to settle for less than he’d hoped I’m sure but he could find some reasonable pure-blood witch who was neutral in the war. Maybe from a once grand family but their vaults have depleted somewhat and who he could pay handsomely to take his precious  _ marked _ heir off his hands and carry on the Malfoy bloodline. She won’t  _ love me _ but she’ll be happy enough with my money and the lifestyle I could give her no doubt as along she doesn’t mind sleeping with a husband that has  _ this _ on his arm.” 

He raised his left arm in the air in anger. “We’d only need to do it once hopefully and I could keep my top on I suppose. That is about as good as it’s going to get for me Potter.” 

His chest was heaving, he hadn’t meant to get so worked up it had all just come out. He hadn’t been this angry in a long time. It felt good to be angry, to feel something this strongly again. He looked over at Potter in a fierce scowl but the face he saw made him stop. It wasn’t pity like he’d expected but it was just sad, he was sad for him.

“I’m sorry Draco” The voice said quietly and sincerely. “I didn’t mean to push. I just think you deserve to be properly happy with someone who loves you for who you are, that's all. Don’t give up on that, please. But I’ll drop it now, I swear, that’s it. I’m sorry I asked… Just… please don’t call me  _ ‘Potter’ _ like that, I hate that. It’s Harry, remember?” 

Harry was looking at him with those big soft pleading green eyes, those eyes that Draco could never say no to and it made Draco’s anger disappear immediately.

“I’m...I’m sorry Harry. I didn’t mean to get so worked up.” He said quietly.

“It’s ok, I’d be angry if it was me. I’m kind of angry for you actually.” Harry’s voice was back to normal now. 

“Don’t be, it’s fine honestly. I’m fine.” Draco said more trying to convince Harry than himself. He wants him to drop it but knows how stubborn Harry is.

“Hmm ok.” Harry said unconvincingly. “Maybe it will turn out differently though.”

“Yes, maybe.” Draco said quietly knowing he couldn’t hope for anything else. It was dangerous to hope.

“So, did you actually have a question for me tonight or have we kind of just done that now?” Harry asked cheerfully trying to change the subject. 

“Well, there was something I was going to ask you.” Draco started. “It’s not really a typical question for you like we usually do, more just asking your advice really.”

“As long as it’s not dating advice then ask away.” Harry joked.

“No, definitely not dating advice. Let’s not cover that topic again for a while.” Draco gave a small laugh relieved they could joke about it but then changed into a more sombre tone. 

“It was prompted by you actually, your apology last night. You were right, even though I didn’t think I needed to hear it because I had already forgiven you, it has made me trust you more and I think you needed to say it.”

“Yes I think so too, I feel better today and it’s changed something for us.” Harry said quietly.

“Yes it has.” Draco agreed. “Well-” he sighed. “I have a lot of people to apologise to, and I’d like to try. It might sound stupid, but, well I’ve made a list, I was going to try and say sorry to these people, go through them one by one. It might help me, to move on and it might help them to… I don’t know, not trust me, or even like me but just maybe, to accept me?”

“I… I think that’s a good idea Draco. No harm in trying right? I think you need to do it, for you. I know what it’s like to carry around guilt… Anyway let that be the main reason, do it for you. If people still can’t accept you after you’ve changed and apologised then that’s their problem.” Harry said determinedly and Draco was very grateful for his words.

“Right, OK, then… that’s what I’ll do.” Draco said, making his mind up.

“So who’s first on the list?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think please! :D  
> Thanks!


	22. The List of Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco starts apologising one by one to all the students he bullied or made life difficult for at school before the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much of Harry this chapter but he is still having nighttime chats with Draco they're just not mentioned.  
> You can imagine them talking about what you like but they're still getting to know each other and discussing the past. We'll catch up with that soon!

“Granger.” She looked up at him in mild surprise. “Could I talk to you for a moment? Please.”

He tried to sound as polite and sincere as he could but it was hard to do when he felt this nervous, he hated feeling vulnerable.

It was the next day, a Sunday afternoon. Harry had deliberately taken Weasley and Thomas to watch the Gryffindor quidditch training session. With Weasley’s sister being the captain, who also happened to be Thomas’ girlfriend, it was easy to get them out of the way. The other couples of the group were all off out somewhere. Blaise was turning on the charm with some of the single girls over the other side of the room keeping them distracted and Tony had started some loud intellectual debate amongst some of the more studious single boys on the study tables. Daphne had asked Granger for some help with her charms homework, using very carefully placed flattery. It had all been very well done and Draco was lucky to have the allies he had. There would be no other perfect moment.

“What do you want Malfoy?” She said warily but not maliciously.

“I just want to talk, that’s all, there’s no scheme. I just want to…  _ apologise _ , properly and in full, if you’ll let me, for everything…” When she didn’t reply he carried on. “I would be grateful if we could do it in private though, please, maybe in my room?” He asked cautiously.

“If you simply want to apologise I don’t see why you can’t do it here.” She said defensively.

“I could, and if you insist then I will try, but I would like to be completely open and honest with you, it will be better for both of us I think. I want to do this right and here is not the best place. I worry that my habit of being guarded around others will make me sound insincere.” Draco said formally and carefully.

Granger was studying him trying to make up her mind but logically she couldn’t really argue with him. Daphne was tactfully pretending to be engrossed in her book. Blaise and Tony were playing their parts well and no one was giving them any attention but it wouldn’t last and Draco knew he couldn’t say what he had to say here with the worry that people were watching him.

“Fine! Lead the way.” Granger said at last. Her voice was sharp, warning him that she would take no nonsense.

Draco inwardly breathed a sigh of relief and swiftly turned to walk to his dorm room hoping that she would indeed follow. She did and he carefully closed the door behind them. She immediately went to sit down on Harry’s bed. Draco didn’t ask how she knew it was Harry’s, it was the messiest section of the room by far, who else’s would it be? Draco knew that sitting on his own bed would be too far away but sitting on the empty one next to Harry’s was to close. He settled for sitting on Tony’s hoping he wouldn’t mind. He didn’t think he would. 

“You planned this.” She pointed out, it wasn’t a question. 

He didn’t bother denying it, it would only insult her intelligence so he didn’t say anything and just waited for her to continue.

“Harry, Anthony, Daphne, Zabini too I presume? Well, you’ve got me here on my own so congratulations, did Harry tell you to do this?” She said, with a mild tone of accusation in her voice.

“No Harry didn’t tell me or encourage me in any way to do this.” It was true and she had to know that this was coming from him. “It was my idea, I wanted to. I merely approached him and asked if he thought it was a good idea and he voluntarily offered some guidance. That is all.”

“Are you  _ friends _ now?” She asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes. Harry and I have talked,  _ a lot _ , we’ve both offered full and sincere apologies and we’ve accepted that we were both young and foolish. Things are different now, so yes we are friends.” He said carefully.

She sighed, unfolding her arms and leaning back on them. Her gaze softened and she turned her head to look out the fake enchanted window on the wall. 

“Harry has changed, he’s still changing. He was so…  _ different  _ this summer, I always thought I understood him the most but now… I don’t know.” She said thoughtfully before turning to look at Draco once more. She wasn’t angry though, she was being honest and that’s what Draco wanted. “Harry says you’ve changed. I admit you do seem different but I just don’t see how it’s that easy to let go of seven years worth of…stuff and just be friends. If that’s what you expect of me then honestly I’m not sure I can do it and Ron definitely won’t!”

“You raise a number of valid points, allow me to address them all.” Draco said carefully.

“Firstly, yes Harry has changed, I think we all have really. You can’t go through something like we’ve been through and not change. Harry has been through the most so he has more to process in his mind than the rest of us. Harry’s…  _ fight _ with Riddle defined who he was growing up, it shaped him, it was a part of his destiny, something that gave him purpose. He is a very driven character, he’s passionate about things, he gives meaning to everything he does. Without this strong influence in his life driving his decisions, guiding him, he feels lost, like he doesn’t know what to do now. He doesn’t know how to direct his actions and find meaning in his life anymore. Before, he always had Riddle in his sights and that was the endgame, now he’s just living day to day but there’s no end goal. On top of which he has all the pressure of the public and the media, who  _ think _ they know him and they are constantly writing his narrative for him, telling him and others who he is, what he should do next, making predictions about his life etc. That’s hard for him to cope with because he doesn’t even know himself now. Plus he is dealing with grief. He was victorious but at what cost? Obviously we know that he has made the world a better place but for him it’s irrational, he wanted to save  _ everyone _ which of course wasn’t possible but he has a habit of achieving the impossible and he didn’t manage to save everyone he loves so on some level, he thinks he failed and he carries that guilt with him.” 

Granger was giving him a strange look, she was studying him carefully and Draco suddenly felt vulnerable, like she could see into his very soul. He was nervous, he wasn't sure which way this was going to go. After a short while she spoke.

“Has he told you all of this?” She asked curiously.

“Not  _ specifically _ no, but I have listened carefully to what he has said and put the pieces together to realise what he means. He’s not always good with words but his eyes- I mean, his  _ body language _ speak volumes sometimes. He doesn’t hide his emotions, it makes him an easy person to read as long as you know how.” He was wondering if he was making a fool of himself. He hadn’t really meant to say this much, to reveal this much but he just found himself speaking before he knew it.

“And you know how to read him?” She asked sceptically.

“Reading people is what I do Granger, I’m still a Slytherin after all.” He said a bit sarcastically.

“Hmm.” She pondered out loud, her face deep in thought.

Draco took this as his cue to carry on.

“As your second point, yes I have changed. I’m not making excuses for my school boy behaviour, I know I was awful to you in particular as well as several others. I was a self-serving bully who was horrible to others to make myself feel good, I know that, but it’s how I was raised-”

She snorted and folded her arms over her chest once more.

“No hear, me out! Please.” He said quickly. “I know how it sounds and I really am not trying to justify my behaviour. I can see now how despicable it was, but at the time it was all I knew. I was brought up to be exactly like my father, the amount of pressure I was under at home to act a certain way, to achieve certain things, it was a lot more than any child should have to endure. I was never really allowed to be a child, everything in my life was controlled by my father and everything I did at school got back to him. He couldn’t believe that someone of muggle birth could beat me in every test and he punished me quite severely for it. That was the main reason why I hated you. I was raised to believe that purebloods were superior to muggle borns and for a long time I did believe it, I called you some horrible things and I looked down at you. For that I am truly sorry but don’t we all believe what our parents tell us when we’re young? I have grown up now, I have seen the world for what it is and formed my own mind away from my father’s influence. He was most definitely wrong and I believe he sees that himself now. I am not my father, nor do I ever want to be. I hope you believe me when I say I have no problem with muggle borns and I hope to make that clear to the world someday. I hope to do some good in the Malfoy name.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

“That must have been hard for you to say.” She said, as if she was still trying to make up her mind.

“Yes it was hard.” He said honestly. “It was hard for me to say because I still have my father’s voice in my head but I am learning to push it aside and act on my own thoughts and feelings. It’s hard because I still feel very uncomfortable being honest. It makes me feel vulnerable. I was brought up never to trust anyone, not even friends and family. If you never trust anyone they can’t betray you but it is a very lonely existence and I don’t want to live like that anymore. I want to be different, I am learning now that being honest with people can be a good thing. I’ve seen that with Harry, even to a lesser extent with Tony, Blaise and Daphne. I’ve never really had proper friends like that before. Slytherin friendships aren’t really like that. So far, I have not regretted opening up to them and they have proven themselves to be good friends so that has helped me a lot.”

He paused to allow her to respond but she didn’t say anything so he carried on.

“To address your last point, I am merely telling you this because I want you to hear it. What you choose to do now is up to you. Certainly we have friends in common and it would benefit everyone involved if we could all get along on some level but we don’t have to be friends exactly if that is not what you wish. I’m not asking you to trust me completely. All I’m asking is that you accept that I am not who I was, nor am I my father, and I would ask that you trust in the fact that my friendship with Harry is genuine. Also some help with the latest Arithmancy assignment would not go amiss, it is genuinely rather tricky!” 

She laughed at that last bit like he was hoping she would and it did help ease the tension somewhat. She took a deep breath and stood up to walk across the room and stand in front of him. He stood up too.

“Alright Malfoy, I admit that your apology was better and more sincere than I thought it would be and I believe you. I still have some bad memories of you and your family, your  _ house... _ but I know it wasn’t all your fault. It’s wrong of me to hate  _ you _ for it all though, especially now you’ve said sorry for your part in it. I don’t really think I can be friends with you exactly but I won’t get in the way of your friendship with Harry. I’m happy for you to be around and I trust that you have no scheme or whatever, and if you want to do school work together then that’s fine too. I can give you a chance.”

“That’s all I ask.” He said quietly, breathing out a small sigh of relief.

“Right then, that’s settled. I said I’d help Daphne with her charms work.” and she made to go out the door.

“Oh she doesn’t really need help, she finished it yesterday.” Draco said a little smugly.

“Oh.” Said Granger. “Well in that case did you want me to look over your Arithmancy work now?” She asked casually.

“Sure.” He said simply and then added “Thank you Granger.”

She was at the door when he hesitated and turned around to look at him once more.

“Could you-, could you call me Hermione please. When you say  _ ‘Granger’ _ in your voice it- it brings it all back. I want a clean slate Malfoy, no looking back, let’s just forget about it and start again.” She said determinedly.

“Of course, if that is what you wish I would like that. Please call me Draco, I actually hate it when people call me ‘Malfoy’ as it reminds me of my father.” He said honestly and was surprised about how well this conversation had ended.

“Right OK. I can do that.” She said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself more than him.

“Thank you  _ Hermione _ , for listening.” Draco said as sincerely.

One apology ticked off the list and he’d started with a hard one. He was hoping that the next few would be easier but then there was the hardest one of all that he was saving until last. He waited a few minutes before returning to the common room. 

  
  


The next morning was double potions which was by far Draco’s favourite class. He was really enjoying the process of making different batches of ‘anti-dream potion’, changing one thing each time just to see what it did and then making notes on the changes. He also liked working with Harry. He was planning to use some of his free period after lunch to talk to Corner.

Micheal (as Draco was now calling him after their chat) had been surprisingly good about the whole thing. He’d admitted to Draco that his feelings of anger were more to do with the Carrows but it was just hard seeing Draco everyday as he was reminded of them and the “other Death Eaters.” Draco could understand that, he knew what he represented to some people even those he despised himself for it. He told Micheal that he was sorry about what the Carrows had done to him and that he’d never wanted to take the Mark. He wanted Micheal to know that he hated the Death Eaters just as much as he did and that he did not agree with anything they represented. The two had shook hands and that had been that. Another one ticked off.

Longbottom seemed quite popular these days and always surrounded by people at mealtimes. He wasn’t taking as many subjects as the others so was managing his classwork during his quieter free periods. Often during the free periods they all had he was nowhere to be seen. Draco had to wait until Thursday for a good opportunity when he saw Longbottom hang back on his own after their double herbology lesson to finish off some extra work for Professor Sprout. It was nearly dinner time but Draco asked if Longbottom and Luna would be able to meet him in the entrance Hall after dinner for a walk and a chat. Longbottom seemed a bit surprised but he agreed.

They were very receptive when Draco started talking to them both later on. Luna had seemed a bit confused by his apology and said whimsically that people could only apologise for something when they’d been in the wrong but as far as she was concerned Draco hadn’t personally wronged her so how could he apologise. Draco tried again to explain it but she had just said that he if needed to apologise to her to make himself feel better then he could and she would pretend to listen but that he didn’t need to ask for forgiveness as there was nothing to forgive. Draco apologised anyway thinking that at least he could tick her off the list but secretly he was quite happy with her continued happy easy-going manner towards him.

Longbottom hadn’t been too bad either, Draco admitted to being a prat when he was younger and apologised for all the unkind things he said but Longbottom-or  _ Neville _ as he now insisted on being called said that all the “stuff from before” didn’t really matter now anyway. He thanked Draco for his apology and said he was more than happy to give him a chance. “If Harry says you’ve changed then I trust Harry” he said also adding “Luna likes you and she’s a great judge of character so you’re alright in my books.”

He really needed his free periods on Friday to study as lots more work had piled up during the week and he was determined not to fall behind. He worked most of Saturday too as all the other seventh years had gone to Hogsmeade for the day as it was an official visiting day for the rest of the school too. Daphne had wanted to go with Astoria and Draco knew that Blaise wanted to go too so he’d insisted he’d be fine as long as Blaise brought him back some of Honeydukes finest chocolate truffles. He didn’t disappoint!

Sunday was the Gryffindor team quidditch practice again so he asked Blaise to walk down to the pitch with them around about the time he thought they would be finishing. He was nervous about going alone due to Gryffindor beaters but he knew Harry was down there watching the practice so they wouldn’t cause trouble in front of him. He might be able to catch Thomas alone if Harry saw him and subtly helped, he wasn’t ready to face Weasley yet. Turned out the practice was finished and most of the group were heading back. He avoided them but could see Thomas and the Weasley girl walking alone. They looked happy and it didn’t look like he'd interrupted anything important so he decided on the spur of the moment he may as well face this head on and apologise to both of them at once. It would save him some time but also he did not particularly want to be with the Weasley girl alone. Blaise tactfully hung back and sat under a tree to read a book he’d brought with him but Draco knew he wasn’t far away and would keep a lookout for him.

They had been a bit defensive at first, particularly Thomas but to Draco’s surprise it had been the redhead who convinced her boyfriend to hear him out. He’d apologised to them both about all the taunts over the years, the things he’d said about muggle borns and the things he’d said about the Weasleys. He especially apologised to Thomas about the cellar at Malfoy Manor but Thomas said he hadn’t been particularly bothered about that. After all he’d only been there for a couple of hours and Luna had already told him what Draco had done for her. It did take some convincing but they thanked him for his apology and they assured him they wouldn’t be making any trouble for him. They just wanted to be left alone and to move on with their life which he’s been more than happy to agree to. He wasn’t looking for any more friends, he was just sick of Corner, Thomas and Weasley giving him dirty looks and making snide remarks. Still, hopefully two of them wouldn’t now.

Him and Gr- _ Hermione,  _ he was still getting used to that, had planned on working on the next Arithmancy assignment together as they had done last Sunday before dinner. They hadn’t talked since their chat last week but she had smiled and nodded at him a few times this week and her body language was much more relaxed around him now. The tension in the small group was definitely better in their Arithmancy and Ancient Runes classes too. When they got back to the common room he told Blaise he was going to lie down for a bit just to process things but he’d be out soon. After thirty minutes he went to find Hermione in the common room and he saw her hurriedly finishing off a conversation with Blaise. Draco raised an eyebrow at Blaise and Blaise smiled and subtly nodded back in the direction of the boys dormitories, just as Weasley, Harry and Thomas walked back into the common room. Blaise just walked past and through the door behind Draco. Weasley came over to Hermione and gave her a quick kiss and she was saying something to him that Draco couldn’t hear, then she looked up to Draco and called out.

“Raincheck on the Arithmancy Draco?” She asked casually but loud enough for a few people to turn their heads in surprise. He just nodded at her and waited for the explosion that he knew would happen.

“ _ DRACO?! _ You realise that’s Malfoy you’re talking to?! I passed it up when I heard you calling him that the other day, I thought maybe you were just tired but that’s twice now!” Weasley had started this little rant now and couldn’t seem to stop, clearly he’d been thinking about it for a few days. “Do you remember who he is?! What he’s done?! Bloody Hell ‘Mione don’t tell me you’re onboard with this whole ‘He’s a different person’ bollocks!” Weasley shot a dirty look at Harry as he said that and Harry looked frustrated.

“Micheal, Dean you’ll back me up here right?” Weasley said looking around.

Thomas was scratching his head and deliberately not looking at his redheaded friend.

Micheal spoke up though. “Actually Ron, I reckon he might be ok. We had a good talk the other day.”

“What, you serious? You too now?! He’s  _ Malfoy _ , he’s manipulating you!”

Micheal raised his eyebrow at Weasley. “You think I’m stupid enough to be manipulated?” He asked. 

Never insult a Ravenclaw’s intelligence, Weasley, do you know nothing? Draco thought to himself. 

Weasley rounded on Thomas. “You going to say anything about this?!”

Thomas just shrugged. “No I don’t reckon I will. You’re making a bit of a fool of yourself to be honest now Ron.”

Weasley’s face went bright red and Draco suddenly found that he did not need to be in the room for his next outburst. Blaise was waiting for him anyway. He walked back into his bedroom and sat down on his bed. Blaise was already stretched out on Tony’s looking quite relaxed.

“Take it your chat with Thomas went well then?” Blaise asked.

“Yes it did. I spoke to  _ Ginevra  _ too, that’s nearly all the list done now. You seemed to be having a cosy chat yourself there, what did Hermione say to you?” Draco asked back.

Blaise sat up on the bed he was occupying now and looked at Draco. 

“She approached me.” He began speaking carefully and casually at the same time just like he was good at. “She wanted to know what I make of your...  _ friendship _ with Potter.”

“What do you mean? What exactly did she say?” Draco frowned at Blaise.

“She said it surprised her in your chat last week with how well you know Potter, how much you...  _ understand _ him. She said it sounded like you care about him rather a lot.” Blaise said with a blank expression.

“Well yes of course, that’s rather the point of friendship isn’t it?” Draco said frustratingly, he felt like there was something he wasn’t getting that Blaise was. “What are you not telling me?” he accused.

“Nothing you don’t already know but I can’t be the one to say it, you need to realise it for yourself Draco.” He said cryptically and then before Draco could respond he just got up and walked out.

Draco felt infuriated. He was usually good at working out the subtext of conversations but Blaise was being deliberately hard to read and Draco didn’t understand what he was getting at. Of course he cared for Harry, they were friends, why was that a bad thing? He was still new at this whole  _ friendship _ thing, was he doing it wrong somehow?! Why was Hermione discussing it with Blaise and what was this thing he needed to work out for himself. It didn’t make any sense. He’d been really pleased with the progress he’d made this week on his apology list but now his content feeling had gone. He was left feeling confused, frustrated and thinking about Harry… again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... Blaise definitely knows something Draco doesn't ;)


	23. The Dark Mark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately for Draco there are still people who want to punish him for having the Dark Mark and want to prove he doesn't belong back at Hogwarts :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Possible trigger warning: mentions of an attack, mild violence, getting beaten up etc. but it's not graphic

Monday was always a good day for Draco, He was well rested from the weekend. He was still losing a couple of hours of sleep a night for his chats with Harry but it was hardly a big sacrifice. Overall he was still sleeping a bit better. Even if he got the occasional bad dream, they weren’t as awful as they once were. He usually just woke up a bit clammy and would lie awake for a while. He hadn’t had a really bad reaction since that night with Harry. 

Their potions project was coming along well. A couple of Draco’s ideas hadn’t worked but that was to be expected, he knew he wouldn’t get it bang on straight away and wasn’t in the least bit concerned. He thought about adding a small infusion of Wormwood but the effects had been too similar to the Draught of Living Death which was definitely not what they wanted. Professor Rosier didn’t seem concerned either and their work was still going better than some of the others in the room he thought as Macmillan and Bones melted yet another cauldron. Draco was trying his next idea today which was a touch of peppermint. He was quite confident about this as it worked well in the Calming Draught. Harry had also suggested adding one counter clockwise stir into the clockwise stirs Draco was doing. He was sceptical but didn’t want to dismiss Harry’s idea when he rarely offered them so he did and he was surprised to find the potion immediately changed to the perfect shade of purple. Impressive.

Tuesday, however, wasn’t so good. They were all surprised when they walked into the DADA classroom to find desks laid out, it was usually a purely practical class. 

“I know, I know! Desks!” Professor Weasley said with a bit of a smile. “I’m sorry but we can’t just have fun all the time, I do have to remember to actually teach you the curriculum this year.”

Everyone took their seats, two per desk. Draco sat with Blaise, Daphne sat with Tony and they waited for their Professor to continue.

“So as you know, every year there are a couple of dark creatures that come up in your exam. Seventh year it’s usually Dementors and/or Inferi.” A couple of people in the room shuddered involuntarily including Draco, everyone associated those things with one wizard now, even if he was dead it was still not a nice thought. 

“I know, not great memories for some, I get that, sorry.” Professor Weasley said after people’s reactions. “I know you did some theory in your sixth year but that was a while ago now and I need to make sure you know the theory really well so we’re going to spend the next couple of lessons on each of them. Then we’ll get back to the fun stuff I promise. I’ve been thinking carefully about the duelling partners I mentioned. So this lesson will be on Dementor theory. Homework will be an essay detailing everything you know about them. Practical repelling of Dementors is also on the curriculum for seventh year. Performing a patronus is usually quite advanced magic but I have it on good authority that you guys might be quite good at those already so next lesson you can show me them.”

Draco suddenly panicked and was not listening to Professor Weasleys talk on Dementors. He could not perform a patronus, no way. He knew the theory, he’d studied it and he’d tried but he’d never been able to make anything happen. He never usually failed at things and this had been the one thing he’d been dreading coming up. He knew it was supposed to be pretty advanced so he was hoping that they wouldn’t. It was no secret, however, that Harry could perform this advanced magic effortlessly. He’d been on the receiving end of his stag during third year and still couldn’t believe how powerful it had been from a thirteen year old wizard, it was unbelievable. If Harry had taught the rest of his little group patronuses during fifth year, they’d probably all be able to do them perfectly and it would be so embarrassing to not be able to do anything in front of the whole class. 

After Defence class he was in an unusually bad mood which is why he brushed off Blaise’s offer to walk back to the common room together. He needed to clear his head and went off in the opposite direction not really thinking where he was going. Away with his thoughts he wasn’t looking around him. He’d got too comfortable around the class of late, too complacent, so he had a moment of surprise when he felt the spell hit square in the back. 

He’d been so stupid, so foolish to trust that things had got better recently. Instantly he knew he couldn’t move his feet- Stickfast hex, of course. He could feel them closing in on all sides. The gang of Gryffindors from before. He had his wand in his pocket. He could move his arms so he could get it, but then what? He was usually quick at moving, dodging, he knew that but could he take them all on without being able to move his feet? Honestly, even if he could, was there much point? Would it make it worse to attack back? No one would believe he was the victim here. Maybe it was just better to let them do what they wanted. This is what he’d expected it to be like this year, he had been so stupid to think it was getting better. They were moving their mouths, looking at him with menacing faces, scowling eyes but he wasn’t even listening to their insults. He was still trying to think what his best move was here but his brain wasn’t working as fast as it usually did for some reason. Then he felt a blinding pain in the back of his head and that was the last thing he remembered.

  
  


He woke on a soft surface, he thought anyway, it was hard to tell. He couldn’t really feel his body properly, everything was a bit numb and tingly. He opened his eyes to try and see where he was but everything was spinning. He groaned audibly and suddenly a face appeared in front of him and two eyes were looking down at him, or was it four eyes? Maybe there were two people, but then it must have been two people with exactly the same eyes and that wasn’t possible. He knew these eyes, they were unique, only one person has eyes like that. His favourite eyes in the world, he thought dreamily. His favourite person… 

Then he suddenly realised what his brain was making him think, must be pain medicine or something, for crying out loud. Come to think of it his brain was hurting or maybe it was more accurate to say his head. Actually,  _ everything _ was hurting. The owner of the eyes was saying something, his lips were moving but it was all just coming out fuzzy and slowly the picture was fading… he was slipping away.

_ “Harry… Harry… Stay with me Harry… don’t leave me Harry.”  _ Shit. Was he saying that out loud? He didn’t even know anymore…

When he finally opened his eyes properly it was dark and there were several people all standing round his bed. One of them was very cross. Oh no, why were they cross, were they cross at him? They had realised he was awake now. They were moving closer to the bed. They were closing ranks around him again. They were all talking at once but then some of them sounded angry and someone was pushing. Was it going to be another fight? No, it can’t be, not them, not here. How did they get in? Just leave me alone please.

_ “No, please, not you... Please...Please don’t hurt me again…” _

The next time he opened his eyes everything was quiet, really quiet. His head felt a little clearer, the room wasn’t spinning as much. He looked up at the high arched stone ceiling, he recognised that ceiling but couldn’t think where from. Everything was hurting, his head, his legs, his back, his arm… Now he thought about it his arm was particularly bad, it was throbbing and  _ burning _ , like  _ really _ burning… and it was his  _ left  _ arm. No... no it can’t be. He could feel it moving on his skin, it hasn’t moved since… NO! He tried to sit up panicked, he needed to see his arm, where was it? He couldn’t sit up though, there was someone holding him down, strong hands on his shoulders. There was a voice, what was it saying? He could make out words.

“Draco stop... it’s OK… Draco just sit still… Draco stop moving…help me… yes he needs that…Draco everything will be OK… try to relax… yes I think so… Draco relax… Draco...”

It was a soothing voice, he liked it. He trusted it.  _ ‘Draco relax’ _ . Ok. Relax, he could do that.

When he woke for the fourth time he felt much better. A bit fuzzy still but better. He was definitely on a bed but not his bed. He sniffed the air, there was a distinct medical smell to the room. Bloody great… his ‘quiet’ year at school really wasn’t supposed to include a trip  _ here _ . He sniffed again and the soothing woody notes of sandalwood filled his nose. He knew that smell, he felt relaxed instantly.

“Hey... Draco?” Said a familiar quiet voice.

“Harry.” he said softly.

“Yes I’m here.” 

Then he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, a hand maybe, he thought anyway. His body felt kind of numb but the slight pressure was nice, he welcomed the touch. Good. Harry was here. That comforted him more than anything and he didn’t have the energy to wonder why that was at the moment. 

His head felt clearer though, even though it was hurting still it was less fuzzy. He could think clearer now. He needed to work this out. He was in the hospital wing, that much was certain by now. Harry was here but no one else seemed to be. What else? What could he be sure of? He didn’t know what time it was. He didn’t know how long he’d been here. He had vague memories of waking up before and he thought maybe he’d been here for a while but he wasn’t sure. Think. What was the last thing he could remember for sure?... Defence Against the Dark Arts, he thought, feeling sick as the realisation that the next lesson would be on patronus’ came flooding into his head. No use worrying about that now, he needed to figure out what had happened next. Harry. He could ask Harry.

“Harry?” he called.

“Yes Draco?” 

Then he came into view. He was sitting on a chair next to Draco’s bed. He was wearing his school robes but they were all in disarray, crinkled and messy. His tie was hanging so loose it might as well not be there and his shirt was all untucked with the top two buttons undone. His hair was even messier than usual if that was possible and his skin was paler than Draco had seen before. His lips looked dry and his eyes were puffy with dark circles under them. 

“Merlin, Harry, you look awful!” He said before he could help himself.

Harry laughed and the flicker of worry that had been in his eyes disappeared.

“Cheers Draco! That’s really nice! At least I know you’re feeling better, never thought I’d want to hear you insult me so much.” Harry chuckled again.

“Sorry! How long have you been sitting there?” 

“Erm, about two and a half days I guess.” He said casually

“WHAT?!” Draco said and he tried desperately to sit up.

There’s no way he could have been there for that long. What the hell happened? He needed answers. Harry noticed and immediately stood up and placed his hands firmly on Draco’s shoulders.

“Draco stop!” He said and his urgent tone made Draco obey automatically. Harry continued.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have worried you like that. I know you must have questions. I just don’t want you getting worked up again or Madam Pomfrey will be straight in here. She had to sedate you last time.” He said quickly. “Just try to relax as much as possible yeah? Relax and I promise I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“OK.” Draco said slowly, reluctantly agreeing and letting his body relax. His mind was still going a hundred miles per hour though. “What happened?” He said to Harry with all the authority he could muster.

“Well, no one knows exactly. You were attacked, that much is obvious and it happened in the free period between Defence and lunch on Tuesday. That’s all we know for sure. Blaise said you were off during Defence and that he tried to get you to walk back to the common room with him but you… well he said you were pretty grumpy and stubborn about the fact that you wanted to be alone so he let go. He’s been beating himself up about it pretty bad, won’t talk to anyone, he reckons it’s his fault. He would be here now but Madam Pomfrey told everyone to get out after last time… she hasn’t let anyone else come in she tried to ban me but…” Harry trailed off looking embarrassed.

“What do you mean? What happened last time? You saying you’re the only one allowed in now? Why?” Draco asked all at once, he was still feeling very confused. 

“Erm, well let me just start from the beginning.” Harry said frowning and running his hand through his hair again like he did when he was nervous. “We were all in the common room during the free after Defence, I kinda asked where you were but Blaise was pretty loyal and insisted you were fine but didn’t say anything else. I guess he was trying to give you the space you wanted. We all started working but Blaise kept looking at his watch and looking at the door. During the whole time we were there he was getting more and more agitated and then he stopped working altogether. I was getting worried that something was wrong. Then, after most of the free period had gone by he whispered something to Daphne and just left. She looked a bit worried but she didn’t say anything. 

Something didn’t sit right with me though so I followed him with the cloak. He was just looking all over walking up and down. I didn’t know what was going on at first, stupid me. I wasted time, I’m sorry. Then I realised he was clearly looking for you and he was worried. I remembered about the map… so stupid that I didn’t think before… Anyway, I saw you alone in a broom cupboard on the third floor and you weren’t moving. I knew something wasn’t right, I ended up confessing to Blaise about the map and we went to find you together… You were... in a bad way… so we brought you here. I levitated you but I covered your body with the cloak so no one could see on the way. Blaise went in front and made a path but it was still just about during lesson time so it was quiet.”

Draco felt sick as Harry was describing this all to him. He was grateful that Harry had the map and the cloak. He dreaded to think who would have found him otherwise and when. Harry was still looking him at him nervously for a reaction but when Draco gave none he just carried on.

“We got you here just before lunch. Madam Pomfrey got straight to work and kicked us out. You were bad, she needed to work. We then went to get Professor McGonagall, she was furious and really worried but we had no idea what had happened. She started asking all the portraits, the ghosts but no one had seen anything. Professor Rosier and Bill both came to help Madame Pomfrey. She said she needed them and they were there most of the day, been in and out since too. We were so scared Draco, we didn’t know if you’d be OK... Anyway, halfway through lunch Daphne and Tony turned up. They’d been worried when the three of us hadn’t come to lunch, Daphne thought something had happened so she just came to the hospital wing just in case. She was really upset but McGonagall insisted they go to class. She said Blaise and I could wait outside the hospital wing though. We weren’t going anywhere.” Harry said somewhat fiercely which made Draco’s stomach lurch a bit. Why was Harry being so protective over him?

“It took most of the afternoon for them to get you stable and then we were finally allowed in.” Harry carried on explaining. “You were awake briefly. Blaise and I were both here, you saw me… but, I-er, well I don’t think you saw Blaise. Then Madame Pomfrey gave you a sleeping draught. I wouldn’t let her give you dreamless sleep, I knew what you’d say.” At that Harry smiled slightly and even though he was still feeling sick and worried, the sight of Harry smiling automatically made him smile a bit too.

“Yeah that made Professor Rosier smile as well.” Harry said fondly. “Anyway, Tuesday night, we were all here: Blaise, Daphne, Tony and me. They’ve all been so worried you know, they’re good friends Draco, they care about you a lot… Daphne was crying, Blaise was cursing himself, Tony and I were trying to tell him it wasn’t his fault but he was pretty worked up. Then Hermione came in and she was cross with me because I missed Transfiguration. I said I didn’t care about stupid class and that you were more important, she started banging on about me being obsse- well, er, anyway it’s not important  _ what _ she said but we had a bit of a row. I said I wasn’t moving from your bed and she said there was no way she’d let me miss any more lessons.”

Draco was blinking rapidly trying to take it all in. His head must be a bit foggy still as he could have sworn he heard Harry calling him important. Saying _ he _ was more important than lessons or something. That- that didn’t seem right… Or maybe he just always got this worked up over his friends being in the hospital wing. Yes, he probably did.

Harry was looking a bit guilty now as he carried on the tale. “I guess we were pretty loud… er, sorry, you woke up and… well you were really upset. You seemed really scared, like we were all going to attack you or something. Madame Pomfrey was really cross, rightly so to be honest. She said we all had to go because we were distressing you and that visitors were banned. At first that seemed to calm you down. I didn’t want to leave but I thought maybe it was best… Everyone else had already gone so I went to leave but, er-, well you got pretty upset again. You kept saying that you, er, wanted me to stay, so… erm, in the end I was allowed to stay but no one else.” He said a bit awkwardly.

Draco flushed slightly. Had he really asked Harry to stay? Salazar, he hoped he didn’t make a fool of himself.

When Harry spoke again it was slightly softer. “I’ve been here ever since. I, erm, I couldn’t leave you. When it was just me and no one else you seemed pretty calm, relaxed, so we thought it was the best thing for you. You’ve been on some pretty strong painkillers but you’ve been sleeping mostly on your own, no more sleeping draught. I told Madame Pomfrey that you like lavender so she put some by your bed, that seemed to calm you on it’s own…”

Harry trailed off.

Draco was quiet for a moment taking it all in, he still had questions, a lot of them, but the first thing he could think was-

“How do you know I like lavender?” He asked quietly.

Harry’s face that had been pale was now slightly flushed.

“Erm, well, it’s er- it’s how you smell, you know, er, when you’ve had a shower, your poncy hair stuff or whatever and then in potions you use it a lot I guess.” He stuttered awkwardly

Hmm, Harry Potter knew how he smelt. That was… That was something. 

He still had questions but nothing else seemed to matter at the moment. He was exhausted, he still needed more sleep, even though he’d had lots it didn't seem enough. It was like his body was cursing him for two years of not being able to sleep properly and now he needed it. Harry was here, he wasn’t going anywhere. He could keep him safe, he could sleep now.

The next time he opened his eyes, he knew exactly where he was and remembered every detail of the previous conversation. His head definitely felt better. Harry was straight up out of his chair and looking at him again.

“Hey.” He said quietly.

Draco adopted a blank expression and weakly stuttered “W-Who are y-you?”

Those bright green eyes immediately widened and filled with anxiety.

“Draco, it’s me, Harry. You remember me?” His voice sounded quite concerned.

“H-Harry…” He said quietly, putting on his best performance. “You- you can’t mean  _ Harry Potter? _ Harry Potter here at my bedside. Merlin, I must be special! W-who am I?” He made his eyes wide and his voice small, child-like and  _ almost _ managed to get through it without cracking a smile.

“You-” The voice started out worried again and the face was studying him carefully before Harry started shaking his head and smiling too. “You, complete and utter git! Argh! You really had me there worried for a second Draco! No need to ask if you’re feeling better then?!”

Draco was laughing, like really properly laughing. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d laughed like this until- “Argh, ouch!”

A pain in his stomach and his head hit him both at once before his laughter stopped. He  _ was  _ feeling better but he was still a bit weak clearly. 

“How long was I out for this time?” He asked Harry genuinely.

“Not that long, about 3 hours.” Harry said looking at his watch. “It’s Thursday, dinner time. That’s where everyone else will be.”

“Have you really just been sitting in that chair the whole time?” Draco asked, not quite able to believe it.

“Pretty much.” Harry shrugged. “Odd trip to the bathroom here and there obviously and sometimes I walked about a bit to stretch my legs. Bill bought me my school work but, you know... haven’t really been able to concentrate on it much.”

“What about food?” Draco asked sincerely.

“Madame Pomfrey bought some water and some biscuits over every now and then but I haven’t really been that hungry.” Harry said looking at Draco. “Honestly, why are you worried about me? I’m fine, it’s  _ you _ everyone's worried about.”

Draco snorted. “You say  _ everyone _ like that’s so many people.”

“Draco,” Harry started quietly. “You have people that care about you, Blaise, Daphne, Tony, me… McGonagall’s been really worried and she’s so cross. I’ve never seen her quite like it. She's been really trying to get to the bottom of it. Professor Rosier has been worried too, she likes you and even Bill.  _ All _ the seventh years have been asking apparently, according to Bill even  _ Ron _ has been unusually quiet. They are  _ all _ worried Draco, I know they are. You have more people that care about you than you think.” 

“Hmm maybe the first couple I could believe.” Draco said quietly. “Do you think I could see Blaise and Daphne? I don’t want Blaise to blame himself or Daphne to be upset.”

“Yeh I reckon Madame Pomfrey will let them in tonight, once she’s checked you over. When she gives the go ahead though McGonagall will want to talk to you first. She’ll want to know what you remember.” Harry said gently.

Draco shook his head. “It’s no good, the last thing I remember was Defence class on Tuesday. I don’t even remember leaving it or what I said to Blaise. I’ve been trying to….” He said, trailing off slightly at the end.

Harry sighed. “I thought you’d say that, but she’ll ask anyway.”

Draco looked down at his body, he could feel it better now. He tried moving his fingers and toes, everything seemed ok. He felt achy and weak but there was nothing in particular that stood out. Then he had this bizarre memory of his left arm burning, probably a bad dream though, that happened often in his dream. 

“What actually happened to me?” He asked tentatively. “You said I was in a bad way… but how?”

Harry looked uncomfortable and squirmed a bit in his seat before taking a deep breath and answering him. “You were out cold,  _ at first _ but… well you’d been battered pretty badly. I don’t mean magic I mean the muggle way you know, beaten up. You had so many broken bones, your body was at all sorts of odd angles…” Harry looked like he might be sick but he swallowed and carried on. 

“They’ve all been healed now of course, the bones. That was relatively easy but it wasn’t pleasant, they really did a number on you. The back of your head was the worst, there was a lot of blood, you were hit heavily by something… there- there were signs of magic though…” Harry was shaking slightly and looked a bit pale again.

“Harry…” Draco said quietly. “Just tell me,  _ please _ ?” he begged.

Harry nodded and braced himself to carry on. “Your- your arm, your  _ left _ arm-” 

Draco suddenly felt sick and his right hand automatically went over to touch his left arm over the top of the bed sheets. Harry took another breath and carried on. 

“They’d cut your sleeve off and, well, they’d enlarged your forearm, you know, Engorgement charm. We think that’s what they wanted... to see, and maybe for others to see, your- your Mark… It looked like they’d tried to m-make it _ move _ too. Not sure how exactly but there were definitely signs of magic on your arm. We think they tried lots of different spells on it which may have reacted badly to each other. The trouble was... well, no one really understands the magic of the Mark but obviously it’s dark magic… It- it didn’t react well to having other spells cast on it. Your arm was huge, all swollen and your veins were all raised, and  _ black _ . The Mark was m-moving too and, well it  _ looked _ like it was somehow spreading through your arm and to the rest of your body…”

Harry looked like he was really struggling to say all of this but Draco knew he was telling him the truth and the whole story for which he was grateful. He needed to know and it didn't want anyone to sugar coat it. 

“Y-you were in a lot of pain with it a few times when you did wake. That’s what Madame Pomfrey had the most trouble with. That’s why she needed Bill and Professor Rosier, they were asking Snape’s portrait for advice a lot too and apparently he was a lot of help. They managed to stop it somehow and get it back to normal. I don’t really understand it all to be honest, but, I dunno, guess it’s over now that’s the main thing. You’re OK.” He finished quietly. 

“Oh and, er-” Harry added after a minute of silence. “Bill’s pretty sure they obliviated you, or tried to at least, only it wasn’t strong at all. It maybe didn’t really work, we can’t be too sure until you’ve been properly examined whilst awake. Maybe it just did enough to make you forget your attackers, or maybe you just forgot anyway because of the trauma, but it’s just that you were really foggy for a while. When you did wake up you didn’t make any sense at all and said a lot of weird stuff…”

Draco was still thinking it all through. They’d been after the mark, guess that was inevitable. He could have guessed that from the other attack he’d had. He didn’t really know how to process it or what he thought of it all to be honest. Was he upset, angry? No, not really. He was scared definitely, more scared than he wanted to admit. What if they tried again? He really didn’t want to go out into the castle now. 

Part of him couldn’t really blame his attackers though. They hated Death Eaters, for good reason and he was one wasn’t he? He’d tried to tell himself that he wasn’t one because it hadn’t been his choice but here he was with the Dark Mark burned into his skin. He couldn’t blame others for being repulsed by it or scared by it, he was too. The mark was the proof they’d been looking for that he had been on the wrong side of the war. He couldn’t even be angry with the attackers. If he had been on their side of the war he’d probably punish anyone with the Mark too.

“So it’s still there… it doesn’t look any different?” Draco asked quietly. He couldn’t bring himself to look. 

Harry looked at Draco softly and put his hand on top of Draco’s right hand gently. The hand that was still over his left arm. 

“I actually think it looks a bit _ better _ now than it did before this happened. I can’t be sure but that’s what I gather. That was the best they could do. They can’t get rid of it, they did try but it will always be there, Snape said so... But it’s  _ normal  _ now anyway, they treated it. It’s really faded now, I think more so than before. It’s still too, never moves. It’s also completely flat on your skin and it’s just a very pale grey, just like a muggle tattoo. The rest of your arm looks normal.” He said quietly.

“You-you’ve seen it?”

Harry nodded slowly. “Me and Blaise saw it when we found you. I’m the only one that’s seen it since, apart from Madame Pomfrey and the teachers I mentioned.”

Draco suddenly found that he couldn’t look at Harry and he shook his hand off rather more violently than he expected to. He never wanted anyone to see it, especially Harry and he’d seen it. Even if it looks better now then before it’s still there, not gone. Harry was probably just being kind anyway. 

“Draco.” Said Harry quietly. “You know it doesn’t bother me. It-it doesn’t change anything, not for me. I knew it was there and I’ve seen it before. I saw a few of them when  _ He _ was...  _ around _ you know… and I saw yours that night, on the astronomy tower. It does look better than that now. I know it’s still there, it always will be but it’s not you Draco. It’s not who you are.”

Before Draco could respond Madame Pomfrey came in fussing saying he’d heard voices and she needed to check her patient. Harry withdrew back into his chair but he didn’t go anywhere. Draco was conflicted, he was pleased Harry hadn’t left but he was also suddenly grateful to not be alone with him. Madame Pomfrey was pleased with his progress and just as Harry predicted she gave Professor McGonagall the go ahead to come and question him. Apparently she had been hovering nearby. Harry still didn't leave but he didn’t say anything either.

He told the Headmistress honestly that he couldn’t remember anything but she pressed him for any tiny details. Apparently Madame Pomfrey had said that the blow to the back of his head looked like it might have been made with a beater’s bat and she had looked at him quite poignantly when she said this. He had remembered the bathroom incident near the beginning of term. He had already wondered whether his attackers had been the same ones but he hadn’t told anyone else that and he didn’t say it to Professor McGonagall now either. He just kept saying he had no idea but he couldn’t help think she knew what was going on in his head.

Still, after a while she abandoned her attempt and she voluntarily agreed he was up to having more visitors now he was feeling better and of sound mind. Daphne came running in and practically threw herself into his arms, they’d never hugged before but somehow it felt nice. Draco knew they were friends now but he hadn’t realised how much she cared about him. Tony too seemed very relieved to see him and clapped him firmly on the shoulder smiling. Blaise however hung back and seemed very quiet. 

After engaging Daphne and Tony in conversation for a while and assuring them he was absolutely fine he asked them if he could have a quiet word with Blaise. They got up to leave but Daphne gave him a quick chaste kiss on the cheek before she went. Then the couple walked out hand in hand looking much happier than they had when they walked in. Harry got up to go too saying that he was actually pretty hungry and that he’d better check in with Ron and Hermione but he asked Draco quietly if he could come back in an hour. When Draco nodded Harry looked relieved and left as well. 

When it was just Blaise left, he didn’t speak at first but his usual calm cool exposure had shattered now the others had left. He slumped into the chair that Harry had just vacated and he was shaking, running his hand over the top of his very short black hair. 

“I’m sorry Draco.” He said quietly not looking up, his head hanging over his lap.

“Blaise stop.” Draco said firmly. “Look at me.” He demanded. Blaise reluctantly obeyed. “None of this was your fault, you couldn’t help it. You’re not my bodyguard Blaise. You knew I wanted to be alone, you were trying to be a good friend. You didn’t know this was going to happen.”

Blaise was shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have left you alone. I should have followed you, or- or made you come with me… I don’t know. I should have done something. I was just sat in the common room while it was happening!”

“Come on, don’t do this to yourself, you’re being irrational.” Draco said kindly. “You know it’s not your fault and you’d be telling me that if it was the other way round. Harry told me how worried you were and how you’ve been beating yourself up about it. You’re a good friend Blaise and I’m lucky to have you. So don’t say anything more about it ok?”

Blaise was slowly nodding his head now and Draco thought he’d got through to him. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Draco spoke again.

“Does my mother know?” He asked casually.

“No.” Blaise said simply before elaborating. “McGonagall was going to write and tell her but Harry persuaded her not to. He said  _ technically _ she didn’t have any legal obligation to inform your mother because you are of age. Then he said that it would only cause her unnecessary worry and that you wouldn’t want that. He insisted it should be your choice when you woke up whether you wanted to tell her or not and McGonagall listened to him.” He paused then added as an afterthought “Harry has a way of making people listen.”

Draco couldn’t argue with that. “Yes he does.” 

Blaise was looking at him warily. “You know... he really cares about you, Harry I mean. He was beside himself with worry, he wouldn’t leave your side. Not many people would be like that.” He said tentatively.

“Yeah well… he’s not like most people is he?” Draco said slowly. “Harry doesn't do things by halves, I guess friendship is the same. Once he’s decided your his friend he’ll do anything for you. He’s the same with the others.” He finished casually.

“Hmm maybe.” Blaise said thoughtfully and Draco still got the impression there was something that Blaise wasn’t telling him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Draco :(  
> Harry is so sweet though!
> 
> ...our boys are getting closer huh?! They care about each other even if they don't realise it yet! ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think, I love your comments and I always make sure to reply to every single one!  
> They keep me going, thank you! <3


	24. The Mystery Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco gets realised from the hospital wing but isn't ready to face the rest of the school at mealtimes yet... So Harry takes him on another night time adventure!

Draco spent the next day being fussed over by Madame Pomfrey making sure he ate and had fully recovered. He’d assured Harry he was fine and told him that he really shouldn’t miss any more lessons so for most of the day Draco was on his own but he didn’t mind that. He felt safe here and he really didn’t want to fall behind on his work, so he used the time to read through the class notes that his friends have given him when they’d visited the previous night. Mostly he used Blaise and Tony’s notes but he had to use Daphne’s for Herbology as the others didn’t do that subject. He was pleased to see that he hadn’t missed anything crucial in class that he couldn’t already do on some level even if he needed a bit of practice.

He had finally summoned the strength to look at his arm when he was alone. Despite the fact that apparently his arm had been significantly enlarged at one point he was pleased to see that the bracelet his mother gave him was still on his wrist and had survived the attack. Looking at the mark he found that Harry had been right. It was still there obviously but it had actually faded significantly. It was completely flat on his skin, not slightly raised as it had been before and it didn’t seem to have any buzz of magic about it at all. You could still make out what it was though. Others would still recognise it of course and it still made Draco feel a bit sick to look at but somehow, when Madame Pomfrey and his teachers had managed to strip out all the magic his attackers had used, they had left it better than it was before. If anything maybe he should be thanking his attackers. 

Professor McGonagall still hadn’t worked out who had attacked him and even though Draco thought he knew he didn’t say anything. According to Blaise, who visited again Friday lunchtime, Draco’s attack was all round the school and even though no one had come forward with any information it seemed like all the Slytherins blamed the Gryffindors for the attack on their former king of Snakes. Draco was touched by the loyalty of his old house but he couldn’t help but feel worried about the trouble they might cause. He just wanted the whole thing to blow over but he was doubtful that would happen.

Harry came to visit again at dinner time and shared the enormous plate of food Madame Pomfrey had got for Draco. He was slowly regaining his appetite but he couldn’t possibly eat it all by himself. Harry asked again if Draco remembered anything about his attackers and Draco half lied and said no. It would cause much more trouble to admit to Harry he had been attacked before and he thinks it was the same group. The way Harry was looking when he talked about Draco’s attackers probably meant that he would recklessly go and curse them all and get himself expelled in the process. 

Draco just didn’t want anymore trouble. He wanted it to all go away and he didn’t want Harry to have to ‘save’ him again. Although, when he remembered the look on Harry’s face and how powerful his stance had been when he dealt with Smith, the idea of seeing what he would be like dealing with the Gryffindor gang was tempting… Yet who’s to say that he would? Maybe he would still feel his Gryffindor loyalty more strongly than his friendship with Draco and Draco didn’t think he could handle that. No, best not put it to the test.

Draco just tried to distract Harry and move the discussion on, after that they mostly just chatted about classes Apparently he missed the charms lesson on non-verbally conjuring flowers which according to Harry was “a bit tricky.” Draco did a kind of half shrug and laughed a bit at Harry.

“What?” Asked Harry with a frown. “I suppose you’re going to tell me that  _ you _ can already do that?” He said ever so slightly annoyed.

“Yes I can actually, mother taught me in the summer, it was rather easy” Draco said with a mock smug grin annoying he was winding Harry up.

“Of course you’d find it easy. Hermione can obviously already do it too!” Harry said in a sulky way that was quite endearing.

Draco smiled and for a moment didn’t say anything but then something came to mind. “You conjured a lily, on Severus’ grave.” Said Draco quietly, they’d never talked about the funeral or even acknowledged their summer correspondence much.

“Yeah… I did.” Harry said quietly, not elaborating on the significance of it. “Not non-verbally though. I can do it if I mutter the spell but Hermione cast a silencing charm on me today so I couldn’t cheat and then I couldn’t do it. She cast that non-verbally too of course so no one knew she’d done it.” Harry finished grumpily.

“I don’t understand you.” Draco said amused. “You can do a  _ wandless _ non-verbal shield charm powerful enough to cover my whole bed whilst simultaneously disarming someone non-verbally  _ effortlessly _ but you can’t do the most simple nonveral charms in class. How does that work?”

Harry sighed and was running his hands through his messy hair. Draco had realised he did this when he was nervous, frustrated or embarrassed but the way he did it was usually slightly different for each emotion. This, however, seemed to be all three.

“I-I don’t know.” He said slowly, not looking at Draco. “It’s stupid. I-I’ve never been clever or good at learning spells and stuff like Hermione, like _ you _ . In class it just doesn’t always click with me, maybe I over think it or something, but when I’m out  _ there _ , in the real world and I _ need  _ to do something, it just... happens. It’s how my magic has always been. I don’t plan things but my magic just seems to do what to do when I need it to, just instinct I guess… I didn’t even know I could do a wandless shield charm like that… I was concentrating on Smith with my wand but part of me still wanted to protect you in case… I just stuck my other arm out in your direction and it just happened. Never done it before.” He said half shrugging. 

“That’s pretty impressive Harry.” Draco said honestly. Harry clearly had no idea how powerful he really was and how rare that type of magic was.

“It’s not really though.” Harry sighed. “Everyone is always  _ impressed _ with what I can do but that makes it seem like I meant to do it. How can something that I had no intention of doing be impressive? It mostly all just happens by accident.” He mumbled.

“It’s not an accident, just because you don’t consciously think or plan something doesn’t mean you didn’t make it happen.” Draco was trying to think about how he could explain this. “It means that you're so in-tune to your magic that it reacts to you and your thoughts instinctively. Frankly, it’s amazing and very rare. That sort of connection between your mind, your emotions and your magical core... It’s much more impressive than being able to learn something from a spell book slightly quicker than your other classmates. Merlin Harry, the real life implications for magic as strong as that, the things you could do, the things you _ have  _ done...”

“Yeah… so apparently I can vanquish Dark Lords but I can’t pass my N.E.W.T.S.” Harry scoffed.

“Well, when you put it like that…” Draco smiled.

Suddenly they were both laughing at the ridiculousness of it and laughing with Harry felt like the best thing in the world.

“You missed a good defence lesson today though, Patronuses! They’re cool huh?” Harry inquired casually.

Draco inwardly sighed and just like that his smile was gone. He had not forgotten what today’s DADA lesson would be and he found himself actually pleased to have a very good excuse not to go. He had been hoping that it wouldn’t come up. He could sense the question in Harry’s head that he hadn’t asked but wanted to- ‘ _ Can you do one?’ _ To which the answer would obviously be no…

Harry was looking at Draco a bit weirdly but thankfully he seemed to know not to ask and just carried on talking casually.

“Bill’s teaching a few of us how to send messages with them you know? Hermione will probably have it mastered by tomorrow but I reckon I could get there soon too. That would be cool wouldn’t it? Could send my stag to you with a message!” Harry was smiling excitedly.

“Yes, very  _ cool _ .” Draco said, not quite being able to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. 

After that he’d made his excuses to Harry saying that he was tired and still needed more rest if he was ever going to get Madame Pomfrey to release him. Harry seemed slightly disappointed about having to leave but he didn’t push the matter and said he would let Draco rest. 

Later on that evening Blaise, Daphne, Tony and Harry all came back to sit with him for a bit before bed. Draco didn’t do much talking and neither did Harry but they sat and listened to Daphne and Tony chatting away and Blaise joined in with his dry witty comments every now and then. It was nice. Draco had never had a group of friends like this before. He’d never truly cared for his Slytherin gang before but it struck him now that he never much wanted to keep this new group of friends. Draco had a rare moment of not worrying about anything as he just closed his eyes and revelled in the fact that he had these four people here who cared about him and who he could be himself with. He hadn’t planned on drifting to sleep but it just happened and the next thing he knew it was Saturday morning. 

  
  


When it was time to leave the hospital wing that weekend Draco suddenly felt really nervous and wondered whether he could feign some more symptoms so he could stay in. He kind of missed his own bed in the dorm, it was more cosy than the big open space of the hospital wing but this room had been his little bubble away from the rest of the school for a little while. He definitely slept better in the hospital wing too for some reason, just felt like he had less to worry about here. He didn’t like the idea of seeing any of the other students around either. At least he had a couple of days before class. Maybe he could just hide out in the seventh year common room until then and hope the rest of the school ignored him when it was time to venture back out.

He thought maybe just Blaise could come and get him from the hospital wing but to his surprise Tony, Daphne and Harry came too. His new entourage were suddenly very protective of him as they walked through the school surrounding him on all sides and glaring at anyone that so much as looked at Draco. Although there was part of him that felt weak needing this protection, he also couldn’t help but feel warm that they cared about him that much to provide it. Sure, he was used to having his Slytherin gang around him for protection but they did that out of fear, duty and for their own benefit. These guys were doing it because they wanted to and because they were genuinely worried about him. 

Harry left when they got to the common room saying that he wanted to spend some time with his other friends. Draco felt a mild stab of jealousy again but he knew it was stupid. Harry had spent so much time with him this week at the hospital and was probably getting an earful from Weasley about it. It felt good to know that when Draco had needed him Harry had put him first but rationally he knew that Harry had other friends too that he needed to spend time with even if part of him didn’t like it. 

The others that were in the common room at the time rushed over to Draco which took him very much by surprise. He knew he was on reasonable terms with them all now (apart from Weasley) but he didn’t think this meant they would actually show any level of care towards him. They all started talking at once asking if he was ok and saying they would get the ones that did this to him. He found it all quite overwhelming to be honest and felt the sudden need to run back to the hospital wing. Fortunately Blaise came to his rescue once again saying that they’re concern was touching but that Draco still needed rest and could they please just back off a bit and allow him some space. 

They listened immediately, Blaise had a way of commanding a room and getting people to listen when he wanted them too, maybe because he was quiet most of the time that when he did have something to say people knew it was important. Then Draco spent the rest of the day lounging on the soft chairs by the fireplace accompanied by various small groups of people, or sometimes just Blaise. They worked, they played chess, they chatted. It was very relaxing. 

Draco didn’t go to the Great Hall for lunch, he took the opportunity of a quiet room to write to his mother. He chose not to tell her about his hospital visit, he really didn’t want to worry her. He just spoke about his new friends, gave her the relationship gossip which he knew she would appreciate and caught her up on what he’d been studying. He even casually mentioned to her that he’s been spending a bit of time with Harry (although he called him Potter still in his letter). He hadn’t mentioned their new friendship to his mother, he wasn’t sure why but he just didn’t want to make a big deal about it. He just said that they’d formed a sort of truce and that they weren’t causing any trouble for each other. 

The others came back after lunch and they spent the afternoon in a very similar fashion to the morning. Draco asked Blaise and Daphne about the previous day’s DADA lesson feeling guilty for not worrying about how they would cope being unable to form patronuses in front of the class. Blaise admitted that he’d been a little worried about it but he said that Professor Weasley had already foreseen this and had handled it in a sensitive manner. Apparently he’d had a quiet word with Harry about teaching Blaise and Daphne at the back whilst he distracted the rest at the front with his own patronus, demonstrating how to make them deliver messages. Blaise was pretty hard to impress and rarely gave anyone any praise unless he meant it so Draco was surprised to hear him say that Harry actually made a very good tutor. 

Daphne had struggled a little with it but Harry had encouraged her saying it took time and that she would get there. By the end of the lesson Blaise had apparently managed to make a significant amount of white wispy smoke shoot out of his wand it had started forming a shape but it was hard to tell exactly what sort of animal it was going to be before it disappeared. This led to Draco teasing Blaise about what sort of animal it could be which was very entertaining. Draco finally decided that Blaise would probably be a peacock strutting around and showing off his good looks. This resulted in Blaise threatening to put Draco back in hospital again and said he wouldn’t visit him this time. 

Draco was quiet after this though as he was reflecting on what sort of animal his would be. Part of him was worried that even if he ever managed to produce one which was unlikely it would probably be a bloody flobberworm or something equally humiliating. They were supposed to represent the innermost parts of your character but Draco wasn’t really sure who he was anymore and he didn’t like the idea of revealing his character to the whole class even if he could do it Hopefully they wouldn’t come up again, but then there was part of Draco that did really want to learn how to do it, he didn’t like the idea of others being able to do something that he couldn’t do. He pushed it out of his mind for now. 

When it was time for dinner Draco argued with the others when they said he really should go down having skipped lunch but he just wasn’t ready to face the rest of the school yet. He stubbornly said that Madame Pomfrey had fed him up so much in the last few days that he was still absolutely stuffed and worried his slim figure would suffer if he had anymore. Blaise gave him a bit of a knowing look but he reluctantly let it go. 

By the end of the day Draco was actually quite hungry as he’d been too anxious to eat any of the food in the hospital wing that morning so he hadn’t actually eaten all day but he would cope. He still had his shower early and got ready to bed in private like he always did but when he relaxed on his bed after he got a book out and left his bedside curtains open for a bit. A little while later Harry came in and he got himself dressed ready for bed without seeming to care if Draco was there or not. Draco had heard him get undressed and dressed plenty of times when he’d been lying in bed with the curtains drawn but he was surprised that Harry did it in the room where Draco could see if he wanted to. Not that he wanted to of course... but the idea of it was just there, lingering in his brain for some reason. He didn’t look at all he just carried on reading like nothing was happening. 

Once he knew Harry was safely in his pyjamas and under his own covers Draco spoke up.

“Where’s Tony?” Draco asked. “He’s not usually later to bed than you are.”

Harry did a little embarrassed half smile. 

“Well he said he was just  _ saying goodnight _ to Daphne but, erm, well I think he might be a while cos I happen to know that Ron and Hermione are off enjoying some, er, private time of their own and I saw Ernie and Hannah sneaking off somewhere too so, erm, yeah… I’m  _ fairly  _ confident that Daphne is the only one in her dorm at the moment.” 

Draco couldn’t help notice Harry was a little flushed at the thought of what his friends might be up to and it amused Draco somewhat. Draco happened to still be a virgin as he actually viewed it as a bit of a personal thing and didn’t want to just give it to  _ anybody  _ plus he didn’t trust people that easily, but he definitely wasn’t a prude. He’d been around Blaise enough to learn everything he needed to do about sex and he had no problems discussing it. Blaise had pretty much done everything possible in the bedroom department. He never boasted openly about it but he always told Draco and Draco never got embarrassed hearing it like he thought Harry probably would looking at him now. 

“Ah I see. I kept meaning to ask Blaise how far those two had got in their relationship but I guess now I don’t need to.” After a while he added “although I might ask him anyway, details are always fun.” Draco was smiling even more now at Harry’s expression as he had obviously found something else he could use to his advantage to wind Harry up.

“Why would Blaise know? And why on earth would you want details?” Harry asked, screwing up his nose.

“Because Prudish Potter, Blaise always knows these things and are you telling me that you don’t know what Granger and the red head get up to? Didn’t you get up to these things with a red headed friend of your own?” He said with raised eyebrows enjoying himself far too much.

Harry’s cheeks were flushed in the most adorable, no not  _ adorable _ … just in a  _ funny  _ way and he was running his hand through his mop of thick black hair again and he was refusing to meet Draco’s eye.

“No I definitely do not want to know what they get up to but that doesn’t make me a prude, I just…” He trailed off.

“Sure, Potter, whatever you say” Draco said in his new mock snarly voice he used when he was teasing Harry which mimicked his old scornful voice but just with a touch more warmth. 

Just then his stomach growled loudly in the most undignified way and he was a bit embarrassed by it. Harry turned to look in his direction which made it even worse but there was a tone of care in his voice when he spoke.

“I didn’t see you at lunch or dinner today.” He said casually.

“No, I wasn’t hungry.” Draco lied.

“But you are now.” Harry pointed out.

“A bit but I can cope until breakfast.” Draco shrugged.

Harry sighed and then got up out of his bed. “Come with me.”

Draco frowned at him. “Why would I do that? Where are we going?”

“Come on Malfoy, it would hardly be your first last night excursion with me.” Harry said teasingly. “Do you not trust me yet?”

It was Draco’s turn to sigh. “Fine, I’ll come. I just can’t see why you can’t tell me where we're going.”

“It’s a surprise!” Said Harry brightly.

“I hate surprises.” Draco mumbled, then a bit louder he said “Won’t Tony wonder where we are when he eventually drags himself to bed?”

Harry shrugged. “Pretty sure he already knows we’re not always in the dorm at night, he’s not stupid.”

“Hmm I suppose so actually I just never thought about it before, I wonder what he thinks we get up to.” Draco thought out loud casually not really caring. 

Harry’s face flushed again as Draco realised the possibility of what he'd said.

“Merlin, you don’t think, er, he thinks… that we, er, that…” He stuttered out incoherently. 

Draco smiled having succeeded once again in embarrassing Harry. “Relax Potter, you said it yourself, he’s not stupid, he knows I would never drop my standards that low.” He teased.

“Right, er, yeah… anyway let’s go.” Harry said awkwardly as he quickly checked his magic map. “Er, Ron and Hermione are, er, borrowing the cloak tonight” Harry said as he flushed again. “But we should be ok, there’s no teachers around where we’re going.”

Draco leaned over his shoulder to scan the map. “Sweet Circe Harry this map is really amazing. Look there’s Macmillan and Bones in a disused classroom, you could spy on anyone! Who’s Blaise with tonight?” He said looking over the map again.

Harry snatched the map away from Draco and tucked it into his pocket. “Draco! I don’t use it for that…!” He said in a half shocked, half embarrassed way.

“Sure you don’t Potter!” Draco said, winking at him.

Harry didn’t respond but he walked out the door quietly leaving Draco to follow. Harry led him cautiously down through the castle stopping to look at the map every so often, it was past midnight now so even though they ‘didn’t officially have a curfew’ they knew that the teachers wouldn't take too kindly to them wandering around outside their dorms even though they were of age. They were heading in the direction of the Great Hall but instead of going through the main big double doors, Harry took a small door and the end of the entrance hall that Draco had never noticed before. They went down a narrow staircase that led out to a much broader stone corridor with lots of paintings of food on the wall but the corridor didn’t seem to lead anywhere. Maybe it was just a weird art gallery.

“Harry, what is this?” Draco asked in wonder looking around.

He thought, being a Slytherin he knew the basements pretty well but he’d never been to this area before. Harry was smiling mischievously, it was one of his best smiles. He walked over to a larger painting of a fruit bowl at the end of the corridor and just stood by it for a moment. Draco followed and looked at the painting.

“You brought me here to look at a painting of a bowl of fruit because I’m hungry?” Draco said, confused. 

“Tickle the pear.” Harry said with a grin.

“Excuse me?” Draco raised an eyebrow at him.

“You heard me, go on!” Harry said giving him a playful nudge closer to the painting.

“Potter, I’m not falling for this weird trick you’re playing on me.” Draco said with his arms crossed. 

“You still don’t trust me?!” Harry asked with a raised eyebrow of his own. “Fine!” He huffed in mock annoyance. “No food for you then, shame too cos it would have been sooo good.” He went to walk back to the staircase.

“Wait.” Draco called out and Harry turned back with a smile. Draco sighed, he did actually trust Harry weirdly enough even though he could not understand this particular request. “I’d better not regret this Potter!” He said in warning as he reached out to tickle the pear feeling foolish.

Then he gave a curious look as the pear actually giggled and turned into a green door handle. He looked back at Harry in questioning amusement. Harry gave an encouraging nod towards what Draco now assumed was a door. Draco sighed.He really didn’t like surprises and he never did anything unless he was pretty sure what the outcome would be but here he was trusting Harry-bloody-Potter and going through a mystery door with no way of knowing where it would lead and what he would find. 

When he opened the door he was immediately surrounded with strange looking things with big eyes and pointy ears. Of course he was used to house elves but he’d never seen so many at once. They were looking at him but they were all over Harry, all talking at once.

“Master Harry came to visit us like he said he would.”

“How is Master Harry?”

“Master Harry Potter is here”

“What can we be doing for Harry Potter sir?”

He recognised Kreacher amongst them but there was another one that spoke to Harry that he vaguely recognised but he wasn’t sure where from. 

“Master Harry is back. It is good to see Master Harry sir, and Master Harry is bringing someone else to see us.”

“Er yeah, hi Kreacher, hi Winky, hi everyone. This is my friend Draco.”

In unison several house elves were bowing to him and saying hello to “Master Draco” and then Harry was speaking again.

“So, er, Draco is kind of like me, he, er, doesn’t always like going to the Great Hall for meals. Do you reckon that if he ever needed to, he could come down here, even without me and maybe you guys could fix him something, if it wasn’t too much trouble?” Harry said to the house elves in his usual awkward manner. 

Several heads were nodding and Winky spoke again.

“Of course Master Harry. We be happy to be looking after any friend of Harry Potter’s, anytime sir.” She said the last bit at Draco who was still too stunned to say anything but was smiling. 

“What will Master Harry and Master Draco be wanting now? Kreacher will fetch it.” Said Harry’s elf who Draco knew quite well by now as he often got them hot cocoa this time of night.

Harry turned to Draco.

“You're the one that’s hungry? What do you fancy?” He asked.

“What, anything?!” Draco said in surprise.

“Anything Master Draco sir.” several of the house elves answered in unison.

“Well, I’m not sure to be honest I-” 

“You like Italian food right? That’s your favourite?” Harry interrupted. 

“Yes...but-”

Harry cut him off again. “Kreacher you know what to get, same as I taught you please!”

Kreacher bowed politely but went off grumbling something about muggle food.

A few of the other house elves were already getting a basket and putting all sorts into it at quite a pace. Kreacher then came back after a few minutes with a flat square box of something floating in front of him and it went into the basket too.

“Thanks everyone, you’re the best!” Harry called out as all the house elves were bowing once more and saying their goodbyes and assuring them that they could come back anytime.

Once they returned to the corridor outside and the mystery door handle had turned back into a pear, Draco turned to Harry who had a massive grin on his face.

“Do I even want to ask how you know where the kitchens are and why you’re best friends with all the house elves?”

“Fre- oh, er yeah… the twins…” Harry trailed off and his smile had vanished now, he looked painfully sad.

Draco suddenly realised why and felt a bit sad on Harry’s behalf. He thought maybe the best thing to do would be to distract him.

“So are we going to go eat this somewhere?” He asked as his stomach grumbled again.

“Oh yeah!” Harry said full of smiles once again. “Come on let’s go to our usual spot.”

Harry checked the map once more and they made their way up to the Astronomy Tower, they had to take the long route to avoid Mrs Norris but before too long they were sitting in their usual spots on the floor with the picnic basket between them. They started taking out all sorts of breads, cold meats, cheeses and pastries.

“Merlin Harry this is…” Draco began in wonder.

“Amazing?” Harry offered.

“Yeah, it really is!” Draco was shaking his head in disbelief, then he saw the opened box. 

“Are you going to show me what you had Kreacher make then?” He asked.

“You’ll love it. Well… at least I hope you will!” Harry said as he took the large flat square box and lifted the lid.

Draco frowned at what he saw. It looked like some sort of circular bread but it had tomato sauce and cheese on top. He’d never seen anything like it before and it looked very messy to eat.

“What on earth is that?” He asked, turning his nose up.

“Oh come on! You said you love Italian food but you’ve never seen pizza?” Harry asked, clearly amused.

“Pizza? Is that some kind of weird muggle food? I can assure you we never had that in our villa. Are you sure it’s Italian?” Draco was sceptical.

“Yes it definitely is! It’s like one of the most Italian things ever! Maybe it’s more of a muggle thing though and the Italian wizards don’t have it. I don’t know. Growing up, my cousin used to demand it all the time and it smelt so good. I’ve always wanted to know what it tastes like so I went to a muggle pizza place several times this summer and then I learnt how to make it with Kreacher.”

“There are so many things you said that I need clarification on Harry.” Draco said. “I think this is most definitely a muggle thing. I like proper Italian food that can be eaten with a fork. Why were you going to muggle places this summer, is the food at the Weasleys really that bad? And why was Kreacher with you, I thought he lived here? Also, you mean you were actually cooking with him? And how come you’ve never tasted this before this summer if your cousin used to get it all the time, you lived with him right? Your muggle relatives I assume?”

“Erm, yeh that’s a lot of questions Draco. Eat and I’ll try and answer some of them.” He held the box out to Draco.

Draco could see that the weird circular thing was cut into sort of triangles but he had no idea what to do with it.

“How exactly am I supposed to eat that?” He asked seriously.

“What?! You serious?!” Harry laughed. “With your hands! Look it’s easy.” He took a triangle piece and pulled it towards his mouth but a great long stringy bit of cheese caught on his chin. As he took a bite he got some tomato sauce on the side of his cheek.

“That is disgusting. How can you use your hands to eat something that has sauce on it? There is stringy cheese everywhere and it bends as you pick it up! That’s really not very well thought out, muggles are really stupid.” Draco said stubbornly.

“Jus’ try it!” Harry said with his mouth still half full.

Part of Draco thought he should be appalled by Harry’s food choices and eating habits, it was just so different from what he knew. But another part of him was oddly charmed by Harry messily eating weird muggle food in his hooded jumper thing and flannel pyjama bottoms at one o’clock in the morning. He was again struck by how special it was to see Harry this ‘normal’ in the way that not many others have, this is what he always wanted deep down. He wanted this moment with Harry so he cautiously reached out and took a slice of this strange food.

He took a bite and managed to make less of a mess than Harry even though there was still a bit of stringy cheese. He found that it was surprisingly good, the crunch of the crust, the rich tomato sauce, the creamy tangy cheese and the hint of basil all went well together. Harry was watching him with eagerness. Draco finished his slice and gave a little half shrug and a smile.

“I still don’t really like eating things with my hands but I will admit it does taste good. Come on then I’ll eat, you talk.” Draco prompted.

“Right, well, I’d thought I’d already said but maybe I didn’t. I was at the Burrow, at first but after- after Fred… and the whole thing with Ginny… it just felt difficult to be there. Molly took it hard I think and I feel guilty about that. She said I’d always be family and I do know that, that’s how I see all of them, they are my family but sometimes I do still feel like an outsider. I know I’m lucky to have the surrogate family I have but I still don’t really have any real family and that’s hard sometimes. I think we  _ all  _ just wanted it to be official, you know? Like it would be if I married Ginny then I would  _ really _ be family. Part of me wanted it too in a way and that’s definitely what Ron wanted and we argued about it a bit he thought me and Ginny could make it work but it’s just not that simple. Marrying Ginny or anyone really at the moment is just crazy to think about now to be honest and it felt like once again the path for my life was already decided for me.” Harry was talking in that strange quiet voice again that hid some sadness. 

“Anyway, I didn’t really have anywhere else to go so I moved into the Black house so I guess I live there now with Kreacher. Even though I kind of hate it there it is nice to have my own space. I, er, offered him freedom but he was so upset that I took it back. I just said that I only wanted him to work for me if he actually wanted to, not by force but he was adamant that he would help me wherever I was. I offered to pay him for his work but he got cross about that too so I gave up.” 

Harry looked like he wanted to say something else too but he was struggling how, he started quietly not looking at Draco.

“My, er, muggle relatives, that’s not home... it never has been. I don’t really want to talk about tonight though if that’s OK. I will... another night. I trust you, it's just not something I talk about it with anyone really.”

Draco had already suspected there was something deeper going on with Harry’s family and he knew there were things Harry was still keeping from him but he actually didn’t mind too much. Somehow he knew that Harry would tell him eventually, he believed him and respected his privacy. There was a pang of sadness in his chest though at the thought that maybe Harry’s childhood hadn’t been a happy one.

“Of course Harry” He said sincerely “I get that, you can tell me in your own time.”

“Thanks Draco.” Harry said quietly. Then he spoke up a bit louder. “So I think those multiple questions count as yours tonight. My turn.”

“Fair enough.”

“I- er, I think I know why you were so upset after Defence on Tuesday, why you went off to be alone. I brought it up yesterday too and I could see something… it’s ‘cos of the patronuses right? You can’t do one and you thought the rest of the class could?” He asked gently with no hint of judgement. 

Draco didn’t want to admit it really but this was their safe space to be honest so he just sighed and gave a slow nod in response. 

“Ok…” Harry said slowly. “Well, I get that, I really do but I just don’t like to think of you not being able to do one and feeling rubbish because of it. I showed Blaise and Daphne… I could teach you too you know? Outside of class, here if you like? You can do it, I know you can.”

“I’m not some charity case that needs your help Potter.” Draco snapped defensively.

“I know that'' Harry said quickly “and I know your pride might get in the way of accepting help but I was thinking maybe you could help me too? See it’s not charity, it’s all self-serving from my part.” He joked helpfully.

“Help you with what?” Draco asked cautiously but a little more intrigued.

“You said it yourself yesterday, I’m useless in class and it would be highly embarrassing if the bloody ‘Chosen One’ failed his N.E.W.T.S I can picture the headline now!”

“Yes that would be embarrassing indeed.” Draco pointed out teasingly.

“So help me? You’re amazing with non-verbal magic, I’ve seen you, it’s so effortless for you.” 

“Well flattery will get you far Potter so keep that up and we have a deal, even if tutoring you might be like pulling my own hair out.” Draco said in a mock scornful voice. 

“Well Bill said that we’re going to revisit them at the start of next term and he’s going to teach us all how to do the voice thingy. I think he’s giving people the time to practise so they can all get corporeal forms by then so we have time. We’ll get yours!” Harry said brightly. 

Draco was still sceptical but he wanted to try and it was an excuse to spend more time with Harry.

“Ok Harry, if you say so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love the fluffy little moments like Harry and Draco eating pizza together in their PJ's in the middle of the night!  
> Hope you do too?!
> 
> Also there was a tiny bit of flirty in here maybe... even if they didn't realise it! ;)
> 
> If you like my work or even if you don't but have something constructive to say then please leave a comment, I love knowing what you think!  
> Thanks!


	25. The last on the list

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco recovers from his attack and gets back into the school routine.  
> He tries to cross the last person off his list of apologies and then an opportunity presents itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments so far! I love them!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know :)
> 
> *Trigger warning: very slight mention of a suicidal thought in Draco's speech towards the end of the chapter

Sunday passed in a very similar way. Draco took another trip to the kitchens under the invisibility cloak that Harry had lent him so he could still avoid the rest of the school. He still had mixed, complicated feelings about his attack. Part of him was weirdly grateful that it had given him time out in the hospital wing, time to work on his patronus with Harry separately away from the class and it had even helped make his mark look and feel better on his skin. However, the other part of him was horrified and the state he’d apparently been in. Even though broken bones could be mended easily, he’d had a lot of them and a lot of bruising. The idea of being beaten up like that the muggle way was almost scarier than magic to him. Somehow it felt more personal.

The other thing that he felt conflicted about was that he still couldn’t remember it. True, that was probably a good thing. McGonagall was still after information and he was able to truthfully tell her he couldn’t remember his attackers even though he still remembered the first attack just fine and suspected it might be the same people. He didn’t want to remember, he could do without picturing the details but the fact he’d been so completely out of it made him feel very vulnerable and weak. They could have done anything they’d wanted to him and he would have been completely powerless to stop them. That sickened him, there was nothing he hated more than feeling vulnerable and out of control.

Monday morning soon came though and he knew he couldn’t hide away anymore. He genuinely didn’t want to miss anymore classes, especially potions, not when he was making progress and doing well with his work. He woke up early as he usually did but he was in no hurry to get up so by the time he made his way to the common room it was later than usual and his roommates had already gone. He expected Blaise and probably Daphne and Tony would be waiting for him but he was very surprised to find the entire group of seventh years waiting for him. 

They all looked at him when he came though in a fierce and protective sort of way. Neville was standing at the front as if leading them again and Harry was in the middle of the group giving Draco a sort of sheepish ‘sorry-not-sorry’ kind of look. Clearly his idea then which Neville had obviously taken seriously. Daphne was giving him and everyone else a warm smile, she really had become nicer this year and seemed more loving to everyone, Tony was good for her. Blaise moved automatically to his side and gave him a determined sort of nod. For a second no one moved or said anything until Weasley spoke up.

“Right, can we actually go to breakfast now that we have the git? Some of us are hungry!”

There was something slightly different in his tone though, it was more comedic than malicious. A few people laughed, Hermione though elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

“Yeh come on then.” Neville said to the group and then gave a bit of a grin to Draco. “No one is going to mess with us!” 

With that odd declaration the group of misfits that somehow were actually pretty close now all went down to breakfast together as a pack. Their group seemed to move people out of the way effortlessly as they walked the halls, people were looking at them in awe and moved aside quickly. He was amongst war heros after all. Draco went to sit in his usual spot at breakfast and Blaise was still by his side when Neville intervened.

“Nope come on! We can’t have the snakes together again! Everyone has to sit with someone from a different old house, we’re setting a real example today.” He said cheerfully and people just seemed to naturally listen to Neville again.

Neville himself sat next to Draco and to his surprise Hermione came to sit on his other side. Daphne was next to her then Tony. Blaise sat opposite him so he was still close and Harry was next to him with Ernie. The other girls sat amongst Weasley, Dean, Terry and Michael. 

McGonagall gave them all a very approving smile when she passed and unusually she addressed the whole school before breakfast today. She gave them all a very strong warning about using magic in the corridors, physically attacking students and told them all that bullying would not be tolerated under any circumstances. She highlighted how all the seventh years were getting along in their united house and encouraged the rest of the school to follow by example. Somehow, judging by the looks amongst some of the Slytherins and the Gryffindors were giving each other, Draco didn’t think the Headmistress’ words had sunk in yet.

Sure enough it wasn’t the only warning that McGonagall had to give that week. The atmosphere within the school was pretty tense. The lions and the snakes were not getting along at all. Rumours that Gryffindors had been behind the attack on Draco spread even though he did nothing to help spread them. Although he did nothing to stop them either he just wanted the whole thing to go away. 

To make matters worse, the first quidditch match of the year was coming up and, like always, it would be Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Every year around this time their house rivalry would raise its ugly head but this year it was worse than ever despite McGonagall’s best efforts to unite the houses. She had even threatened to cancel quidditch all together if the houses did not sort themselves out. That did help calm matters somewhat and now the quidditch captains were helping their head of houses Professor Weasley and Professor Rosier to keep the peace.

The only good thing about all this for Draco was when the whole houses were at each other’s throats he was able to sneak around a bit more in his purple robes unnoticed. It meant that he wasn’t really a target anymore. One morning after breakfast, Professor McGonagall called him up to the teacher’s table and gave him a very short note that had been sent via owl that morning. No doubt the person who sent it hadn’t realised that all Draco’s post went through the headmistress but it wasn’t signed anyway. It was only two lines long and the writing was pretty generic. 

It just said:  _ ‘I’m really sorry. I didn’t know it was going to go that far, it got a bit out of control. We won’t bother you again. I am glad you’re OK.’ _

Draco didn’t really feel anything when he read it. He supposed he should feel relieved that they apparently weren’t going to bother him again but he could hardly trust this anonymous person’s word. He thought maybe he should feel pleased that at least one of his attackers felt remorse too but he didn’t really. He didn’t say anything either he just shrugged and handed the note back to Professor McGonagall. She asked if he recognised the handwriting at all but he honestly didn’t. She said she was going to keep the note and try and work out who it was from and he knew he couldn’t stop her so he simply asked if he was allowed to go to class now. She let him go and that was that.

Professor Weasley had even come to him for a chat too one day to ask if the Gryffindors were indeed behind the attack. After all, he had witnessed the end of the first attack which Draco was sure he’d told McGonagall about by now. Draco said honestly though that he really didn’t remember so there wasn’t really anything left to say. Bill, as he insisted on being called, still said that he was keeping a very close eye on the students in question and promised Draco that he would ‘get his house in order’. There wasn’t really anyway any of the teachers could do without proof though.

Draco had been worried that the redheaded Professor had told Harry what he knew because Harry was still asking Draco if the Gryffindors were involved somehow and actually mentioned the Gryffindor beaters in particular. But then Harry never mentioned the first attack and he remembered that Madam Pomfrey had told Harry his head injury looked like it had been from a beaters bat. After that Draco made up his mind that Bill hadn’t told Harry anything.

Although there was a side of Draco that liked being Harry getting all riled up in his defence he really didn’t want there to be any more trouble so he begged Harry to just let it go. After about the fourth conversation they had on the matter, Harry did stop asking but he did stick closely by Draco in the corridors and was watching the packs of lions that passed them very closely. .

In fact, so did the rest of the seventh year students. They carried on their bodyguard duties for Draco all week. They came down together for breakfast every morning now and then seemed to just escort Draco to all his classes, those of them who were doing that subject anyway. Everywhere he went now he was surrounded not only by Blaise, Daphne and Tony but also by Harry, Neville and Ernie. Even Micheal, Terry and Dean and the girls in the group who had never really spoken to Draco before were joining in on the act. 

Hermione was cautiously shadowing the group too, usually walking a little bit behind them on her way too and from Arithmancy and Ancient Runes as they had a smaller class size but she seemed to rely on the others for the rest of Draco’s lessons. Weasley would join if it was ‘a whole big group thing’ but he never actually spoke to Draco properly. Mind you not speaking to or about him was an improvement on what he’d been like before though. He seemed to accept that if everyone else wanted to be nice to Draco then he couldn’t stop them and he wasn’t going out of his way to make trouble for him. Harry said that Weasley had stopped moaning to him about his friendship with Draco too. Apparently he’d even mumbled that no one deserved to be attacked like that “not even Malfoy”.

Draco’s new entourage was in equal parts annoying and helpful. He couldn’t deny that he did feel much safer traveling in a pack with them, no one seemed to mess with the other seventh year students and it did allow him to have a relatively stress free week where he could just focus on school. He also did feel a certain amount of gratitude towards his classmates, the fact that they cared enough to worry about him and protect him meant a huge deal to him. He didn’t understand it but he was happy about it nonetheless. However it did mean that the only time he had a moment to himself was when he retired to bed early before his roommates came in.

Those moments were precious to him, no once bothered him there and he did feel safe in his own bed. It was the time of day where he could properly think and process what had happened that particular day alone. However, it wasn’t the only time he could properly relax. He was still having night time chats with Harry up on the Astronomy tower and those were actually pretty peaceful too.

They would often just sit in a comfortable silence and look out on the night sky. Of course they did still end up chatting about something or other every night too. Sometimes it was just lighthearted stuff from school like replaying quidditch watches they’d had or more ‘get to you know’ types questions. Other times it was deeper stuff from the war. They’d spoken about the battle a lot and Draco had heard about most of it from Harry’s point of view now. Why they’d come to Hogwarts in the first place and how they’d managed to destroy another three horcruxes in the process.

Draco was actually impressed that Weasley had been able to get into the chamber of secrets with Granger and she had destroyed another one with a basilisk fang. Most people had witnessed Neville cutting Nagini’s head off of course and when those who weren’t there had heard about it by now. Draco hadn’t realised the significance of it before now though. It had been painful to revisit their shared time in the Room of Requirement where Vincent had died. It was strange though to realise that although his last act had almost killed Draco and the others, Vincent had actually been able to destroy a horcrux in the process.

They had also spent their time up on the Astronomy tower at night practicing spells. Draco had finally taught Harry to conjure flowers completely non-verbally. Harry said that he made a much better teacher than Flitwick and Hermione. Draco couldn’t help but smile with pride when Harry managed it perfectly in class the next day and Hermione had looked at him slightly surprised. Harry said that Draco was firm but patient and just had a way of explaining things to Harry that made him “get it”. Draco wasn’t quite sure what to make of that but he was pleased. He even helped Harry with some non-verbal transfiguration too using a lot of the techniques that his mother used on him this summer. Turned out she had been quite a good teacher and her methods seemed to work on Harry too.

In return Harry was trying to teach Draco how to conjure a patronus. Harry was actually quite a good teacher too and he described the process of really feeling happy and filling yourself up with the emotion as you conjure rather than just picturing a memory like Draco had been doing before. Draco could understand what Harry meant and the method did kind of work. The trouble was Draco couldn’t really remember what it felt to be truly completely happy. In fact, he was not sure he’d ever known the feeling.

He was producing a thin white wispy smoke from his wand. It started tiny and didn’t hold for long. It was very slowly getting thicker and more powerful but had yet to form any resemblance of a solid figure. Draco was frustrated that his progress was slow but Harry seemed really encouraged. Apparently it did take him quite a long time with lots of attempts but Draco pointed out that he had been thirteen. Draco, at eighteen, thought he should be able to get the hang of it quicker than he was. 

Other than that Draco just focused on his school work making sure he kept up to date with it all. He was actually pleased he was taking so many classes so he had less free time to worry about and more work to keep himself busy. Transfiguration and charms both came with lots of homework but they weren’t too difficult so that was fine. The practical aspects Draco could mostly already do. 

Ancient runes was a bit boring to be honest and the work was time consuming. He was half regretting taking it but then he didn’t have anything better to do with his time so spending hours pouring over old books to interpret different symbols gave him something to do. Potions was brilliant and Draco absolutely loved the work he was doing in creating a brand new potion. He often did extra work in this subject and had a mini library of advanced potions books by his bed for light nighttime reading. Arithmancy was definitely the hardest subject and Draco did struggle a little with some of the work but it wasn’t enough to be stressful. 

Herbology was the subject that had the least amount of homework which was nice and Draco found himself enjoying the practical work. There was something therapeutic about gardening. He enjoyed spending time with Daphne on her own and they worked well together at their station. Professor Sprout didn’t mind them chatting either as long as they got their work done. She seemed to be much more lenient with them now than she had been in their younger years.

Thursday afternoon though Draco found himself only half listening to Daphne’s gossip as he was watching Weasley working alongside Harry on the bench opposite. He had been planning to try and talk to him at the end of the lesson today. So far he had spoken to everyone on his list apart from Weasley and he was the only one left to apologise too. Part of Draco also thought that Weasley should be apologising to him too, he hadn’t exactly gone out of his way to welcome Draco back to Hogwarts this year. 

However, he knew that his behavior towards the Weasley family in general hadn’t been very friendly over the years. He had said a lot of horrible stuff to this Weasleys in particular too about his family which he felt pretty guilty about now. The Weasley family had really proven themselves and had been instrumental to the war effort. They’d basically made up half the order and it was sad that not all of them had made it out alive. He was determined to at least apologise to Weasley for his part in their feud and offer some sort of condolences for his loss. If Weasley didn’t accept it then that was his problem but at least Draco could say he’d tried.

The downside of his entourage of bodyguards between classes this week meant that he hadn't had the chance to try and get Weasley alone. He wasn’t even sure how to go about that task anyway but at least the outside environment of this lesson left them a lot more space to try and pull him to one side. Hopefully Harry would see and try and help. He’d already told Daphne of his plan and she said she would stay with him. That way he would at least have her to walk back to the castle with if Weasley stormed off but he imagined that Harry would stick around too.

Although looking at Weasley now, today might not be the best day. He seemed to be annoyed about something and was whispering furiously to Harry. Harry was looking frustrated and was ruffling his hair practically pulling it out. Towards the end of the lesson Weasley was already surreptitiously packing away his equipment. That meant that as soon as Professor Sprout announced the end of the class he was walking back towards the castle before anyone had the chance of stopping him. Draco watched as Harry softly banged his head on the bench. Then he looked up to meet Draco’s eye and looked a bit guilty.

He hovered around whilst Draco and Daphne tidied up their workstation and then they fell into step with him.

“I’m really sorry.” Harry started. “I thought I was being helpful but I think I messed up.” He said, sighing.

“What did you say?” Draco said, groaning slightly as they headed back to the castle.

“Well, I thought if I gave him some warning that you wanted to speak to him and told him why then he might be more prepared for it.” Harry explained in an apologetic sort of way. “I was trying to persuade him to hear you out.”

“Looks like it worked out wonderfully.” Draco said sarcastically.

“I’m sure Harry was trying to help.” Daphne pointed out next to him. 

“Yes I know.” Draco reluctantly admitted. “Don’t worry about it. He’s never going to listen to me. It’s fine.”

“Try again tomorrow after Defence. He’s always in a good mood after his favourite class, particularly on a Friday when we have the free after it. Early start to the weekend and all.” Harry suggested enthusiastically.

“Hmm maybe.” Draco replied, unconvinced.

The next day Draco was feeling better about it. He had thought about it more and spoken to Harry again during the night and was resolved to try and speak to Weasley today after DADA like Harry suggested. It was a good sign that when they went into the classroom there were no desks and everyone was looking around excitedly.

Bill signalled to the bean bags clustered at the front. “Come in guys, take a seat. Then I’ll go through what we’re doing today.”

Everyone scrambled to take a ‘seat’, Draco still didn’t like bean bags but it wasn’t like he had much choice in the matter. The professor himself didn’t take a bean bag this time but just perched on his desk slightly so he was above them all still.

“Right, today is the day you’ve been waiting for.” He announced happily once everyone was ready for the class to begin. “Today I’m going to get you set up with your partner so we can really get going with the duelling. Like I said, I am going to pair you with someone who can teach you something. I will be expecting you to test each other and observe each other’s styles so you can see what you have to learn from each other. I am going to be explaining each pairing based on what I see your strengths and weaknesses as.”

Everyone seemed excited but also slightly nervous and were looking around to try and predict who they would be partnered with. Draco was still hoping he’d be partnered with Harry, they seemed to have opposing strengths and weaknesses and he already knew they could teach each other well.

“So, let’s see… where shall we start.” Bill said looking around and then quickly checking some notes on his desk. “Hermione!” He said suddenly and she looked up in surprise and anticipation. “You obviously have the best theory but sometimes you’re too stiff in your duelling like you’re just going through the motions. You’re thinking about what you  _ should  _ do rather than what you  _ could _ do and you’re not pushing yourself enough. I think you need someone who is a bit more unpredictable to challenge you and someone who is fast. It will be interesting to see your reactions when you don’t have as much time to think. You’ll have to loosen up a bit and rely on instinct a bit more rather than what you’ve read.”

Weasley was looking at Hermione and grinning and she seemed to be considering the professors words and agreeing with them.

“The person with the fastest reactions in duelling is you Daphne.” Bill said looking straight at Daphne who was set on Draco’s left. All the others including Hermione turned to look at her and she held her head up proudly. “You are unpredictable and your methods are not always that...  _ orthodox _ . That can be a good thing and a bad thing. I’m sure you can teach Hermione that not everything has to come from a book-”

Several people laughed and Harry gave Hermione a playful nudge. 

“However,” Bill continued looking at Daphne still. “Sometimes your loose form and wandwork lets you down and I think Hermione could teach you that sometimes the ‘proper’ way of doing a spell works out better.”

Both Hermione and Daphne looked a little surprised at this pairing but they also both seemed a little impressed at their professors' reasoning. Draco had to admit that Bill was right and he could definitely see the advantages of being paired with someone who had the opposite techniques. Hermione and Daphne would probably be able to teach each other a few things. It made him more excited about his own partner and also made him admit, not for the first time, that Bill Weasley was a pretty decent teacher.

“So, if you ladies want to set yourselves up at the back of the room. No practical just yet but why don’t you have a bit of a discussion about your strengths and weaknesses. See if you agree with me or have any more of your own to add and make a bit of a plan on where you want to start in tutoring each other.” Bill instructed. Hermione and Daphne both stood up and gave each other a strange sort of challenging smile and then went to sit at the back. 

This went on in much the same way for the next ten minutes or so as more and more students got paired off and stationed themselves at the back of the classroom. Neville got paired with Susan as one lacked confidence but one had a bit too much. Micheal, who was great with spells but not as good at moving, ducking and diving during duels, got paired with Lisa who had the opposite problem. Ernie and Hannah got paired for similar reasons but also Hannah struggles with non-verbal spells and Ernie was notoriously good at them. 

All the girls had been paired off now which suited Draco. Not that he had anything against the girls but he knew he wouldn’t work well with Hermione or Daphne and he just didn’t know the other female students well enough to trust them. Blaise, Tony and Harry were still left so Draco was hoping he’d get paired with one of them. Looks like it wouldn’t be Tony though as Bill had just paired him with Dean. Apparently Dean took too many risks whereas Tony didn’t take enough.

That left four boys, Draco, Blaise, Harry and Weasley, who Bill now beckoned forward so they were grouped together at the front. Harry and Blaise didn’t seem that concerned, they would probably be happy in any pairing but Draco and Weasley briefly met each other’s eyes with slight concern and then quickly looked away.

“Right then.” Bill said slowly and he seemed slightly nervous. Draco suddenly got a bad feeling that there was a reason these guys were left until last whilst the rest of the class was distracted and chatting away. 

“Blaise,” Bill said with more confidence and Blaise took a short breath and looked up in hopeful suspense. “Your offensive magic is very strong but your defensive spells could use some work. Also, no judgement or anything, but out of all the guys, you have the least practical experience. Therefore, it makes sense to partner you up with the guy who, sadly, has had the most amount of experience here. He also happens to be a bit of an expert in defensive magic, isn’t that right Harry?”

Blaise raised his eyebrows in surprise but looked pretty happy and a bit smug. Of course he would, who wouldn’t want to be partnered with Harry? Harry however was looking concerned but not because of Blaise, because he had realised who was left. Draco had realised too and felt a bit sick as Harry looked at him in concern. 

Weasley seemed a bit slow on the uptake and it was only when Harry somewhat reluctantly got to his feet after Blaise that the predictable reaction happened.

“OH HELL NO.” Weasley said rather loudly looking back and forth between Draco and his brother with furious disbelief.

Blaise had also now realised what was happening and was hovering on his feet just next to Draco with Harry awkwardly standing there too. Weasleys loud outburst had also caused the rest of the class to stop their discussions and look back in their direction.

Draco just sat there mute whilst Professor Weasley started explaining himself. “Ron, you have a lot of power in your spells but you lack control. You’re too wild with your style and your aim is off sometimes. Draco has the most control out of everyone. His magic is precise and exact but he sometimes lacks power. The two of you could be good for each other if you can work together.” He looked at Draco who was just sitting on his bean bag still giving anything anyway and then to Ron who stood up red faced and throwing his arms up dramatically.

“Well what if we can’t work together?” He snapped.

“That would be extremely childish and disappointing.” Bill said, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows at Ron.

“Bill, this is a joke right? Out of everyone you could have paired me with you choose  _ him _ ? You trying to make a point of something? Inter-house unity blah blah blah I get it. I’ll partner with Zabini if you want.” Weasley said, gesturing to Blaise who muttered “gee thanks” and rolled his eyes.

Professor Weasley sighed and spoke again. “Believe it or not Ron I’m not doing this just to ‘make a point’ or punish you. I am actually taking my role as a teacher quite seriously and I genuinely think these pairings are the best for everyone-”

“Well they’re blatantly not because I can’t work with someone I don’t trust. I’m not doing it.” Weasley said crossing his arms across his chest too and sulking like a petulant child.

The two brothers were now having some sort of stand off and everyone else in the class was just awkwardly watching to see who would win. Draco still hadn’t given a reaction to any of this. He really wasn’t thrilled about the idea of working with Weasley either but then he was going to try and apologise to him today anyway. He just wanted this petty rivalry to be over, he was too tired for it, so he wasn’t about to make matters any worse.

“Ron, come on, be an adult about this. It’s time you put away any personal feelings and admit that Draco has a lot that he could teach you-”

“What, like how to be a Death Eater? Is that something you want me to learn Bill?” Weasley interrupted the teacher with disgust in his voice and raising his voice slightly. He was clearly getting agitated again. Draco’s gut reaction was to recoil and curl up in his bean bag but he forced himself to sit there straight backed and head held high.

“You know as well as I do that isn’t what Draco is. He was forced to play his part in a war that he was too young for, same as you.” Professor Weasely tried to reason with the younger Weasley.

“Yeah he was just on the wrong side but suddenly that doesn’t seem to matter anymore.” Weasley said, turning to scowl at Draco.

That was it. He couldn’t just sit here and take it anymore. If Weasley didn't want a private apology then he would just get a public one. He was the one making a fuss in front of the whole class, if he wanted to do this here and now then so be it.

Bill opened his mouth to speak but Draco held up his head to stop him as politely and as respectfully as he could. He rose to his head and turned slowly to look at Weasley. The tension in the room was thick and you could hear a pin drop, it was that quiet.

“I know I wasn’t on the right side but I wasn’t on the wrong side either, not in my heart.” He said speaking in a slow controlled way. “I know I made mistakes and I’m not excusing my behaviour but I did what I had to do to survive. I wish I could go back and be braver. I wish I could have realised sooner where my path was headed and tried to get myself and my family out but I can’t change the past.” Draco took a deep breath and forced himself to carry on in a calm manner. He wasn’t letting himself get rattled by this.

“What would you have done in my situation? If your father had chosen the wrong side before you were even born so that when Tom Riddle came back your family was already locked in to serve him and you didn’t have a choice. What would you do if you returned from school one summer to find your house had been taken over by an evil maniac and his followers were watching your every move? What would you do if your father was in Azkaban and you were marched into your own drawing room by your crazy evil Aunt and forced to take the Dark Mark at sixteen otherwise your mother would die?”

At this point everyone was listening to Draco’s speech. Weasley’s ears were flushed red and he opened his mouth a few times to interrupt but then thought better of it so Draco just carried on. 

“I’m not saying you had it easy Weasley. I know from Harry some of what you went through and it sounds like hell. I know you lost people too and I’m truly sorry for that but in some ways you were lucky you know. You were born into your family who just happened to be on the right side and you were able to follow your parents and become a war hero. Well I can’t help the family I was born into but I’m trying now to do the right thing and believe it or not my parents are too. You know that none of us fought in the final battle and for the record, just so we’re absolutely clear on this, I am very glad that the bastard is dead. I never wanted him to win, I would have killed myself rather than live in a world where he ruled. For what it’s worth I am grateful to you for your efforts in the war. Harry said he could never have done it without you so thank you and I’m sorry… for everything.”

When Draco finished speaking there was absolute silence. He glanced over to Bill quickly and was pleased to see Bill give him a proud sort of nod. He chanced a quick look at Harry too so was smiling proudly at him. Then he looked back at Weasley with steely determination and bravely stuck his hand out for a handshake.

Weasley was standing there breathing deeply. He looked like he didn’t know how to feel and his face all red and screwed up with the effort of simply thinking about it. He stared down at Draco’s outstretched hand. Then he turned his head slightly to Harry who was standing near him. Harry smiled at him and gave him an encouraging nod. Then he clapped his hand on Weasley’s shoulder and squeezed it slightly. Weasley then turned his head in the direction of the back left corner of the room where Draco knew Hermione was. He looked like he was having a quick silent conversation with his girlfriend but Draco didn’t turn round to look. He was using every ounce of effort to keep his hand steady and not shake with nerves.

The pause Weasley took seemed to take an absolute eternity and Drcao was seriously debating withdrawing his head and running back to his bedroom like a coward. But he didn’t. Eventually though Weasley took a deep breath and clasped Draco’s outstretched hand.

“Right.” He started to say, somewhat awkwardly. “Let’s do this Malfoy. I’m warning you though, I aint going easy on you.”

“Wouldn’t want you to, Weasley. I’d rather beat you when you’re at your best.” Draco said with the tiniest hint of a smile.

Weaslery snatched his hand away and gestured over to a space at the side of the room. Draco followed and sat down next to him but not too close. Blaise and Harry sat down in the space at the front near the professor's desk.

“Excellent.” Bill said, looking relieved. “Blaise and Harry, Ron and Draco you guys need to have a quick chat like the others have done. Everyone else feel free to get started on a little friendly duel in your pairs working on the aspects you’ve discussed. I’ll be coming round to visit each pair and see how you’re getting along shortly.”

Just like that movement and talking resumed in the classroom and the tension disappeared.

Draco was suddenly a bit nervous again and really didn’t know how this pairing was going to work out. He was about to speak when Weasley got there first. 

“This doesn’t make us friends.” He pointed out but his voice was mostly flat with no hint of maliciousness. “But I- I reckon I can work with you. You’re, erm, you’re decent at control at stuff. I’d like to be better.” 

“That’s fine.” Draco said honestly. “We don’t have to be friends, I just don’t want to have any more enemies. I’m here to do as well in my exams and learn as much as I can. Professor Weasley is right, you do have power which I lack but I can teach you to have more control.”

Draco wasn’t arrogant, in fact he had a rather low opinion of himself most of the time. But he did know what his strengths were and there were still some things he was proud of. He had really been enjoying teaching Harry and although Weasley was a bit more of a reluctant student, he knew he could improve his duelling if he was receptive to his tutoring. 

Draco had been working on power up on the Astronomy tower with Harry and if he was honest he wasn’t sure what Weasley could teach him that Harry couldn’t but practice was always good. He had watched Weasley duel with Harry and he had to admit that Weasley’s practical experience had done wonders for his technique. He was a force to be reckoned with and Draco liked an opponent who could challenge him. Maybe this would be fun.

At the very least he could tick the last apology of his list. Not a bad way to start the weekend.


	26. The Real ‘Boy-Who-Lived’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween Feast at Hogwarts but it's a bit different this year.  
> Draco notices one person is missing though and at the night of the night he goes to find him for a long chat where everything comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an important chapter and probably my favourite so far so I hope you like it!  
> I think it will make some of you happy anyway!
> 
> A big night for the school in terms of inter-house unity.  
> Draco realises that he can relax and have fun and maybe actually be happy.   
> His relationship with Harry takes a little step forward and he starts to raise his own self-esteem too and think more positively.

The Halloween feast was a bit different this year. Professor McGonagall was hosting a proper party and The Great Hall had been transformed. In a bid to help build more inter-house unity the four long house tables had vanished and were replaced with lots of large circular tables dotted throughout the hall. The table at the front that the seventh year students normally sat at was now full of delicious Halloween food and people were queuing up to get their food buffet style before finding a seat. They were encouraged to sit amongst people they hadn’t sat with before and house points were being awarded to those who did as an extra incentive. 

No one was wearing school robes, most of them were just wearing the muggle clothing they wore at the weekend but the ones who really took inter-house unity seriously were deliberately dressed up to demonstrate it and were keen to get some extra house points for their effort. All of the teachers had set an example in their own outfits in some way. Hagrid was showing off his incredibly ugly outfit and it was causing lots of laughs but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest. In fact he seemed quite happy that his green hairy suit jacket, his bright blue ill-fitting trousers, mustard yellow shirt and bright red tie were making people smile.

Neville had come up with a plan for all the seventh year students to wear outfits of purple and white, most were enthusiastic, a few weren’t too keen but no one refused. The girls had been very excited about it and had been helping everyone transfigure various items of clothing in the common room and given everyone makeover advice. Much to Draco’s amusement Blaise was now sat to him sporting alternate white and purple nails with delicate little gold and silver stars on them that moved. Draco had to admit that Lisa Turpin had done a good job on them and he couldn’t help notice the wink that Blaise had given her and the way her cheeks had blushed when he had done so. 

In fact Blaise looked incredibly handsome tonight in crisp white dress robes that contrasted against his dark skin. Draco had opted for deep purple dress robes that complimented his much paler complexion. It had been a long time since he had the excuse to dress up and he found that he rather liked it. He was eating and sleeping better now so his ribs were no longer showing and the dark circles under his eyes had gone too. He knew he looked good even if no one was looking at him. Lots of people were looking at Blaise though and he was revelling in it. 

Luna Lovegood, had her own way of showing inter-house unity and was wearing a hideously bright rainbow dress that she had attached random serpents, lions, badgers and eagles to. She had also plaited her hair with interwoven red, green, blue and yellow ribbons and had several more long ribbons on her arm offering to do the same to anyone else’s hair. Several people were still giving her odd looks and avoiding her but Professor Weasley had walked straight up to her with his long hair down around his shoulders and told her to “knock herself out” with it. She did an excellent job despite all the ribbon colours clashing horribly with his red hair and it got several laughs from around the hall. Professor Delacour was smiling at her husband affectionately and asked Luna kindly for some ribbons for her hair, although Draco couldn’t help notice the transfiguration teacher doing her own delicate up-do with the ribbons rather than allowing Luna to do it for her. 

All in all the festivities were going surprisingly well given what had been happening around the school in the last week. It was weird how quickly things had turned around. Draco thought that Professor McGonagall threatening to cancel Quidditch if the houses couldn’t get along was largely to do with it. Apparently though both of the beaters from the Gryffindor quidditch team had suddenly and rather suspiciously resigned. He’d heard Ginerva telling Thomas all about it, she was very annoyed. She said that they had refused to give a reason, just that they couldn’t play anymore. He also heard they had been avoiding the rest of the team and had seemed very guilty and nervous about  _ something. _

Draco couldn’t help but think he knew what that something was but he kept it to himself. He was sure that the Headmistress had her suspicions about the Gryffindor team too. He heard that she’d supervised both their practices this week and given them a good talking to about keeping focused on the game and leaving their feelings towards  _ any _ members of the Slytherin house  _ old or new _ to themselves and not to act on them in  _ any way _ .

It probably also helped that both Gryffindor and Slytherin had lost so many house points this week that they really couldn’t afford to lose anymore if they had any hopes of winning the house cup this year. Surprisingly Hufflepuff were now leading the way which hadn’t happened in years. Although maybe it wasn’t surprising as they were known as the nicest hour really and their prefects and quidditch captain had really been promoting inter-house unity.

Whatever the true reasons behind it everyone seemed to like the excuse to celebrate and have a bit of a break from the norm seemed to be doing people the world of good. Students from all houses and all year groups were chatting away and the atmosphere in the hall was calm and happy for once. Draco, who was finally on good terms with every one of his classmates was the most relaxed he’d been all year and was finally beginning to accept that maybe he could be happy. The evening would have been perfect if it were not for one thing. The very obvious absence of the company Draco found himself craving the most these days. Harry Potter was nowhere to be seen. 

It was odd that he wasn’t here, surely he would want to be at the forefront of the celebrations proudly demonstrating his own feelings on inter-house unity. Nobody had even mentioned his absence or asked where he was. Draco couldn’t help but feel worried about him, if he wasn’t here then did that mean he wasn’t ok? But Hermione and  _ Ronald  _ didn’t seem worried. Finally Draco’s curiosity got the better of him, as he knew it would, and he took the opportunity to ask Hermione whilst her boyfriend was getting yet another round of buffet food.

“Where’s Harry? I haven’t seen him all evening.” He said trying to sound as casual as he could.

Hermione glanced at him warily and looked a little nervous but she tried to keep her voice casual too. “Erm no, you wouldn’t have done. He’s out of the castle tonight, with Professor McGonagall’s permission of course.”

That was strange, where could he have gone? To see Teddy perhaps? But it was evening now and surely the baby would be in bed. Plus, if it was only to see his Godson then would he not have mentioned it? There was something about Hermione’s voice that made him think there was something personal about where he was. It must have been important to him to miss this and for the headmistress to grant him permission. 

He must have let his concern show on his face as Hermione was now looking at him kindly. That was weird too. She lay her delicate hand on his knee, this was getting stranger. 

“Wait for him tonight, you know, up on the Astronomy Tower. I’m sure he’ll come.” She said quietly then quickly withdrew her hand.

Draco looked at her in surprise. “You know? About the Astronomy Tower?” He asked guardedly.

She nodded. “Not everything.” She said hurriedly. “He would never betray what you tell him, but I know you meet up there. We’re quite close again now that Ron has calmed down a bit and Harry knows we’ve both accepted you. He doesn’t talk to Ron about it but he speaks to me quite a lot. I think those talks have been good for him, you know.” She said thoughtfully, she paused before carrying on. “You can ask him later, where he’s been tonight. I don’t know if he’ll tell you but I think he will. If he doesn’t though, don’t be offended, just be there for him. He’ll need you.”

He couldn’t think what to say but he nodded at her gratefully just as Ronald came to sit back down. Then thinking that he needed to be away from this for a bit and that he should probably do some mingling. He went to sit with some younger Slytherin students who he recognised and who were looking lonely. He tried to push Harry out of his mind for now so he could enjoy the evening. Hopefully he’ll get some answers later but if not, it’s Harry’s business and he would have to respect that.

Professor McGonagall had insisted all the younger students go to bed at eleven but the seventh years had stayed up until midnight talking to some of the teachers in the Great Hall. Draco hadn’t planned on staying that late but to his surprise he was actually enjoying himself and was engaged in quite a good conversation with Professor Delacour and Professor Rosier. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually had fun like this, it was nice. He dragged behind the other seventh year students as they all eventually went up to bed and quietly slipped away heading straight to the Astronomy Tower. He didn’t mind the fact that he was still in his dress robes, he didn’t want to miss Harry; he would wait up there all night if he had to, even if Harry didn’t come.

When he walked out onto the deck of the Astronomy tower he couldn’t see anyone but there was a distinct sound of muffled crying.

“Harry?” He said as gently as he could.

There was a big sigh from somewhere over to his right. He was certain that Harry was here under the cloak but maybe he didn’t want Draco to intrude. Then again, this was their shared space wasn’t it? Harry would probably know Draco would come up here, if he wanted to avoid Draco wouldn’t he go somewhere else? Hermione’s words from earlier came into his head _ ‘just be there for him. He’ll need you.’  _ He took a tentative step forward.

“Harry, I’m just going to sit here ok? You don’t have to talk, you don’t even have to take off the cloak if you don’t want to, I’ll just be here unless you tell me to leave.” He said softly in the direction that he was sure Harry was.

When there was no answer he sat down where he stood not wanting to get too close as he didn’t know exactly where Harry was. After a few moments the quiet sniffling stopped and shortly after that Harry appeared out of thin air folding the cloak and putting it beside him. He was wearing old trainers, tatty ill fitting jeans and a slightly baggy emerald green hoodie. He definitely looked like he’d been crying as his eyes were red and puffy under his glasses. Draco had the sudden urge to go and give him a hug, that was very unlike him. Stupid thought, he dismissed it and stayed looking out at the night sky and not at Harry.

“You look good.” Was the first thing that Harry said and when Draco did turn to look at Harry he could see Harry was blinking rapidly and looking him up and down.

“Try not to sound so surprised next time you compliment me Potter, I believe I have always been objectively handsome.” He said in a mock arrogant voice that he hoped would make Harry smile. It did. 

Harry was smiling at him and there was a tiny hint of a nod. Harry thought he looked good. Draco wasn’t really sure why he cared or why it meant something to him but somehow it did.

Harry gave a little chuckle to himself. “Yeah, guess you have. Was it fun then, the party?” He asked casually but his voice was still a bit strained from crying.

“Yes it was actually. Don’t tell anyone but I think I may have enjoyed it.” Draco said dryly. 

He was still trying to process Harry agreeing with him. Had he just called him handsome… in a way…? Harry laughed again and Draco’s stomach did a little flip. He very much liked the fact that he could make Harry laugh whenever he wanted to. 

“Your secret is safe with me.” He said, humouring Draco with a little smile underneath those tear stained cheeks.

After a pause Draco said casually. “You were missed though.” Hmm, did he really just say that?

Harry looked up intrigued. “Oh yeah, by who? By you?!” He asked teasingly.

“No of course not.” Draco said quickly and then added. “I just wanted to see you dressed up again and awkwardly dancing like the Yule Ball, that was highly amusing.” 

Harry groaned. “Eugh, don’t remind me, that was so embarrassing, not everyone grew up with a ballroom in their manor house you know!”

“Relax, you didn’t look as bad as you think you did. The dress robes were nice. I reckon you can scrub up well when you want to Potter. If only you got rid of those awful glasses and did something with that ridiculous hair you might even be good looking.” Draco said nonchalantly.

“So basically just change my whole face then?” Harry laughed.

“No, I didn’t say anything about your face, your face is alright.” Draco said a little too quickly and wasn’t quite sure why he’d said it.

“Oh right, erm, thanks.” Harry said awkwardly.

They sat there for a few more moments not saying anything and for once the silence was actually slightly awkward and Draco didn’t know why. After a few minutes the awkwardness passed though and they were comfortably just sitting alongside each other each with their own thoughts as they often did. Harry’s expression had turned more sombre now and Draco got the impression he was ready to talk. Sure enough he heard a deep intake of a breath and then Harry began in a determined fashion as he often did, not looking at Draco but looking ahead into the night sky.

“I was visiting their grave. Halloween was the night that  _ He _ ... that they…” He said quietly, not quite finishing his sentence but he didn’t have to, he’d said enough.

“Oh.” Said Draco simply before gathering himself. “I’m sorry Harry, I didn’t know it was today.” He said gently.

“That’s OK, I wouldn’t expect you to.” Harry shrugged. He had recovered from his earlier crying but he still looked sad.

“Do you... do you remember anything? I know you would have been too young but just wondering maybe if there was… something.” Draco asked quietly, wanting to know and thinking Harry needed to talk about it but wondering if that was the wrong question to ask.

Harry didn’t seem to mind though and it seemed like he did have something to say.

“I don’t really remember it as such but I know what happened. Ever since I could remember, way before I knew anything-” What did that mean? Draco wondered, what hadn’t he known? “-I would get these bad dreams of a woman screaming and a bright green light but I didn’t know what it meant, and then, when I found out that they had been… murdered, I figured that’s what that was. I think a part of me had always known in a way…Dumbledore told me some stuff about that night too, at the end of first year and again after second year… Then, during third year, the Dementors, when they were close that’s what I could hear inside my head... my mother’s screams from the night she died. One time I heard my dad too.”

“I’m so sorry Harry, with the Dementors, I had no idea that was the reason you were so badly affected by them, I never would have… If I’d know it was that… I’m just sorry.” Draco said gently, his voice only just louder than a whisper.

Harry made no obvious sign whether he had heard Draco or not but he had paused long enough for Draco to speak. Then he carried on.

“So I had enough to piece it together… I spoke to Sirius, Remus and- and Wormtail too at the end of third year so I had a pretty solid idea. Last year though, after Hermione and I escaped Riddle in Godric’s Hollow, I had a… a  _ vision _ of the whole night, from… from Riddle’s _ perspective …  _ So it’s in here now, I saw it all and I can’t unsee it.” He was shaking and tapping his forehead repeatedly. 

Draco didn’t know what to make of that. To have a vision from that perspective, that was… that was something else. Draco didn’t even know how that was possible but to see your parents being murdered… He couldn’t imagine how Harry coped with that.

He opened his mouth to try and say something, anything, but what do you say to that? Before he knew it though Harry was talking again. He seemed to just want to get it out now he’s started.

“It had been a happy night. I had been playing in the sitting room with my dad, laughing, then my mum came in to take me up to bed. My dad was relaxed, didn’t even have his wand in his hand when Riddle came up the path and burst the door open. He shouted to my mother to take me and go, said he’d hold him off but he had no chance, it was over so quickly for him. A flash of green light and that was it. He was dead on the floor in the hallway. My mum was screaming upstairs, she was trying to barricade herself in, piling boxes up against the door of my nursery but she had no wand on her either, they’d trusted their friend so much. He wasn’t planning on killing her. I never told you but Snape, he loved my mother. He begged Riddle to spare her and he agreed but then she threw herself in front of me and wouldn’t move out the way. She was begging him to spare me and kill herself instead. He gave her one last chance to stand aside but she didn’t so he killed her too. I wasn’t even crying, I was just standing in my cot, until his wand was pointing directly in my face, then I cried and he couldn’t stand it. He hated children, hated their crying. He said the curse but it rebounded onto him. He couldn’t die though because he’d made the horcruxes by this point. He just broke, his body was nothing, but his soul was still there.”

“Shit Harry.” Draco said stunned. To see that, to have that playing inside your head, he couldn’t believe it. 

There were still things he didn’t understand though. This vision that Harry describes was so real, how could he possibly know what happened that night with that much detail. Draco had been thinking for a long time that there was something odd about how much Harry knew of Riddle, how much he  _ understood _ him. There have been other things too that he’s mentioned in his stories that Draco knew he had no way of knowing. So far in their night time chats they’d covered  _ most _ of the battle including the final duel, the whole of the hunt for horcruxes and pretty much all of their time at Hogwarts with how Harry had ended up facing Riddle in some form or another every year, Quirrell, the chamber, the graveyard, the ministry… Harry had told him in basic terms about the protection of his mother’s blood which ensured he survived and how it had played a part in Riddle coming back but he’s never talked in any detail about the night his parents had died. He was coming close to telling him now but there was something Harry was holding back. 

He was wondering if he should ask or not when a quiet voice interrupted his thoughts.

“There’s something I haven’t told you, something big. Something about what happened this night seventeen years ago that ties in the horcruxes, the prophecy, killing Voldemort, everything.” 

Draco just waited, knowing now that Harry would tell him in his own time and that he would just be here, listening. Harry took a deep breath as he often did and prepared himself to let it all out.

“At the end of first year Dumbledore told me about my mother’s love protecting me. I told you about that but he didn’t elaborate and he didn’t answer my question about why Riddle wanted to kill me, he said I was too young to know the whole truth. At the end of second year the young Riddle that came out of the diary told me how alike he thought we were. We even looked a bit similar, I didn’t tell you that part. Anyway, I asked Dumbledore about it and the fact that I can speak Parseltongue like Riddle can and he said the night that Riddle tried to kill me he transferred some of his powers to me accidentally. I didn’t really understand it but I always had this connection to Riddle, more than just what he did to my parents I mean, it was through my scar. It burned when Quirrell was near during first year and when he came back in the graveyard it was agony.

I thought at first that it was just when he was physically close to me, but during fifth year it was happening more and more and it wasn’t just the pain. I started to feel things, emotions.  _ His _ emotions. I would just get these gut feelings and I just knew it was right. Like the night of the Azkaban breakout, I could  _ feel _ that he was really happy about something. I also had these dreams, but they were real, they were visions. I had a dream about Arthur being attacked by Nagini but in the dream, I was Nagini, I attacked him. When I woke up I knew it was real, that it really happened. I told Dumbledore and they were able to get to him so by saving the dream I kind of saved his life. Then Riddle must have known after that. I had the… the vision of Sirius at the Ministry, I told you that and that it was a trick but I’ve never really explained my visions before and I thought I should. 

I couldn’t stop them though. I was absolutely rubbish at occlumency but I’m not going to lie, there was a part of me that didn’t want to stop them. I knew how dangerous and it was and the visions scared me but they helped me know what Riddle was doing where he was. I had them all last year and I learnt a lot, without them, I don’t think I could have done it all. I glossed over some of the stuff when I told you about the horcrux hunting, I’m sure you realised that. The story doesn’t make sense without the visions I was getting of Riddle and what he was up to.”

Harry paused and looked at Draco for the first time in a while. Draco was stunned just taking it all in, letting Harry talk.

“Have you worked it out yet Draco? You’re much cleverer than me. It’s why I left things out before, I didn’t want you to know too much but I need to tell you now. I want you to know.”

“I-I still don’t understand, this connection, these visions, what, what…” Draco stuttered quietly.

“You will.” Harry said simply before continuing. “You know I learnt about the prophecy at the end of fifth year, I told you that one of the first nights we were up here. So I knew then that one of us had to kill the other in the end but it didn’t really change anything because I’d always known that I wanted to go after him anyway and I always knew that I might die trying. I’ve never been afraid of dying, not really. I don’t have any family, I know I’d have some friends that would miss me but… I don’t know, the main thing that kept me going sometimes was revenge for my parents. The only thing I’ve wanted to do for a long time is to kill him, the fear of dying couldn’t get in my way or I wouldn’t have tried it. You know how many times I’ve come close anyway, too many and I didn’t want anyone else to die for me so I was ok with it if it happened, but I never knew until the last moment that I _ had _ to die.”

“What are you talking about Harry? You're not making sense.” Draco said quietly.

“Snape’s memories, the night of the battle. You knew he gave me some memories just before he died. You’ve never asked me what’s in them.” Harry said simply.

“I wanted to,” Draco admitted. “I’ve thought about it a lot but it just seemed too big, I knew there was something you were holding back, something big, and despite the deal I had about me asking you things… I didn’t want to ask you that. I wanted you to tell me in your own time, when you were ready.” Draco said honestly.

“Well I’m ready.” Harry said, staring at the floor in between them. “Amongst other things, which I’ll tell you another night, I saw a conversation between Snape and Dumbledore during sixth year when they knew Dumbledore was going to die. Dumbledore told Snape that there would come a time where I needed to know something important but I had to find out at the right moment, I had to find out near the end. He told Snape it would be safe to tell me when Riddle was starting to fear for the safety of Nagini-”

“When he knew you had already destroyed some horcruxes.” Draco added.

“Exactly. He told Snape that when the time came for it to be me versus Riddle at the end, that I had to die-”

“WHAT?” Draco interrupted loudly once more before he could stop himself. “But you didn’t actually…” he said, quieter and confused.

“Actually, I think I did.” Said Harry quietly. “Come on Draco, think. You can put it all together I know you can.” 

Harry said looking at him once more and Draco’s brain was going into overdrive, the horcruxes, the visions, the connection, the scar, the night Harry should have died as a baby. Harry carried on slowly.

“On this night seventeen years ago, Riddle tried to kill me but he failed. Instead he did something he never meant to do. His soul latched on to the only other living thing in the room. He made  _ me _ into-”

“-a horcrux.” Draco finished off for him in a whisper, his eyes wide in shock and a sick feeling building up in his stomach.

“Well done” Harry said softly. “You got there faster than Hermione.”

There were a few moments of silence before Draco asked the question he’s been wanting the answer to since his trial, knowing now that Harry would answer him. 

“What happened that night in the forest… when my mother lied to save you?”

Harry nodded and smiled ever so slightly as if he’d been anticipating that question. He took a deep breath and then began another short story once more. One which Draco just listened to as always.

“After Snape’s memory I knew what needed to be done. I knew I had to die and Riddle himself had to do it. I know if I spoke to anyone else they would try and stop me and the hour was almost up. I went to the forest under the cloak, on my own to see him. I just walked right up to where he was, I took the cloak off and tucked it away with my wand. He shot me square in the chest with the killing curse and... I died. I died and the bit of his soul in me died too. I could feel it, and there’s no way I could have survived that time, no weird wand tricks, no one died to save me, no one survives the killing curse... but I walked in there prepared to die. I didn’t even attempt to defend myself, I just let it happen and according to Dumbledore that made all the difference. 

I know it sounds crazy but he came to me then and said if I wanted to, I could  _ move on…  _ I could stay dead… and it was tempting you know? I think if it had been over, if it had happened right at the end after Nagini was killed and I knew it had all ended, I think I would have done. I would have stayed dead… but the job wasn’t quite finished. Ron or Hermione could have done it, and I even told Neville about Nagini before I went, that turned out to be a good move! So you could have all still won without me at the end, but somehow it didn’t feel right. I wanted to look him in the eye, Harry Potter to Tom Riddle without any horcruxes and I wanted to  _ know _ that he was dead.

So I came back. I could feel my body on the floor of the forest then, slowly coming back to myself but I dared move. I pretended to be dead still. He sent your mother to check if I was really dead but she could tell I wasn’t of course. She asked me if you were still alive somewhere in the castle. That was all she cared about,  _ you _ , she just wanted to find you. She loves you know. He does too I think, your father I mean. He was begging Riddle to let him come and find you in the castle. He tried to trick him into going into the castle for me so that he could find you. That’s all either of them wanted that night, Draco, was to keep you alive. Your mother lied to Riddle for you. Then… you know the rest.” 

Harry paused allowing his words to sink in. Draco knew it in his heart, his parents loved him, but there was still a bitter taste to it in his mouth, why couldn’t they have told him enough? Why had they dragged him into this. Draco looked up at Harry once more as he spoke.

“I am glad I came back to do that, it was good to watch them realise that he had lost… but on my bad days I- I sometimes wish I could have had that moment and then maybe we could have both died at the end. Sometimes I think that would have been better... Sometimes I still wonder why I chose to come back, what I came back for.”

Draco let out a long breath. “Sweet Salazar Harry.”

“Yeah.” Harry breathed out. “I’ve never told anyone that last part before. No one.”

“Why did you tell me?” Draco asked in a gentle whisper.

“Because you won’t judge. Because I think you understand.” Harry said softly.

“I- I do.” Came the quiet reply from Draco.

“I know… thank you.” Were Harry’s last words of the night.

Without thinking Draco shuffled toward Harry and gently put his arm around his shoulder pulling him close. Harry responded immediately to the touch and curled into Draco’s chest. Draco wrapped his other arm around Harry and they just sat there, quietly. No one spoke. It wasn’t like the tight embrace they’d had when Draco had been sobbing. This was different. There were so many unsaid things going into this touch. It should have been strange, especially for Draco who never hugged anyone, but it wasn’t strange at all. Before too long Draco became aware of a solitary tear rolling down his cheek, his heart breaking for everything Harry had told him, everything that he had been through. 

He didn’t know how long they sat there like that, not moving, not speaking. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, it didn’t matter. He wasn’t sure who broke the connection first, maybe they did it at the same time, it just felt like the right time and when they moved away it wasn’t awkward. Harry was looking into Draco’s eyes with those bright green ones and he gave Draco the tiny hint of a smile and a little nod of the head. Draco returned it and they stood up in silence acknowledgement and walked back to their room.

It was late and Draco was still in his dress robes but for once he didn’t want to shower, he just wanted to sleep. He felt peaceful, he knew that he would sleep tonight. Somehow the fact that Harry and unburdened himself so massively made Draco feel lighter too. Like it was a weight that he had unknowingly been carrying as well and together they’d freed themselves of it. 

He had his back turned to Harry as he stripped himself of his robes and got himself into pyjamas. He didn't even care if Harry saw his Mark. He’d seen it before after all and Draco couldn’t even feel vulnerable in front of Harry anymore, not after what had been shared tonight. Harry probably wasn’t even looking anyway as he got himself ready for bed too. 

Draco got into his covers and pulled the curtains thinking about the importance of what had just happened. Harry had been opening up to him for two months, sharing almost everything with him but he had been holding something back just slightly. Tonight he had let go, he had told him everything, he had told him something that they’d never told anyone before. Not his ex-girlfriend, not his best friends, not his surrogate family, only Draco. He had trusted Draco, completely and Draco wasn’t sure if he’d ever been the recipient of that much trust before. Blaise was his best friend now, he had no more doubts about that but Harry... There was something else there, it was different. 

Somehow knowing that someone could put that much trust in him made him feel worthwhile. He’d been struggling with self-worth on and off for a while but now he was slowly realising that there were people who liked him, who relied on him and who trusted him. That was worth something. Plus he had the ability to make Harry laugh and smile. That was definitely worth something too.

He was reflecting on what had happened before the serious conversation. He’d just been trying to make Harry smile, to stop him crying, to make him feel safe and happy. Sometimes he felt something in the moments they teased each other though. Was it the way brothers would taunt and tease? He didn’t know he’d never had one… but Harry had definitely said he  _ looked good  _ and there had been something in those eyes. It was almost as if they had been…  _ flirting _ ?

No. It definitely wasn’t that for Merlin’s sake. It was just because he’d never formed a new friendship with a guy before like this. Him and Blaise had sort of naturally just happened over a few years and he knew Blaise. He was still getting to know Harry and they were just joking around together to make each other feel better. That’s all it was. 

It most definitely  _ was not _ flirting. No way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all,  
> Thanks so much for reading this and I hope you're enjoying it.  
> I'd love to hear your thoughts so please let me know!  
> I realise I probably should have posted the chapters more spread out like I'd originally intended to so I had a chance to write the rest but I find it so hard to sit on a chapter once it's written! However, as I'm back to work now my life is a lot busier than it was when I started this story which unfortunately means I don't get as much time to write :(  
> Therefore, from now on this fic will only get updated once a week. I will aim to post a new chapter every Sunday evening (UK time) but I can't make any promises!  
> The only thing I will promise is that the chapters WILL comes and I will never ever completely abandon this story!

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the first fanfic I ever started writing and I've written about 25% of it based on what I've planned out but it's not finished yet so I don't know exactly how it's going to go or how long it will end up being.  
> I'm just updating it as and when really. Mostly I've been adding the chapters I have written about once a day but when it gets to the ones I still need to write updates will slow down significantly (more like once a week).  
> I have another fic on here that I'm in the middle of writing too... I know I should focus on one at at a time really but I just love them both! I probably will focus more on my other one 'Sharing the Story' for now though as it's more complete.  
> I am definitely still aiming to finish both of my stories. The main reason I started uploading this one too was because I knew once it was up here then I would have to finish it so it gives me motivation!


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